Monday, August 29, 2011

Bottoms Up.

I saw this at Finger Candy and thought it might be fun to make my own list of who I'd like to see at a bar and grab a drink with.....

  1. Neil Patrick Harris- How awesome is he? TOTALLY!! He was Doogie Howser MD, he's Barney on HIMYM, and OMG he can sing, dance, act and, and, and , and.... the list goes on and on! His Twitter is hilarious too! Who wouldn't like to have a drink with NPH??
  2. Hugh Hefner- Yeah, I'm probably going to take a hit from all the feminists for this one, but come on! Have you ever really thought about it? The man helped change America's sexual landscape, bringing us out of our darkened bedrooms to enjoy ourselves in the light! The documentaries that have come out in 2010 & 2011 really bring to life his body of accomplishments. Plus, the man knows how to throw a killer party.
  3. James Roday & Dule' Hill- This one is a twofer, mostly because if I had my druthers, I'd like to throw back a couple with these guys at the same time. They play Shawn Spencer and Burton "Gus" Guster on the USA TV show "Psych" and I love that show. The way they play off each others characters is amazing! The timing, the facial expressions, the laughs.... and you just know they are like that off the camera too! (Mainly because I follow Dule' on Twitter and his wit shows there as well!) I probably wouldn't stop laughing for days!
  4. Mel Brooks- Some of the funniest movies I have ever seen have been directed by this man. Hell, he even starred in almost all of them, from "Blazing Saddles" to "Robinhood: Men In Tights". My two favorites have to be the afore mentioned "Blazing Saddles" and "Spaceballs". My friends and I in high school could quote that movie at the drop of a hat! It was our "Monty Python and the Holy Grail". The man has a direct line to my funny bone!! Funny, she doesn't look Druish.
  5. Gene Simmons-This is another one that will get me harshed on, but here goes.... The man is a rock GOD! And if that wasn't a good enough reason, he has marketed his band and image and diversified his holdings and is a marketing genius! Unlike most rock and rollers, who are broke, Gene has holdings to keep him and his in comfort for years, and now that he has seemed to "settle down" so to speak, I think he's even cooler!
  6. Emily Deschanel- It's Bones dude!!! How awesome is that?? Yeah, yeah, I know she isn't really Bones, but the production on that show has to be soooooo cool! All the ewwie gooey crud with the fake dead bodies and the gross crap, it's gotta be awesome! Plus, she gets to work with the dreamy David Boreanaz.... tee hee!
  7. Wayne Newton- Because, you know...... it's WAYNE FRICKIN' NEWTON!!! Danke schoen!
  8. Berkeley Breathed- This guy...... I almost have no words. His comedic genius and acerbic wit in his Bloom County comic strip was just...... see? I can't describe it! His characters came to life on the newsprint, weaving the hilarious with the tragic, the idiocy with the tender, and the sarcastic with the gullible. Back when I advocated the purchase of dead trees daily, I went straight for the funnies and poured over that days dose of not so politically correct goodness. Would he have Opus lampoon Michael Jackson? Ronald Regan? Mary Lou Retton?? It was amazing. Alas, he ended Bloom County in 1989, saying, "A good comic strip is no more eternal than a ripe melon. The ugly truth is that in most cases, comics age less gracefully than their creators." Well said.
And that's all I got. I was trying for 10 on this list, but really, when it comes down to sharing a drink and actually talking to someone famous, I want it to be a meaningful convo, not mindless drivel. There are very few people I want to actually want to meet, but then I have had many brushes with celebrity, (JT, Samuel Jackson, Priscilla Presley, Liza....), so just any everyday pretty person will not do.

And so the question is..... what famous someones would YOU want to have a drink with??

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Next Gen.

I am privileged enough to be able to work with the Junior Roller Derby here, the Bradenton Derby Brats. I have found that my kids like having me around when they skate and I warm up with them, but when it's time for the meat and potatoes of derby to be taught, I leave it to the coaches and I get to help out with the betties. Those are the newbies who come to try their hand at derby. This is a job that rewards itself in smiles. We are always encouraging, never negative and we encourage the kids to keep trying, no matter what. The smiles above make it so worth the fact that once practice is done for them, I have two more hours of skating with the big kids, ie: the adult league!

But really, who could resist skating with these kids?

Friday, August 26, 2011


A realization just hit me as I was in the car yesterday... I'm going to be in the car ALOT this year. Eldest goes to school & needs to arrive at 7, then Jr. needs to arrive at his school between 7:30am and 8, and then Mo has to be at school by 8:45am so that when I'm finished, I get home at 9am and can start getting the house in order and doing my errands. After taking some time to make HHH breakfast & lunch I then need to get back in the car at 1:35pm so I can get in line at the ES by 1:45pm so I don't get stuck waiting in the street for his 2:15pm release time. After I get him in the car, it's off to pick up Eldest and one of her friends from the HS(going through 3 different school zones) and take first the friend home, then my two back to our house. An hour later, I am back in the car for the last time for the day at 4:30pm to go pick up Mo from middle school. After all that..... it's time to start dinner, check homework, clean up after everyone, get their insulin after dinner, and get everyone ready for bed. Sigh...

And I thought working in an office would keep me hopping.... no, being a mom has me jumping through hoops!! Hats off to you ladies who do both. I did that for a year and was at my wit's end!


One should never tweet this the night before.....

"Why yes.... I do Have a tall pilsner glass filled to the top with wine. What of it?"

When one is expected to sound coherent and intelligent about junior roller derby in a phone interview at 10:30am THE NEXT MORNING!!!!!

OOPS! :-)

UPDATE: Waited till 10:45am before calling the interviewer. She said she forgot we had an interview and rescheduled for Monday. Let the hangover commence!

Wednesday, August 24, 2011


Everyone is in school! It only took me threatening hellfire for the middle school to let us in, but we got there. Even with speaking to the principal on Tuesday and being assured we could just breeze in they STILL tried to say we couldn't register because we didn't have Morgan's records in hand. Once I told them I know that Florida gives you 30 days grace period to request school records from a previous Florida school they shut up and started requesting the records from Mo's old school. Jeeze.... just do your frickin' job! Quit hassling us already.
Sure enough, Tuttle came through for us and faxed over all Mo's records right away. Her Birth Certificate, her shot records, her FCATS... everything. When the Guidance secretary expressed surprise at this, I just shook my head and thought about how many times I tried to tell them this and other things, but they refused to listen. Refused to listen and then acted ugly and rude. Morgan whispered to me, "Mom... those ladies are acting like bullies. Aren't we not supposed to bully people?" I said yes, people aren't supposed to be bullies, but they sometimes are when they don't use their better judgement.

Great lesson there ladies!

PS- Met the guidance counselor Mo will have all through middle school. A rotund little, middle aged man with a pleasant face. My question to you all is.....

Is it creepy or weirdly apropos that his name was Mr. Feely??

Tuesday, August 23, 2011


Tried to reason with Burns Middle again Tuesday. We tried to get a new DL for HHH, but the state of Florida did not like our lease or our car insurance papers. Apparently it has to be worded just so, and if your management firm words it any differently, you are shit out of luck. So we went back to the house to get online and see if my DL HHH had mailed out to us was processed yet. We couldn't find that so I then called the Middle School to leave a message with the guidance office. I basically said that if I couldn't use what I had (lease & utility bill from the company) we would be screwed until I could get a copy of my 1st marriage license from 1994 to prove to the State I'm not a terrorist! That would put my daughter's education back 4-6 weeks while waiting on it to be mailed, and did they think that was a good idea?? I finally got a call back from THE GUIDANCE SECRETARY! Yeah, not even the actual guidance counselor for 6th grade. In a haughty tone the woman said I could bring what I have and if it didn't meet their standards I'd have to get what they want or be fucked over. (She didn't actually say "fucked over", but I could hear the sarcasm DRIPPING from her tone!) I ask to speak to someone higher up, and she said all the AP's were at lunch, but I could leave a message and someone would eventually get back to me. I left the same message as before and got angry.

This is my daughter's education for Christ's sake!

So I looked up the actual number for the Hillsborough County Schools and called that. I got a lovely woman who said she was in charge of all the schools in our area, and listened as I told her the entire tale, how we had been misinformed about Mulrennan MS being our school and then got redirected to Burns, only to have the people at Burns treat us so terribly. I mentioned that the AP who refused to help us called me stupid and implied I was going to be in trouble for having an illegal DL without a correct address on it. Then I imparted our situation to the woman at the other end of the line and FINALLY.... someone listened! Someone didn't just assume I was trying to pull a fast one and register in a school outside of our service area. She apologized to me for my horrible treatment and promised to get my complaint to the right people immediately.

2 hours later I get a phone call.

It is the principal of Burns Middle School. She asks me what my difficulty was and I repeat the whole shebang over again and explain our dealy-o with the company picking up the tab for our rent and utility so it really isn't in our names. Then I go into the whole 4-6 weeks to get the old marriage license and she sees my problem. I told her when I had tried to explain the same things to the AP and the other ladies in the Guidance office last week, I was told too bad, so sad, you're just shit out of luck if you can't do it our way and we don't care why you can't!! I guess it pays to go over people's head! So anywhoo, the principal asked for the name & number of HHH's boss to pre-qualify the paperwork I was going to bring them and all we have to do is waltz in the door and fill out Morgan's papers!

I can't believe it took me calling up the tip top of the Hillsborough County School System for me to get someone to listen to me! I was belittled, berated, and treated so poorly, I almost don't want to go, but I want to see the looks on those bitches faces when I walk in on Wednesday morning.

I'll try not to be too smug! :)

Monday, August 22, 2011

Two Down...

Got Mr. Man, Jr., all registered for school on Monday. After the treatment I received on Friday at Burns Middle School when trying to register Mo, I wasn't sure what to expect.

We got there easy enough. The school is right down the road from us. I walk up to the office with Jr and we ask at the desk if we can get him registered. The lovely woman behind the desk say sure, what's your address and I rattle it off. She gives me the packet to fill out and I inquire as to the whereabouts of their nurse. I brought copes of all of Jr's medicals from last year and we need to give them to the clinic for reference purposes. As I'm filling in line after line after line, the Roaming Nurse comes over to talk to me. We chat about how Jr's diabetes runs and it is just wonderful to know someone who cares deeply for the health of children will be taking care of my boy! I really miss Miss Desiree from Tuttle! She took care of my two for 3 years and was the BEST! I have a good feeling thought, that Jr. is in good hands!

I went to hand back the packet of registration papers and realize I forgot the lease and utility bill! CRAP! I was so worried about remembering Jr's last report card and medicals, I totally blanked on getting that stack of papers before heading out the door! The lady says it's ok and just bring them back later. Jr. and I jump back in the van and run home to grab the lease. I bring it right back and the woman says she wouldn't have hassled me for it! Oh mai GAWD! How nice are they?? I still showed it to her, and the utility bill too! So Mr. Man is all ready to start Tuesday(today)! He is way too excited too! Oh.... and the best thing?

The mascot of his new school is a GATOR!!!!!

Now, the fight to get Mo registered begins.......

First Week.

Well, this is the first week of the new school year. My kids start on Tuesday. I'm going to try again today to get my younger two registered. I'm going to see if I can get Jr. in his school. Perhaps the administrators won't be as rude there as they were at Burns Middle School. All I can do is try, eh?
It's looking like we will be able to get up at 6am this year, which is nice after a year of 4:30 & 5am wake ups. I understand people wanting to get the day going, but waking my kids up before the sunrise puts strain on their systems. Eldest's school starts first at 7:30am, and Mo's school apparently starts at 9am. I'll find out when Jr.'s starts today.
We finished up the school shopping yesterday as well. Last thing to get was more pants for Eldest. She is the only one with uniforms this year and seeing as how she is probably going to sprout to 6 feet tall, she needed pants that actually go down to her feet! (The Irkel look just never made it into style!) I gave her the choice of using my money and going to Wall to Wall Mart, or using her money and taking her to Plato's Closet. She chose the latter of the two. Good LORD! That store was a madhouse! One could hardly move around it was so packed in there. Eldest finally found two pairs of pants that were nice, a khaki pair and a pair of jeans, and we left before someone started a fist fight over the last Bebe shirt in the joint! I need to wear my pads and helmet next time we head over there!
Oh, and to make the first week of school exciting.... we are expecting Hurricane Irene to make her way over here about Friday!! Heh, I tweeted yesterday, "We don't have snow days, we have hurricane days here in the south!" What can we say.... it's a Florida thing!

How does YOUR first week of school look?

Saturday, August 20, 2011


Today was better. Got my ass out of bed at the ass crack of dawn, dragged the kids out of bed as well and took our sorry butts down to roller derby practice. It helped. It really helped. What didn't help was my left hamstring deciding to tweak about 1 hour into the adult practice. We were doing endurance too, which made for a real pain in the ass!(Literally!!)
So I would jump in and skate the endurance drill till my leg would scream at me, then drop off to the side, stretch it out, ice it, and then as soon as it laid off, jump right back in! It was shitty, but I wasn't gonna pussy out after having been gone for two weeks! When we started doing a hitting drill, I really let go and ended up putting both my team mates on their asses!(One of them really hard too!)

Things I figured out.....
  1. I need new toe stops.
  2. I need to NEVER miss another 2 weeks if at all possible.
  3. I need to start running again. Swimming isn't cutting it.
So, there ya have it!Have a great Sunday kids!!!

Friday, August 19, 2011

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot!

I tried to register my middle daughter, Mo for middle school Friday. It was the worst day of my life.

  1. Went to Mulrennan Middle School. We went there because the Apartment community listed them as the school servicing this area. Unfortunately for us, that was incorrect. We actually have to go to Burns Middle School. It would have been nice if they had told us this yesterday when we tried to attend Mulrennan open house. We basically wasted a day.
  2. We drove over to Burns Middle School. The front of the school is torn up because the county is apparently trying to put in new sidewalks and couldn't accomplish this over the summer. I look for a parking lot and there are 4 spaces for visitor parking in front of the school. Said spaces are being hogged up by Verizon Fios super trucks.
  3. Drove around the back of the school and parked in faculty parking. Then had to hike to the office. It was a looooooong hike.
  4. Get to the office and find out they are only registering students till 12pm. I sign in. I have all my paperwork filled out from yesterday so I figured a smooth ride. Guidance secretary says I have to have a utility bill in my name. We don't have that because our apartment, utilities, and lease are part of HHH's compensation package. It is in the apartment community's name.
  5. Guidance secretary then calls out a 6th grade Assistant Principal to tell me not only do I need a utility bill, I also have to have my drivers license in my addy as well or she will refuse to register my child! Oh and I am illegally harboring an incorrect license so that is just stupid right there along with waiting to register till now.(I always register at open house! This county must just be fucking pricks!)
  6. I am sent on my way back to my car with nary a wave, but them refusing to admit my child even though I have my lease stating our address. All the other school wanted was the current lease. Only this school is requiring all this extra information. Just. This. One. School. On the way back to the parking lot, Mo got stung by a wasp. Yeah, REAL nice school ya got there.
  7. I go home, fuming and really wanting to punch that cocknobbling bitch from Burns MS in the cunt for calling me stupid. HHH tells me I can acquire a retrofitted DL by getting a copy of my Birth Cert. and a shit load of other papers and going to the nearest Tax Collector's office. I drag Eldest with me.
  8. Birth Certificate is acquired easily enough for $14.
  9. Go to Tax Collectors office and am given the number G756. Eldest & I sit down.
  10. We wait.
  11. We keep waiting.
  12. We wait 2 hours.
  13. Finally G756 is called and I scream BINGO at the top of my lungs as I run to the window indicated on the electronic tote board. Eldest pretends not to know me.
  14. I get told that I have to have a copy of my marriage certificate. I say I have that. Lady says NO> You need the certificate from your first marriage to show how you went from your maiden name, to your name before you married husband #2. SO basically I waited 2 hours for nothing. Try to show clerk pre-second marriage DL that had other name on it. No dice.
  15. Get really pissed off.
  16. Leave before creating a scene.
  17. Get home and vent to loving family who knows I can't stand people calling me stupid and making me feel inferior to their paperwork rules and shit.
  18. See HHH on the computer. He is getting me a new license. I 7 to 10 days it will be mailed to this address. FUCK YOU HILLSBOROUGH COUNTY DMV!
So now HHH has to take Monday off of work to go get his license renewed at this address so we can register the other two kids. He doesn't have name changes to explain so he will probably breeze right through. I'm still of a bent that this fucking school can't just arbitrarily ask for more ID than any other school in the district. It's stupid. So I'm just going to go to bed and forget Friday ever happened!
I am a tax paying, American citizen. I was treated like total crap today by both the school system and then the government! Why is this OK again???

How about you guys? How has the good ol'USA screwed you all lately?

Thursday, August 18, 2011


Went to go register Mo for middle school yesterday. After following the GPS to Mulrennan MS we get there and head to the cafeteria. Once there we are then redirected to the Guidance office where we learn you can't "register" during open house. Really? Not allowed to register At Open House?? How the fuck does that make sense??? I dunno. So we get the registration papers and call it a day.
Once home, I trade Mo for Eldest and it's back in the car and off to pick up Eldest's schedule for the year. e stood in line, got her schedule and lo and behold it's a generic one. Three of the classes she has are things she took in Middle school! Yay for gifted classes. We ask at the front desk about possibly trading up to higher level courses, and are told the first week will see a lot of schedule juggling. OK, we can wait.
Then on the way back home from THAT we get stuck in traffic from the little gem up above in the photo. A 6 car wreck that was brought on by a freaking monsoon that was washing every thing away as we were driving up to Eldest's school in the first place! Sigh... I guess if you want instant driving morons, just add water!
Today I get to try all of this again With Junior at his Open House.

Fun fun!

Tuesday, August 16, 2011


I am beyond frustrated! You guys have probably been following along with the trials and travails of the big Dodge truck we bought back in January, so some of you have an inkling of what's going on. For those of you who don't, my husband and I went looking for a car this winter and he took a shine to a Dodge Quad Cab at a car lot in Sarasota. At first we were told it had problems and it wasn't for sale so we looked at other vehicles on the lot and really didn't see anything we liked. We left saying we'd keep in touch, but that we were going to other places and actively looking for a vehicle. A week later, the same car lot called us and said, "The truck is fine, would you like to come check it out?". That should have been the first warning.
We go over and test drive the truck. It was dirty inside, the dash is cracked, and the AC didn't work, also the heater core may be what the main problem with the AC. The fat bald man who was trying to sell us on it said that before we would take possession of it it would be cleaned, the dash would be fixed, and the AC would be fixed as well. The dollar signs in the guy's eyes should have been warning sign #2.
We gave it two weeks for them to fix all the things Baldy said would get fixed before dropping the down payment off. We get to the car lot and first thing they say, "My audio guy cracked the dash trying to put in a working radio. We'll just take that off the list price for ya!" I guess they had forgotten about us test driving the truck two weeks earlier and seeing the dash already cracked. Baldy must not have told them we already knew about it, so now we know they are willing to lie to us to make the sale. THAT should have been strike three and we should have been out the door! Nope. I knew HHH really wanted the truck.

I should say right now, LISTEN TO YOUR GUT! ALWAYS!

So we sign on the dotted line and drive away. That's when the problems began in earnest! First the AC died on us after 2 days. I took it back to the dealer and the Shop Guy says "Oh, the heater core is bad." I mentioned that when we had test driven the vehicle and mentioned that the heater core might be bad and the shop guy said, "Oh, no one mentioned that to me!" In fact, according to shop guy, they didn't do ANYTHING to the truck at all besides charging the AC with freon. We ended up having to go back not once but 4 times for the AC. It still isn't fixed to this day!!
In all, we have had nothing but problems with that truck. The AC was one problem. Then there was the ball joints that we found out about when we took it to have the oil changed the day after picking it up. (No, the dealer didn't even change the oil before unloading it on us.) Then there was the exhaust system throwing the truck into 2nd gear while I was driving on I75 at 70 mph! That turned out to be a recall part that was bad and the dealer never bothered to have it fixed before unloading the truck on us. I almost wrecked the truck with my kids in it that day! When we had the tires checked because the front end was shaking, the estimate was $2700 because everything on the front end was about to die! THEN the last straw was as the kids and I were coming back from a derby practice the water pump blew! I had had enough. HHH called the dealership and told them to come get their piece of shit! We were done.
The dealer must have thought we were kidding because no one came to get the truck. A week and a half later, we suddenly get a call from the dealer's financial division asking if we knew why the credit card we had set up for payments was declining them? (We had the card cancelled.) We explained there would be no more payments because we are unhappy and tired of being jerked around by the dealer. Surprise surprise... the finance division had no idea we were having problems and would look into it for us. The next call was another one asking for money, to which we answered HELL NO! Then the finance guy said he would send someone for the truck to see what was wrong with it. That took them two weeks.
Now apparently, the general manager the dealership has been fired. They are asking if we'd like to put down more $$$ and be moved into a different vehicle. HHH spoke to the GM and he said he'd see what they could do. Lo and behold an hour later the Shop Guy calls us and starts BS-ing about fixing the truck, blah blah, blah......
I guess they really just want to stick us with that nightmare instead of doing the right thing and getting us into a safer vehicle.
So, I am trying to craft a sane and tactful way of telling the dealership "Fuck You". I am no longer am interested in a truck that never should have been sold to us, in my opinion. It isn't safe. It has never worked correctly, and until they can put us in another vehicle at no extra down payment for our trouble, I no longer wish to speak to them. My credit is already shot thanks to a divorce that saw the repossession of a house and car from me, so they can kiss my ass. I gave them their vehicle back. They have their property and I'm not giving them one more dime!

Sigh...... This is why used car dealers get a bad reputation.

Monday, August 15, 2011


I'm beginning to think no one does anymore. When I was a child, I had excellent grades in English, grammar, and diction when I was in school. I cringed at the whole your/you're thing. Their/there/They're sends spasms to my brain when used improperly. It pains me to read bad grammar and incorrect word usage to the point I unfriended a sister in law on Facebook because of it! (To her defense, she has what amounts to a 5th grade education.)

Most days, when I complain about people not speaking English, and lately it has been quite a bit, it's not that the folks I'm talking about are speaking a foreign language, it is usually grown, educated (?) Americans speaking like children! Foul mouthed, illiterate children. Have some pride people! Have some respect for yourselves! Do not become the unwashed masses that you came from. Your forefathers came to this country to give you an education and a better future, and you are squandering it... SQUANDERING IT!!!

Monday night, HHH & I went to the orientation of Eldest's new HS. It is a small HS, only 300 kids, and they said 15% of those won't make it in their educational construct. It's a Charter School that focuses on learning that will carry over into the real world. The kids pick out internships in real businesses in the community. The kids will graduate after four years with not only a high school diploma, but an AA degree. That's half way to a Bachelor's degree in most fields of study. That is light years away from the ghetto Eldest was having to learn in during Middle School. I looked at the parents at the orientation and saw doctors, lawyers, business owners, and artists. Not sure how they are going to take having a roller girl in their midst, but we shall see!

Come on America! Rise above the text speak, low brow attitude, and contempt of education! We are better than this muck we have mired ourselves into! Look at where we are! Look at how far we have fallen in other countries eyes!! Stand up and become the citizens our ancestors fought for us to be!

I'm standing up, will you?

(and yes, I do realize the picture above uses crass and insensitive language, but how else was I to draw in the heathens?)

Sunday, August 14, 2011


Do you write about when you have nothing on your mind? Do you drop a meme in place of your own thoughts? Do you go looking for writing prompts? How about slapping up a photo or two? Maybe sports? Kids? Pets?? I dunno.

Meh... I have smoked pork I worked on all day. That will make everything better!

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Pew Pew...Pew Pew.....

  • Sunday is a favorite day of mine. A kick my feet up, relax, and prepare for a new week kind of day.
  • I attract animals. Lots of animals. Saturday morning I heard a light tapping at our front door. I got up and looked and there was a orange female cat using her paw to "knock" on the door! What the what?? And next to her were 8 baby ducklings huddled in a group looking for a hand out! Uh... word must have gotten around I'm a soft touch!
  • My dog is in his teen years and is humping anything he can get too! I have told the kids to keep their stuffed toys up off the floor! Damn teenagers!
  • I got some sort of bug when we were in Orlando. I have felt like ass since Friday morning. Not the souvenir I had wanted.
  • Going to all the kids open houses next week. I have a high schooler, a middle schooler, and a an elementary schooler this year. Pray for me!
  • FOOTBALL IS BACK!!! If you dislike sports, please don't hate on me. If you do hate on my love of all things gridiron. I'll find you and make you play roller derby with me. Ask Karl how that worked out for him!
  • The California Pizza Kitchen has the tastiest gluten free crust I have ever eaten. Even HHH, who isn't a fan of gluten free, likes it! Kudos to them for making Mo a regular sized, gluten free pizza when we were told they didn't have kid sized crust. Didn't even charge us for it! You guys rock.
  • I have to go school shopping next week after we get finished supply lists. Why Middle & High Schools think it's OK to have us wait for completed lists is unknown to me! Sigh.....
  • I haven't skated in 2 weeks and I'm feeling the itch.

Friday, August 12, 2011

Souvenirs & Pop Rocks.

My rant at rude foreign tour groups seems to not be be at an end, since I am now sick. Like, "OMG, I can't swallow, can't breathe, can't think!" sick!!! (No jokes about the can't swallow part, HHH will make enough of those later, TYVM!) Ugh! This sucks. I understand not wanting to miss out on your foreign vacay, but damn it! Don't spread your pestilence to me! I don't want it. It must have been incubating over the last week and attacked last night while I was sleeping! Dirty no good cold germs! This is not good seeing as how I have derby on Saturday morning, Eldest's orientation on Monday night, Mo's orientation on Thursday, and Jr.'s on Friday. Add to that the back to school shopping and I don't have time to be sick!! This sucks!

And on a smaller note, it also puts an end to my Pop Rock friskiness with HHH! I'm all achy and I don't think I COULD swallow them at the moment! Poor HHH. Guess 3 days in a row will have to be the streak for now.


Thursday, August 11, 2011

Head & Shoulders

HHH had the amazingly superb idea to put "Evolution" on our Netflix queue. I LOVE that movie. I love it so much, that when I went to Avitoween in '09, I dressed as Dr. Allison Reed. (The theme was Invaded, as you can see from the above photo.) No one really got my costume, it was so obscure, but I had fun anyway. Favorite line out of the whole thing....

"I think we have established that ca-caw, ca-caw and tookie tookie don't work."

Heh heh.... just freakin' awesome. So what movie makes you laugh out loud every frickin' time??

Wednesday, August 10, 2011


Someone has a thing for Velociraptors. Don't ask why. I have no idea!

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Miss Manners, Where Are You?!?

Well, enough time has gone by since last weekend for me to look back and say....


And when I say people are rude, I am talking about all the unwashed heathen that were at the theme parks. Now, mind you, I am not a Miss Manners all the time. I play roller derby for goodness sakes, but some of the things I saw while walking around with my family was just inexcusable!

  1. While walking in WWoHP, we were trying to get to the Hippogriff ride to meet up with family who had split off from the main group when they went to ride Dragon Challenge. As I was walking I was cut off (rudely) by a family who literally jumped in front of me! After trying to get around them to no avail (They moved in every direction I did.) I spoke up, "Excuse me, terriby sorry, but I am trying to catch up with my family and..." The woman cut me off and screeched loudly in a British accent, "Oh for Christ's sakes, bugger off to the left or right won't you!" Gee, thanks lady.
  2. While in line to get a bite to eat in one of the restaurants, a girl who spoke no English was in front of HHH and myself. The line was slow and we waited and waited. When we finally got to the counter, the girl yelled out something foreign and suddenly 3 more people with t-shirts that matched hers jumped in line with her, pushing us back from the counter. Seems she was just keeping their place in line. Uh.... WTF?!?
  3. While in line for different rides, people thought it was ok to cut line, push, shove, and generally be an asshole, ESPECIALLY if they were a tourist from another nation! Dear Lord, I must have said excuse me, pardon me, and Please move a zillion times!
Is this how Americans act when they go over seas? Is this pay back? If it is payback, why do I have to put up with it? I haven't traveled outside of the continental US, so I shouldn't have to deal with it!! I think it's a sickness brought on by the fact that all those people were crammed into a small, confined space. It should be illegal!! At one point in time I tweeted and FB'ed that people from other nations on vacation shouldn't take a vacation from manners. Really people! It's the only thing separating us from the animals..... well, that and opposable thumbs!!

What about you? Do you think Manners have taken a dive?

Monday, August 8, 2011

What I Learned From This Weekend.

  • Seeing family again is nice.
  • Seeing said family at a theme park makes it nicer.
  • Said family will not understand about schedules, time tables, or keeping to an itinerary.
  • Some people will not watch their own children.
  • Same people will expect everyone else to watch their children.
  • Same said people will take you for granted.
  • Meeting new family who will soon marry in (New MIL) is great.
  • Some people will do their darnedest to try & make a trip that is supposed to be about one family member all about themselves instead.
  • Those people suck.
  • If you're the family member who is doing the best financially, everyone else will expect you to absorb all incidental costs.
  • Go carts are crazy.
  • Go carts that go down a 45 degree slope into a 32 degree banked turn scare the shit out of middle aged roller derby queens!
  • Said Roller Derby Queen's 14 year old will suddenly become a racing enthusiast and slam you into the wall!
  • Discovering a gluten free beer at Margaritaville that actually tastes as good as the beer you used to drink before diagnosis is the shizz yo!
  • Spending a day with just your family easily erases extended family's fuckery and stupidity!
  • Taking great photos of your favorite boys riding their favorite coaster (above) totally kicks ass! (and is cheaper than the theme park's $14.99 souvenir!)
  • Coming home to furry babies who missed you is awesome!
And now back to your regularly scheduled week!

Friday, August 5, 2011

Hi There!

So I'm on vacay with the family at HHH's family reunion. Photos to follow later. I promise not to crotch punch anyone.*

*I've been drinking, so I wouldn't bet on that!

Thursday, August 4, 2011


File this under "What The Fuck Are They Thinking?!?"

Hustler" wants Casey Anthony to pose naked for magazine

LOS ANGELES ( - Casey Anthony might be one of the most hated women in America, but "Hustler" magazine wants to give her a half-million dollars.

If she'll pose naked.

Larry Flynt's porno magazine has offered the 25-year-old, who was acquitted of murdering her daughter, Caylee, the cash, Flynt told HLN's Nancy Grace.

But even he thinks it's a little weird.

After the verdict, Flynt said, "I just felt that people wouldn't want to see her with her clothes on or off, so I kind of forgot about the idea."

But book lovers made him change his mind.

"I just recently got off of a book tour where dozens of people would come up to me in Philadelphia, Austin, Houston, they'd say, 'Why haven't you made an offer to Casey Anthony?'" he said.

He said he became convinced that a good hair stylist and makeup artist could have her "looking really fabulous."

Anthony's representatives told CNN there have been no discussions.

But Flynt said in addition to the $500,000, he offered Anthony a percentage of whatever he earns from her pictures.

"You could make millions," he said.

But even he acknowledged he's a little skeezed out.

"You've got men who say, hey, I want to see her in her birthday suit," he said of the Anthony offer. "There may be some sick individuals ... but that's what life is all about."

Oh my fuck!! I read this last night as I was going to sleep and I swear I threw up in my mouth a little. Then I tweeted and FB'ed it and the reaction was pretty much the same. Ew. Just ew.

So my question is, aside from the fleeting novelty of it, who would actually want to see this chick naked? I mean, really.....?

Not me!

Wednesday, August 3, 2011


Guess what I have discovered?? Oh yeah... after finally going into Sephora to ask for help with my eye make up, I got some nice things for the long haul. One of the things I discovered was....

Eye make up primer.

It seems to keep your eye make up as nice as it can be for as long as possible, you need a sort of creme base to apply it to. As I was looking at the different kinds of base formulas, HHH sauntered over and looked at the tubes and said,

"In the maintenance field, we call that Kilz."

I shit you not! Thanks for the chuckle sweetie! Just remember to laugh when I blow 1/2 a paycheck there!

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Nothing Good...

...ever happens at 3am.

After a grueling derby practice that had my muscles screaming at me, I had taken some Tylenol PM's to go to sleep. I was looking forward to a blissful night of oblivion. I drifted off to the strains of the TV blathering on about some sort of shark week nonsense.


It was slowly filtering in. At first I thought I was dreaming, like the banging was a part of my dresm. Don't you hate that? When you hear stuff in real life and your mind makes it part of the dream you're having? Especially when it's a pee dream?? We didn't wake up until after the banging had stopped. HHH went to the door, but there wasn't a note and for a moment I thought it was really a dream, but then when HHH made a walk of the property he saw a small business card on the truck. It was a Sheriff's business card asking us to call the number about our vehicle being burgled.


We called the number, and I checked the truck. I knew there wasn't anything in the truck because we cleaned it out in anticipation of sending it back to the dealer. Living in Memphis taught us to NEVER leave valuables in the cars.... it just invites break ins. When dispatch answered the woman asked if we were missing a cell phone, money & a watch from the truck. HHH assured the woman that we don't keep valuables in our vehicle, and that he was calling her FROM his cell phone! After a few more minutes, HHH assured the woman yet again that our truck hadn't been looted, that there are 2 other trucks in the neighborhood that are the same make and model as ours, and we went back into the house. It was almost 4am by then. We laid back down and after a while got back to sleep.


Now it's 7am. The Sheriff's office is back and asking HHH to look at a bag of valuables that had been recovered. OMG really? We had just fallen asleep! HHH had told the dispatcher that our truck hadn't been broken into, yet we still got woken up at the ass crack of dawn! UGH!

It turned out that there were two 16 or 17 year olds breaking into cars in the neighborhood last night. One of the residents saw them and reported it to police, who cam out and caught them red handed with the stolen loot. Because it was 3am, they didn't have any theft reports to go by, so they asked the suspects what cars they broke into and apparently the kids gave general car descriptions, including a Dodge extended cab. Sigh..... 7 or 8 cars were burgled, but apparently everything was recovered. Hopefully these are also the kids who have been breaking into the coke machines and laundry centers trying to steal the money! Them being off the streets would be nice!

When does school start again? Also... SOMEONE NEEDS TO DO SOME GOD DAMN PARENTING!!!