Sunday, October 31, 2010

Halloween 2010

I had an Army Ranger....
A Demon Derby Princess....
And a Harajuku Girl.

I got a little bit pissed off at several of the houses we went to. They were decorated. They had the lights on. When we rang, or knocked..... they said they had no candy then shut the doors in our faces.

What the FUCK??

There was even one guy who when we rang the bell, he came down the stairs to the door, the kids and I heard the door knob jiggle like the man was going to open it, they took a breath to say Happy Halloween & Trick or Treat, and then "CLICK". The man locked the door, turned the lights out on us and went back upstairs! The gall of that jackass! At least say, Sorry I don't have candy to the kids.

I do have to say that the houses that did give candy were nice. One row had people out in front of their doors so you knew they were ok to go to. One even had It's The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown playing on a DVD player in the drive way!! All in all, the kids did get some candy. Another Halloween is in the books.

Now only 55 days till Christmas!

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Date Night

After 36 days straight of working, HHH is off for the weekend. To celebrate this, we went out to dinner. HHH had been given a gift card to Stonewood Grill. I had several of the above drinks, a signature Cosmo or something like that. HHH had a few beers.
We also had some great steaks. I was trashed. Hadn't drank in so long. I was gone after the first Cosmo. I tweeted drunky, FB'ed drunky, and then we went home where after some fun time, I passed out drunky!

Now I'm hung over. Best date night ever!

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Holy Weird Ass Spooky Shit, Batman!!

Ok, I have made it known before on here about ghostly encounters I have had, such as when I lived in Memphis and experienced the floating grocery incidents courtesy of working in a building built on a Tunica Indian burial mound, and again in the bad Ju Ju house here in Sarasota. I usually just brush stuff like that off. Stuff happens. Acknowledge it, move on. Today freaked me out a little...

I had purchased a new toothbrush the other day. One of those jazzy battery powered types with the gum massagers and differently angled bristles. It is tre' fabulous! I've had it for a week or so now and because I am wired a little differently than most, I have it and my toothpaste in the shower. (I shower before bed and it just makes sense to brush my teeth while conditioning my hair.) So today I was in my bathroom doing..... uh...... bathroom things when I hear a noise. A weird pulsing noise. At first I thought the lawn guys were outside, but they come on Tuesday, not Thursday. Then I look around and I realize it's coming from the shower. I call in my daughter (I am SO brave!) and make her stand in the doorway as I throw open the shower curtain and look to see what is making the noise.....

It's the tooth brush!

More importantly, it's the tooth brush that has a toggle switch where you have to push down really hard to get it to switch on! The tooth brush that suddenly has decided to go slap ass crazy! I reach up to grab it off the shelf and I press the off side of the toggle switch.

Nothing. It is already in the OFF position.

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot!?!

My daughter gets really huge eyes as I have to switch the tooth brush on, then off again to get it to stop making noise. I take a deep breath, think with my rational mind, and say to myself, "Well, maybe keeping it in the shower wasn't a good idea. The dampness may have addled it.". So to alleviate this, I place it on the bathroom counter.

Later we leave to go to a party the complex is having to raise funds for breast cancer research. HHH volunteered me to help out and I manned the dessert table for the duration. It turned out well and they raised $165 in donations. After helping to clean up, we rode back to the house and got ready to get in the shower. I looked to the counter to grab my tooth brush......

And it was gone!

A quick search revealed it to be on the floor across the bathroom from where I had placed it earlier.

Once more, with feeling... Whiskey Tango Foxtrot!!!!!

I may be getting a new tooth brush.
(Unless this is some elaborate prank by HHH and my children.)

Happy Halloween Everyone!

Wednesday, October 27, 2010


Dude.... I got a shit load of them! I am afraid of eating by myself, meeting new people, putting myself on the line, making decisions, traveling myself, etc etc etc.... One would think I am a shut in chained to my computer, but I'm not. I actually had a (till recently) rewarding job, I play a team sport in front of hundreds of fans, and I have traveled to other cities to meet people I didn't know. You could say I'm a work in progress, so to speak. No 38 year old woman should be afraid of so much.

Now I want to step it up a few hundred notches. The photo above is for a skating tournament in Hawaii. Yes. You read that right..... HAWAII! It's not a regular invitational because since it is in Hawaii, most derby teams can't afford to take a whole roster over. The SK808 puts together teams of individuals who sign up. You skate with people you don't even know!! You have to be on the ball, use everything you have, and be observant.

Now, how many fears of mine does that cover?

  1. Travel by myself.
  2. Meeting new people.
  3. Eating by myself.
  4. Air Travel
  5. Air travel over a LARGE body of water!!!

Holy crap!! What the hell am I thinking?!? Oh yeah....I want to be a whole person. Whole people don't cower at the thought of doing something exciting.

Here's to becoming whole!

Monday, October 25, 2010

I Got Nothing......

Practice for derby tonight kicked my ass. It doesn't help that my left calf keeps popping, then cramping up. It hurts like a bitch, then is annoying for the rest of the night. Augh.....

Time to go put on my favorite scent.... Eau de Icy Hot!!

Sunday, October 24, 2010

What Now?

Yeah.... I don't really have anything to chat about right now. I spent most of Sunday in bed, sleeping. When you don't have a job you can do that. I think I was still tired from Prom on Saturday night. We didn't stay late, but when you're used to being home all the time, that going out really wears you out.

Ha ha ha...... I love being able to say, "when I don't have a job.". That is so choice. Granted, HHH is killing himself because he has no help here at work and he has put in 125 hours in 2 weeks. Yes, that equals an extra week of work in the two weeks time. He's looking at an $1800.00 pay day on Thursday. I'm worried they are working him to death though.... he says no but we'll see.

So that's what's going on. How about you guys??


HHH and I went to Bradentucky's prom last night. Prom is the season end awards ceremony and celebration. Even though this illegal alien had only been around for a couple of months, I was invited to come as well.... and bring a date!! HHH and I got dressed up and headed over to the local DAV for the festivities.
There was even a balloon arch for photo op's!! Awesome! I took photos with HHH, Prosehack, and Yakuza. The one above is Yakuza and I. She's the amazing trainer who has been kicking my butt in boot camp!!!
And this is the awesome medallion I got for being a Bomber! Way awesome! I feel so included!!!
And this was the balloon arch! It was all so cool. Everyone brought food, and since there are people besides me who have Celiac's disease, there was food I could eat too! I brought gluten free brownies. They were really well received! The display was empty when I went back to get my tray!

All in all, it was a fun evening of dancing, food, and friends. It's awesome that the ladies of Bradentucky have accepted me into their fold. It's so cool.

Can't wait till the 2011 season starts!

Thursday, October 21, 2010


Not from the loss of my beloved Bun, even though that still stings a little, but from the grinding pain in my joints right now. It's the ache I get every month heralding Aunt Flo's imminent arrival.

Pain. Lot's of pain. It's what I have right now.

Send Tylenol and wine!!!

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Requiem For A Bunny.

Mr. Bun passed away today. It was probably more like last night, but that would just be splitting hares.

Bad joke, yes I know, but I have to do something to help alleviate the air of sadness around here. I went out to the cage to open it up and feed Mr. Bun this morning and he wasn't moving. I did the obligatory poke with a stick and pronounced Mr. Bun Passed on to another plane of existence. I called HHH and broke the news to him and he came over to collect the body and cage. All that was left was to tell the kids after school. Yeah.... that went over like a lead balloon. The eldest was OK with it, but the two munchkins were in tears the whole trip back to the house from school.

This actually wasn't unexpected. When we got Mr. Bun he was almost starved to death,and even though the vet said he was recovering nicely, we were warned that the stress of being starved could have dire effects on his internal systems. We were told Mr. Bun may not have the life expectancy of a normal healthy rabbit. I guess the vet was right, but I know Mr. Bun was happy during his time with us. I know he was well fed, watered and cared for. He had love lavished upon him and he died in his sleep hopefully dreaming bunny dreams of contentment.

And for those of you keeping score.... This is the same time Toby died, to the day.


Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Who Am I?!?

I just don't know anymore!! LOL, I say this because I ran today. Not ran from or to something.... I actually got my butt in the gym and ran. Now I have been running here and there, but I haven't really been able to be serious about it because I was always crazy as Hell at work. Now that work is no longer in the equation, I have time to take an hour or so for me and just zone out to the iPod and go.

That's what I did today. I started out slow, basically walking really fast then I ramped up the treadmill and just took off at an easy pace. I just kept going and going till I looked down and an hour had gone by. I had run for an entire hour!!! I was surprised!! So I slowed down and stopped the machine and checked the distance and it said 3.6 miles. Holy crap!! 3.6 miles?? In 60 minutes??? That's farther than I have ever really gotten before, (that I knew of). I'm thinking of maybe working on training for a half marathon eventually. That can be a far off goal for me. In the present I will go for 4 miles in 1 hour. Baby steps people... baby steps.

So,.... who is this woman that I see in the mirror?? She plays Roller Derby! She goes to fitness boot camp! She runs for fun! She is healthier than she has been in 10 years!!!

Oh yeah..... that's me!


After a weekend that had a major shake up, I'm back. Did ya miss me?? Yeah didn't think so. Here's a few things.....

  • Didn't get to meet the fabulous DutchBitch. I'm a little upset about that. The reason was something extremely personal, and I had to go back home before the celebratory lunch that was being held Sunday, but I hear it was awesome.
  • I finally got some of our Halloween decorations up. It's only almost Halloween already. And just in time for me to start my 6 week biggest loser program at boot camp! FML!
  • And speaking of Boot Camp,.... that starts today, but I have been watching what I eat starting yesterday. And I am talking I have been measuring out shit in Cups, tablespoons, and deck of cards size comparisons! I'm not starving, but it is interesting to see what a real portion size is. Many restaurants have us brainwashed as to what a proper portion size is. They serve you something that is the equivalent of 3 adult portions of food!! And we wonder why America has a HUGE bottom line!
  • There is prom on Saturday. Prom is the year end celebration for my new derby team. They invited me, even though I have only skated one bout with them. I think I'm gonna dress up if HHH and I go. There may be some kid things going on, but the teacher can't decide if she's moving dates for that stuff. We shall see.
  • I am enjoying the time off from work. It's awesome. I'm going to do some running, I was going to swim, but it got cold. This is in addition to the house work and errands. Awesome.
And that's it for now.

Saturday, October 16, 2010


I've decided against a Halloween costume this year. It's juvenile. I'm a 38 year old woman. I need to start acting my age. Thank you for your votes.

Friday, October 15, 2010


My nice little old lady almost died on me today.

I Got to her house 20 minutes early. I rang the bell, over and over. I knocked a little. After waiting 10 minutes I started to call her phone number when I looked in the window and saw her sitting down in her easy chair. I waved, and I thought I saw her wave me in. I go to open the door and it is chained still. I undo the chain and come in and as we are talking I start looking at her. I listen to her speech patterns. She is having trouble speaking. She is cold. Her hands are shaking. She's pale.

She is diabetic.

I recognize that she is slipping into a severe diabetic low. If this continues, she will slip into a coma. I've seen it in my own diabetic children. I know just how serious it is! I run to the fridge, but she has no glucagon emergency kit. Shit! Shit! Shit! I grab a bottle of OJ out of the fridge, and get it to her fast, and just to be sure, I get her a bottle of Ensure too! While she's drinking it, I sit with her and we chat. She fell again last Saturday. She was in the hospital again. After a while, she was more alert and better aware. I went about actually cleaning the home. I was there for a little over 3 hours, but I know she was grateful for me to be there.

I finish up, and she asks me if I can come back later and get her some frozen dinners from the grocery store and pick up her medicine at the pharmacy. She looks so weak, so tired... I agree to come back after I pick up the kids from school. While driving to get the kids, I put in a call to the daughter of my nice little old lady. I tell her of this mornings events and reassure her that all is well, but to put in a call to Mom just in case. I get back an hour and a half later. I stayed a little longer than I probably should have. It's hard not to. My soft heart can't help it. She has no one else.

Till the next two weeks when I come back to clean.


So, it is the last day of the first week of no working.... and I feel like I'm still working. Why do I feel like that? Well, I still get up at 5:30am. I have to to get the kids up and to school on time. The dog also appreciates being walked outside before he pees himself. Also, I am going in to get supplies to clean my little old lady's I said I would still do that for them.

So I have unpacked a little, tried to get things in order a little, met with a few teachers, and basically relaxed.

So far it's ok.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010


Holy Hell! Had something happen today that has really got me thinking there are crazy people everywhere and no where, no matter how nice it looks, is safe.

The kids and I had spent an hour or two at the pool. The weather was lovely, sunny and warm with a light breeze. It was great. After a time, we headed back to the house because I needed to get dinner started. About 20 minutes after we got home I get a text from HHH that said..

"Check my last Tweet."

OK. I go back to Twitter on my phone and look up his last tweet. It said, and I quote..

"OMFG!! Just had a resident at my pool naked playing with herself with a big purple dildo!!"

Um... baby say what??

WTF!!?? Who the hell does shit like that?? A little later I started getting more information. Seems it was a woman who had imbibed in a few illegal drugs, mixed it with some alcohol, and then probably went a little wacko. Anyway, someone else at the pool noticed all this and went into the office to tell the property staff, who check it out then called the cops. Once the cops got there they recognized the woman was high as a kite and sent her to the hospital so they could detox her before taking her to jail. At this moment, she is scheduled for immediate eviction.

I'm sorry, but I don't think I was EVER so messed up that I wanted to get it on with sex toys at a public pool. Even when I was in college and on a trip to New Orleans during the Sugar Bowl and I drank from one end of Bourbon Street to the other.... I was NEVER that drunk and messed up.

It just makes you say, What the F*ck??!!

Anything like that ever happen to you guys??

Tuesday, October 12, 2010


At this exact moment, I am doing the happy dance! (Which looks really funny since I am also typing on the computer!) Are you guys ready??


I have lost 6 pounds, 2% of my total body fat, and

13 INCHES!!!!!

That is amazing!! Yakuza said I may hold the record for her boot camps with inches lost! And the crazy part is, it may even be more than 13 inches. We were doing fractions and trying to do them quickly before the camp started and well.... I'm not good at fractions. I'm not so worried about the pounds total because along with losing fat, I was gaining muscle from skating and exercise. I am definitely re-upping for the next month. No way I'm gonna get off this train when it's doing me so good!

Monday, October 11, 2010

Can't Wait!

Tomorrow I am going to get weighed and measured. I am going to see how my month of Boot Camp has paid off. I have already seen how it has been working in the way my pads from derby are falling off, my smaller clothes in my closet are fitting, and the fact that ....


Hell's yeah! I have a waist! I am so freakin' excited about that fact!

Photo's will follow!! Stay Tuned!

Brand New Day.

So this morning I am not going in to work. I got up at 5:30am like usual, but I didn't dress for work. I threw on some warm up pants and an old fraternity jersey and got busy getting the kids up and moving. I even cooked them breakfast, something I usually have no time for. Then it was off to school. We had a leisurely drive in, dropped everyone off with plenty of time to spare, then I drove back home. Huh.... back home. Haven't said that in over a year and a half! And the thing that is unsettling about that is when I got the job at the cleaning company, I was so excited to join the work force again. I felt productive, alive, useful..... Not that I'm not going to be useful here at home, but I just felt like super woman being able to do it all. Then, as most things do, change entered the picture and though I tried to adapt, eventually it got the better of me. It's sad that that can happen. It's sad that you can enjoy something so much, but yet it gets ruined by someone else's vision of how things should be. Had Boss Lady not tried to take advantage of me and work me into the ground, I may still be there.

So, I am planning to spend quality time with my family this week. The kids need more time spent with them on their homework. I need to finish unpacking the boxes in the house,(it's been a month!), and I am going to spend time at the pool.

One thing I am NOT happy about is we had a family weekend set up for the weekend of the 15th. HHH and I were going to go to HHN20 on Friday, then take on the parks on Saturday, and on Sunday there was Bitchlando where I would finally get to meet the fabulous DutchBitch! It was going to be a stellar weekend all around! Now..... ugh! I am so angry because HHH now has to work and be on call! His immediate supervisor apparently has some sort of health issue where he is having surgery after surgery. I'm not upset at the supervisor for becoming ill.... but the company can't even find a temp for the weekend. Last pay period alone HHH put in 110 hours!! Holy Hell! He is going to get burnt out, I just know it. So now, I am going to go up on Saturday afternoon, spend some time at the park with Cissa, and then go to BitchLando on Sunday as planned before going home Sunday evening. I refuse to go to HHN20 without HHH. I wanted to do that with him. SO now I has a sad. Cissa and I will be having fun though. WWoHP with no kids and possibly dinner at the 3 Broomsticks. Can't wait!

And no..... there will be no French Maid costume for this trip.

Saturday, October 9, 2010


So.... Friday evening I hurriedly changed clothes to go out and grab a few things from the store. Just for shits and giggles I grabbed one of my smaller pairs of jeans and a shirt from the back of the closet. You know, the spot waaaaaaaaay in the back that all the stuff you usually don't fit in, but still wanna keep sits? Yeah, there.

And it fit!

Yes, ladies and gentlemen.... it all fit. The jeans even had some room in them! Hot damn! I have to credit it all towards Yakuza Girl's boot camp. She has been kicking my ass twice a week and working us ladies in the camp all into shape. It has worked too! I am in small, cutsey stuff I haven't worn in months. I am re-upping for next month too. I can't wait till my weigh in and measurements. I wanna see my improvement. The only draw back I have is I don't fit in my derby pads anymore. I had to use red duct tape at the last bout to keep them on and in place or they would have slipped off! Time to go shopping!! Whoo hoo!

And I can't wait till I get my French Maid costume too!

Heh heh......

Friday, October 8, 2010

I Have..

..... Quads that are defined in my legs! I have strength in my entire body I didn't have before!

I slid into my skinny jeans and top today and looked HAWT!

Eventually..... I'll need a whole new wardrobe!

In other news... Boss lady called today .... on my LAST day at work and asked me to stay on. I thought it was funny. I told her for me to stay, she would have to start my day at 8, end it by 2pm, and give me and my partner all the high profile clients, i.e. all the VIP's. She said that was possible, and I said HHH and I would talk it over this weekend and get back to her. It's possible... It's good that I can call my shots if I want to.

I'm gonna think on that.....

Thursday, October 7, 2010

What I'll Miss.....

  • I'll miss the animals. Is it sad I know the names of all the animals at the houses I go to. I may not know the people's names, but I know, Molly, Pugly, Cocobelle, Boccelli, and all the other babies I call sweet pea and pumpkin, and all the other baby names I call them.
  • I'll miss a few of the girls. I'll miss E and Mommielicious. I won't miss Boss Lady.
  • I'll miss the pleasure of knowing I have done a great job. It may sound stupid, but when I clean something with in an inch of it's life, I get a sense of satisfaction like no other. I like being able to go into a pig sty of a house and put it all into where it needs to be.
  • I'll miss the toasters. I love those little cars. They are so zippy and quick. I liked being able to juke around old people and idiots who can't drive.
  • The sense of accomplishment I got from starting at the bottom and working my way to the top. I really wish I hadn't been taken advantage of all of last year, because I'd have liked to stay with the company for when it expands into other cities. I know it will if Boss Lady gets her head out of her ass. I'd have liked being a regional manager.
So there you have it! Friday is my last day!

See ya!

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

What To Wear, What To Wear....

Yes, ladies and gentlemen.... Halloween. The time when you get to be something you're not! Well... I'm gonna be something I just left!
That's right kids!Go with what you know, eh?
Now the problem of which one to pick. Goth Maid? Slutty Maid?? Sluttier Maid??? Ooooooh! I know! I'll do a poll! Vote early and vote often people!!! I've been doing boot camp and will have been doing that for 60 days when Halloween rolls around. Damnit! I'm gonna look hot!


Tuesday, October 5, 2010


Font sizeSo I have a reminder from Saturday's bout with Gold Coast. Isn't it yummy?? Just the size of a Radar Red Diamond wheel.

I wondered why my shin was sore!

Monday, October 4, 2010


Tonight was a blast. We had a team meeting, and then it was skate time. Monday night was especially awesome because we had Betties at practice! For the uninformed, Betties are new girls who come out to an evaluation, then if they like what they saw, they are invited to training practices. There was a group of about 8 to 10 there tonight. They were practicing on their own with the trainer staff while we were doing our stuff. Finally, practice broke up... it was still before the usual time, so I put in the iPod and was skating around to some killer tunes. Suddenly I hear my name over the music. It was Prosehack. She was setting up a game of freeze tag. Now, freeze tag is hard enough, add in skates and it becomes a blast! You can skate in any direction, zip anywhere you want.... but if you're tagged, you have to freeze till someone crawls through your legs.

I was asked to be it, along with one of the "guy" Betties. Heh, heh...... I counted to ten after the Betties took off and then it was ON! I'm not the fastest girl in the bunch, but I was doing pretty good! To make it even more fun, I started calling out "BAZINGA" every time I tagged someone.




It was great!
At one time I had almost everyone tagged. Then I looked up and saw HHH waiting on me. I thanked them for the game and took off for the benches to throw off my gear and head back to the car.

Ha ha ha.....


Sunday, October 3, 2010

It's That Time Again....

Got the Halloween stuff out of the garage today.

Time to start getting it up!

Begin Again.

So I made my debut with Bradentucky last night. It wast tre' awesome! I even dyed my hair with Fire Engine Red streaks. I sucked sooooo bad though. Haven't skated bouts since the Jacksonville thing and Oh... Mai...GAWD! I am sore this morning. The bout was all the way in Ft Lauderdale and I rode over in the team rental van. I got to talk and bond with several of the girls on Bradentucky. We had Mo Fo, Yakuza, Calamity Jam, GiGi RaMoan, and me. The 3 and a half hour trip went by and we were getting ready for the bout at El Pollo Loco. It was pretty loco alright! We were getting all sorts of funny looks from the indigenous peoples there! What?? You never seen hot women in short skirts and fishnets people??!! Then we got to the bout venue and the A/C was out. Yep. Skating as hard as we could in 85 degrees was intense. A good thing was when we got to find out the other team had personal masseuses for each team bench! SCORE!
After getting our asses handed to us, we went to the after party at a sports car called Slackers. (It was OK till I saw the Gator game on 5 screens!) There was food, drinks, and a good time. Then the long drive back to Bradenton. I think we got home about 2am. I was so tired! I fell into bed as soon as I got home.

HHH woke me up about 11am and I got moving. SLOWLY! Holy hell! I am now feeling the effects of not having been in a bout for a while. Still, it was exciting and fun. I am so psyched about my new team, and they seem just as excited about having me too! I even got a gift bag from my Secret Sister!!

I think this was a great start!