Saturday, January 23, 2010

Asshats & Ambulances.

Now that I have a full time job, I LIVE for the weekends. I live for when I can sleep in past 5:30am. To be able to luxuriate in my tall, comfy bed is just the absolute best, therefore, when I am awakened by the asinine antics of our upstairs neighbors at 5:30 in the morning, I am considerably pissed off. Not even just pissed off.... I am down right A-N-G-R-Y!!!

The idiots had already been making a shit ton of noise earlier. I guess they were getting ready to go out for the evening or something to that effect. They scraped and clattered and stomped all over the place for a good hour or so right around 9pm. After that it was quiet because they finally left. Enter 5:30am.....
I hear this huge thud, several smaller thuds, and a woman's scream. Then there was some running around, more screaming, yelling, and more thudding. I got up to use the bathroom, looked at the clock, saw it was 5:30am and got pissed. I was headed back to bed when I heard the whimper of my children. All the fighting and screaming had awakened my two younger kids. They were scared and crying.

OH HELL FUCK NO!

In the past we have called the courtesy officer for the apartment complex when the upstairs neighbors have been being stupid. That was back when the courtesy officer was a real cop. The guy we have now is a mall rent a cop who can't do a damn thing besides knock on the doors and threaten to call the cops himself. I wasn't going to deal with that shit. I was pissed off now. Livid! It's one thing to ruin my morning of sleeping in, it's quite another to wake my children and scare them. I had enough of that crap when we lived in Memphis. I slammed on my slippers, threw open the door, and stomped upstairs.

BANG BANG BANG!

No answer.

BANG BANG BANG!
Check Spelling

Finally, the door opens. It's the guy. He has what looks to be the beginnings of a black eye and some facial bruising. I had the urge to call him Tiger, but was too angry at that moment. Instead I went off on him.....

"Look here.... I don't give a good God mother fuck damn what the hell you do up here but you need to knock it the fuck off! You woke up my kids with this bullshit and now they're scared! My husband has been nice. I have been nice, but I swear to fucking God if you keep this shit up I am gonna call 911 and have every fucking cop I can get here. KNOCK IT THE FUCK OFF ASSHOLE!!!!"

And with that I went back downstairs and inside. I was so fucking angry I was shaking. No one makes my kids scared. I will cut a bitch for that, do not doubt it! I get back in bed with HHH and he tells me he checked on the kids while I was upstairs and everyone was OK and going to try and go back to sleep. It was dead silent from then on. Apparently I am a scary bitch at 5:30am.

Enter 6:30am.

I have never forgotten the sound. The sound of a child having a seizure in their sleep from having a drastic low blood sugar! You never forget that sound. I could hear it all the way across the apartment coming from Junior's room. He was low, terribly low. We aren't too sure how low, but HHH brought him out to the living room and I began to pump 3 Glucagon's into him, butt cheek first! Yes, I know 3 is a little bit of overkill, but some of them didn't mix up right so we had to try again. He turned out to be 72 in 10 minutes after the first Glucagon was shot in. I called 911 for good measure and had the EMT's check him out at the apartment. I was extremely grateful they finally opened the new fire station right down the road. The EMT's were here in no time. Junior was responding by the time they got to our apartment and after some breakfast and a nap with his mama, Junior was all better and back to his normal goofy kid self.

So the moral of the story here is:

A. Don't piss off a roller girl Mom when she can kick your ass for scaring her kids.
and
B. There is a reason for everything.

3 comments:

Poppy said...

B has been my motto since at least my early 20s.

I am very happy he's ok again.

And regarding your venture upstairs, *standing ovation*

phinz said...

WHY didn't you live in my building when I had my condo???!
You are MY kind o' neighbor!

Glad the little boy is okay!

Chocl8t said...

Remind me not to piss you off!! LOL Handle your business girlfriend!!!