Monday, December 31, 2012

Happy New Year!

From the Blondefabulous Clan:

Blondefabulous #11

Sunday, December 30, 2012

GTFO 2012!

This year sucked. Don't get me wrong, it had it's good points, but on the whole..... IT SUCKED SWEATY DONKEY BALLS! 

Like last year, I will sum up the past annul with the most popular posts on my blog. It's kind of a meter for how I see things from this little corner.

#5- The Gift. Yeah this one was a bit difficult to write with emotions so raw after Sandy Hook, but I wasn't going to back down from something I had committed to when it came to Jr's Christmas gift. He adores his pellet gun. He is shooting at zombie paper targets, not squirrels, or cats, or even his sisters! He is learning gun safety from his dad, who learned gun safety when he was in the Navy and had achieved sniper qualifications. I believe responsible gun owners are better than a scared, unarmed populace. So shoot me.

#4- Things I Can't Believe. A bullet post of different things that made me say WTF?!? in my head that week. Things like Pepsi having to pay out in a lawsuit because they didn't hire people who didn't pass the background check, or Haley Barbour pardoning all those damn criminals at once, or the Kate +8 cruise. Things that made me go hmmmmm.....

#3- ERMAHGERD! Just a photo of a French Bulldog playing in a hose with the caption of "ERMAHGERED! WERTERPERK!"  It was one of the countdown photos I put up right before we left for Disney to celebrate my 40th birthday. Karl LOVES this one!

#2- My Boobs Are Huge. Heh, I know damn good and well pervey asses click over to this post hoping to see my tits, and they just have to be disappointed because it is a post that TALKS about how my chest grew as I started experiencing peri-menopause early in life. Heh heh.... pervs.

AND THE #1 POST OF 2012 IS........


Yes, Consuela is still being clicked on so many many times it's ridiculous! People love the graphic. People love the story about "O meal? No... no o-meal here today. You come back later." Bwah ha ha ha! Classic! 

So there ya go. Not a real best of for 2012, but a damn site better than the "Fashion Flops" or "Best Movie" drivel everyone else is doing! Now get out there and have a Happy New Year!

Friday, December 21, 2012


Last night was Morgan's Christmas Concert. I was excited for her. This was a smaller orchestra and I was hoping she wouldn't get swallowed up like at her old middle school. 

See? Much smaller! They played reasonably well for 7th graders, but I was surprised at the lack of a percussion section and that NO ONE WAS TAPPING THEIR FOOT! When I was in music in school I got yelled at if we didn't have our foot tapping along with the beat, but then again, we also had a percussion section to help us keep the beat.

I was, however, glad to see that the music department did make a small concession to the tragedy in Newton CT. They placed a quote from one of my favorite composers on the back of the program. 

Happy Holidays!

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

The Gift.

This Christmas has been hard. We have close to 0 money to buy the kids anything. Thank GOD for friends. Two of the most amazing angels helped me out. It would have been a bare bones Christmas without their help! The one gift we did have already was a nice pellet gun pistol for my son. It wasn't a cheap plastic one. It was a heavy metal gun that only shoots plastic pellets. It doesn't shoot BB's or bullets of any kind. We got it for him with the only $ we had left from HHH's check after paying for all our bills. It wasn't expensive either. $30 for the gun, pellets, & a package of Zombie targets. (He really likes picking off zombies in COD:BO.) We were excited to give him that gift. It's been wrapped & under the tree since Thursday of last week.

Then Sandy Hook happened.

We still plan on giving Jr. his gift. HHH is ex Navy and had sharp shooter commendations during his time served. He was planning to show Jr. how to shoot, proper gun etiquette, and safe gun handling. It was supposed to be a bonding experience for father & son.  

Don't get me wrong, I feel the gravity of what happened. I can't help but tear up at the news since it is pretty much all Sandy Hook Massacre coverage. I don't think taking away all the guns will help, just like I don't believe that locking up all the mentally ill people will help either. This isn't something we can slap a band aid on and feel better. It's going to take time, heartfelt discussions, and agreement on both sides of the political fence, and we all see where THAT'S been going when it comes to America's Fiscal Cliff! I do believe that responsible gun ownership starts early, with proper education of what guns are for. Note, I am NOT saying we should all own guns. There are most definitely people out there who have no business owning a gun, just like there are people who have no business owning a pair of liquid silver spandex leggings, (cough, cough,...ahem.). We have to be responsible. There have to be background checks. There have to be fingerprints on file. There have to be consequences for improper use of guns.

So, come Christmas morning, Jr is going to open his gifts and hopefully he will be excited to learn a new skill. Heck, shooting is an Olympic sport! Let's not let a primal reaction to a horrific tragedy rule us.

My son will be getting his first gun for Christmas, and I'm ok with that.

Saturday, December 15, 2012


See that up there? That is my cat, Fluffawuffagus. He's been with us going on 8 years now. We got him when my MIL's cat had kittens and he has been ours ever since. He's pampered, probably over fed, and a throw rug most of the time. Last night he escaped the screened porch & out into the night. I was aghast. I just knew that he'd be out there, cold.... uncomfortable.... getting beat up by the local gang of squirrels. I was upset! Then, as I was walking to the laundry room to check my machine I saw him. A ghostly white face in the evening gloom. He meowed pitifully. He was on the other side of 2 different fences. I ran & got HHH and he shimmied over towards him. He was poised to run when I ran to the house, grabbed a can of tuna, and hit the can opener. HHH shooed Fluffy towards a hole in the fence and once he heard that can opener, ZOOM~~~ he was making trax for the house! I grabbed him & poof, my kitty is home!!

Oh man, I hope he enjoys that tune, because he is SSSSSOOOOOOO GROUNDED!

Friday, December 14, 2012


I have no words today.I just don't. I cannot wrap my mind around it or the ass who did it. All I can do is love my kids & let them know they are loved every. single. day. 

Wednesday, December 12, 2012


Write, write, write, write.....

I feel like I've lost my mojo when it comes to writing.

I could write about how I'm feeling so bereft at being abandoned by my derby league. No one wants to hear that.
I could write about almost getting run over 2x a day walking to my son's school. Well, after the first time it seems repetitive.
I could write about how my life hasn't really improved, but then hasn't really gotten worse either. Nah, no one wants to hear about that either.

Basically, there's nothing exciting going on. No fun. No excitement. Not even a dead body find like back in September/October.

Wow. Mediocrity at it's finest right here ladies & gentlemen.

Sunday, December 9, 2012

Oooooo, BURN!

Sunday was not my day. I wasn't able to get to sleep till about 2am. I woke early thanks to dogs who can't seem to hold it. The trains that went by all decided to toot their horns waaaaaay longer than they should have  according to the NTSB section on train safety. When I finally did wake up enough, I had to clean up my kitchen from dinner the night before so I could start breakfast. Pancakes & bacon were on the menu and to keep myself from getting burnt, I bake my bacon in the oven at 350 for 15 to 20 minutes. Makes crispy, tasty bacon. As I was cooking the pancakes the timer for the bacon went off. I flipped a flapjack and reached into the oven for the pan of crispy meat candy and......

I splashed bacon grease on my inner left wrist.


So the inside of my wrist was ON FIRE! I squeaked a screech out & (here's where I don't get human nature) my husband asks "Are you ok?" Why would you ask if I'm ok when you've just heard me scream several obscenities? OF COURSE I'M NOT OK! He gets out of bed and finishes breakfast for me and I go wrap my wrist in a cold pack. After whining about it for a while one of my marvelous roller girl friends suggested I go harvest some of my aloe plant and apply! Genius! I guess I wasn't thinking straight. What can I say, it hurt!

So now, I have a few blisters from my breakfast time adventures and my wrist apparently smells like bacon permanently, but hopefully it won't scar. I guess next time I'll be a little more careful when trying to feed the horde in the morning. Now I have to worry about attracting the neighborhood pooches while walking to school with Junior in the mornings thanks to my new "Bacon Wrist".

Is a permanent scent of bacon a super power?

Friday, December 7, 2012


My kids live in walking distance of their schools. Yep. All of my kids are less than a mile from each of their schools and they walk every day. This makes me both happy & fearful. Happy because being able to walk & talk with friends after school is a rite of passage when you're young and walking is great exercise in our society that is excessively overweight(Not my kids though.), but fearful because the people who possess driver's licenses these days are complete morons. I let the two oldest walk alone because they are wiser and I have drilled into them how to be careful when crossing roads, to always use the crosswalk signales  and to be aware of their surroundings, but with Junior, I walk with him. He's 10 and I just like having the time to talk about safety, school, and stuff in general.

As I was walking back from the school I was almost flattened by a driver who was making a right turn on a red light, totally disregarding me crossing with the Walk Signal.
I was almost flattened.

I'd like to say that this is unusual, that drivers are careful and conscientious, that just crossing the street is a simple affair involving the push of a crosswalk signal button, a light change, and a stroll across the street, but I can't. Most drivers I see lately are in a hurry, distracted, and have tunnel vision. They only see the destination, not the surroundings, surroundings that include pedestrians, bicyclists, and motorcycles. Yesterday in the Tampa Bay area, 3 pedestrians were killed in a 24 hour period. That's horrible! For the week, there have been 7 serious crashes involving pedestrians with 3 of those being fatal! Now, not all of those were at specified crosswalks. A few of them were people not exercising good judgement. There are safety issues that both the drivers and pedestrians need to address, but in my personal situation? I was in a clearly marked crosswalk. I had the "WALK" signal. The traffic light was also in my favor. The woman driving disregarded all of those things and it wasn't till I screamed at her that she noticed me, the crosswalk, and the crossing guards.

Yeah, I was crossing at a guarded crosswalk because it's right next to the school.

It's ridiculous. What if it had been a child the woman almost ran over? At least I'm an adult, who is bigger, faster, and stronger than a little kid. I can just bet you if she had hit me I'd have gotten up on my bloody stumps, dragged her worthless ass out of her window, and beat the shit out of her with my severed appendages! Yeah... this pisses me off just that much!! 

Listen folks. It isn't difficult. Just STOP at the stoplight, look both ways, and if possible, THEN turn. Don't let your hurry kill someone. It will ruin everyone involved's lives.

The life you save may be your own, especially if you hit ME!

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

I Don't Get It?

I mentioned this on Facebook yesterday and I thought it was in need of repeating because it is a sad commentary on human beings in general.

"It may just be me, but the possibility of Syria having Sarin Gas and using it as a weapon against Israel is a more important subject for CNN to be reporting on instead of Princess Kate being pregnant or President Obama dancing the Gangnam Style dance with Psy at the White House. Sigh....."

Come on people! We can't be this fucking shallow. The NAZIS used Sarin gas to exterminate hundreds of thousands of Jews in World War Two!!! This has the potential to become a world involving nightmare, and all I can find on every fucking TV station, online news outlet, and radio station is Hypermesis, Gangnam Style, & lines of succession!! It's shameful.

We're better than a tabloid society.

Monday, December 3, 2012

Dear Toy Makers: Kiss My Butt!

Remember the days of old, where Christmas was about family, friends, & being together? Yeah, me neither. When I was a kid, Christmas was about getting out of school for two plus weeks, hanging out with my friends at the skating rink(we didn't have a mall.), and Gifts! Oh yeah... I was a spoiled brat! I counted every box, bag, & brightly colored package under our tree to see what kind of haul I was getting. Then after Christmas Day I'd arrange the opened gifts back under the tree so if friends came over, they could gush over my booty! I remember asking for stuff like an Atari 2600, Life the board game, and a synthesizer because back in the 80's it was popular to play Axel F to impress your peers.

Fast forward about 25 years. Now I'm married, have kids of my own, and it's time for me to make a "pile" under the tree for my own children. Now that we are in the new millennium the toys differ. Instead of an Atari 2600, mine are asking for a Wii U. Instead of the board game, they want new games for the XBox. Instead of a synthesizer they want a tablet to play on & listen to music. It's crazy. I asked them what other, off beat kinds of gifts they'd want and to my horror my two youngest asked for a Cotton Candy Machine! At first I thought they were pulling my leg, but I looked it up on line & lo and behold Cra-z-art makes a small, at home cotton candy maker marketed to kids!!! WTF?!? My two are Type 1 Diabetic!! They do not need a cotton candy machine! My kitchen doesn't need to be covered in candy floss sugar either. Nor do they need their next choice, which was a 7-11 Slurpee Maker! OMG, this one made a list of the worst toys for 2012 holiday season by the Campaign for a Commercial Free Childhood group! It says to use your favorite juice or soda as a flavoring, but we all know mom & dad are gonna go out an get the syrup they sell at all the big box stores. Empty calories? Check. Loads of sugar? Check. On my shit list? DOUBLE CHECK!!! Don't we have a childhood obesity epidemic going on in this country?? Last I checked, we have an everyone  in America obesity epidemic!

So in conclusion,  Dear toy makers, Kindly fuck off. Today's kids do not need extra slurpees at home. They do not need to make their own cotton candy and ruin my kitchen in the process. Stop trying to fatten them up & kill them with sugar. I'll not buy my kids any of that hoo haa. 

Now... where's my Frogger game cassette??