Friday, November 16, 2012

Things To Eat In Place Of Twinkies.

So it was announced that the food giant Hostess was going to shut it's door and sell off all it's assets. Seems a strike by it's workers has put the company in desperate financial straights. So in memory of some folks' favorite snack cakes, I offer a list of things you can replace them with.

  1. Little Debbie Snack Cakes. Come on.... these are the superior snack cakes anyway, so why the hell aren't you stuffing your pie hole with  boxes upon boxes of Swiss Cake Rolls?!? What?? You prefer those Hostess cupcakes with the squiggle of white icing?? TOO BAD BITCHES!!!
  2. Entenmann's. Little individually wrapped muffins? Check. Boxes of donuts? Check, Cholesterol shooting through the roof? CHECK! All I know is, if someone comes for my all butter French Crumb Cake, shit's gonna get REAL!
  3. Merita Sweet 16 Doughnuts. Yes yes... I know that Merita sold this brand to Hostess, but I am hoping that in this close down debacle Merita will reacquire the brand and start producing them again. They were an integral part of all my pregnancy cravings and by GOD! They cannot disappear from this earth.
  4.  Fruits & Veggies. Because, you know..... THEY'RE HEALTHY!!!

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