Thursday, June 3, 2010

How Do I Do It?


Someone asked me a very good question tonight at derby practice.

"If you have Celiac's disease, what the hell were you doing at Krystal's the other night like it said in your Facebook status?"

Well.....when you have Celiac's you kinda have to adjust things a little when you go out with the family for dinner. The non Celiacers in this family out number me and Mo 3 to 2. Most chain large restaurants have a gluten free menu now, and even if they didn't, most places have grilled meat and steamed veggies. That's easy. Now going out to eat fast food is TOTALLY different. Here's what usually happens.....

Them: "Hello this is Generic Burger Joint,may I take your order?"

Me: "Yes please. I'd like a 1/4 lb burger meal with no bun, and the cheese burger kids meal with no bun, then a #1 and two #2's please."

Them: "Uh... what was that again?"

ME: "I need a 1/4 lb burger meal with OUT the bun and a kids meal with OUT the bun, then a #1 and two #2's."

The,: "What do you mean no bun?"

Me: I mean no bun. My daughter and I are allergic to gluten and we can't eat the bun without becoming ill."

Them: "No way!!!???"

Me: "Yes way."

Them: "Really??"

Me: "Really."

Them: "Man, that has to really suck huh?"

Me: "Yep. Thanks for mentioning that. My daughter and I just love it."

Them: "Cough... cough.... uh, let me get that order up for you. Would you like any funnel cake sticks or apple pie with that?"

Me: "Sigh........"


And it goes on like that. A lot of times, if I know ahead that the place has brain dead morons working there, I'll just order the damn meal and remove the bread myself. It gets old, but I think back a few years to when no one knew what the hell Celiac's disease even was and I get over it. Sometimes I get a really sympathetic manager or something and I get my burger fresh made in a little container with a knife and fork! Whoo hoo for days like that, but most times if I'm in a hurry, I just get a large fries and a coke. Potato and drink, can't go wrong there.

God I miss a greasy burger with a nice fluffy bun though.

1 comment:

Russ said...

You could just tell them that you are on the Atkins diet. Hell, most generic burger joints were serving their 'food' sans buns just for them. That way you won't have the discussion above anymore.

Or you could just look at it as you are educating these poor schleps about how a group of people are forced to live.