Friday, July 12, 2013

Damn It.

Beach Path.

Soul sucking self doubt.

It's what's for dinner, and apparently, lunch and breakfast too.

I've been looking for another job ever since I finally stood up to the boss ladies at the green cleaning company about their shoddy management of day off requests. HHH said he was proud of me because not long ago I would have let them keep walking all over me, taking their BS till it literally made me sick inside. (It's happened before.) So I have been cruising the CL for a cleaning gig that wouldn't be such a kick in the gut. I applied to several singular gigs, thinking I could put together a schedule of individual clients and cobble out a job on my own. In the midst of looking for those jobs, I saw this.

Executive Housekeeper/Cook (Lutz, North Tampa)

Looking for a young, energetic, organized and very thorough Housekeeper who can keep a 10,000 sf house clean as well as handle laundry and cooking one main meal per day. We are looking for someone who is fast but very thorough, who knows how to clean correctly using the right materials and supplies and in proper sequences. This person needs to be well experienced with very high standards. Those applying must be truly professional in all cleaning and cooking skills and conduct themselves in a professional manner at all times. They will need to be fit and in good physical condition. This work will be done as an independent contractor, not as an employee. You will be well compensated and be able to service a truly wonderful family. All applicants please send resume, giving specifics regarding cleaning experience. And please include a photo of yourself and references.


In reality, it was just what I asked for. A house where I could be the Alice to their Brady Bunch. Where I could go, clean the hell out of the place, make a meal to leave in the oven, and be gone before the family arrived home. Perfect. Well, almost perfect. The ad does say the house is 10,000 square feet. 

HOLY BIG ASS HOUSE BATMAN!

I put in for that job on a lark because I had absolutely no chance. I have cleaning service experience, not housekeeper experience. I cooked in a quick service environment, not fine dining. I'm fit and in good physical condition, but by derby standards, not Hollywood standards (ie-I got a big butt and I cannot lie!) I never heard back from the people, but mostly I thought it was because they more than likely had more qualified people apply. I mean hell, the ad was placed on June 19th for goodness sakes!

Then I got this.

Hi Nicole,
Thank you for your earlier response to the ads we put on Craigslist. I am sorry for my terrible delay in responding.
Is this something you are still interested in? If so, when would you be available for an interview this week?
Thank you,


Um, ok. Maybe the first candidate didn't work out? I don't know. I was elated at first. It pays really damn good, but then

Self doubt.
Fear.
Indecision.

I answered the ad asking for a chance to interview and set it up, but really? I knew I wasn't going. Later Friday afternoon I emailed back and cancelled and apologized for wasting their time. I just couldn't take the rejection. I've gotten a lot of that lately, and honestly? I didn't want to see the, "You're a nice lady but we don't want you", look again. Worse yet, I didn't want to get the job and let said family down when it became too much for me to handle.

There's something wrong with me, isn't there? I just hope the light at the end of the tunnel isn't a freight train!


1 comment:

Poppy said...

I think they are asking too much of one person. And you are still very brave for making the attempt! Even if you didn't go to the actual interview, you went through with applying. Keep doing this. And I really hope a smaller home becomes available. (Like, 5000 sq ft plus a meal and laundry sounds way more reasonable on a daily basis!)