Thursday, June 30, 2011


Dear Anonymous-

Hello there. So glad you come to my blog and enjoy what you read. You must enjoy it, or you wouldn't keep coming back. Since you are also a recent reader as well, I didn't think twice about you using the anonymous label when leaving your "choice" comments. Lots of people who comment on blogs don't want to fiddle with registering their name and what not. I get that. What I don't get is the fact that you seem to be having a great time poking fun at my expense. Yes, yes, I know, people don't always see eye to eye, and I have a very..... unique..... point of view so to speak. I don't expect my writing to make everyone happy, but you, anonymous, you seem to like attacking me on a personal level. In the comments for the graduation post, you referenced me as being "white trash". Oh, then there was the time when you commented about my complaining about the woman who took her drink into the bathroom at Panera. You asked if ANYTHING made me happy, and I answered in the comments about how several things made me happy.

So I'd like to take this opportunity to say that, I know you either work or go to Ringling College of Art & Design. I've got several of your IP addys and have looked you up. Part of that makes me feel better, because I have an idea of where you are, but the other part of that is I may know who you are.

Someone I know/knew feels like it's a fun thing to hate on me.

How great a feeling is that, huh? And the best part is, the people I know from Ringling......


Yup. If Trolly McTrollerton is someone I know/knew, they are the same people I skated with in SRG. People I bonded with, bouted with, cared about, and hurt with when our league went bust. It actually kind of stings a bit!

So, dear Anonymous, have your fun. Chuckle at my expense, if you will. It's perfectly alright. I'm a big girl. I have yet to delete someone's comments just because I didn't agree with them. HOWEVER.... do me the kindness of no longer hiding behind the mask of an anonymous commenter. You aren't really anonymous, are you? You know me and I know you.

Time to own up.

Sincerely, Blondefabulous

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Once Again....

Hidden gluten sucks.

And not just gluten I didn't see or realize, but gluten some ignorant ass of a chef or baker "promises" isn't in their food, but yup. It's there. I'll explain.

I accidentally booby trapped myself Tuesday night. HHH asked me to make him some onion rings. Ok. No problem. I am making the onion rings, setting up the plate and then I did the stupidest thing ever. I ate 6 of them.

OMG! I am sooooooo stupid some time!

So all day Wednesday I felt like crap. HUGE crap. Sick, nauseous, ugly, crap. HHH felt bad for me. He went and got me a smoothie and then stopped by a little bakery that had just opened. He was talking to the baker and asking him if they had any gluten free treats. The guy said no, but he was developing some soon. Then HHH asked if the cheesecake cups were ok for me and the baker said "Sure, just don't eat the crust on the bottom." So HHH bought a cherry cheesecake cup for me. It was delicious. So good! And I cut the crust off the bottom and gave it to Junior.

30 minutes later.....

I'm DYING! I was feeling horrible. Poor HHH thinks he POISONED me! I looked it up and yep. Cheesecake uses flour as a thickener. Gah! I wanted to die. I wanted to throw up! I wanted to crawl into a hole. It wasn't pretty. Wanna know the best part? We were on our way to dinner! Great! We ended up having dinner. I started feeling better after some time went by, not by much, but some. We got through dinner and then a little shopping before going home and then I was blah for the rest of the night.

So now I guess I'm not even going to be able to take a baker or chef's word when it comes to gluten in their stuff!

Frustrated.... thy name is Blondefabulous!

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

The Diet

This is Fluffawuffagus, or Fluffy as you may know him. He's a Heinze 57 mix of cat who actually grew up thinking he was a dog for the first 4 years of his life. He's great. Unlike most cats, Fluffy will actually let you turn him over on his back and rub his tummy without slicing off your arm! Cool, yes.... awesome, yes.... But!

Lately, there has been more and more tummy to rub!

Now, nobody has really said anything. He's healthy, he exercises more or less like any other cat. He has a good coat, bright eyes, clean ears, and a healthy appetite. There in lies our problem..... My cat is fat.

He's not as fat as some of the cats. I remember Amber & Casper, two cats that belonged to a client I cleaned for, and they weighed 27lbs and 25lbs respectively. They were obese cats. My cat is just fat. He has a buddah belly that is really becoming prominent under all that fur. Knowing what I know about overweight people and the toll it takes on their joints and health, and I know I don't want that happening to Fluffers. So, I put him on a diet. Usually, I dump a bowl full of food in his dish, and he grazes during the day.... ALL DAY. That stopped. I read the bags and looked up what the actual portions size was for an adult male cat. Turns out, I'm supposed to feed Fluffy 2x a day, anywhere from 1/2 to 2/3's of a cup of food. OK. I started doing that on Saturday. The way Fluffy acted, you'd have think I checked him into a deserted island!

The first two photos were of him laying prostrate across the bed in protest of me only filling his bowl with the new, smaller portions. Oh was he upset with me! Then came the sneaking. First, we had to stop him from sneaking the dogs food. Then came the Mission Impossible, Trying to break into the pantry stuff. All Monday night/Tuesday morning, I heard "rattle, rattle, rattle" & "jiggle, squeak, jiggle". He was shoving his paw under the folding pantry door and trying to jiggle the door open. Yes, he knows how to do this. He used to jiggle open the bathroom door when I'd shut it just so he could come into the bathroom with me. (he always love a captive petting audience.) So I had to circumvent that too.

Now I'm just waiting to see what's next! I fully expect to have a brick dropped on me and have my dinner stolen once I come to!

Saturday, June 25, 2011

About The Bout!

The bout was a grand success! We raised almost $300 for the JDRF! Dyna-Mo and Ketoacidosis received a bookbag full of goodies from the JDRF guy who was in attendance. I spoke to him a little and he said that when he was diagnosed with Type-1 all people & doctors ever told him was what he COULDN'T do. He said people need to see kids like mine to show the world what diabetics CAN do! And boy did they do it! Dyna-Mo was on the Castle Crashers team (black shirts) and they won! By a rather large margin too! I was proud of Mo because she got two grand slams when she was jamming! That's where you pass everyone, even the opposing jammer! That's pretty darn cool! Now on to the photos!

That's my man Keto, officiating!

This was Dyna-Mo during one of her Grand Slam passes!

This was the JDRF representative, Scooter,(yes... THAT WAS HIS NAME!) when he gave Mo and Keto their backpacks from the JDRF.

Dyna-Mo and her friend, Coconut Smackeroon stretching out before the bout!

It was pandalerium at the raffle table! My LUSH bag is on the end, green with purple paper! It was wildly popular!!

Keto, Mo, & Smackeroon warming up!

Keto with his adult ref, Prosehack. All the kid refs have an adult ref to help them out!

Dyna-Mo has her serious face on!

Alley Capone and me! One of the few photos that rarely get taken of me!

So a great time was had by all and we raised a bunch of money for a good cause!

Friday, June 24, 2011

Play Ball!

Was out with the team Friday night at the Bradenton Marauders Baseball game. It was Bradentucky Bomber night and a few of us were skating around through the crowd to drum up some support for the July 10th bout against Sintral. I was on Linkskates zipping in and out of the crowd, trying to draw attention to our little table where we were giving out flyers for the bout. It also happened to be FCW night as well. For those who don't know, that's Florida Championship Wrestling. It's the farm club for the WWE that runs out of Tampa. There were quite a few wrestlers there, not many that I knew of, but I recognized Husky Harris, and HHH recognized Trent Barreta. The funny thing was, in the middle of the 3rd inning, the ball club had a dance contest between a few of the wrestlers and Us... us consisting of Malice In Rollerland and myself. So down we go onto the field, these big bulky wrestlers and us roller girls. Somehow, there was 4 of them, and only two of us! So they start blaring the Tootsie Roll on the PA system and off we went. So we're dancing... the wrestlers are goofing around, Malice is dancing with the Marauder's Mascot, and I'm just doing a modified electric slide. Finally it stops and the guy running the show asks the crowd who they think won.

Who won???

You guessed it! Malice and I!!! Whoo hoo! We didn't win anything, except the bragging rights of beating former Smackdown star Trent Barreta, which is a cool thing in and of itself!

Unfortunately, it started raining right after the dance contest! BOO! Since the kids had their bout coming up Saturday morning, we made the decision to leave. Can't have the Two Diabetic Poster kids come to the bout sick! It was an awful storm too. Driving back home through it sucked! Nothing like people almost stopping because of rain. We got back home and everyone went to bed, readying for the big day coming up!

So can I say I beat a Smackdown Wrestler now??? LOL!

Thursday, June 23, 2011


Tomorrow is the day! My two youngest will take to the hardwood and roll their hardest to "Hip check Diabetes into the Suicide Seats". Yes, we have made that our catch phrase! You should too!

Please go here and make a donation to the JDRF.(Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation), or make a donation on this page too. That's the main donation page for the JDRF. Another donation link is shown at the end of this video that Prosehack made. Or, if you are in the area, come to Astro Skate at 8:30am to watch these pint sized athletes give their all. While you're there, buy some baked goods(yes, I know that sounds silly for a Diabetes fundraiser, but think of it as we're making cheddar off the normies, also, I am making gluten free cupcakes with sugar free, chocolate icing!), and maybe purchase a raffle ticket! I have it on good authority that there is a LUSH gift bag in the raffle worth $30!!

So won't you come help us out? Just look at those faces up there!! TRY to tell them no!

Wednesday, June 22, 2011


The kids and I went somewhere today. It was a place called BOING! Jump Center. Basically, take a shitload of trampolines, line the room with them, add kids, and poof! Instant fun! I was a little wary of it, having my knee troubles and all, but, off we went!

Once you get in the door, you're greeted cheerily by a guy behind the counter who asks if you have been there before. If the answer is yes, he pulls up your file on the computer, checks your information for being current, then gets you started. If the answer is no, you have to fill out waivers. Being a newbie, I was sent to the waiver table.

You have to fill out a waiver for every. frickin. person. Adults, kids, everyone. And you HAVE to be the parent or LEGAL (it's in all capitals on their form!) guardian of any minors you have with you or they will not jump. After you fill out the necessary "Yes we won't be stupid jackasses" waivers, we went back to the counter and were rung up. The cost of jumping in a room full of trampolines is $12 for the first hour, and $9 every hour there after. Jump shoes and soft helmets for the youths are included in that price. We spent $51.65 for the four of us. That's right. I said FOUR of us. If we were gonna do this, we were gonna do it as a family, Mom included. The counter guy gave us matching color bracelets(pink) and we moved on to the equipment counter to get shoes and helmets for the kidlets.

After we were properly helmeted(Them, not me. Apparently, adults can splat their brains all over, no problem.) and shod, we walked back to the jump arenas. There are two different arenas to use. We started out in the beginner/free jump arena. We met the ref shirted Jump Coordinator and he gave us a run down of the rules. No wrestling, no sitting on the trampolines, no trying to reach the ceiling, and no more than 2 people on a trampoline at a time. OK. We had our instructional and then we were off! The kids took a moment to get into it, but then BOOM! Junior was off like a shot! Now remember, even the walls of this place are trampolines. Junior would start off on one side of the room and bounce across 5 to 6 trampolines as fast as he could then LAUNCH himself into the wall, then bounce back and shoot back to the other side of the room ad naseum! The look on his face was priceless! I was bouncing with them too. Mostly just bouncing on a single trampoline, but still, my kids are HUGE into full participation. So we were giggling and bouncing together!

After a bit, we went to check out the other arena. There we found dodge ball. Oh yes, the "Bean someone as hard as you can" kind of dodge ball. We played a few rounds of that, then I went back to the open jump room with Mo. She and I jumped around for a bit when Eldest came over and declared.... "I'm Bored." Great. Of course the 14 year old is bored. So we went back over to the dodgeball arena because the other side of it was an acrobatic jump with a big soft crash pad. Eldest looked dubious till I showed her that it didn't hurt. Yeah, I bounced across 2 trampolines and launched myself into the air only to land on the soft crash pad. It was AWESOME! Eldest was tentative at first, but then she really got into it! Soon she was no longer bored, but turning somersaults in the air and landing on the crash pad! It was amazing. I was doing barrel rolls as high as I could, Junior was doing flippies, and Mo was just doing spread eagle face plants! It was great!

Finally, we heard our group color called and were given a choice of paying $9 for another hour, or turning in our equipment and leaving. We chose to go, mostly because we were wrung out! Jumping on a trampoline may sound like kids play, but we were sweating our fannies off! The kids were drenched! Our first stop after leaving was at the corner 7-11 to get a Big Gulp of Gatorade!

So, to sum it all up, BOING! is the shizznit! No lie. Even if you're not an athletic person, you can still have a great time. I was thankful for my derby experience. Made keeping my balance a little easier. The kids and I had a blast and are planning our next bouncing! BOING! doesn't have many locations. In fact, I think this is the only one they have. From talking with the extremely chatty counter guys though, I hear there is another center getting ready to open in Orlando too!

I bet the place will be hoppin'!

*I was not paid, gifted, or otherwise compensated for this post. I spent my own, (OK, HHH's) money for us to go to this business and it totally rocked our socks off, so I thought you all should know about it!

Tuesday, June 21, 2011


Watch this video.

This Saturday, the Bradenton Derby Brats will be having their June, inter-league bout. This month's charity is the JDRF. You all know my two Brats have type 1 diabetes. At the tender age of 2 years & 16 months, they were diagnosed with this auto immune disease and started the long road of daily injections, only being able to eat certain foods, and constantly checking their blood sugar. Now they're 12 & 9 and are playing roller derby. Being active is part of staying healthy when you have diabetes. This Saturday they will be representing not just their teams, but kids with diabetes. Now it the part where you come in....

If you live close enough to Bradenton Florida, think about getting up a little early, ok A LOT EARLY, this Saturday 6/25 to come watch these awesome kids play the sport of roller derby. There will be a raffle and a bake sale as well, and every dime the kids make will be donated to the JDRF right after the bout ends because a representative from the Suncoast chapter of the JDRF will be there! If you can't make it to watch the kids give their all, then click on this, JDRF, and it will take you to a page where you can make a tribute donation to the cause! Just mention it's for the Bradenton Derby Brats.

My two kids live with diabetes every day. They are used to it now, but I still wish they didn't have to deal with it. Diabetes is close to a cure. It could happen in the next 20 years as long as research is kept rolling!

The Derby Brats want to keep it rolling, for Ketoacidosis & Dyna-Mo. Please Help Us!

Sunday, June 19, 2011


Sunday was just lovely! I drove out bright and early & procured doughnuts for HHH as requested. I even brought him back chocolate milk to go with them. After the reading of the cards...(I let the kids buy a different card each rather than try to get them to decide on one card together, a virtually impossible feat.)... it was off to lunch at the mall and Best Buy to find a cable to hook up the lap top to the TV for viewing movies we've purchased online! There had been a HUGE crowd at the mall on the day before(Saturday), and you couldn't even go near from the crush of the crowd. Sunday it was much lighter, with the crowds thronging the restaurants on the south end. We ate in the food court instead of waiting hours for a table elsewhere. Then it was a jaunt around to look in the various stores then back home to hook up the computer and watch "THOR". After that it was time to go out to dinner. Dinner consisted of a usual southern fare on Father's day, Sonny's BBQ. They have a free dinner for fathers who show with their progeny in tow. Dinner was excellent! Then we walked around Wall to Wall Mart a bit then off to Steak & Shake for milkshakes as dessert!

All in all, it was lovely! Only weird thing the whole day was when Mo & I went to get the doughnuts. As I started the truck, there was this great knocking sound coming from beneath the hood. I drove off listening to it bang around a bit, then it stopped. All I could think was some damn squirrel or other various & sundry animal had hidden in the engine! I made HHH look later that day at it and he didn't see anything. Whew!

How was your Father's Day?

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Friday, June 17, 2011

Point Being Made

Not to push the point or anything, but in one week, the Bradenton Derby Brats will have their June Bout. That's the one where the charity is for the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation. During this morning's practice, Dyna-Mo & Ketoacidosis will be doing a short video to give the bout some PR and to show people that the face of Type 1 Diabetes is young, strong, and active! Lots of people don't know the Mo & Keto are diabetic. Lately though, we have had an audience when doing the after practice blood sugar checks and insulin shots. It's been kind of funny. Not sure what the kids think of all this, but they have been taking it in stride.

So... if you have a chance and want to help a great cause with some awesome kids, make plans to come to Bradenton FL for a junior roller derby bout. It's a good time, and these are extraordinary kids!


Next Morning...

Made a wonderful dinner for HHH and the family last night to celebrate our 7th anniversary. Rosemary Roasted Hen with little baby potatoes, summer squash casserole, and a Pineapple Upside-Down cake for dessert. I ate a piece of the cake with the family.....

And now I'm paying for it, BIG TIME!

Sigh, Celiac Disease makes celebrating so difficult.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011


I love you baby!
Happy Anniversary!


I think everyone pretty much knows HHH is a maintenance guy. He fixes the stuff that breaks in the community he works and we live in. Besides fixing the toilets, AC systems, and various other things that break, he also gets to clean out units that get vacated. Lots of times, those units are vacated to avoid paying back rent. In the process of vacating these units(usually in the dead of night), stuff.... LOTS of stuff, gets left behind. Yesterday was one of those days.

HHH came home yesterday with a shoebox. A rather ordinary shoebox, didn't look like much. Then he flipped it open.... and it had almost 75 plastic sleeved comic books! So I asked on Twitter and FB about them, but no one really had a definitive answer. Then HHH went on a Comic Book Price site. Most of them were worth maybe $4 to $10 bucks, but then he input the specs on a 1986 Capt. America featuring Wolverine. That one had all kinds of bells & whistles. Possibly LOTS of bells and whistles! One apparently went for $3000+ at auction in grade 9 condition! That would be cool. And with the new Capt. America movie getting ready to drop, who knows what it could go for if it turns out to be what we think it is??

Either or.... it is a pretty cool find. The ads for products in the back are like a time machine. Ads for Game Genie, Super Nintendo, gums, TV shows, and even one for the live action Super Mario Bros. movie! Oh man..... talk about a time capsule. Most of the books were from the early 1990's and encased in plastic for their protection. I'm working out having them being looked at soon. We'll see....

So I guess this is kind of an Antiques Roadshow or the graphic generation. I'll keep you updated!

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

How I feel The Morning After....

Yeah.... I skated with ice packs all night last night. My knee added a good 30 seconds to everything we did. That meant my 4 minute 55 second 25 laps got made into 5 minutes and 25 seconds. I'm supposed to keep that under 5 minutes. Yeah.

So, I'll be spending today in the pool, rehabing my knee, swimming instead of running. I guess I am still running sort of. One of the kids holds on to my shoulders and creates drag as I run circles in the shallow end. What can I say, it does help. My knee was strong enough to get through almost everything last night.

Now, where's my Tylenol??

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Note To Self......

DO NOT order the Banana's Foster..... EVER!

Woman Severely Burned By Banana's Foster At Palm Harbor Restaurant.

PALM HARBOR — A family preparing to enjoy a dessert of bananas Foster was burned, one of them severely, when the flaming dish splashed on them Saturday night at a restaurant.

Two of them were rushed by helicopter to the hospital. The most badly wounded, a 25-year-old woman, suffered first- and second-degree burns when her dress caught fire.

Around 9 p.m., a server at the Ozona Blue Grilling Co., 125 Orange St. N, was preparing the dessert popularized in the 1950s. The server poured 151-proof rum over the dish and lit it.

Then something horrible happened. The flaming liquor spilled onto the customers.

"Obviously, it was a terrible accident," said Debbie Fragale, an Ozona Blue manager. "But my main concern is for the well-being of that young lady and everyone who was hurt, and our thoughts and prayers are with everyone who was involved. It was just very unfortunate."

Two women, a 25-year-old and 56-year-old, were taken to Tampa General Hospital by helicopter. The 56-year-old, who suffered what fire officials described as respiratory burns, was later discharged. The 25-year-old suffered severe first- and second-degree burns, according to Palm Harbor Fire Rescue spokeswoman Liz Monforti. When her dress caught fire, her body became covered in flames. "It's going to be a long time for her to heal," Monforti said. She remains hospitalized.

Two men, a 25-year-old and a 58-year-old, were burned on the knees. They refused treatment.

Fire officials did not disclose the customers' names, but said they were family members.

An off-duty firefighter who was in the restaurant provided first aid before paramedics arrived, Monforti said.

Bananas Foster is a dessert often made as a tableside performance. The preparation of the dish involves sautéing bananas in butter, then adding alcohol to the pan. The alcohol is then lit, creating a flame. The dish is often served over ice cream.

Times staff writer Demorris A. Lee contributed to this report. Danny Valentine can be reached at

[Last modified: Jun 12, 2011 08:10 PM]

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Saturday, June 11, 2011

Fuck Yeah Roller Derby Otter!

Tee hee! I just found this site called Fuck Yeah Roller Derby Otter! It is amazing! It's made by derby skaters, for derby skaters, about derby stuff that happens. Don't worry if you don't understand them all, I do. And that's what's important. Check out the site. It's funny!

I hear this all the time when I am out in one of my jerseys and someone says, "You play the roller derby? I watched that in the 70's! It was so fake." Yeah gramps, it's fake. Come sit in the suicide seats next bout and I'll show you just how fake it is when I hip check some random skater into your crotch! Enjoy your squashed balls!

Hee hee hee..... we tackle you because we LOVE you! Don't you know that?!??

I saw Whip It like everyone else and it is on the banked track. I play flat track derby, mainly because banked tracks are expensive and hard to set up and take down. I can imagine me saying that above if I ever, EVER got on a banked track.

Because one tiny little pebble will send you flying to your doom! Trust me on this!

This last one is for Karl, who is in need of surgery after his one practice with my old derby team, the Sarasota Roller Girls. Sorry about the hand,.... and the wrist,.... and the shoulder...... Heh heh heh.........

Thursday, June 9, 2011


I know I should have a witty and insightful post to put up here, but I don't. I spent 3 hours at the pool with the kids on Thursday and even though I stayed in the shade of a couple of palm trees, I ended up with my boobs getting fried. Oh yes, the rack is now two toned between creamy white and hot pink. No worries though, I have been liberally applying aloe gel and HHH has been happy to help me rub it in. (wink, wink, nudge nudge...)

So, if I am already sun burnt, that means Friday will NOT be spent at the pool. Gotta give the skin a rest. That means I am going to tear the house apart and clean it with in an inch on it's life. Thursday night we went to Bed, Bath, & Beyond and got a shower curtain liner, two new bath sheets, and one of those memory foam bath mats. OMG That thing is so nice! Very comfy for my feeties! Can't wait to try out the bath sheets tomorrow after I wash them. Now I just need to get out to LUSH and get a few more bath bombs!!

And that's about it. What are you guys doing for summer?

Wednesday, June 8, 2011


So I was on Twitter the other night when I saw that there was a conversation party going on that had to do with Universal. Now, you all know we love us some Universal Studios, so I started inserting myself into the conversations going on. It was nice.... everyone chatted about their fave places to go, hotels, stuff to do and I got a couple of retweets too..... then when it was done and everyone was saying good bye, I offered a few of the people who had nationally recognized blogs my point of view about traveling with medically needy kids for vacations....

and two of them accepted!

O holy mother of frack! What had I gotten myself into?

So, as I had recently told a friend who asked me about how I can pretty much write every day and how can he blog like that, I started doing my research. I went back over to their blogs and reread post after post. I then wrote an article and started editing it. And editing. And editing some more. I asked Twitter for an opinion and sent it out to whom ever gave me their email. Then I chose photos and such and sent it off.

I love to write. I love to blog. It was awesome to craft words into something that might get viewed all over the internet! The hardest part was coming up with a bio for myself. I'm not good at touting any of the scant attributes I might have. I slucked together something though. I'd put it on here, but Blogger is an ass and won't let me copy & paste it in without erasing all this stuff. Bugger!

Now let's hope the ladies I sent it off to like it!
(PS- I am on pain pills writing this, so if it sounds stilted, oopsies!)


That is all.

Monday, June 6, 2011

Boom Shaka Laka

And with one fell swoop, school is over and summer has begun. My child in the above photo is the one in the blue leopard print dress with the lime green socks! Oh yes, my derby girl was showing her attitude when receiving her diploma!

And she was happy! Oh was she happy! With all the difficulties she had with her teacher, bullies, nurses and the like, Morgan persevered and won out, getting promoted to Middle School. I am very proud of my baby!
Then there's Mr. Man here. He got an award from his teacher for responsibility! Who? My kid?? No way man! LOL!

Then the kids read poetry till lunch, where I was treated to the best fare Florida's public schools could offer! (heh, heh...) After that, it was checking out of school for the last time and saying good bye to the people we've known for the last 3 years. I was sad to say good bye to Desiree, the nurse who has cared for my babies for so long. She and the other ladies in the office are like family now, and we will really miss them, but thank God for Twitter and FB! You can keep track that way!

So let the relaxation start! I am ready for it!

Sunday, June 5, 2011


Today I am watching my 5th grader graduate elementary school. That starts at 8:30am. Then at 11:30 I am watching the 3rd grader get his awards for the last semester. Then I'm supposed to eat lunch at school with my kids. After that we are putzing around for a few hours and it's off to derby practice for the evening and then ....


OMG! I am so glad that's over. Now I only have to drive for derby practice 2 times a week. Most awesome. I'm glad I'll get to relax more. I'll also get to get back to running and exercising like I was before having to spend 7.5 hours a day on my ass in Bux. Maybe some more swimming to take it easy on my knee.

Either or, I just have one thing to say....


Saturday, June 4, 2011


As my two youngest children prepare for becoming the JDRF spokeskids for their roller derby league, I'd like to give a hearty FUCK YOU to KFC for this little in store ad. It's ridiculous! They could have at least made the ad showing a DIET PEPSI!


Friday, June 3, 2011


That's my face directly after my daughter smacked me square in the face with one of those water balls that you use to splash people with. With a full load of water, the damn thing must weigh 5 pounds. Add gravity to that and in one fell swoop, she had smacked me, broke my sunglasses on my face, and cut my nose. seeing as how I was also treading water at the time, I was lucky I didn't drown as all I could see was stars from when I was struck!

Needless to say, I was bedridden the rest of the day. I know damn well I didn't have a concussion either, (it was a frickin' water ball for Christs sakes!), but I was nauseous, dizzy, and sick! Hopefully I feel better before derby practice! If not, I won't be able to drive! EEK!

What I really want to know is, why are all my injuries coming from my family and NOT from derby in the first place?? It's down right embarrassing!

Now to appeal to any available deity that I don't get a black eye in the morning!

Thursday, June 2, 2011

How Blonde Almost Went To Jail, or Graduation Day!

So there I was... GRADUATION DAY! It was time to watch the Eldest receive her due from 3 years of hard work! I got there at 7:45am. The graduation wasn't supposed to start till 8:30am, but I got a note from the school saying there would be limited seating and to get there early or risk standing in the back, seeing nothing! Oh no! I was there nice and early and secured a place on the fourth row aisle side! SCORE! Little did I know what I was in for! The hall filled quickly and there was standing room only in just a few minutes after I sat down. I did help out some people who sat next to me though. Their family was running late so I saved the two seats next to me for them. Funny thing was, when the family got there, the lady who sat next to me was 450 if she was a pound, so I actually got SAT ON when she sat down. (school chairs are REALLY small and they were put close together to fit as many in as possible.) We laughed about it and I made friends with these lovely ladies. Then the Pomp & Circumstance started playing and all Hell broke loose. All the parents that got there late rushed the aisle and crammed in front of the chairs so we were totally cut off from seeing anything. I finally stood up and held my phone up as high as I could so I could video record the entrance. After all the kids filed in, the chaos settled down and all the rampant parents filed back to the end of the room. Most of the program went ok. I was trying to get a photo of the Eldest receiving her certificate, but right as I was taking the photo, some inconsiderate ass rammed into my arm and blurred the photo! Then the jackass had the nerve to give me a dirty look when it was he that hit me! I sighed, told myself to take the highroad and sat back down. The final straw came when the VPA Dance did their Senior Piece for the crowd and two HUGE ladies clip clopped down the aisle and blocked EVERYONE'S view so they could stand there and take photos. Now, I'm an understanding woman. I wanted photos of my daughter up there dancing too, but I would have at least knelt down so people could see!! Then I would have sat my ass back down! Not these two women! They were gonna camp out there the whole time! Finally the man sitting in front of me got fed up and walked up to ask them to sit down so we could all see. OMG! You'd have thought he asked them to murder small kittens! They let loose with Fuck you's and shut the fuck up's, and asshole's (mind you, this is during a dance performance in graduation.) Finally they went back to the back of the room again and we all sat back to watch the kids finish out their dance piece, except the potty mouthed fat asses sent one of their husbands to start picking a fight with the poor guy in front of me who only wanted to see his daughter dance on the stage! And wouldn't you know it! He is standing right in front of me! I had been nice all damn morning! I held my tongue, didn't push my way to get photos, and even loaned my camera to the ladies next to me because they forgot theirs! I had paid my dues in an auditorium filled with rude, country asses! I tapped the man on the arm and said, "I'm trying to watch my daughter on the stage. Please sit down."

Dude turns to me, sticks his finger in my face, ACTUALLY IN MY FACE, and says "Don't you touch me you bitch!"


Oh hell no! I started to jump up and was promptly snatched back by the ladies I had befriended. I think it was the only thing that kept me from slugging the guy and starting a melee right then and there! I had put up with these stupid ass fuckers enough, but I realized that the ladies were right. I didn't beat the shit outta that big black man, I did tell him he was dead wrong for pulling that shit at the kid's graduation. I sighed, sat back down, and thanked the ladies for their cooler heads, and watched the rest of the program. As the kids exited, we were once again squashed by the crush of parents cramming up the aisle! Sigh... I had had enough! I got up and started to make my way outside when I passed the Principal. I shook his hand and congratulated him on another crop of great kids, but also mentioned he may want to move to a larger venue because of the problems with crowding. I also pointed out the fellow who sat in front of me and was almost assaulted by the other man. After that I collected my daughter and we went off to Bux to have a celebratory Shaken Tea Lemonade.

Other things I saw at the Graduation:
  1. A woman who wasn't wearing a bra and really should have been!
  2. Several young women who were dressed to be in a hip hop booty shaking video. That is to say they were almost undressed!
  3. Another woman who was wearing a terry cloth pool dress cover up as an actual dress! WTF?
  4. People who had no respect for others who wanted to actually hear what was being said during the program. The talkers drove me nuts!
So, needless to say, I'm not gonna miss the parents of Booker Middle School. Most all of them were rude, crude, and socially unattractive! Hopefully, the parents of Bloomingdale High School will be a better group!

If you have read down this far, I'd like to say a hearty thank you to those who offered up their debit cards, mortgage payments, and savings to possibly bail me out of jail had I gotten into that fight. I tweeted the possibility, and in moments had several tweets back! It was greatly appreciated my friends! And also a congratulations to my Eldest! You do me proud every day baby! I love you!

Wednesday, June 1, 2011


Sigh.... I was already having a bad day, started with feeling a thump while driving the kids in to school. Turns out my right front tire sprung a bubble. So I drop them off and it was off to the tire shop. The Kingdom of Tires tried to rip me off first thing. So much for their, "We'll match any price, guaranteed!" That dude just wanted to sell me an over priced rubber doughnut! I left and brought my business to his competition. Even there though, it was expensive. Came to about $150 for 1 measly tire. Sigh. I have the brokedness now.

After that, the day just went down hill. I started thinking about everything and...

I'm just mediocre.

Now, I'm not saying this as a bid for your sympathy. God no. I made an off handed comment on FB about being mediocre and instantly got build up comments, but they just made me feel worse actually. No... I think it's time to realize that no matter what I've done in my life, it's really just been mediocre. Middle of the road. Nothing special. Looking back, I was an OK student, didn't get in trouble, kept my nose clean, and did a decent job. In my adult life, I didn't do much. Got married, had kids, worked jobs, fucked the first marriage up, got married again.... blah blah blah... Still, nothing superlative. Then take derby. I was OK when I was with SRG, because no one knew what they were doing. Now that I'm with Bradentucky, man do I suck major ass. Like bad enough that I wouldn't be surprised if they kicked my ass out. Sigh.... I need to come to terms with this mediocrity. I can be OK with it. I realize that not everyone can be great, that how we can recognize greatness when we see it. It stands out. I've been a follower most all my life, and as 40 approaches, I need to follow it as well.

The world needs us mediocre people to show them when something is great.

Still... it just sucks.