Thursday, June 2, 2011

How Blonde Almost Went To Jail, or Graduation Day!


So there I was... GRADUATION DAY! It was time to watch the Eldest receive her due from 3 years of hard work! I got there at 7:45am. The graduation wasn't supposed to start till 8:30am, but I got a note from the school saying there would be limited seating and to get there early or risk standing in the back, seeing nothing! Oh no! I was there nice and early and secured a place on the fourth row aisle side! SCORE! Little did I know what I was in for! The hall filled quickly and there was standing room only in just a few minutes after I sat down. I did help out some people who sat next to me though. Their family was running late so I saved the two seats next to me for them. Funny thing was, when the family got there, the lady who sat next to me was 450 if she was a pound, so I actually got SAT ON when she sat down. (school chairs are REALLY small and they were put close together to fit as many in as possible.) We laughed about it and I made friends with these lovely ladies. Then the Pomp & Circumstance started playing and all Hell broke loose. All the parents that got there late rushed the aisle and crammed in front of the chairs so we were totally cut off from seeing anything. I finally stood up and held my phone up as high as I could so I could video record the entrance. After all the kids filed in, the chaos settled down and all the rampant parents filed back to the end of the room. Most of the program went ok. I was trying to get a photo of the Eldest receiving her certificate, but right as I was taking the photo, some inconsiderate ass rammed into my arm and blurred the photo! Then the jackass had the nerve to give me a dirty look when it was he that hit me! I sighed, told myself to take the highroad and sat back down. The final straw came when the VPA Dance did their Senior Piece for the crowd and two HUGE ladies clip clopped down the aisle and blocked EVERYONE'S view so they could stand there and take photos. Now, I'm an understanding woman. I wanted photos of my daughter up there dancing too, but I would have at least knelt down so people could see!! Then I would have sat my ass back down! Not these two women! They were gonna camp out there the whole time! Finally the man sitting in front of me got fed up and walked up to ask them to sit down so we could all see. OMG! You'd have thought he asked them to murder small kittens! They let loose with Fuck you's and shut the fuck up's, and asshole's (mind you, this is during a dance performance in graduation.) Finally they went back to the back of the room again and we all sat back to watch the kids finish out their dance piece, except the potty mouthed fat asses sent one of their husbands to start picking a fight with the poor guy in front of me who only wanted to see his daughter dance on the stage! And wouldn't you know it! He is standing right in front of me! I had been nice all damn morning! I held my tongue, didn't push my way to get photos, and even loaned my camera to the ladies next to me because they forgot theirs! I had paid my dues in an auditorium filled with rude, country asses! I tapped the man on the arm and said, "I'm trying to watch my daughter on the stage. Please sit down."

Dude turns to me, sticks his finger in my face, ACTUALLY IN MY FACE, and says "Don't you touch me you bitch!"

UM, EXCUSE ME FUCKER??!!??

Oh hell no! I started to jump up and was promptly snatched back by the ladies I had befriended. I think it was the only thing that kept me from slugging the guy and starting a melee right then and there! I had put up with these stupid ass fuckers enough, but I realized that the ladies were right. I didn't beat the shit outta that big black man, I did tell him he was dead wrong for pulling that shit at the kid's graduation. I sighed, sat back down, and thanked the ladies for their cooler heads, and watched the rest of the program. As the kids exited, we were once again squashed by the crush of parents cramming up the aisle! Sigh... I had had enough! I got up and started to make my way outside when I passed the Principal. I shook his hand and congratulated him on another crop of great kids, but also mentioned he may want to move to a larger venue because of the problems with crowding. I also pointed out the fellow who sat in front of me and was almost assaulted by the other man. After that I collected my daughter and we went off to Bux to have a celebratory Shaken Tea Lemonade.


Other things I saw at the Graduation:
  1. A woman who wasn't wearing a bra and really should have been!
  2. Several young women who were dressed to be in a hip hop booty shaking video. That is to say they were almost undressed!
  3. Another woman who was wearing a terry cloth pool dress cover up as an actual dress! WTF?
  4. People who had no respect for others who wanted to actually hear what was being said during the program. The talkers drove me nuts!
So, needless to say, I'm not gonna miss the parents of Booker Middle School. Most all of them were rude, crude, and socially unattractive! Hopefully, the parents of Bloomingdale High School will be a better group!

If you have read down this far, I'd like to say a hearty thank you to those who offered up their debit cards, mortgage payments, and savings to possibly bail me out of jail had I gotten into that fight. I tweeted the possibility, and in moments had several tweets back! It was greatly appreciated my friends! And also a congratulations to my Eldest! You do me proud every day baby! I love you!

2 comments:

Russ said...

Good times! I expect the new school to be better, if only because most of the children of these parents will most likely drop out.

Megan said...

Gah. People suck. Seriously.

Congrats to your girl!