Saturday, June 26, 2010

Thank You For Being A Friend.

I don't have a lot of friends.

In real life.

At. All.

Sounds weird, but ever since leaving high school, I have always been sort of a loner. I had two really good friends in high school, then after graduation and moving on to college,...... zip. It was strange. I knew I wasn't one of the popular kids growing up, but it didn't bother me that much. I sort of believed in quality over quantity. I grew up in a very small town, so I got to know the kids I went to school with well over the years. You knew what to expect. It wasn't like that in the real world.

College was an experiment in the new. New people, new places, new life! I was trying to fit in as best as one could. I was in the marching band (yes, a band geek.), and I attended parties and study groups. Still, I didn't really make any lasting friendships with anyone. Most of the girls I made friends with in my residence hall and classes kind of faded or ditched me all together after a few months. I started thinking that maybe I wasn't using enough deodorant or something till I stepped back and saw that the same thing was happening to everyone. OK, no biggie..... moving on.

After collage, I tried to make friends, and I learned people are never to be taken at face value. I had people who would be so great to my face, then stab me in the back as soon as I turned around. I had people steal from me, take advantage of my good nature, and use me till they didn't need me then dump me. It was an awesome lesson. I had to drop my Pollyanna view of people. Ya know, those guidance counselors really do us a disservice in school saying the world is an oyster waiting for us.... they forgot to tell us about all the garbage strewn around the oyster beds!

Now, being the boss at work and having to move around with HHH's job, friendships are even harder to come by. Can't really be neighborly because something may happen and we'll have to move. The girls at work have been finding me on Facebook too, but I have been avoiding that trap like syphilis. Never, never, never NEVER mix work and home. Not a good thing.

That brings me to the internet. I luvz me some internet buddies. It sounds sad, but you guys remember my birthday, anniversary, (w/the help of facebook.), and even helped me through the sadness that was my puppy dying. Weird that a real human can let me down, but digital people can bring me right back up. And while I can really only count two good friends since my days in school, I can count so many now in a friends list and smile.

(insert goofy grin here.)


Finn said...

I don't think one needs a lot of friends, just a few that she can really trust. It's certainly easier to keep track of that way.

But I love my virtual friends too. They are the ones who are with me every day!

Cissa Fireheart said...

You have me...I get to be your real life friend because we met through the internet!

In fact, friend, I can't wait to see you this weekend! :-)

Bec said...

There is a part of me that wants to snort and say 'pah! She's awesome, how could she not have a lot of friends!' but I totally know where you are coming from. Life is difficult and the retention of people becomes hard when you are changing things in your life a lot.

I love the internet as it does help you keep track of people better. I don't know what I would have done without my peeps online over the last few years - yourself included - you have really made life worthwhile and awesome all at the same time.

Big virtual hugs to you!

Bubblewench said...

I could have written that post. Pre-Blogging, I had very very few friends, no one close either.

I'm here for you friend! Hugs & love to you!