Saturday, April 30, 2011


There is no doubt.... the South got hammered like never before! As the death toll climbs and the missing list rises, we need to band together as a nation and help those who desperately need it. Saturday afternoon, I saw a tweet from fellow blogger & best roomie ever Kimmy! She is a southern girl in every sense of the word and even though we attended rival SEC schools(UF rules, Auburn drools baby!), a more decent human being can not be found. Her tweet was,

"If you haven't written a post for Sunday yet, please write one about helping with tornado recovery in the southern states."

OK, Kimmy, you got it!

alabamatornadoresponse is a wiki page that has a ton of useful information! Where to donate money, supplies, & time, shelters where people can find help, insurance contact information, and even lost/missing pet info!

United Way of Alabama 1-888-421-1266

Alabama Emergency Management Agency FB Page.

Toomers For Tuscaloosa FB Page.

Just click any of these links and you can find ways to help. Now, I sat through a small tornado outside in our truck on March 31st. It was small, maybe an EF1 or EF2, but it was nominal compared to the devastation they have up in Alabama & Georgia. Let's band together and help our fellow neighbors in need!

Friday, April 29, 2011


My knee hurts. Like really hurts. Like I wanna chop it off hurts.

On a brighter note, I got to spend the afternoon with the fabulous @CheekySweetie! She came down to check out the Ringling Museum of Art and I tagged along for the ride! It was great! We saw amazing art, bored students with ancient docents, and creepy guards. We also made bad jokes about nekkid painting subjects! It was hilarious! After the museum we hit up Panera for lunch and then it was time to go get my kids from school.

So now I am hobbling, my knee is twice it's normal size, and I'm going to bed!

Hello? Is It Me You're Looking For?

I swear to Jebus I haven't died, we are just in the process of moving again. yes, I did say moving again. See, in the field of work HHH is in there is a lot of fluidity. This, however, was a good move for us because HHH accepted a job as a supervisor here in Valrico Fl. The day I sat through a tornado outside in our truck was the day he was interviewing. I didn't want to say anything and jinx it. What's that you say? Didn't HHH get a promotion to a complex in Nebraska? Well, yes and no. We discovered a nasty little element of the company HHH had been working for in the last year. Lots of big grand promises, no delivery. See, HHH had been told he was going to be the supervisor of the property we were at at the time in Bradenton. They told him to work hard, show initiative, and he would be rewarded. So he worked his ass off. I almost never saw him. He didn't have a day off in 60 days! He was on call for all that time. Then the regional manger said, "We are going to hold a job fair for this position." Just like that. Ok then.... then they came and said to him, "Well, we know you worked hard to get the supervisor position here and since that didn't pan out, how about we promote you to supervisor at the new complex we are building in Lincoln NE? Just work really hard here so we see you deserve it!" HHH said sure, and we thought that was that, but I told him to get an offer letter to nail it down so they couldn't jack him around again. He began emailing and calling all the upper management, all the while working his ass off yet again. Finally after 2 to 3 weeks of getting passed around from manager to manager, he found out they weren't going to promote him. They also weren't going to tell him either. THEN.... the regional manager said she was going to give HHH a gift of gratitude for working those 60 days by himself and doing such a good job. HHH's property manger told him the surprise was going to be a plaque and a gift card for $250. At first the regional manger couldn't get over here to give it to him, then she "forgot it" at home, then she didn't remember she was supposed to give him anything and why was he asking?


HHH started looking for a new place to work. I don't blame him. He worked his ass off for those ingrates and got a tidy fuck you for it. So long assholes!

Now, HHH has a supervisors position in Valrico. I get to stay in FLORIDA!! And we are even closer to Orlando where we have season passes to Universal. The neighborhood is awesome, there are really good schools, and we are living rent free! (perk of being a supervisor.) Now I just have to unpack everything again. Only part that sucks is the unpacking.

So there you have it. I'm not dead, just waiting on my internet to get hooked up... and let me tell you, that's a whole other story for another time!

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Pictures From Saturday.

If I look a little red in the face, they didn't have AC in the rink and it was anywhere from 83 to 87 degrees in there! It was one hot mutha!

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

A New 'Do!

Red with blonde highlights.

Red, black, and blonde all over.
Hot pink.

I'm toying with the thought of a new hair color, style, something. Yes I am blonde and fabulous, but I really wanna cut loose again. I haven't had funky hair for an entire year now.


Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Whoo Hoo! TMI Time!!

It may be the pain pills hitting me right now, or maybe just the euphoria, but the week after Aunt Flo hits the road I am a sex machine! My hormones start kicking and I practically jump on HHH the moment he walks in the door! That will be hard this week, since HHH is working in Valrico, but lucky for me he came home last night so I could get mah "groove" on.

Any other ladies have a "sexy week"?

Monday, April 18, 2011

Like Mother, Like Daughter.

My fanny bruise......

Morgan's fanny bruise!

Like mother, like daughter I guess! It should look really good my tomorrow evening! I told her to wear it proudly. I always do!

Sunday, April 17, 2011


Now that a little time has gone by, I can take a deep breath and look at last night with a little more perspective. Not much, mind you, but a little more. See, we started out the bout with a good pace. We led by controlling the pack. We kept a lead of 20 to 30 points all first half. At half time however, things took on a slightly sinister air. Suddenly, the scoreboard mysteriously "broke". It broke after we were already in our locker room at half time. We were playing without our main coach this bout because she is about to pop out a kid at any moment, and usually she keeps track of the score to prevent any monkey business from occurring. When we came back out after the half, the scoreboard was "fixed", and the scores were suddenly closer. Closer as in theirs was higher and ours was lower, but since we hadn't kept a tally, we couldn't prove it! The next fun thing to happen was they had switched the referees! Yep, suddenly the main ref who had officiated the entire half had been "replaced". You can guess what happened next. We suddenly began losing. Bad calls abounded! The score ended up 171-148 with them winning. I was thoroughly disgusted. I have lost many bouts. Hell, the entire first season of SRG we lost every damn bout, but I have NEVER lost a bout where it felt wrong, just wrong.

And something was VERY wrong Saturday night in Daytona.

So.... after going to the after party where I did NOT get arrested for punching out the pasty asshole of a referee, Cajun Sinsation, Crash Test Barbie, and I trekked over to Kissimmee where I had a hotel room waiting for us. It was a hot tub suite, and the warm bubbling water was very nice indeed after we had been roughed up so badly. Pig was dually impressed by both the hot tub itself and the fact that all 3 of us got in it at the same time!!
Come the next day, we were finally up and about around 10am and breakfast was in order. After a quick check out, it was decided we'd hit up Cracker Barrel. Since I wasn't in my boutfit, I didn't get sat in the corner this time. Lol.... must not have looked whored up enough! As we waited for our food, Pig started playing the peg game..... he ended up winning. I captioned the photo, Pig is not an Egg-no-ra-moose!
Breakfast finally came. Pig was happy to see his biscuits and gravy. He gave me a less than happy stare as I consumed my ham and eggs. In fact, he was down right derisive! Meh... at least he got taken to breakfast! He never picks up the check!
After we got on the road though.... there was a huge traffic back up. Apparently a tour bus caught fire on the east bound I-4 and the whole shebang was backed up for MILES!!! Later we heard that no one was injured thank goodness, but I was less than thrilled at Pig's expression as he turned to me as if to say, "WTF is this traffic shit?" Sorry man, that's the price you pay for getting off the farm! Finally we got through and made decent time the rest of the way home. The radio was rocking the old school songs and Barbie, Cajun, and I were rocking out the whole way back to Bradenton! Love me a road trip with my roller girls.

And so that is how the weekend went for me!
How was yours?


I don't have words for this evening's "bout", so I give you Pig.....

Pig likes skating rinks & hot tubs, and that's all I'm gonna say about that!

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Pig About Town 2

First, Pig suggested a little jaunt to the beach, but due to an appointment that had to be kept, we had to save the beach for another day. His disappointment was palpable as we drove past the exit to the ocean's shores.
As the appointment was HHH's to keep, Pig and I waited out in the truck under the warm sun and light breeze that comes with a Floridian spring. We whittled away the time with conversation about this and that, then I suggested a game or two of Angry Birds. Pig was, shall we say, less that enthusiastic about playing this game, so we moved on to Charades and 20 Questions.

And so Pig has been out and about again. Wonder where he will go next? Perhaps Daytona, hmmmmmmm?

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

This weekend, I'm going to be in South Daytona with my beautiful Nuclear Bombshells taking on the Sintral Florida Derby Demons. Sure would be nice if a few blog fans showed up!!!


Monday, April 11, 2011

Pig About Town

This is Pig learning some bad ass yoga moves from Yakuza Girl! He seems a little puzzled as to how it's done when he has no appendages, but I'm sure he will figure it out!


Not really, but actually FCAT! Yes, it's that time again. The schools will be in full test mode all week this week. Kids will be stressed. Parents will worry. Teachers (here in Fla.) will wonder if their jobs will be at stake because of this! Sigh....

Thanks again to the over 800 McDonald's in Florida for serving a free hot breakfast to 3rd through 11th graders this Monday. It makes a long road of testing look a little shorter!

UPDATE: When the kids and I got to the McDonalds we were planning on going to for the FCAT breakfasts, We hit the drive thru, but saw a sign that said, "FCAT breakfasts need to be ordered inside please!" OK. No problem. My thoughts were leaning towards they wanted to keep the DT from getting wrapped with school kids. So we drove around and parked. We walked in and ordered and I even purchased a coffee because I just feel bad not buying anything when they are providing a healthy meal! As we waited, there was a tall woman who came inside and began LOSING HER SHIT!!!! I mean she was having a complete and total melt down! Why, you ask?


Really?!? You are going to curse and bitch about the manner in which you're getting something for FREE?? And yes, this woman was cursing with foul language in front of everyone, including children waiting in line! It seems she had ignored the sign on the drive thru ordering box that said she had to come inside, and when they wanted to charge her for the food, she went nuts! She called the poor manager every name in the book, and when the manager said Well ma'am, I thought you had read the sign.", the lady started with the most asinine rant of, "How do you know I know how to read? What if I didn't know how to read??!!" Uh, really....again?!? If you don't know how to read, I hope you wouldn't be driving. The kicker of it all was this woman, this oh so eloquent woman who used foul language and berated a simple food service employee for just doing their job......


Yes, this was a TEACHER! This foul, disagreeable ingrate was in charge of showing children how to act! I hoped she wouldn't be anywhere near MY kids anytime soon! It just goes to show that no good deed goes unpunished I guess. Luckily, we kinder, more appreciative parents far out numbered this ingrate.

I want to say again, THANK YOU MCDONALDS FOR HELPING THE MONDAY FCAT MORNING GO A LITTLE SMOOTHER.... at least, for those of us who can read!

Saturday, April 9, 2011


I have been trying to think of a few things I can post that would be quick and easy. (no snide comments please!) I've come up with a few things...

1. Local color. Take a photo of something from the local area that shows what a great place Southwest Florida is.

2. Derby Photo of the Week. I know I post a shit load of derby shots on here and in FB, but I am trying to hone my skill at photographing this high impact sport. It's fast and amazing and OMG you just have to see it live to believe it... but if you can't, you can check out a photo or two here.

3. Pig About Town. I have been discussing this with Pig, my Angry Bird buddy, and I am going to take photos of Pig all over the place! I got the idea when I took him to get the kids on Thursday and snapped a shot of him in the passenger seat. It's along the line of where someone would steal a lawn gnome or plastic flamingo and send the owner photos of where ever the thing was.... It might be interesting.

And that's about it. Just a few ideas, because as the spring rolls on, I am going to be inundated with school stuff with the kids and Derby stuff for both the kids and myself! Less time for blogging, you know....

Thursday, April 7, 2011

This Is One ....

... of my favorite photos!

Ketoacidosis & Dyna-Mo! My two little derby darlings!

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Some People Never Learn!

Dear Ex-Husband,

I sincerely hope you enjoyed reading yesterday's post about how awesome my sex life is with HHH. I guess my blog post a week or so ago was too cryptic for you. The fact that we get it on 2+ times a week after being together for 11 years is totally awesome. Beats the hell out of once a month. My derby friends on Twitter suggested I put up photos of HHH's "Equipment" so you could see what's getting my rocks off on an every other day basis, but no. That's all for me!
(Sorry ladies!)

I may make it a monthly feature to post my #'s.



(That'll teach people to go looking where they aren't wanted!)

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

What What??

I'm average to slightly above average!!

Well..... we're average to above average! Average number of times a married couple has sex is anywhere from 5 to 12 times a month.

WE'RE #8!!!

Whoo hoo. Not bad for 11 years together! And by number 8, I mean 8+ times a month!! And that doesn't include fooling around with no intercourse!! (That would have taken us off the charts!) I have been using an app to chart my lady times so I can better predict things, and a side of said app is apparently tracking your naughty times!! It's probably so you can predict fertility for optimum baby making, but my egg farm is long gone thanks to early peri-menopause so I'm using it for a "notch on the bedpost" dealeeo!

Yeah, tmi and all that! Since we're sharing though.......

How do you stack up?

Article here.

Monday, April 4, 2011

Don't You Juuuuuuudge Me!

Hi, my name is Blondefabulous...

And I watch Professional Wrestling.

Whew! That was a load off, but not really. See, it's hard enough to say you're a fan of WWE, WCW, TNA, ECW, etc without hearing some snide, dumbass remark from somewhere in the room. Usually that remark is....

"You know that's all fake, right?"

If I had a nickle for every time I have heard that, I'd have been able to afford nosebleed seats in last night's Wrestlemania!! And to be a WOMAN who follows and watches wrestling, well... that makes me an even bigger weirdo to the hipsters and cool kids. The common belief is that people who watch wrestling have several missing teeth, drive pickup trucks, and never graduated high school. I am a HS graduate, I have all my teeth, and though I do drive a truck, it's not the confederate flag flying kind with mudflaps that have Yosemite Sam saying "BACK OFF" on it!

When I started using Twitter, I saw a few other people I follow tweeting WWE tweets. Female people. EDUCATED, ELOQUENT, FEMALE PEOPLE!! I realized I wasn't alone. It was rather nice!

I watched Wrestlemania 27 last night with my family, but also with a few people online, live tweeting our comments, cheers, jeers, etc across land and sea.

And it was totally cool!

Yep, I think I'll say it again... Hi, my name is Blondefabulous and


Mock me now, bitches!

Sunday, April 3, 2011


The cake went over great! I stress so much when it comes to making stuff for people! I want it to be absolutely PERFECT! There were some hairy moments transporting it to the party site, but we got it there. I apologize in advance to all the drivers whom I annoyed by going 15 MPH under the speed limit!

The theme was football, obviously, and Vixen & her husband loved it. I now have a few people thinking of asking me for cakes in the future!

Maybe I'm not that rusty!