How the hell did this happen?!? When did 16 just sneak up on me like a thief in the night?
I'm not old enough to have a 16 year old kid. I'M NOT, I SAID!!!
Her sense of humor is wry. Her wit is sharp. Her loyalty steadfast.
On this, her 16th birthday, one of the best gifts I can offer her is wisdom. Wisdom about life, philosophy, and the best time of day to purchase fresh bread.
So here's where you people come in. What wisdom would you give a freshly minted teenager? Don't believe the hype? Old Coke beats New Coke? Batman is actually Billionaire playboy Bruce Wayne??
I know the first thing I'd tell her is DON'T JUMP OUT OF MOVING GOLF CARTS, but I think we already covered that last summer.
So leave my daughter your Wisdom for 16 year olds.
I love you baby! You are gonna be the best 16 year old ever! The word is your oyster! Shuck that bitch!!