Saturday, March 31, 2012

Reinforcement.

I went to my audition anyway. 
I got as far as introducing myself.
They took one look at me and said no.
I never even got to put my skates on.
I feel no better about the fact that they sent all the other older, fatter people away too.
They kept the 18-29 year olds.
I got the privilege of watching the 4 skaters they did keep continue their tryout.
One guy FELL 3 TIMES!
He couldn't even SKATE BACKWARDS!
I could have skated circles around them.
I got deposited back at the HR office and got to feel like a loser, YET AGAIN, for the next hour as I waited for my ride.
I went home.
No job.
Just reinforces the sentiment from my last post.
Maybe one of the cleaning services will call me back. I'm good at shoveling shit. And after the talk HHH had with me when we got home, I just may need my own income.

Friday, March 30, 2012

LOSER

I'm such a fucking loser.

What in the fuck made me think I could ever do anything? I mean seriously... WTF was I thinking??? I'm old. I'm fat. I have no real life. I move at least once a year because my husband can't keep a job. I don't put out often enough. I can't find a job that provides for my kids.

LOSER!

Today we were supposed to be going to Orlando. He had an interview. I had an Audition at Universal the next day.

Ain't gonna happen.

HHH has been looking for a job and even though there have been offers, He doesn't have a drivers license and they tell him "Thanks but no thanks." I can't take it! Then the cell phone company called and said Oh BTW we will be shutting off your phones today.

Dreams killed. My dreams. Every. Fucking. Time.

What little money we had to go to these interviews & my audition is now going to go to keep the phones on so HHH can get more calls about jobs. We have been using the hot spot feature on my phone for internet so that's our only line for that too. I have cancelled my appointment with Universal. I have had a complete melt down in the car when I realized we weren't going to make it to Orlando.

I just can't do this anymore.

I give up.

We move away from everyplace once I get used to it, so I'm no longer unpacking.
We never stay anywhere longer than a year and I always have to say good bye to any friends, So I'm not making any EVER!
I'm no longer gonna go for my dreams. Dreams are for winners. That ain't me. I had a dream to play roller derby. When I started in Sarasota I was doing ok, but then HHH got another job and we moved. Then I joined a league in that city. HHH got ANOTHER job and we moved again. No nearby league. No more derby. I tried driving the hour each way to my old league, but gas is so expensive. It wasn't working out. I had to quit.

Now I had a chance at another dream. As a kid, not only did I want to play derby, I wanted to make money doing something I loved.... roller skating. I had an audition scheduled at a theme park. I was a day away from trying out. Who cares if they might have told me no. I'd have tried, right. But no..... the loser lost out again thanks to Unemployment taking so long to help us (it's been 4 weeks now and counting.), and we have to put every available cent we have towards keeping our phones on so HHH can get a job. Everything is about to be shut off. Phone, lights, EVERYTHING. I should be used to this right? Same song, different verse.

So fuck it. I'm gonna peruse Craigslist for a job scrubbing toilets. I'm good at menial tasks. I'm so used to being shit on, cleaning it up shouldn't be a problem.

Dreams are for winners, not loser like me.

Anyone want to buy a derby starter pack? All skates, pads & Helmet for $100 size 9. I don't need them anymore. That dream is dead.

Thursday, March 29, 2012

IKEA!

HHH took me to IKEA today. He had the idea when I had said I needed to go walking. What better way to walk around than in the hamster habitrails that make up America's favorite Swedish home outlet, right??? So after I dropped off the last kid at school, we hopped in the car and drove on down to find.....


They don't open till 10.


Well poop. But then,  glimmer of hope! The sign says that the restaurant opens at 9:30! Whoo hoo! That's when we notice the horde of elderly people lining up at the doors. Apparently, the allure of a $1.99 breakfast with free coffee is irresistible to old folks! HHH & I decide to wait in the car till the doors open, then go in. Once we did go in, there was a loud musical accompaniment to our going up the escalator, and perky IKEA workers in blue and yellow pointing the way to the cafe'. (BTW... don't try and go shopping early. They'll hunt you down and eat your first born!) HHH & I got in line where I got the $1.99 special and he got a cinnamon roll. It was tasty. It was gluten free. It killed time till we were allowed to go out onto the shopping floor and peruse the wares. 


And peruse we did.


We saw kitchen stuff, bath stuff, hardware, doors, decorator items, and shelves. We dug through bedroom furniture, living room cabinetry, rugs. HHH fell in love with the entertainment centers there. I drooled over the kitchens they had. We both hopped from bedroom to bedroom looking at all the bed frame options.  There was so much crap I doubt we saw everything and it was all so cheap and easy. (That's how mama LIKES it.) we tried valiantly to get out of there having bought nothing more than the breakfast we had already eaten, but to no avail. Once we got to the clearance aisle, we were done for. HHH found a discontinued wire shelving unit for $15 and I got two candles and some Tupperware for $8. OMG, SO. CHEAP! Only problem we had was waiting to check out. The same old people who crowded in to the store that morning were now in the check out lines and had NO IDEA how to use the scanners, how to use their coupons, or how to slide their damn debit card!! AUGH!!


So I am no longer an IKEA virgin and more than likely after HHH finds a job I will be back. I just gotta hope I don't come back with two tons of stuff I didn't know I needed.


Damn crazy Swedes!

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Nervous

Saturday is coming up pretty darn quickly. I'm pretty sure that what ever happens, I'll be outclassed. Yeah, I can smack headlong into a chick 5x larger than me, throwing both of us to the ground, get back up & go hunt down another victim, but the possibility of dancing on my skates with a horde of Gru's Minions in front of hundreds of tourists scares the bejesus out of me. 


Better get over that fast, huh?

Monday, March 26, 2012

Remember My Other Gig?


You guys remember last year when I said I got a new gig writing for a women's shopping & review site? Well, I have still been plugging away over there and because HHH was let go, I haven't been doing it as much, but I'm still doing it. Take today for example.... I wrote a post about my awesome hair dryer I got a few months back when my ancient, early 1990's hair dryer blew up... like literally BLEW UP! 


Anywhoo... go HERE and read THIS for me if you will. Also, delve through the rest of the site and read the other great pieces I've written and if you really want to read something awesome, read some of the other stories from the ROCK STAR LADIES I write with. Makes my stuff look like a monkey throwing poop at a typewriter! 


Thanks!

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Random Thoughts On A Random Day.



  • My dog is weird. Like licks the cat's butt weird. Like doesn't bark at strangers, but will squeak like a rusty hinge if he hears the least little sound on the outside of the door weird.
  • The cat is just as weird. He spent 30 minutes today making love to a spot on the tile floor. I guess it smelled good.(Yet he won't go near the catnip bubbles we bought.)
  • The cat is also pissed off about the fact that HHH & I put him on Mature formula weight control/hair ball food. He doesn't look any thinner, but he hasn't hocked up a hairball yet AND his cat box smells 5x better.
  • Has your cat ever taken a dump in the middle of the night so heinous that the smell wafts to your bedroom and WAKES YOU UP??? Yeah, that's the reason for the new food.
  • I went skating on Thursday. I took the kids & Eldest's friend and we hit the local skate rink's family night. Oh the floor was so shellaced and smooth. A bit sticky on my knee pads when I did some drops, but still it felt good. It was AWESOME! I made it all the 2 1/2 hours! Knee was a little tricky but till HHH gets insurance again, any medical intervention is now put off indefinitely so might as well skate on that bad boy! Also, I need practice before trying out for Universal.
  • HHH's employer is fighting his Unemployment claim. Yup. They are being dickwads. We are gonna have everything shut down in a week or two and there's nothing we can do about it. They didn't contest anyone else's unemployment, just his. It's bull shit!
  • Oh and their "New Supervisor of Maintenance"?? HHH's replacement?? That guy NEVER SHOWED UP. He called in on the first day saying his kid was sick and never even came to the job. HHH & I are making bets he came to work that Monday, saw what a shit place it had turned into, and left FAST! The ad McKinley put on Craigslist said "Come work at our newest property!" when in fact, this place is 23 years old! It's only new to McKinley because they just bought it a year ago. If the management company cant even be honest in the ad, don't expect them to be honest to you at all. 
  • The poor guy who worked with HHH and is still here has had to make due with a revolving door of loaner guys from other properties and temp guys from the temp service. AND while he is doing this McKinley is still looking for a replacement for HIM! If they had just gotten their panties out of a wad, HHH would still be employed and keeping their tenants happy. By all accounts from our neighbors... no one is happy right now. There are at least 40+ open work orders to have shit fixed in people's apartments. 
  • There is a great place called glassdoor.com that has reviews of companies from the employee perspective. Yeah there are some nutballs on there who you can just tell are trying to bash their former employers, but there are also a lot of truthful sounding descriptions of what people have had happen to them, and if we had known about that site sooner, HHH would have NEVER taken this job. There were several accounts of McKinley that totally matched what happened to him and OMG... we'd have never come here! It's not just property management companies either. Check it out to see if it helps in your job search.
  • Here's the part where I ask you guys to send HHH some good juju. HHH had an amazing interview on Friday with a company in Wesley Chapel and he really wants that job. It's a newer property with great help in the office, a nice location, and a fitness club in the front where I can train to get back into derby. Please, in the name of all things holy and not, send all the good vibes, prayers, juju, and what have you tohelp him land this. After the last one fell through at the last minute(miscomunication between managers), we need this. I wanted to be in a new job by April. Thanks folks!
  • My gratitude will abound.
Catch ya on the flip side!

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Parting Gifts.

Remember this post where I concisely expressed my feelings towards what ever tourist coughed their plague on me? Well, here's the parting gift from said plague. I was finally feeling better by Thursday and did all that running around with the kids, capping it off with the midnight movie with Eldest when THAT happened. I have a giant canker sore that sprouted overnight! I look like I got into a fist fight, or at least like I got stung by a bee. It's icky. I can't talk right, can't eat what I want(acidic food  are a BIG nono.), and I can't kiss my hubby. It. Sucks.

Friday, March 23, 2012

Went to the midnight showing last night. Without getting into it or spoiler-ing it for others, it was a decent movie. The costuming & cinematography were exquisite and Lenny Kravitz was amazing. It did drag in some places, but would pick right back up. The only drawback I saw was going with Eldest to watch it. Since she read the books, she was privy to what was coming and would gasp, hide her eyes, or make "aw" noises 5 seconds before something would happen, so that was almost a spoiler in itself! 
Either or, it was a good movie. We were hoping there was an Easter Egg at the end, but no. 


Now... I need a nap!

Monday, March 19, 2012

God Bless....

..... The person who invented Advil Cold & Sinus Relief! It's the only thing that is working for this shit I caught at Universal last week. I swear, if I die from some funky damn pestilence I'm gonna come back and haunt the bastard who did this to me!! 
I need to get well fast because I signed up for the roller skater auditions for Universal's new parade!!! I missed the last ones because they were on a school day and I had no way to get the kids and go to my audition. THIS time it's on a Saturday, and I'm gonna make that sucker come hell or high water!!! They'll probably tell me to take my old ass home, but I can try right? Plus after the morning audition, I'll join my family in the park for some fun! 
Can't wait!!

Sunday, March 18, 2012

NNNNNNOOOOOOOO!!!!!!


A pox on the rat bastard tourist who breathed their pestilence on me at Universal this weekend, rendering me ill & dying. I hope that upon your return trip to wherever the hell you came from, your airline goes belly up and when you finally get rebooked on a more expensive carrier you are sat between a gum smacking whore and her screaming infant and a close talker with a years worth of travel stories and severe halitosis!

No... I'm not bitter. Not at all.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

And Just Like That....

HHH has a job again. Took the drug test today. They want him to start on Monday.

Life rolls on.

Monday, March 12, 2012

Mardi Gras

I don't just wear single strand beads at Mardi Gras, no.... I have the big, themed out beads for my Mardi Gras parade! These were purchased at Universal a couple years ago and I was happy to see that they weren't still being sold so I had the only one at the park that day! What kind of beads do you all have?

Sunday, March 11, 2012

Who DOES That?

Stuff I saw from being at Universal last Saturday....

  1. Parents are lax at keeping track of their kids. No, really. They are. There were at least 2 to 3 times where we had a young child walking with our tribe because that child's parent wasn't paying attention. And we aren't talking a 9 or 10 year old kid, no, I'm talking a 3 or 4 year old child wandering aimlessly around the theme park. How does this happen now a days? All I can even think of when we are there with my kids is "Ok where are they?" "do we have all the kids with us?" "Where are my kids?" How do these idiots, who should damn well be worried about kidnappings and molestation of their offspring, not keep track of a 3 year old? What the fuck?!?
  2. Deodorant should be mandatory for entrance to a theme park. There should also be an attendant in front of every ride line with an aerosol spray can of deodorant just in case someone's scent becomes "offensive". The close quarters of a ride line coupled with an odoriferous person can make that 15 minute wait seem like F-O-R-E-V-E-R!
  3. No matter how windy, chilly, rainy, crappy the weather is at a theme park, tourists are going to ride all the water rides come hell or high water. They paid God knows how much for a plane ticket, spilled out bucket loads of cash for a hotel and food, then paid $$$ to get in the park so THEY ARE GOING TO RIDE THE DAMN LOG FLUME/RIVER RAPIDS! And don't tell them there's a weather delay due to lightning, noooooo... that will get a 300 pound woman who is pale as a ghost from living in the great white north up in the face of some 20 something kid who is just doing his job. We get it. You only have 5 days here in Orlando to enjoy every little thing, but just remember, Unless it's a hurricane, give it a few minutes and the weather will pass.
  4. This isn't a bad one, but it was funny. During the Big Time Rush concert, while all the little teen girls were screaming and fainting over those ADULT boys on stage, most of the parents were hiding out in one of the restaurants looking like refugees who had come in from a ship wreck! Glad to see that they thought enough to bring their kids, but funny to see them slumped over in booths and at tables looking like death warmed over. LOL!
And there you have it.

Saturday!

Waiting on the Mardi Gras parade.

Watching Big Time Rush!

Hot guys on stilts wearing skimpy costumes!

My baby girl going to her first real concert!
Best day ever, even if it didn't start out ok.

Saturday, March 10, 2012

Angry

What is the point of having a system to make getting child support easier if it doesn't work? Also, if you put on your website that I will receive a payment on 3/9 I should actually receive it on 3/9 so I don't count o it and end up disappointing my children with plans I can't go through with. Thank you State of Florida for making me look like an ass to my kids. It's just what every parent wants.

I'm angry. So very angry.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Mo.

Today you're 13.

I almost lost you 11 years ago. I can't imagine life without you!

You're amazing, inspiring, beautiful. My mini me.

Welcome to your teenage years! Daddy & I love you so much!
Happiest of happy birthdays Mo!

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Bugger.

HHH was let go today. We have been expecting this for a while... ever since the company came in and fired all the front office staff. Luckily HHH has been putting out resume's all over. He had a callback today. Sigh... it never ceases to amaze me that property owners are so quick to blame their staff rather than look to why they are unable to do their jobs. It came down to money here. This property was given almost no money in their budget because half the complex is actually owned by people who bought before the place went to an apartment system. Now they show up wondering why the place doesn't look as wonderful as their properties with $10 million dollar budgets? Oh well.

Bugger. I've got to move again.

Monday, March 5, 2012

Cat On A Leash.

It starts out well. He's excited to be outside, sniffing around an scoping out the ducks...

He likes to check out the bushes to see if other cats have been outside.....

But then it all goes to hell when he realizes, "Holy crap on a cracker, I have a leash on! That's bullshit!"

And it deteriorates into this..... instead of going for a walk, we go for a drag. I guess it's not just for dogs with no arms & no legs. (really old, bad joke.)
Thanks for joining me on "Cat On A Leash". Join me next time for "Dog Playing Football."

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Let There Be Cake!

And there was... with home made buttercream frosting!!
Happy Birthday Buddy!

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Ten.

It never ceases to amaze me that you are turning ten this year. I no longer have any single digit children and while this makes me sad, I am also excited for what is to come for you. Ten is usually a big one. You're a tween now. Not a little kid, but not a teenager with all the angst that goes with it. You are my epic child. My Junior Mint.

You're so smart, so talented. You are so proud when you bring home notices that you made honor roll or student of the month. I can't begin to tell you how proud I am. I will wallpaper my vehicle in good student bumper stickers as long as you bring them home.

And what blows me away the most is you want to be with your mom. You're not a mamma's boy in the least, but you want to spend time with me. You want to adventure with me. You want to have fun with me. Some of my best memories are skating with you because you wanted to. Photo bombing random strangers at Epcot on the rides because we thought it'd be funny. Dancing in the rain because we didn't have an umbrella so what else could we do? I hope that never goes away.

Handsome doesn't begin to describe you. 10 years ago, every nurse in the maternity/newborn unit wanted to hold you and tousle your blonde curls you were so damn cute. Yes, you had curls even when you were born! You are still my handsome man, even if Daddy cut your curls off.

I know 10 is going to be a great year for you. You're trying football. You have tickets to Universal & Disney for the whole year. Adventure is just waiting around the corner. So I say to you, as I do every day before you kiss me and get out of the car at school....
Be EPIC my sweet sweet son. Go out & show the world you can be the most amazing kid ever! Own the day(and year ten) like a boss! And always remember... Tater tots baby. Tater tots.

(Did I mention we speak Meme too? I did say he was EPIC!)

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Am I Un-friendable?

No really, this is a completely serious question. It's one I've had ever since I was a child. Am I un-friendable?

When I was in grade school, I'd have friends every year, but it seemed when someone better came along, those folks were out of there like a shot. My 9th grade best friend wanted to kick my ass in 10th grade because she became best friends with someone else and that girl apparently hated me. I didn't get it. I was nice. I didn't try to obsess over crap outside of the normal, teen stuff. I got good grades and didn't try to cause much trouble. What the heck, right?

Then came college. That's where they tell you everything changes right? But it didn't for me. Yes, I had all these new people to get to know, but really it was the same old, same old. Meet someone, get to know them, have a raging good time for a year, then hit the road Blonde, I found someone better. WTF? I really wish I knew what I was doing! I even had one roommate from my sorority embezzle money from me and our sorority all while smiling and saying what a good friend I was. I guess in a way that has always been my problem. I'm just naive.

After college and my first marriage, I became more closed off to friendship. I had plenty of folks who said they wanted to be my or my family's friend, but really they were just using me for their own devices. Once they got what they needed, I was fucked over without even a second thought. Once I opened my home to a coworker who was supposedly being abused by her husband. She moved in & then took advantage of me, with the final straw being telling me she would pay the electric for me, but instead keeping the money and letting the electric get turned off after moving out while I was at work, leaving a huge mess and ruining my kitchen. Each time it hurt just a little more and I became a little harder inside. I learned that work friends aren't really friends because everyone will throw you under the bus if it means they will get ahead of you. I learned church friends aren't really friends because saying you'll "Pray for us" then ripping us apart behind our backs is all they do. I learned not to EVER trust strangers.

When I joined roller derby, there was a lot of talk about friends you can count on, and friends for life, etc.... Unfortunately, that didn't happen for me. I never had any really close friends there either. When my first league disbanded, I realized just how much no one valued my opinion. I was summarily dismissed as insignificant and of no value to the league. Never had a derby wife. Never had anyone actually give a damn when I stopped showing up because my car was gone, or when I was sick. Sigh... I envy those that had that. I hope they realize how special it is.

So yeah. I don't have any real friends. Oh, I know of folks online. In fact, some of those very folks who helped my family several years ago when we were homeless are dear to my heart, but do I know them? Really... no I don't. I don't know anyone. No one ever had a tweet up for me, or a bloggercon. Heck, the last 2 times I was in Orlando where several folks are that I know online I have tweeted about getting together for drinks and gotten zilch interest. I haven't really been an inspiration for anyone. Now I don't even have derby anymore because I gave my all last year and I can't afford to get the damage fixed, even with insurance. I'm old, I'm used up, and I haven't got a friend in the world to commiserate with.

I'm seriously thinking I'm just one of those un-friendable people. I mean, all those folks didn't value me for some reason, right?

I guess it must be me.

{PS-I'm talking friends IRL folks. :)}