Sunday, January 31, 2010

Incredible Shrinking Woman.

As you read in yesterday's blog, HHH and I took the kids shopping yesterday. We went to the outlet mall in Ellenton and they got some nice clothes for when we got out to dinner, or for nice parties with their friends, etc etc etc..... While we were there I brow beat HHH into getting some new clothes too. I S-W-E-A-R that man can ruin anything in the span of two weeks! I threatened him within an inch of his life that if he ruined the new clothes he got I would withhold sex for a freakin year!! I think he got my point. As we strolled along we came up to Lane Bryant and I ducked in to see what was new.

Um.... what's new is I can't shop there anymore.

Now, this isn't a bad thing. One might even say it's good. See, Lane Bryant has clothes for women sized 14 and up.

I'm apparently a 12 now.

A year ago I was a size 20. I regularly shopped at Lane Bryant. Their clothes are beautiful!! Who ever does their designing is totally awesome! I made my wedding trousseau up out of their spring summer collection of that year. Now.... I don't belong there anymore. Boo! No fun. I was disappointed because I saw such pretty spring blouses and capris! HHH was telling me it was a good thing, to have shrunk so much I no longer fit into a favorite store. I was sad though. Lane was my girl! She was the friend I stole favorite looks from. She had pretty nighties to entice HHH with! And she had shit that fit me! I'm talking F-I-T. And I looked hot, no matter what size I was. Now though, she had nothing left in her closet for me.

So, with a little trepidation, I followed HHH over to the GAP. The Gap wasn't a great store for me. Their commercials showing overly happy, skinny dancers just didn't speak to me. I was nervous. What if I look like a complete dork? What if I try to put together something and I look stupid? I don't do well when I'm out of my comfort zone. I go from rack to rack, my daughters encouraging me with, ""Mom! Pick that it looks so cool!", or "Hey Mom, try this shirt!". Finally, I gathered a couple of things together and started towards the fitting rooms. First, I was surprised that the fitting rooms at that GAP were co-ed. When the hell did THAT happen?!? Then...... OMG! I was putting on size 12 bottoms and large tops!! LARGE! Not XL, not Plus.... just plain old large! I picked out an outfit and HHH took it to the register for me. He knew he had to do that because I would find a way to talk myself out of it. It was awesome.

On Sunday, HHH wanted to go riding over to Whole Foods on the motorcycle. It was a little nippy out so I went to put on my jeans. Yeah... they fell off. So after the Whole Foods run, we went to Old Navy for jeans for me, once again, in size 12. I haven't been a 12 since before Junior was born!

Just call me Lily Tomlin!

Saturday, January 30, 2010


Woke up at 7am. Went to breakfast at cracker barrel. Went shopping for new clothes and shoes for the kids. Found some awesomely hawt clothes for HHH. Had a nice lunch. Got dressed for dinner. Had a really yummy Mai Tai. Had an even yummier steak. Am now at home cuddling on the couch watching DVR stuff.

Best. Saturday. Evar!

Friday, January 29, 2010


I am gonna be busy this weekend. We got our motorcycle today. For the next two days we'll be out riding it, putting it through it's paces, checking it out. We have 30 days to make sure everything works properly. This is going to be a fun process. I missed my motor cycle. I rode one in college and it was some of the best fun I ever had.

So in conclusion...... Got a motorcycle, Gobo is still too damn cute, and I got a new hairdo! More photos to follow later.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Take My Puppeh To Work Day!

So, today I took Gobo to work with me. I didn't want him to be alone on his first day with us. Plus I didn't want the cat to treat him badly while we were gone. Fluffy isn't quite used to having another fuzzy around. I figure that over the weekend he'll be OK with it and by monday everything will be OK. All of my girls oooh'd and aaaaah'd over Gobo. One of them wanted to steal Gobo. I made sure my baby boy stayed with mama. Towards lunch time he started getting tired and I wrapped him up in his blanket and let him sleep on my lap while I did paperwork. He was soooooo cute!

Finally it was time to come home and Gobo has been playing with the kids and messing with the cat all night! Now he's asleep in the laundry basket looking so sweet it will cause tooth decay in anyone watching!

S'cuse me. I need to go brush my teeth.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

So Random.

  • My back was hurting today from having to clean at the uber bitches house yesterday. It was unfortunate thatI also had an estimate today. Had to be dressed nicey nice. That also meant heels. Funny thing though, after a few hours, my back felt better. Who knew sparkely heels would make my back all better??
  • MY SHOES DON'T FIT ANY MORE!!!! I keep losing weight in my feet and my shoes are too big now!!! Holy crap! I have some nice shoes too! Pretty, sparkely, pretty shoes that are now too damn big! Shit!
  • On the plus side, I can go shoe shopping!
  • I am watching "Whip It" right now.
  • I should be picking up Gobo soon.
  • Did I mention I need to go shoe shopping?
  • I have my boss convinced that we need to dump the Crazy Lady in search of new clients. After the tales I had to recount to her yesterday, she was more than ready to consider acquiring new clients. I have been actually talking current clients into upping their clean count. Like going bi monthly from monthly or weekly from bi monthly. The more money I can bring in, the faster I can dump Uber Bitch.
  • I need chocolate. Aunt Flo must be getting ready to come.
That's all for now. Thanks for playing.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Pains & Heros.

I was right. The crazy client lady was in her glory. She had us stay 2 extra hours with her crazy requests, stupid stuff, and extra cleaning! I had to call and reschedule our second house because of that shit! Now, thanks to all the hands and knees scrubbing for that heinous bitch my back is seriously trying to go out! I kid you not, my spine, right where it goes into my pelvis, feels like it is trying to explode! Just what I need. It has definitely been a Monday all around. Hell, it started out with a robbery thwarted by little old me!

See, I had to get gas for the van this morning. There was no way I was going to make it back to work from the schools without doing so. I stopped in the gas station and walked in the store to pay for my gas. I had a $100 bill and I was waiting for the guy in front of me to pay for his drink so the girl behind the counter could tell me if she had change for it. As she's talking with me I see she's distracted and looking over my shoulder. I turn around and see a small, stooped old man shuffling in the store. He's stopping right next to a Natural Light display, picks up a case, and starts walking out the door. The chunky cashier girl is trying to get around the counter as fast as she could, but she wasn't quite making it. Enter Blondefabulous...

I walk over to the man, so small and stooped over, and say "Hi there! How are you this morning sir! My name is Blondefabulous, and I just wanted to say hello and meet you today. Don't do this thing though. You don't want to go to jail. It's not worth it. I have been homeless along with my 3 kids in that car out there so I know where you are right now. Please don't do this." I extended my hand, smiled a million dollar smile, and looked him right in his eyes. The man stopped, set down the beer and shook my hand. The chunky cashier slipped up behind him, slid the beer away and then ordered the man to leave the premises. She shakes my hand and thanks me for my help, I turn and go and get my change from the $100 from the manager who is smiling at me, and I go to pump my gas. before I left the store though, I stopped and gave the man $10 of my change and told him, "Please go get something to eat." and I walked to the gas pumps to take care of business.

While I was pumping my gas, I saw two younger men who were apparently with the older man. They were being thrown off the gas station property as well and from what I could see, they had put the man up to trying to steal the beer. I guess they figured if he got caught and arrested, then they could say they weren't with him and take off. Fuckers.

So, I tweeted about it and got a few people asking, but then I started having the day from hell, so I didn't have time to give any more details. I really hope I made a difference to that man. He seemed surprised I wasn't yelling or calling him names, just talking like a normal person and looking him in the eyes. Treating him like a human being. I think that's all anyone really wants in this world.

Humanity. Pass it on.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

What To Post....

Some days, I really don't know what to post about. I mean, there is only so much going on in my life that I eventually start recycling topics. It's only when something new happens, like the drama last Saturday or the B&E I did last Thursday, that I have new material.

I could always write about the insane clients we have at work. I'm talking some of these people are just nut fuck wackos. Take tomorrow's customer for example. She has to be certifiably crazy. She and her husband live in an extremely secure high rise condo on Longboat Key. Every time I have gone there, it has been an exercise in pain. She is constantly critical of everything. The entire home is beautiful, but I don't know if she realizes that having such privilege doesn't entitle her to treat people like crap. She will belittle, berate, and basically be a horrendous bitch every time we come. She is constantly changing her story on what we can and can't clean. One time she said we weren't allowed to touch her prize dining room set made from lacquered wood and leather, then a month later she bitched to high heaven because she said, "No one ever cleans my dining room table!" This goes on all the time. We never move the plants, we moved her plants. We don't wipe off the furniture on the lanais, we smeared dirt on the lanai furniture. We use too much product on her floor, we can't get her floor clean. It goes on and on and on!!! The latest now is she had some yahoo from a carpet cleaning place come to clean her precious oriental rugs last Friday. She said they were filthy and it must be because of our vacuums we use. Yeah, it's our fault since no one has ever heard of getting their carpets steamed once a year. Of course it's gonna have build up! Dumb woman. So now I have to use the vacuum SHE has that I am more than sure the carpet guy probably sold her the same day he came out. I just love people who dog on other service businesses so they can make a quick buck. I bet that vacuum is a piece of shit too. Oh well.... we'll use it and when it doesn't work I'm gonna laugh.

That's the kind of customer I would love to get rid of. Just say to them, "I'm sorry, but I do not need your abuse or your contempt. Please take your business elsewhere." She has abused my people, she has abused me, and if she ever catches me on a crap day, I'm just gonna tell her off and get fired for it probably. For now though, I'm going to go to her house, clean it, let her lord her money and power over me,and then leave. That is a good feeling.... leaving her house for two weeks. We have other clients who are troublesome, but none like her. She has alienated almost every employee I have and has requested that I be there personally at every clean. Sigh.....

Wow! Look at that. I guess I did have something new to write about today. They say you should write about your pain.... supposed to make it better or something like that. Having that woman move to the far reaches of Alaska would be the only way that pain would heal.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Asshats & Ambulances.

Now that I have a full time job, I LIVE for the weekends. I live for when I can sleep in past 5:30am. To be able to luxuriate in my tall, comfy bed is just the absolute best, therefore, when I am awakened by the asinine antics of our upstairs neighbors at 5:30 in the morning, I am considerably pissed off. Not even just pissed off.... I am down right A-N-G-R-Y!!!

The idiots had already been making a shit ton of noise earlier. I guess they were getting ready to go out for the evening or something to that effect. They scraped and clattered and stomped all over the place for a good hour or so right around 9pm. After that it was quiet because they finally left. Enter 5:30am.....
I hear this huge thud, several smaller thuds, and a woman's scream. Then there was some running around, more screaming, yelling, and more thudding. I got up to use the bathroom, looked at the clock, saw it was 5:30am and got pissed. I was headed back to bed when I heard the whimper of my children. All the fighting and screaming had awakened my two younger kids. They were scared and crying.


In the past we have called the courtesy officer for the apartment complex when the upstairs neighbors have been being stupid. That was back when the courtesy officer was a real cop. The guy we have now is a mall rent a cop who can't do a damn thing besides knock on the doors and threaten to call the cops himself. I wasn't going to deal with that shit. I was pissed off now. Livid! It's one thing to ruin my morning of sleeping in, it's quite another to wake my children and scare them. I had enough of that crap when we lived in Memphis. I slammed on my slippers, threw open the door, and stomped upstairs.


No answer.

Check Spelling

Finally, the door opens. It's the guy. He has what looks to be the beginnings of a black eye and some facial bruising. I had the urge to call him Tiger, but was too angry at that moment. Instead I went off on him.....

"Look here.... I don't give a good God mother fuck damn what the hell you do up here but you need to knock it the fuck off! You woke up my kids with this bullshit and now they're scared! My husband has been nice. I have been nice, but I swear to fucking God if you keep this shit up I am gonna call 911 and have every fucking cop I can get here. KNOCK IT THE FUCK OFF ASSHOLE!!!!"

And with that I went back downstairs and inside. I was so fucking angry I was shaking. No one makes my kids scared. I will cut a bitch for that, do not doubt it! I get back in bed with HHH and he tells me he checked on the kids while I was upstairs and everyone was OK and going to try and go back to sleep. It was dead silent from then on. Apparently I am a scary bitch at 5:30am.

Enter 6:30am.

I have never forgotten the sound. The sound of a child having a seizure in their sleep from having a drastic low blood sugar! You never forget that sound. I could hear it all the way across the apartment coming from Junior's room. He was low, terribly low. We aren't too sure how low, but HHH brought him out to the living room and I began to pump 3 Glucagon's into him, butt cheek first! Yes, I know 3 is a little bit of overkill, but some of them didn't mix up right so we had to try again. He turned out to be 72 in 10 minutes after the first Glucagon was shot in. I called 911 for good measure and had the EMT's check him out at the apartment. I was extremely grateful they finally opened the new fire station right down the road. The EMT's were here in no time. Junior was responding by the time they got to our apartment and after some breakfast and a nap with his mama, Junior was all better and back to his normal goofy kid self.

So the moral of the story here is:

A. Don't piss off a roller girl Mom when she can kick your ass for scaring her kids.
B. There is a reason for everything.

Friday, January 22, 2010


I was busy today. 3 houses to clean, loads of paperwork, and a day that was constantly running an hour behind. WTH man??

So you get photos of cute cats instead.
Have a nice day.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

The One Where I Do A Little B&E.

So, you may have seen my tweet today where I alluded to a possibly stint in the big house that might have involved my boss's husband. Yeah.... that one. Well, it's actually a funny story, see....

I was in the office waiting for Boss Lady's husband to come over. He is a $300 an hour business coach and as part of my office duties, he comes over once a week for half an hour and coaches me on how to be a better manager of the business. Yeah.... and I get this for free. So anyway, Boss Lady's husband comes over and says, "Let's go get some coffee while we have our meeting." I say OK and we walked over to this little boutique coffee shop on Towles Court. It was cute and we walked up to the door where all the signs say, "OPEN" and "Come IN!" Boss Lady's husband tries the first door and it was locked, so we think, ok go in the other door. He tries the other door and finds it unlocked so we push it open and go on in.

I heard it first. The tell tale, high pitched beep that says you have 30 seconds to find the alarm and turn it off before all hell breaks loose. I start backing out the door we came in and say to Boss Lady's husband, "Well, you touched the door not me, so I guess they'll be looking for you!" and I head down the road towards Buddha Belly Doughnuts. As we were headed down the street, away from the scene of the crime as it were, I could hear the main alarm start to go off.

We get to the doughnut shop and have our meeting and start walking back to the office about 30 minutes later. As we pass the street with the boutique coffee shop, I look down and see a couple of cop cars out front of the place. I didn't rush down and offer up that we were the ones who set off the alarm. I figure that will teach the owner to remember to LOCK the freakin door next time! Oh, and to be actually open when the sign says your open!

So that's my story about how I almost ended up in the jailhouse. I'm sure the 5-0 would have understood....

Then again, I am a derby girl. I would probably smack some people around and end up head bitch! I can be like that!!

Wednesday, January 20, 2010


Yeah, I touched on this a little yesterday, but after driving some more today I just have to rant off again


I swear I was aimed at more in the last two days than I care to count! No turn signals, changing lanes with out looking, merging into another lane without looking, talking on cell phones instead of driving, drifting over the line and not paying attention, etc etc.... The list goes on and on! I used to think it was the fact that our company cars have words and phone numbers printed on them and people were trying to read it and drive at the same time, but nooooooooo! That wasn't it.

I think it has a little to do with our Snowbird population. See, we have people from every state in the US, most of Canada, and several countries in Europe vacationing here. Take all those different people who have all those different styles of driving and throw them all together here in Good ol' Sarasota and BOOM! You have the problems! I use the horn all the time to let the freaks know I am there! If I didn't, I'd have been smashed up long ago. Just the other day I saw at least 3 fender benders on my drive home from work. Since our office is right down town by the fire and police departments, I hear the sirens quite a bit. It is really loud!

Sigh..... tomorrow I have an estimate at 10am. An estimate that is FAR AWAY. Like, I have to get out in that crazy traffic and drive about 30 minutes to get there far away.

Double sigh........

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

I Hab Uh Code Agin.


I caught a cold from one of the girls. I can't believe I am sick again! This is freaking unbelievable!! Wasn't I sick enough last month?? I think so! To top off that, I twisted/rolled my ankle today while cleaning a house on heels. Why was I cleaning a house on heels you say? Well there was the woman from yesterday that I had to put off to today because she's a quadriplegic and I couldn't chance taking the girl that was there with me yesterday because this woman can't catch any kind of sickness. It will put her in the hospital! So I had to do that house with the girl that didn't make it to work yesterday. Yeah, I looked great doing it, but man, catching a heel and twisting the ankle wasn't fun.

I started the new lady today. She's in her 40's according to her paperwork and she wasn't totally put out by the job today. The girls I put her with really liked her too. That's important. Everyone getting along is an integral part of this organization running smoothly! I like smoothly running companies. It helps me stay in the office and get all my office work done!!

On a totally unrelated aside: I was almost hit 6 times in the company car today. Not because of anything I was doing, but because people just weren't paying attention! I had one old man try and merge with me right next to him because he couldn't be bothered to look over and see my car there, then there were three people who were talking on their cell phones and not paying attention to where their car was drifting. Then there were the two drivers who just decided it was OK to pull out in front of me and almost hit me in the process! WTF people??!!?? Does no one know how to fucking drive anymore? Am I the only person left in America who tries to use turn signals, stay in lane, and do the speed limit?? Apparently so. The fact that almost all the people trying to hit me were anywhere from 60 to 80 years old may have had something to do with it. I have decided that that damn car must be cursed.

Anywhoo, my meds are finally kicking in and I am gonna hit the hay early. I have to get up at 5:30 am. Blech!

Monday, January 18, 2010

What To Do?

I have made it no secret here and on Twitter that the Office has had a problem keeping an 8th person for the work load. It's not a lot of hours, but it's something we need. Today I called a lady who is a little older, a little more experienced, and possibly a little more consistent than the last two people we hired.

Monday was its usual clusterfuck. My phone was on the fritz due to me dropping it in a toilet a week or so back and I had one employee call in and the lady who used to work for us totally turn down coming back to the job. Then add in another employee having early stage flu and me having to send her home early and it was a fun fun kind of day! Then there was the office construction that was going on today as well. Boss Lady is sectioning off a part of the office and walling it in so she can have a personal office. That was L-O-U-D!!!! I made sure right at the end of my 9 hours I was out of there! I'm quite sure there will be more crisis's for me to deal with tomorrow!

Oh..... and if all goes well, I'll be picking up Gobo tomorrow!!!

Yay for puppy kisses!

Sunday, January 17, 2010

More Hurdles.

  • I am at 55 lbs for weight loss. December was a bad month, what with sickness, hurt, and more sickness. I'm kind of plateaued out right now. I'm sure that when I get back up on skates and get back in the groove, things will begin to start spiraling down again. Yay for weight loss!
  • I bought a bikini today. An honest to God, two piece, pink and black bikini! I haven't worn one confidently since high school. Holy crap! It's an XL, but it fits beautifully. Yay for weight loss #2!!!
  • Gobo. My baby's name will be Gobo.
  • I will be buying THIS for Gobo as soon as I can.
  • I OD'd on gluten again this weekend. I really gotta learn not to do that.
  • I now own a kick butt motorcycle.
  • Bullets are easiest to do when you've been lazy all weekend and don't wanna stop!

Saturday, January 16, 2010


I got over another one today. I went and looked at new dogs.

This is actually a HUGE step for me. I still cry over Toby. The other night when this crazy cold snap hit, I started crying because I was sad that Toby was cold in his grave! Yeah.... HHH has suggested I may need some sort of therapy. I agreed. My solution? Go see some fuzzy therapists.

I went to a few places today and looked a several Yorkies. I looked at big ones, little ones, super fuzzy ones, and smooth coat ones.

The best part? I didn't break down crying.

Most folks I have talked to can't believe that I still grieve for my dog. To them a dog is just a thing, a thing you can own. I have always seen pets as extension of my family. They are little people with fur and fangs. They have their own personality, idiosyncrasies, and quirks. That was what I was looking for today. Someone who would fit in with our family.

I think I found someone. A little boy. He is cute. He likes me. That's a really important thing. The doggie has to like me. Anywhoo.... he is adorable. I like him, he likes me, and Tuesday, he'll be joining the Wetherington Family.

Now..... All I need is a name.

Late Post.

Sorry for the late post. Usually I have this up hours ago, but I have been WAY tired lately. Me thinks Prince percocet will have to take a hike! Of course it could have been that I had way too much to do yesterday and that tired me out as well.

My main goal was to get here and watch this! My daughter's dance recital was last night and it was really good. Some of the pieces were a little strange but my kid wasn't in any of those!

After it was over we all went and got ice cream. Hey, ya gotta keep these ballerinas fed or they'll just waste away! SO go and enjoy the beauty that is middle school dance recitalness!

Thursday, January 14, 2010


I am tired today for some strange reason. I have been yawning all day, my chest started hurting again after I took my medicine and I am just beat today.

I can't wait till I'm done with my medicine round so I can get back to normal. I'm almost done with the whole lot of it, s I can get back to Derby and all my other "nocturnal" activities!

OK. I took my meds and "Bones" is on. Time to go.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010


That is the attitude I have now for my job. After talking with Jess yesterday while we were cleaning, we have decided to start circumventing Boss Lady's absentminded running of the business.(She has a total of 3 businesses!) I went to work this morning and began to do a little guerrilla rescheduling. I found where there were holes in the other teams schedules and I started moving every job I could from our team to everyone else. I basically took 2/3's of our work load off. That will make it easier for me to stay in the office and get office work done. That has been my problem. I have been in the field so damn much I haven't been able to make calls, do billing, or take care of customers like we need to. I don't want to toot my own horn, but we have several customers just because of the customer service I rendered to them. They were going to quit, but I saved the accounts. Then there are the customers that want me to clean them. I have a few of them and they are favorites of mine because I have cleaned them ever since I started with the company. Customer service is very important to me. Having a personal relationship with our customers gives me great pleasure. I have customers who in the last year I have seen them have babies, get married, move to new homes, adopt children, have surgery, etc etc etc...... I even had some who sent me condolence cards when Toby passed away! So when I think my customer service is lacking, then something is probably wrong!

So from now on, I'm going to make sure my girls get all the work I can get them, and I keep our schedule(mine & Jess's) as clear as possible. I am no longer going to work myself into a nervous breakdown. I'm going to keep Jess from having the same thing happen to her too. We office slaves have to stick together!

BTW- Thanks for all the great advice. Just so you all know, I did sign a non-compete contract when I joined the company so I can't branch out on my own. I just have to make this work for me. (and Jess.)

Tuesday, January 12, 2010


Today sucked.

Tomorrow doesn't look any better.

The rest of the week looks even worse.

Your job isn't supposed to make you cry.

Mine did today.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Born To Be Wild.

I have that itch again.

Not the one where you need to go get an ointment, but the one for wind in my hair. The one for speed. The one for power.....

The itch for a motorcycle.

And before you all get all "No! Their dangerous. Don't do it!", I was a biker chick. I have my motorcycle endorsement on my license. I rode a motorcycle in college while in Gainesville. It was economical and cheap, and parking was easier to find and OMG! The hot guys you could pick up being a blonde with a big rack on a motorcycle!!! I picked up guys and chicks! My best evening was when I had a sorority thing going on and I had to wear my black suit mini dress, stockings and heels. Now imagine long, blonde hair, that outfit, and a 400cc motorcycle. I must have gotten wolf whistles the whole ride to and from my destination. And oh yeah, I did the "take off the helmet and shake the hair" thing. I was H-A-W-T!!!!!

Now I miss that. Having a marriage, kids,and life kind of negated having a motorcycle. Can't put a baby seat on a motorcycle. Now though, we are in a place where a motorcycle is a reasonable purchase. The kids are older, HHH and I are making good money, and darn it! I wanna go riding! I used to ride down to my home town for holiday and school breaks and the long rides down the turnpike in the spring air were heavenly! Yeah it sucked when it rained, and cold winters were a bitch, but on that perfect day....... it was spiritual. I loved it. I want it again.

And soon, I'll be the hot blonde on the bike again!

Sunday, January 10, 2010

These Dreams.....

I am what one would call a light weight. I have never been able to drink a whole lot. I never got too hung over, just got tipsy REALLY fast! If I ever got hurt and the doctor prescribed something for pain, if it was too strong I barfed it right back up. Before everyone got all hyper over Oxycontin's, I was hurt in Orlando and took a 10mg pill of that at the hospital and ended up puking for the next two days. I tossed the script down the toilet and went to Rite Aid and got extra strength Tylenol instead. Lortabs, Vicodin, you name it...... I am seriously unable to take those things. They just don't stay down.

Enter last Tuesday night when I went to the emergency room. You all know about the toothache and what went on after that. Now, while I was there, they poked and prodded, looked at things, the nurse said I didn't look 37 for which I thanked her profusely! When the doc came and said he was going to prescribe Percocet, along with an anti nausea med and an antibiotic, I told him about my little problem with pain killers. He just politely told me, "That's what the anti nausea drug it for.". Um... gee, usually people going to the ER are drug seekers looking for pain meds and here I am asking the doc if there is anything lighter he can give me and he's pushing the hard stuff! Weird! So they gave me a round of my meds in the ER before discharge and I don't remember much of the rest of that night. The next nights, however, have been......


The dreams have been very, uh..... vivid. I'm talking so real I actually thought stuff was happening. And all of my dreams have been occurring within my favorite TV shows!! Last night's dream was all about Big Bang Theory. I was in Penny's character and we were in Sheldon's office having snarky conversation and intelligent pun tossing! I actually got Sheldon to admit that Wolowitz was smart! That was how I knew it was a dream finally. Then, we went to an amusement park where each and every ride was picked apart scientifically about how it worked, what principles of physics was being used, yadda yadda yadda...... It was just way too weird.

And that was one of the tamer ones! I'm not EVEN going to get into the more risque ones. Those....... are a whole nother blog post.

{Or maybe not! ;-)}

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Baby It's Cold Outside!

What the hell is up with this shit?!?! Yes, I know the photo is crappy, but dammit man! We are forecast to be in the 20's tomorrow morning! There are people talking of snow here at the beach! WTF?? I moved back here from Memphis to get AWAY from this crap!! I am supposed to be enjoying 70 degree weather right now not watching for flurries! I didn't like snow then.... I don't like it now! I didn't like driving in it. I didn't like working in it. I didn't like trying to de-ice the house, car, sidewalks...... you name it. Only thing I liked about snow was sitting inside by a roaring fire with a large mug of homemade hot chocolate liberally spiked with some sort of adult libation.I took in all my plants, I have been ignoring my dumbass cat when he has been meowing to go out on the porch, and my children are very tired of hearing me say, "Put on a damn jacket!". I was reading emails and Twitter this morning and silently thanking all sorts of deities that I wasn't the one having to deal with freezing rain, sleet, and snow.
Speaking of my big, hairy throw rug, Fluffy has discovered that if he lays flat on his back on the recliner, the vent above blows heat right down on his tummeh! As I write this, I have usurped his position on said recliner and am now the recipient of some deadly looks.

So, in conclusion,...... Al Gore can kiss my recently shrunk ass! Global warming is sooooo not happening right now here in the South. All the snowbirds are pissed off, I freezing, and I WANT MY DAMN FLORIDIAN WEATHER BACK!!

PS- Sorry about the absence for the last couple of days. I was not too forward thinking in that I was taking my percocet BEFORE blogging. Then I was out for the rest of the night! (And having the most vivid and strangest dreams EVER!) So I have adjusted and am blogging now. Yes, the blonde can be taught!

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Lookie, Lookie!

Who has two thumbs, a script for Percoset, and a brand new "Psych" iPhone cover?

Yep! That would be me!
HHH ordered this for me last week and it came today. I have to say it was a rather bright spot in a day that started out less than acceptable. My wisdom tooth is still crappy. I couldn't find a dentist anywhere for today and even if I did, the new girl didn't come to work, so I had to go in anyway. Oh yeah.... she's fired. You don't tell me you're going to be there and then no show and fuck over my customers! C-ya!

So now I am on the hunt again for a new employee. There has to be someone out there who wants a job, right?

"Scuse me while I admire my purchase! James Roday is such a hottie!!!

Tuesday, January 5, 2010


I must be the only moron in America over the age of 30 who still has all her wisdom teeth. There's not much wisdom in this. The only reason they came in OK was I was already hereditarily missing other teeth, so they just came in and slid the other teeth over. I have all 4 of them and every once in a while one of them will get it in to them to move around and cause me great pain. It lasts about a week and I am usually miserable during such time. That brings us to today.

Today I look like a chipmunk on my left side. ( and no there will be NO pictures.) My upper left wisdom tooth is being a jackass. I look all wonky and dorky and OMG I am so not happy about it. I actually have to meet with customers looking like this! I can only guess they are trusting in my cleaning experience and not my looks because I got two more houses today. Thank goodness!

So now I am sitting here and trying to deal with the pain. I am taking 500mg ibuprofen and antibiotics so it should quit being a jerk really soon.

At least that's my plan.

Monday, January 4, 2010


Fuck 'em all!

Because of the dumbass shit that happened Christmas day with the Underpants bomber, and then the even more dumbass shit that happened on January 3rd with the unknown guy skipping through security in the New jersey airport I have had to work really hard Monday. Jess was stuck in the middle of that Airport security nightmare in NJ and that left me here in sunny frigid ass Florida to do all the cleaning I had scheduled for her.

Fucking terrorists can just suck it. They are making my air travel more and more shitty. From only being able to take 3 oz. of liquids at a time, to possibly not being able to use my lap top during flight....... it is getting harder and harder to deal with all the rules and regulations! What's next? Not being able to wear underwear on the plane?

Oh hell fuck no!

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Phot Shoot!

We had a photo shoot tonight for the band Haitz. They are a local band here in Sarasota and they wrote our intro music for when we take the floor for Derby. They were kind enough to include us in their CD cover shoot. Neato! Never been on a CD cover before!
I can't post any of the pic's from the actual shoot that I took. Those are being kept under wraps till the actual CD pic's come out.
We got all dolled up and threw on our skates and did background shots, posed shots, beat up the band shots, all kinds of shots!
That's what I wore. We were told to wear pink and black. I wasn't as skinny and cute as the other girls, but I still looked ok. I guess.

So that was my Sunday evening. Now back to the grind of work, school, and all that other crap. How'd you guys end your vacation?

Saturday, January 2, 2010


I went to a local resale store named Plato's Closet today with Rebecca. She likes this store because it carries the kinds of clothing she likes, but at prices that don't kill her budget and my wallet. She spent most of the money she got from babysitting during Christmas vacation there. They also buy clothes from customers as well, which is how they can sell at such great prices! Cool. After the last time we went, I told Rebecca that we should go through the closets and see what we had to sell. HHH is forever cleaning out apartments that have been skipped on and has come home with bags of clothing. I have a bunch that I don't fit in. We gathered up a pair of Apple Bottom capri's, 2 Baby Phat shirts, an Apple Bottom shirt that matched the capri's, an Anne Taylor dress, and an Old Navy top and went over to the Plato's Closet store. We got there and they were busy, as usual. I put in our bag to be assessed. Rebecca looked around and picked out a few tops while we waited. I went looking for a pair of jeans for HHH. He is ALWAYS ruining his jeans at work. I've told him a million times to quit wearing his good jeans to work, but he never listens.

Finally, after about 45 minutes, the guy at the counter calls us over and basically pushes the whole bag back at me and says "we only buy one top at a time and we don't buy "urban" brands so all we want to offer for is the Old Navy top, OK?" I look at him funny and he says, "Would you like me to explain?" Rebecca says "Sure." and the guy goes into saying the store doesn't sell the urban brands well at that location so they don't offer to buy them. I look at the guy again and say with half a smirk, "So your saying I am in the wrong neck of the woods to sell "urban " brand clothing?" Suddenly every head in the store swivels towards me and the slip of a girl who was apparently the manager comes over and in a thick Israeli accent tries to say that the owner never had luck selling those kinds of items, blah, blah, blaaaaaaaah! OK what ever. I told Rebecca to get in the line to check out while I took care of getting the money for the one shirt.

We got home and I started to think about it. The whole situation reminded me about when I was promoted and we moved to the Ranch. Once our customers found out I lived in a nicer neighborhood and I wasn't just the woman who scrubbed their toilet, they treated me better. The clothing store was quietly discriminating against the "urban" clothing. It wasn't Juicy Couture or BCBG so it didn't fit in I guess.

Eh..... no big deal I guess. I just thought the world had progressed beyond that is all.

Friday, January 1, 2010

Ugh.... again.

Heh.... 2010 started out with a migraine.

Maybe this is a good thing. The last two years started out good and then went to shit in the blink of an eye. So we're going to be mellow today. Lucky for me dinner was white bean and ham soup with corn bread. The stuff practically cooks itself so all I had to do was set it to low on the stove and take a nap while watching more Psych on DVD.

Maybe it's like when it rains on your wedding.... that's supposed to be good luck too, right?