After all the crap of the last 2 weeks, I have been mostly holding in something pretty awful that was happening alongside my faux pas....
I almost went blind.
No, it wasn't from me running with scissors, or using a Red Ryder BB Gun.... it was mostly my own fault. I have worn contacts since I was 13. When I was told I'd need glasses in 7th grade, I was excited... till I went to school and was bullied. 4 eyes. Nerd. Geek. And you have to remember that back then? That was not an awesome thing like it is today. As soon as the doctor said I was old enough, I hit the contact lens band wagon. I have always worn them and only used my glasses for before bed so I could see to brush my teeth. I also never had any trouble with them. I put them in, took them out, and cleaned them regularly.
Over the years, time & money has dictated when I get my contacts updated, and I will be the first one to admit I try to make those little pieces of plastic stretch farther than they should. I'm more inclined to send my kids to get their eye exams than go for myself. I finally did go a few weeks ago. I was starting to not be able to wear my contacts more than 7 hours at a time and by the end of the day they were painful! My vision was blurry more often than not. I finally got an appointment with my kid's eye doc and my first clue that I was in trouble was the pre exam where the guy asked me if I had a really bad astigmatism. Yes, I have an astigmatism, but it was never that bad. I get into the chair, the guy does his thing with the old "Which is better, 1 or 2?" deal and after getting WAY close to my eyeballs, turns to me and say...
"Your eyes are so inflamed and swollen they are in danger of rupturing."
Yup. I had an infection on both eyes. The pain? Corneal abrasions. Not being able to wear my contacts longer than 7 hours? My eyes had swollen to the point that they no longer fit at all. I was told I couldn't get a new eye script until following a 7 day regimen of eye drops and throwing away ALL of my contacts, solution bottles, cases, etc. EVERYTHING!
Now? I had them rig up my old glasses (10 years) and I started dropping shit in my eyes like it was crack. One of my fears in life? Not being able to see. So I dropped drops in my eyes right on time, every time! Even during the frackas I created, I still dropped it like it was hot. I can get another job. I can't replace my eyes. (OK yeah you can replace parts of your eyes, but that wasn't going to be an option for me.)
So, we go back a week later. I'm super nervous. I get in the chair and after the "1 or 2" deal, I get approved for new glasses. A week ago, my eyes were so swollen even if I had gotten a prescription for new lenses, it wouldn't have done any good because after the swelling went down my prescription would change again. As long as I didn't skip any of the rest of my drops, I was no longer in danger of having my eyeballs pop like grapes in a press! I got new glasses and a trial pair of contacts I haven't tried yet. Maybe I'm a little gun shy.
So in the midst of personal tragedy I had a moment of clarity on what's really important. People make mistakes. Some big, some small, and some that could change the way you look at the world. Being able to see the people who love me?