Saturday, December 31, 2011

2012


  • According to the Mayans, the world is gonna end this year.
  • According to the Environmentalists, we are going to do irrevocable damage to the planet that will bring about the end of the world this year.
  • According to the religious nut jobs, gay people are gonna get the right to marry each other and the world is gonna end this year.
  • According to the political parties, everyone running for president is a moron and a danger to our country and way of life and if they(any of them) get elected, the world is gonna end this year!
  • According to the weather monitors, all the recent storms and droughts, and other weather events are a culmination of human interference and are going to make the world end this year.
So many folks spouting off so many whack a doodle theories about the world ending in 2012, it seems everything is gonna be the end of the world this year. It's ridiculous!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
(Where's my rocket ship off this crazy rock?)

Friday, December 30, 2011

HEY YOU!!!

Yeah! You wit da face!!! Yeah... you need to go here and read this. It's the next article I wrote for Buy-Her and it's about two totally amazing roller girls who are also crafty chicks as well.

DOO EET!

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Tops!


I, like many others, am posting an end of the year list. And no, I won't bore you with what movies I thought were awesome, or what TV shows I watched during the 2011. No one really cares about my opinion on that kind of stuff. What I'm gonna post is my top blog posts for 2011! Yes... here are the top 5 posts for the year!

  • Coming in 5th at 165 page views is "Changing & Rearranging". I hammered that one out back in January about us rearranging the living room to have more space and less clutter. Had I known HHH was just going to get a new job a few months later, I'd have just said screw it and boxed everything up for the eventual move! Ah, to have ESP about shit like that would be priceless!!!
  • Coming in next at 191 page views is "BOING" which was about when I took the kids to an indoor trampoline center. It was a blast! There have since been larger, more interactive places that have opened since our visit to Boing, but the kids still ask to go again over and over! It's a blast and a kick in your cardio's ass!!
  • At good old number 3 we have "Fuck Yeah, Roller Derby Otter", a delightful tumblr blog by roller girls that got 307 page views. Think Lol Cats, but with an otter saying stuff like, "Endurance Practice? CALL 911!" Unfortunately, this blog blew up to be bigger than it's owners could handle and 3 months after it started, it stopped putting up new Otter Memes. I haz a sad now!
  • In the number two spot with 914 views is a blast from the past with, "My Boobs Are HUGE!" That one is from 2008 proving that if people THINK they are gonna see your tits for free, they will click and click and click! Ha ha, too bad for them I was just TALKING about my boobs, not showing them. Pervs!!
  • And finally, in the top spot for this years 2011 Blondefabulocity Post of the year is...... "CONSUELA"!!!!! I wrote Consuela on January 20th, 2011 and in the past year it has gotten 6010 page views and it just keeps on rising! This was a post I put up after going to a McD's drive through and seeing the Family Guy character's doppelganger working the window. This woman looked like Consuela, spoke like Consuela... heck even the kids swore she was Consuela!! OMG! Now she is the most read post EVER on my blog!! My hat tips to Seth Macfarlane for inventing such a funny cartoon maid!

So there you have it! My top 5 posts of 2011! Yeah yeah.... not as much fun as an E! Top 10 Reality TV Fails countdown, but hey..... It works for me! What were your fave posts this year?

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Gives Me Nightmares!!!

HHH says there are a few folks in this complex who are bordering on being hoarders. He'd know, since he's the maintenance man and has to go into people's condos to fix stuff. The fire department and neighbors said they couldn't get IN the condo to save the man. There was too much shit blocking every damn way in or out of the place!! I shudder that this is going to happen here. Where's that "Hoarders" show when you need it???

North Carolina Hoarder Dies In House Fire.

Link

CHARLOTTE, NC (CBS) -- Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police say 55-year-old Thomas Burgess was trapped inside of his apartment on Queens Road Monday night because he was a hoarder. Police said Burgess had so many belongings that it appears he couldn't reach the door because items were blocking the path.

Fire investigators said many of those things were combustible and helped the fire spread. Firefighters were able to get everyone else in the complex out safely. One of those neighbors says he did all he could to get to Burgess.

Neighbor Rob Jorgeson says, "...I kicked the door as hard as I could just to get more attention, and to get it open. I yelled in there for a few yells, I don't know how many exactly, I didn't get any attention..."

Investigators say it appears the fire was caused by an electrical problem. Several other people in the complex say they had to stay elsewhere last night

Monday, December 26, 2011

Snow Birds

Photo found here.

And this time I don't mean the old folks kind! Our pond behind our house had a pair of these guys swimming around in it. This is the Hooded Merganser. It is a migratory, diving duck that settles in the Great Lakes areas, but migrates south for the winter. They can actually be found from Alaska to Florida! There was a mated pair diving around for food on the pond!

Those are the kind of snow birds I can handle!!!

Friday, December 23, 2011

Happy Chanukah



For all of my Jewish friends who are winding down their Chanukah celebrations..... this is for you! I hope your season was joyous!

Thursday, December 22, 2011

He's Everywhere! He's Everywhere!



No, I'm not talking about Anderson Cooper or Ryan Seacrest, I mean Santa Claus! Here's my #5, "Get in the spirit" offering to you folks. I'm might actually be getting there. Maybe not, but close.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Zat You?



Here's my #4 way to try and get in the holiday spirit! Just slip my check for a million $$$ under the door, eh?

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

TAKE COVER!




Aaaaaaand here is #3 way I'm trying to get in the spirit for the holidays. Who says "holiday" more than Weird Al? NO ONE< THAT'S WHO!!! Enjoy!

Monday, December 19, 2011

SILENCE!



OK, to get me in the holiday spirit, here's offering #2..... Jingle Bombs! NSFW or kids. (Some bad language.)

Ho, ho, hooooooo what the fuck! I have to go Christmas shopping still!

AUGH!!!

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Trying To Get In The Spirit.




Since it is the week before Christmas, and I was supposed to be in Orlando today with my family to celebrateand thanks to HHH's shitty asshole workplace we are not, I'm trying anything and everything to get in the spirit of Christmas. First stop: Hollis, Queens.

Brekkies!!!!


What did you guys have?

Friday, December 16, 2011

Weird!


Today as I was motoring about town I saw....

  • As I was on my way back from the kids new pediatrician, We passed by a small driveway to no where that had two roadside vendors set up. One was selling seafood(YUCK!), and the other selling BBQ and firewood. The seafood guy didn't look like he was having any luck, but the BBQ guy had a woman out front waving to the passing cars as she walked a piglet on a leash. I SHIT YOU NOT! They were advertising BBQ by walking a tiny baby pig on a leash!(About the same size as the one in the photo above.) What is the world coming too?? And when they walked past the smoker did the piglet think to himself, "MOM?!?"


  • Then, as I was going to pick up Mo, I saw a 1987 Yugo painted like the General Lee from the Dukes of Hazard! OMG!! I tried hard to get a photo, but I was too far back in the line at the stop sign to get a shot! I Twittered about it and most folks joked that they couldn't believe there was a Yugo still working! So what was more surprising... the fact that it was an actually a running Yugo, or that it was painted to look like one of America's most well known TV vehicle icon's?

So yeah... that was my Friday. Mostly uneventful with two really weird instances shoved in it. How was yours then?

Dead Cat.



Fluffy would be a kitty in deep, deep doo doo.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Ireland!!!


I have to express my distaste for teachers who make a large project due the week before a major holiday. WTF are they thinking?? I mean, these kids (elem.) are already celebrating the week with differently themed days, riling them up and juicing their excitement to near manic levels! Why, why, WHY would you have your kids complete a major, grade dependent project at this time? And not only that, but the teacher also made food a 40% part of the grade! (The subject is "Holidays Around The World") Monday saw a note saying each child had to make a food specific of their assigned country to present to the class on Friday. I call bullshit! They so could have done this last week!I cannot wait till this school year is over so we can be done with this woman! Sheesh.

At least my cookies are awesome!

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Oh Look.....


I found @bubblewench in e-card form! I love it when I find things IRL that remind me of my friends. I especially love it when I am able to show said friends the item in question and they love it as well! I can practically hear the smile in their tweets! :)

Love you Shannon!

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Yup.


This is how I feel about all that FB crap people have put up via a new annoying app saying what they are reading right now on Yahoo, a newspaper feed, etc etc etc....

I DON'T CARE!!!!

And I will spend the time to go look it up rather than let another useless app access my info. Don't be a sheeple.

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Remember This?


The note reads... "Can I kiss you next Friday? Yes, No, Maybe. My 12 y/o got that from the boy at her school. This boy gave her a gift last Friday, which I had her write a thank you note for. This is also the boy she saved from the bully. Heroine worship? True love? Who knows, but the sweetness in that small scrap of paper is wistfully poignant.

And it reminded me of my childhood. How about you? Check yes, no, or maybe!

Friday, December 9, 2011

List.


This is Mo's Christmas List. 3, 4, and 5 are why I love this child so and also why she is my Mini-Me!

Thursday, December 8, 2011

I'm Just Sayin'....


If my husband (or any other man, for that matter) could do this, there'd be no more need for us ladies. Well, except to cook. HHH keeps me around to cook for him!

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

BOOM!

  • Got our new X-Box tonight. Surprised the hell out of the kids. We were feeling guilty about not being able to go to Universal for Christmas now so we went and got it early. We got the MW3 version that came with 2 controllers and we bought a Kinect so we could play more games. They are extremely excited.
  • And yes, I did say Christmas at Universal was cancelled. Even though HHH requested Christmas week off 2 months ago, we made our reservations, and had our plans in place, the upper management that only swings by every once a week decided they didn't want only one guy working that week. Sigh....
  • Now I have to decorate for Christmas.
  • We got a smaller tree. Pre lit, fake, and green. I lobbied for a pink tree but was shot down.
  • Eldest is more excited to play MW3 than any of the other games we bought. This disturbs me a little.
  • Jr. wanted Wipeout: The Game. I see many painful evenings of fun in the future.
  • As you were people.

Monday, December 5, 2011

What...... The Hell!???!


I was watching TV yesterday, cuddling my baby boy(who is fine now, thanks to everyone who Twittered encouragement for him!) when I saw a commercial for a game called Doggie Doo. Yup. Doggie Doo. The premise behind this game is, uh.... is..... uh..... Oh there's no way to make this sound any better, but basically you feed the dog these playdough "treats", then you roll a special die that tells you how many times you squeeze the dog leash which moves the "treats" down the dog's intestines. If the dog poops during your turn at the leash, you clean it up with your game shovel. Who ever gets 3 poops first wins! Fun right?? Oh, the dog farts loudly as well.

Oh my GAWD!! Is this what we've come to to entertain our children?? A pooping dog?? When I was a child I didn't even like the pooping dolls. If my parents had gotten me a crapping dog game I'd have been offended!! Worse than offended. And not only would I have been offended, but our three REAL dogs would have been offended because why play the game when I had three of the real things tap dancing at the door for me to clean up after, right??

My only other thought on this is that, since the game appears to have originated in Europe, perhaps it is actually a subversive tool to teach folks over there (who historically haven't really picked up after their animals) to clean up after their pets! Stranger things have happened.

So now to you guys.... Pooping Dog Game.... would you buy it for your kids?

You Know It's Monday When....


... Your kid wakes you up with, "Mom, I can't stop throwing up."

Friday, December 2, 2011

Gee Thanks.


I just love it when, at this time of year, companies decide to be raging assholes. Assholes like cancelling funding for an office party. Assholes like cancelling bonuses for the quarter and not bothering to tell anyone when folks were expecting it and had made plans to use it for Thanksgiving/Christmas. Assholes like cutting funding for required neighborhood monthly parties so the employees have to spend their own $$ to do it so they don't get in trouble. Assholes like approving time off during Christmas, then turning around and raising hell 2 months later about not wanting there to be only 1 guy working that week.

I call BULLSHIT!

(Especially when I already have a family vacay to Orlando planned!"

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Ho.


Hi there. Seeing as how it has FINALLY turned over to December, I am finally going to put out the call for Christmas Cards. Would you like a card from me? Do you even care? Just send me an email to nicolewetherington1972@yahoo.com and sometime during this holiday season I'll shoot one out to you! Wanna send me one back? Go for it! Do I care that you celebrate something other than Christmas?? Nope! Sure don't! I'd love you to wish me a Happy Chanukah, Happy Kwanza, Merry Festivus, etc, etc, etc..... ( I show the kids cards we receive and teach them about other religions & cultures! )

So, send those addys on, especially if you have done it before and had a change of address in the last year or two!
Ho ho ho!