Sunday, August 15, 2010

People of the Pool.

I know you guys have all seen those sights like "People of Wal-Mart", People of the Park", etc etc ad nauseum..... Well, I got another one we need to add....

PEOPLE OF THE POOL

Yep. People of the Pool. Where the strange, deranged, and totally inappropriate are trotted out for the world to see. Now, I went to the pool at HHH's work with the kids today while he had some work that needed to get done. While I was there, I saw several people that could have qualified as "People of the Pool" material. People such as.....

  • The Over Tanned Old Man: This guy thinks he is awesome down to the very core of their being. He hits the pool on every sunny, and not so sunny day, soaking up the damaging rays in an attempt to look young and rejuvenated, when in fact, he looks older and creepy.
  • The Hot Chick: This is typically a girl in her late teens to early twenties, wearing little more than a couple band aids held together by dental floss. She slinks up to the most visible part of the pool, sets up her pool float, and suns for about 1 hour, or until she gets a call about something more pressing she has to be scantily clad at.
  • The Two Old Friends: These ladies are middle aged, divorced, and beginning life anew together, kinda like Thelma & Louise. They will loudly discuss politics, religion, and sex, no matter who is around them, be it families with kids, people who really don't care, or people who don't wanna know. If you child comes up to you at the pool and asks "Mommy, what's a Yielding Vine position?", then they got a little too close to the Two Old Friends.
  • The Anti- Social Moms: These ladies take their kids to the pool and then let them run hog wild on everyone else. Splashing, screaming, running, knocking shit over..... yeah they don't care what their precious little darlings do. As far as they're concerned, those atrocious crotch spawn of doubtful heritage can do no wrong and if you dare even glare at them when you get monsooned on by a splash fight the little brats are having, well.... be prepared for a screaming match. These ladies travel in pairs or trios, with two to three kids each, making this a very annoying hurdle to a relaxing pool day.
I saw all of these and more, but then HHH was done working, and we left to go home, which was probably good because we forgot our sun screen. I do have to say that my children were complimented by a few others at the pool who said how well behaved they were. Yes, I believe in discipline and manners, no matter where we are and I teach my kids respect for themselves and others. Of course, I could just as easily end up on "People of the Pool" myself.... I happened to look down at my legs as I was sunning and I noticed that my right leg is wildly more defined muscularly than my left. It's the skating. So I guess I'd fall under the "Weird 1/2 Muscled Woman" title. Guess I need to start skating the other direction more!

1 comment:

Russ said...

Pictures damnit, pictures! Especially of the 'hot chick'!