Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Bikini Jail Cell Mom.

There is the distinct possibility I may go to jail in the next few weeks. Let me explain...

Eldest is 14. She has successfully navigated middle school and is on to high school in the fall. Also, aside from a few bumps here and there.... she is a pretty good kid. So recently she has made a couple of requests. One was for a Facebook. The other was for a bikini.

OH SWEET JEBUS WHAT AM I THINKING!!!???

OK, here's my thinking. I am a big fan of social media. I am also an adult. I have seen so many many stories in the news about how kids bully the shit out of each other even more online than in person. We have all heard about the little girl who hung herself in her closet after a schoolmate's mother faked a MySpace profile from a boy then humiliated the poor child! I don't want that to happen to my child. I'd like her to be happy and carefree!

So we were at the pool today where Eldest brought up the two previous items yet AGAIN. I had been brushing her off for a while now so I thought I'd ask her a question... "If you had to choose, which would you prefer, FB or a bikini? Mom's nerves & heart can only take one." I really expected her to choose the FB option, I really did. Unfortunately for me, she piped right up with, "I wanna bikini!"

DAMN! DOUBLE DAMN!!

So, I kept my word and I was gnashing my teeth in the Tar-jay swimwear department on Tuesday night, watching my 14 year old daughter pick and choose between bikini options! GOD HELP ME! We laid down a few rules, like no string bikinis, no t-backs, and no overly decorated options that will fall apart after a day. She gets 3 different options, we go try them on, I take photos so I can go show HHH because he has to have a say in it(and she won't go outside the dressing room), and we finally pick one.

Now, the first time some jackass, pedobear even tries to look at her in a salacious manner, I'm gonna go to jail for fucking him up. It's that roller girl rage. I hope I can get bailed out of jail should it come to that.

So what would you guys pick? If you had a 14 year old daughter, would you give her Facebook, or a bikini?

See ya'll in the lock up! ;-)


4 comments:

Russ said...

Damn, I don't know. Bikini season is only a couple of months a year, but FB is year round.

I would say FB because she will probably do it anyway (everyone has access to the internet these days), but she has to be my friend on it. (Same rule for the boy, though I'm not worried about him wearing a bikini.)

Megan said...

Bikini. I wore one at 14 and don't see it as a huge deal. Plus they have some really cute ones with boy shorts that aren't slutty.

Karl said...

Oof, those are hard choices. Eventually, she'll have both, anyway. Did you find a decent bikini during your shopping trip? Your husband's REALLY gotta be freaking out. Ha.

Vicky said...

Fortunately I have a son. But at 8 he is already asking for a facebook account. I told him middle school and that I will need to a be his friend and b set it up with him.

As for the bikini, I wore one at 14, so if I had a daughter I would let her. But I hear ya, its a scary world out there for our kids. We just have to trust that we raised them right and they know what to do it if they get in a situation where someone is staring at them. I use to yell "what the fuck are you looking at". That usually threw them, hearing a 14 year old curse like that and calling them on the looking, and making everyone else know.

Good luck! Just remember you kid needs you at home rather than in jail for beating up a guy for looking at her.