Soul sucking self doubt.
It's what's for dinner, and apparently, lunch and breakfast too.
I've been looking for another job ever since I finally stood up to the boss ladies at the green cleaning company about their shoddy management of day off requests. HHH said he was proud of me because not long ago I would have let them keep walking all over me, taking their BS till it literally made me sick inside. (It's happened before.) So I have been cruising the CL for a cleaning gig that wouldn't be such a kick in the gut. I applied to several singular gigs, thinking I could put together a schedule of individual clients and cobble out a job on my own. In the midst of looking for those jobs, I saw this.
Executive Housekeeper/Cook (Lutz, North Tampa)
In reality, it was just what I asked for. A house where I could be the Alice to their Brady Bunch. Where I could go, clean the hell out of the place, make a meal to leave in the oven, and be gone before the family arrived home. Perfect. Well, almost perfect. The ad does say the house is 10,000 square feet.
HOLY BIG ASS HOUSE BATMAN!
I put in for that job on a lark because I had absolutely no chance. I have cleaning service experience, not housekeeper experience. I cooked in a quick service environment, not fine dining. I'm fit and in good physical condition, but by derby standards, not Hollywood standards (ie-I got a big butt and I cannot lie!) I never heard back from the people, but mostly I thought it was because they more than likely had more qualified people apply. I mean hell, the ad was placed on June 19th for goodness sakes!
Then I got this.
Thank you for your earlier response to the ads we put on Craigslist. I am sorry for my terrible delay in responding.
Is this something you are still interested in? If so, when would you be available for an interview this week?
Um, ok. Maybe the first candidate didn't work out? I don't know. I was elated at first. It pays really damn good, but then
I answered the ad asking for a chance to interview and set it up, but really? I knew I wasn't going. Later Friday afternoon I emailed back and cancelled and apologized for wasting their time. I just couldn't take the rejection. I've gotten a lot of that lately, and honestly? I didn't want to see the, "You're a nice lady but we don't want you", look again. Worse yet, I didn't want to get the job and let said family down when it became too much for me to handle.
There's something wrong with me, isn't there? I just hope the light at the end of the tunnel isn't a freight train!