Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Sucks.

Sigh.... I was already having a bad day, started with feeling a thump while driving the kids in to school. Turns out my right front tire sprung a bubble. So I drop them off and it was off to the tire shop. The Kingdom of Tires tried to rip me off first thing. So much for their, "We'll match any price, guaranteed!" That dude just wanted to sell me an over priced rubber doughnut! I left and brought my business to his competition. Even there though, it was expensive. Came to about $150 for 1 measly tire. Sigh. I have the brokedness now.

After that, the day just went down hill. I started thinking about everything and...

I'm just mediocre.

Now, I'm not saying this as a bid for your sympathy. God no. I made an off handed comment on FB about being mediocre and instantly got build up comments, but they just made me feel worse actually. No... I think it's time to realize that no matter what I've done in my life, it's really just been mediocre. Middle of the road. Nothing special. Looking back, I was an OK student, didn't get in trouble, kept my nose clean, and did a decent job. In my adult life, I didn't do much. Got married, had kids, worked jobs, fucked the first marriage up, got married again.... blah blah blah... Still, nothing superlative. Then take derby. I was OK when I was with SRG, because no one knew what they were doing. Now that I'm with Bradentucky, man do I suck major ass. Like bad enough that I wouldn't be surprised if they kicked my ass out. Sigh.... I need to come to terms with this mediocrity. I can be OK with it. I realize that not everyone can be great, that how we can recognize greatness when we see it. It stands out. I've been a follower most all my life, and as 40 approaches, I need to follow it as well.

The world needs us mediocre people to show them when something is great.

Still... it just sucks.

3 comments:

Russ said...

I refuse to go to tire kingdom anymore. On the good days, they rip you off, on the not good ones they don't do what they say they will. Pissed me off too, they were right next door to my favorite breakfast place (since closed).

Megan said...

If you are medicore (I don't necessarily agree, mind you), it's because you've chosen to be. You have the capcity to be more than that. All it takes is the desire and some work.

Pick one thing. You love derby? Work at being the best at it you can be. There is no competition except for yourself - remember that. Take the opportunity to learn from those that are better than you. Challenge yourself to get better.

You can do this. :)

Miss Anarchy said...

I know exactly what you mean about feeling mediocre. I feel the same way. I did all the same things, school, married, divorced, kid, engaged again, got my degree, have a job. but nothing is spectacular. I don't have a talent that I am great at. But then I remind myself that while I am not an expert in one area, I am a jack of all trades, and could be happy and make do no matter where I was. I can put dinner on the table every night, we live in a safe neighborhood where my son has friends, we are able to go do activities on the weekend, and most of all, we love doing things together.

I don't quite remember where I was going with this, but essentially it doesn't matter if you are mediocre, an expert or know nothing about something, all that matters is if you are happy.