Thursday, April 30, 2009

Bullies... What Bullies?!?

See this? This is my youngest daughter, Morgan. She is pretty, precious, and adorable! Blonde, like her mother, with deep green eyes framed by the longest eye lashes I have EVER seen on someone that wasn't extensions. Sometimes this "pretty" is a problem though. She knows she's pretty and tries to use it to her advantage every once in a while. Unfortunately, the "pretty" also attracts attention in a bad way too. Bullies. They try to pick on her because she is the smallest in her class, wears glasses, or has diabetes. It isn't fair, and the teachers do stop it when they catch it going on, but there are few of them to the hundreds of kids in Morgan's school. Case in point.....
I received a note from school two days ago. It was from the lunch room monitor. Apparently, my little ballerina was in an altercation at lunch time. Yes, that cute little angel in the photo above. I read the note with interest and it went on to say Morgan did not make a good choice at school and if it happened again, she would get a referral. I sat Morgan down and asked what happened and this was what I got. Morgan was sitting at lunch with her class, eating and talking to her friends when a boy at another table and who belonged to another class began to make fun of her. She said he called her monkey butt, Hairy monkey ugly girl, and on and on. It sounded to me like he was trying to make her mad or cry, but I digress..... After a few minutes of this, my tiny princess got up and

BITCH SLAPPED THIS KID OUT OF HIS SEAT!!!!!





Oh. Mai. Gawd! My little girl? Slap the crap out of some kid who sounded like he really deserved it? Surely you jest! But no. I went to the school the next day and confirmed that my tiny dancer had, indeed, bitch slapped some kid almost 2 heads taller than her because he was being rude and she was done with it. I do not recommend violence to solving problems, but come on..... the kid was tempting fate. I mean, this is the little girl that wants to be a WWE Diva when she grows up. This is the little girl who looks up to John Cena as her hero. This is the little girl who can hold her own with her brother when play fighting. That kid probably didn't know what hit him. Or maybe he did..... and now all his friends have seen him get put down on the ground by 68 pounds of pure cuteness!

Wonder how he'll like being bullied by his friends now that he's been beaten up by a girl in front of the entire lunchroom? Karma is a bitch that way!

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

I Gotz Cards, Yo!


Last week, I tweeted that I had won a contest over at marybabysteps blog, Adventures In Freelancing.

Here it is! My card. I can look all smooth and suave, and ask people, "Oh, do you have my card?" Ha ha ha....

The company says I'll have them in the mail by the 6th. Hopefully they'll be here by the 10th. After that, watch out people! You have the distinct possibility of being carded!

Oh, and on a totally unrelated side....... I HAVE LOST 20 LBS. PEOPLE!!!!! It seems like weight is easy to lose when you are sweating to death in some schmo's un-air conditioned mansion!

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

The Underpants Lady.

I didn't write about this last week because I had to wait for the eye bleach to work. The mind bleach came later....

I was working hard last Thursday, working with E because her usual partner was off that day. We had 5 houses and were finally on the last 2. They were both in a downtown Sarasota condo building. I got us there a little early. Try 30 minutes early! We try to get to the houses as on time as possible. I wasn't sure if it was going to take a while for us to unload and find a parking spot. See, we have to go to the bottom of the building, unload everything at the basement access door, and then I have to find a parking spot on the street come in the building, get the keys to our clients places, and then go let in my partner so we can take the elevator to where we need to go. Yeah,... annoying doesn't even begin to cover it!

We are going up to the 10th floor and down the hall and I knock on the door and..... the lady comes and says she is just stepping in the shower, can we come back in 30 minutes. Um, OK. My bad for being early. We go back to the elevator and plop down on the comfy couch there and wait for the next 30 minutes. At the proper time, We gather up all our stuff and go back to the woman's door. It is cracked open with one of those little robo dogs holding it open. I knock and announce us again. The woman calls out from the bathroom to come in. We drag all our stuff in, start getting it set up, turn around and BOOM!

HALF NEKKID OLD LADY IN HER UNDIES!

Oh goodness! E pretends she speaks no English anymore.... (Damn Hungarians!), and I am left to converse with this semi-senile, half naked, pantie woman! I am hoping that the woman thinks that the hot air blowing in from the open balcony door is the reason for my red face! I begin to clean the kitchen and the woman is still toddling around the condo, now with pants, just no shirt. She keeps catching my attention to show me things she'd like me to give special cleaning to. I am spending the time trying not to look at her. I was really hoping to be discrete in all this.....

Finally after about half an hour later, the woman got dressed and said she was going to go shopping. She grabbed her fashionable low heels, flirty scarf, and sun glasses and flounced out the door with flourish!

I was just hoping she was going to go shopping at a robe store!

Monday, April 27, 2009

The Class Trip.

Today was the last class trip of the year, and it was a twofer! We started out going to the Florida Studio Theater first to see the "Under Six" plays. These were all short plays that were written by kids in the sixth grade and under. They were awesome! The kids enjoyed it, and a few of them made me get all teary eyed.
Then it was off to the park for a diversity exhibition. This was the one that touched me the most. It was by a Israeli girl. Her parents sent it in for her because she was killed on her 15th birthday by a terrorist's bomb. It was a drawing about peace, harmony, and joining together despite our differences. On the beautiful day we were enjoying.... it stood out in stark contrast.
This was the beautiful day I was talking about. Sarasota at it's finest. The breeze was blowing, the birds were calling, and the gentle slap of the waves against the boat hulls was calming.
Here's Morgan in the park in POV while looking at one of the art displays. It was really tall. Most of the other kids didn't really pay attention. I was proud that Mo did and even analyzed the composition. That's my girl!
Morgan in the theater.
Going into the theater. It was really a fun show to watch and the players of the Florida Studio Theater did a wonderful job!

All together, the trip was awesome. It was a far cry from the clusterf#@k I had to deal with the rest of the day trying to figure out where my daughter's packages were. UPS wasn't so bad, they just forgot to take the package off the truck even though I went on their online site and requested that happen so I could pick it up. FedEx was worse. It took me forever to find the damn thing, it was in BFE, and the woman was rude and less than helpful. After a whole day of trying to locate the package that they had, it is now back at the package center, and I can pick it up tomorrow between 5 and 7pm. Fuckers! I'd have rather been back at the park instead of driving all over hell and creation. This has taught me that I will use UPS for my shipping needs. They cared enough to get my package to me today, rather than tomorrow.

I didn't get a whole lot of answers to my question yesterday about drug tests and athletes. It panned out at 50% yes, Fire the idiots, and 50%, no give the kids a chance. Now here's a new question: Who do you use for your packing and shipping needs? I'll see what you all say and then use those people for my shipping from now on. Maybe I should just use the post office...... hmmmmm......

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Destination: Unknown.

Yeah..... I'm sitting here, trying to think of something to blog about, but really, I got nothing. Really. Nothing. Zilch. I want to be all "writerish", but it just isn't happening today. Maybe tomorrow will be better. I have the second of Morgan's field trips. This one is to the Florida State Theater for a play. Now, this Gator alumni gets the heebie Jeebies going into any building that starts it's name out with "Florida State", but it will be OK. I forgive the school for not importing any UF entertainment.

Speaking of UF, Percy Harvin went in the first round of the draft yesterday. I was surprised a little, because he had tested positive for THC earlier in the week. I just don't understand it sometime. Someone who has everything will throw it all away for a moment of weakness. The NFL Draft combine is basically a week long job interview where you are subjected to everything from interviews with prospective employers to drug tests! How he thought he would get past that little part is beyond me. I am 100% behind my Florida boys, but they really have to start using the old noodle. There won't be an academic advisor guiding them forever!

Like I said, I was surprised when Harvin went in the first round. The last guy who tested positive for drugs during the combine, his number dropped and he went in the third round. I guess Harvin was too good a player to let go for long.

So that's it. Now here's a question for you guys...... If a player tests positive for drugs, any drugs, during the NFL Combine, should they be let go immediately? If it were any other job interview, and the person failed the drug test, they'd be sent packing on the spot! So what is your say? Stay or hit the road??

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Safety..... I Want It!

I was hungry. HHH was hungry. It was 11 o'clock at night. HHH turns to me, looks me in the eye and says, "Mmmmmm..... caramel apple empanadas." I agreed with him. Taco Bell was the destination. I grabbed the keys and Toby and headed out the door on a mission, (That late at night, Toby is my protector.), while HHH stayed at home w/the kids. (They were in bed already.)

I pulled out of the driveway and started in the direction of Taco Bell. As I pulled up to the light at Washington and Fruitville, I see lights in every direction. Rescue lights, Police lights, Helicopter lights. I make the turn on to Washington and I see a Police car at every street to the right of me for 10 blocks. I hear a police chopper circling overhead. I am starting to wonder if I have been somehow transported back to Memphis. I get to the Border, order the necessary provisions, and start back for the house. As I am turning back at the same intersection, I see Life Flight taking off from a parking lot over to the left. What ever was going down.... it had to be really bad.

I get home and am enjoying my T/B with HHH and I am MISSING my empanadas! Gawd Dammit! I had even asked the guy at the window if they were in the bag. Twice! I wanted to make sure I had everything because I didn't want to have to go out again. Not with all the cops and such out there apparently looking for someone or something. I was unhappy, to say the least. I tried to call the T/B back, but no one answered and all I got was the fax machine. Very FAIL. I piled back into the car, minus the dog, and went back to T/B. At the same intersection as before, I stop to make the turn and I see another helicopter taking off from the same parking lot. Now I am REALLY thinking something bad went down. I make a bee line towards T/B and get our empanadas and make straight for home.

Having lived in a place that had consistently made the top ten list of most dangerous US cities, I enjoy living here in Sarasota, where crime is relatively low. I can walk almost everywhere and not worry about being attacked, mugged, molested, or robbed. Usually, most items left outside stay right where you put them. Forbes released it's list of the most dangerous cities in the US for 2009 and wouldn't you know it..... Memphis was #2. Miami was #3. Detroit made #1. These are all places you would think bad crime would happen. They all have large populations with more than 50% below the poverty level, a high foreclosure rate, and very few jobs. While we lived in Memphis, HHH was mugged twice, Our vehicle was broken into 5 times, and things were always stolen from our yard. It was ridiculous. Now, living here in the land of sun, I can relax. If I hear pop, pop, pop.... I don't instantly think it's gunshots in the distance. That is a dangerous thing. The relaxed nature of this beach town lends itself to days filled with lazing in the shade of a beach umbrella, not going over safety features of the newest alarm system for our homes. So, when something like this happens while I am on the way to getting a fourth meal, I am just a little unnerved.

I wish people could progress past the need to steal and maim. I guess our human nature won't let us. We're programed for violence. It's everywhere.

Maybe if we'd all sit down and have a carmel apple empanada, things would be better. What do you think?

Friday, April 24, 2009

Another Day, Another Field Trip.


Yes, it was that time again. We had another field trip. This one was to Spanish Point in Sarasota, FL. The kids were learning about archaeological digs, artifacts, and the ancient Indian people who inhabited the land. We heard a story teller, went into a rubbish mound, dug for artifacts, and ate a picnic lunch.

I looked awesome!

In my blue embroidered skirt, white tshirt, salmon over shirt, and 1 1/2 inch heels.

I was also terribly over dressed for the occasion.

All the teachers were in Capri's and sneakers. I was chic and fashionable in my ensemble. They, however, were comfortable. Still, I persevered. I kept up with the group and kept my group of kids in line! I was happy to see that we had an air conditioned bus with real working shock absorbers! That made the ride awesome. It would have been hard to make this day not great.

All because I woke up HHH with a little happy, naughty, naughty!

I like to surprise him every once in a while with some good morning nookie. Makes him a very happy HHH. It also makes my day perky as well!

So, now that that's all done, all I have to do is get through the weekend and then there is ANOTHER field trip on Monday. That one is to the FST for a play. I can look fashionable for that one and not stick out like a sore thumb.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

School Daze!

I stole this from Finn. I am too tired to have my own thoughts. Enjoy!


1. Did you date someone from your school senior year? I had a grand total of 2 boy friends in high school, but not until I was a sophomore.

2. Did you marry someone from your high school? Nope. Not even close!

3. Did you car pool to school? Does my mom count?

4. What kind of car did you drive? 1988 Oldsmobile Omega. I had to share it with my Dad. He worked nights so I got the car during the day.

5. What kind of car do you have now? 2005 Dodge Grand Caravan.

6. It’s Friday night… where were you (in high school)? During football season, at the game because I was in the Marching Band, after that either the movies or some other school related activity.

7. It is Friday night… where are you (now)? Watching WWE Smackdown.

8. What kind of job did you have in high school? None. My parents wouldn't let me get a job.

9. What kind of job do you do now? I work for a green cleaning company.

10. Were you a party animal? No.

11. Were you considered a flirt? Possibly. I had boyfriends, but I liked to chat up other people.

12. Were you in band, orchestra, or choir?
Marching Band and Concert Band. First chair flute and drum line. Also Drum Major my Junior year.

13. Were you a nerd? Oh yeah! BIG time.

14. Did you get suspended or expelled? No. I never did anything stupid enough to deserve that.

15. Can you sing the fight song? Fight song and alma mater. After I graduated, they changed the fight song. Guess no one liked it.

16. Who was/were your favorite teacher(s)? Mr. Waldron, Mr.Egolf. History and AP Western Civilization.

17. Where did you sit during lunch? First two years, the dork freshman table. Last two years, the band geek table.

18. What was your school’s full name? Okeechobee High School.

19. When did you graduate?
1990.

20. What was your school mascot?
A Brahma Bull.

21. If you could go back and do it again, would you?
Yeah...... and I'd fix a few things along the way!

22. Did you have fun at Prom?
I did. I went to 3 proms. My Junior, Senior, and my HS boyfriend's Junior.

23. Do you still talk to your prom date? No.

24. Who was your best friend? Laura.

25. What did you want to be when you grew up?. A Music teacher

26. Any regrets? Oh yeah! I regret caring so much about what other people thought instead of just doing my own thing!

27. Biggest fashion mistake? Um.... all of my freshman year.

28. Favorite fashion trend? Torn, acid washed jeans. I just thought I had screwed up my best pair of jeans, but I was actually ahead of the fashion game.

29. Are you going to your next reunion? Not sure.....

30. Who did you have a secret crush on? Rodney, Matt......

31. Did you go on spring break? No. No job=No money=No SB.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

I'm Back Baby!

Oh yes! Thank you Jebus! I a back on line from casa de Blondefabulous! The net is back up and running and barring any more BBQ pit mishaps, we will stay up and running.

While everything was out, I was operating from my phone and from the wi-fi out of my former apartment complex. Yes, i was stealing their wi-fi in the dead of the night..... but I figure since they dumped us out on the street with only a weeks notice, they owed us one. As it was, I was writing my blog posts on my word program, saving them, then going down to the old place around 9pm and copying and pasting it together for publishing. It was a hassle. Now I am sitting in air conditioned comfort, at my desk, in my NEW leather executive chair, blogging away. Ahhhhhh..... bliss! I'm gonna need that bliss because I have two field trips coming up in a row. One this Friday, and one the following Monday. Why are they cramming these in at the last minute? Right at the end of the year? It's silly. Ah well.....

I had to turn down the catering for HHH's coworker. I just can't do it for what the woman wants. She basically wants to spend $300 for a beach BBQ for 40. The beverages she asked for were gping to cost at least $100. Materials would have cost theother $200, and that would have left nothing for my time and effort. Maybe she can get a restaurant to cater it for her. They can get better deals because they buy in bulk and pass the savings on to the customer. It is a little disappointing though.... I'd like to cater again.

Anyone wanna pay me to cater a party for 15 to 20? I could probably do that for $300.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Winner Winner, Chicken Dinner!

My kids are Freakin’, ..........................wait for it……………………………….........

AWESOME!

Today was awards day at Tuttle Elementary School. Both Morgan and Junior came home on Monday with little sheets that said “Your child has won an award, so come to the school on Tuesday to see what they won!” I sent HHH to go and take photos for me. I would have gone, but I already have to take off Friday and Monday for field trips, so I can’t afford to take off another day too. It’s HHH’s turn! Morgan was first and she got the “Super Speller” award. I was glued to my phone for photos and info. It was a wonder I got anything cleaned! Then it was Junior’s turn. He not only got the “Super Speller” award as well, but he also got the “A-B Honour Roll.” I am so proud!!! HHH got some goo pictures for me so I am glad.

Also in the works is Morgan’s ballet recital. It will be on May 16th. There is also a run through performance on May 9th. I am so excited! I can’t wait to see my baby girl dancing around with all her classmates. There was a costume fitting today and the director told me today that they are still working on a costume that is small enough for her! I don’t call her Tiny Hiney for nothing! The letter also said for me to have Morgan prepared for practice and to have all of her dance apparel with her, etc…. Um, why would I NOT have her there and with all of her stuff? This is a very prestigious program and it is ridiculous that I wouldn’t have her there every day she is supposed be there! This is the real ballet for goodness sakes! I’ll have Morgan there with bells on.

On an unrelated note, I Twittered this earlier and I just have to ask again, is it blasphemous to be in a clients house cleaning and singing “Cheeseburger In Paradise” if the client is Hindu? As I was dusting and vacuuming and right at the “I like mine with lettuce & tomatoes….” part, I suddenly thought, this may not be the best thing to be doing right in front of the big cow shrine! I’m going to hell, aren’t I?

Oh well, down the hatch!

Monday, April 20, 2009

In The Groove!

Hah! I got another one in! Look at me, the non Internet blogging goddess! So I was cleaning today and I started thinking to myself, a lot of the music I have on my iPod has a lot to do with cleaning. The most obvious of these are “Happy Little Working Song” from Enchanted. I however, do not have rats, pigeons, and cockroaches helping me clean up the places we work at….. Just us busy working girls. Then there is my favorite for when I am in a particularly nasty bathroom, …. “Can’t Touch This” by MC Hammer. I have been in quite a few bathrooms where I REALLY didn’t want to touch it. Oh, and then there’s “Dirty Little Secret” By the All American Rejects. In my days as a cleaning person, I have seen more dirty little secrets than I care to mention. Discretion is the better part of cleaning. Another one of my favorites for the bathroom is “Taking Care Of Business” by BTO. A lot of the places we go to have HUGE bathrooms that are the size of the house I live in. They have walk in closets, steam rooms, and offices right in there! I guess people like to take care of business where they take care of business, so to speak! Finally, to round out the bathroom medley…… “Everything Comes Down To Poo” from the Scrubs “My Musical” episode, because really, everything eventually does come down to poo.

For the rest of the house, I like to play “Who Can It be Now” by Men At Work. Always a good one for when you approach the door to start work. Oh, and “I’m Alright” from the Caddyshack Movies, because sometimes the clients treat us like crap and you really have to remind yourself that even though you don‘t have a couple mil in pocket change, you‘re still alright, probably better. “Glamorous Life”, by Fergie is a good one for when we clean the multi million dollar ocean side mansions, and so is “Larger Than Life”, by the Backstreet Boys. Some of those places really are larger than life requires.

Finally, to wrap it all up, I like to listen to “No Such Thing” by John Mayer. It reminds me that even though we start out being herded down one path by the powers that be in high school….. We can end up doing something completely different, and that’s OK.

Now, all of these are on shuffle with other songs like “Rock and Roll All Night” by Kiss, “Safety Dance” by Men Without Hats, “Soul Man” by The Blues Brothers, and “Hot and Clod” by Katy Perry. Most of the songs were picked for the beat behind the lyrics, instead of the lyrics themselves. It’s easier to clean when you’re bopping along to an up beat little tune. Now, here’s the question I am putting to you, intrepid readers……

What kind of mojo music do you put on when you need to clean up your own “dirty little secrets”??

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Who Can It Be Now?

I know I haven’t been on here in a while. What with waiting for my internet to be fixed, and working, I haven’t had a whole lot of time to jog up to the local wi-fi hotspot and dash off a blog post! So far, things have been ok. I have my phone to check my email and read blogs & Twitter. On Friday I found out that I received my raise in pay 2 full weeks before I should have. Yep! My boss thinks so highly of my performance I got an extra dollar per hour in my check! Yay! Go Me!

Then, on Saturday as we were headed back to the house from the market, I saw a small sign outside of the warehouse down the street from out house that said they were having a sale. Now, we are full to bursting in the little house we have right now, but it couldn’t hurt to look, right. Oh. My. Gawd! The things we saw in there! Art, antiques, furniture, crystal and glassware, and it was all cheap cheap cheap CHEAP! I got a leather executive desk chair on casters….. The big kind that rolls around, for $15! Yes really! I was stoked. I also picked up a solid oak, 2 drawer dresser for $15 as well. It’s beautiful! When we were paying for our purchases, HHH asked the guy if they would be having another sale in the future and the gentleman said they were going to have sales once a month with differing merchandise every time.
I am wondering what I will find next month.

On Sunday, we went to the beach. Having learned our lesson from the first time we tried to go, we got an early start and got to the parking lot by 8:45am to get a good parking spot. We also got closer to the water so there wasn’t as much of a chance of people setting up in front of us. At first it was cool and the wind was chilly, but then the sun broke out and it was beautiful. The kids even got into the water a little. (It wasn’t as cold as last time!) By about lunchtime, the beach had gotten way over crowded, so we packed up and left. As we left out of the parking lot, we saw that the beach patrol had already closed off the parking lot and wasn’t letting anyone in to try and find a space. On a good note…. I found a quarter on the beach, without the aid of a fancy metal detector like the hairy old men who were sweeping the beach!


All in all, I am surviving this outage of internet. I suppose I could survive with out it if I really had to….. I just don’t want to!!! I’ll try to post more this week and everyone keep their fingers crossed everything is up and running by Wednesday as promised!

SMOOCHES!

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Field Trip Day.

Yes, it was once again field trip day! I had absolutely no idea where we were going, but darn it! I was going! It was Morgan's turn for the field trip. I got to the school, got all checked in, acquired my stick on badge, and was off to the class room. Morgan's teacher doesn't have a problem with me going with them! I like her. One teeny problem though....... MORGAN'S TEACHER WASN'T THERE! Yeah, she had a sub for the field trip. WTF??? Do these women schedule these things and then intentionally ask for those exact days off? I don't get it. Maybe it is a hazing ritual that the permanent teachers do to the subs.... I don't know. Anyway, we get on the bus. The very bouncy bus. The bus with no shocks, concrete seats, and NO SHOCKS! It was brutal. We get to the place we were going to and...OMG! Not only am I dealing with the 75 kids from our school..... there are another 300 in the Municipal Auditorium! We are all there to see "La Musica" Now I thought that "La Musica" being said in Spanish would have meant that it was a program about Latin music and heritage. WRONG-O!! It was a program about chamber music. A dull program about chamber music. I was entertained and all, and why shouldn't I be when I used to play classical Flute, and 7 other instruments, but I was in a room surrounded by almost 400 10 year olds. It wasn't pretty. Lord knows the Emcee lady tried. She was teaching the kids the hand jive, asking questions, trying for audience participation, but these are 10 year olds..... they lose interest quickly. When the first performers came out, it was a trio for violin, cello, and piano. A Scherzo. It was a fast, upbeat piece that held the kids attention, but after it was over, and the emcee started asking the players questions and trying to teach something, she lost all the kids. It only got worse from there when the next two pieces were slower and less entertaining. The chatter noise in the background got louder and the kids seemed to lose all interest! I felt bad for the people putting on the program.

Oh, and in between the professional people playing these wonderful works of chamber music, several schools music classes got up and played selections for the recorder. Yep. squeaky, honky recorder. I was amazed. Who the HELL thought up this torture? I want to give them one of my migraines....... just for laughs. So we get done with this trip and head back to the bus, back to the blessed quiet of the school. I was over joyed. I was in such a good mood to be out of there.... I checked Morgan and Junior out for the day and we bummed around the mall till it was time to pick up HHH!

Retail therapy fixes everything!

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Unscheduled Outage.

Yep. Unscheduled. As in some idiotic fucker cut my fios line. This is why there are "call before you dig" signs all over the freakin neighborhood. Unfortunately for me..... none of them were in Spanish!!!

Dude trying to dig out a BBQ pit severed my line.

Dude did not have a permit to dig said pit.

Can not get anyone out here until next week.

NEXT WEEK!!!!!


AAAAAUUUUGGGGGHHHHHH!

I am going to die before i get this back up and running back at the house. Who the hell digs their own BBQ pit in the middle of the city? We have fire codes and ordinances for this shit. Sheesh! So I am once again relegated to going to some random hot spot to check my mail and what not.

I hope that was going to be some damn fine BBQ.


Monday, April 13, 2009

I Have No Memory....


..... of yesterday. Well, almost none. I remember parts of yesterday, like hiding the eggs for the kids to find, and putting the ham in the oven, but in between those two events something horrible and excruciating happened. I got a migraine.

I don't have them often. They just pop up when ever they damn well please, but the bad part about them, aside from the nausea, vomiting, light sensitivity, sound sensitivity, and smell sensitivity, is that I lose almost a whole day. I can't stand up, I can't move, and I can't function. Everything made me want to barf. At one point, HHH came in with a small sliver of ham ( that I was SUPPOSED to be cooking) for me to try and I almost blarghed all over the bed. A tiny piece of smokey ham goodness was going to make me soil the bed with my vomit. Oh the agony!

If I hadn't gotten photos of the egg hunt and the basket gathering, I don't think I would have known yesterday had even existed. Which is sad, but really I was only upset that I lost a whole day off. I'm just not that into Easter and the whole church/religion thing. My first husband made quite sure of that fact with his over zealous religion mongering. I, unfortunately, made the mistake of voicing my opinion on someone else's blog on Easter Sunday and apparently I offended a few people.

I wanted to say I was sorry. I truly am. I just let bad memories and shit from the past overwhelm me at a VERY late hour and I opened my fat yap without thinking. It was a knee jerk reaction that I am regretting but it was one of the most honest things I have said lately.

Whew! That felt good. I like purging my guilt. So there you go. I said that I would blog later and now I have. I am hoping I don't have another one of those migraines for a while. It sucked sweaty donkey balls. Now.... on to that 2 ft tall chocolate bunny HHH got for me....NOM NOM NOM NOM!!!!!!!


Sunday, April 12, 2009

Saturday, April 11, 2009

What To Do On A Free Saturday.

Well, first you solve the problem of moving into a house with no closets.




You put up shelves you can hang things on. (You also convince Hubby to let you buy him a 12v drill so he can do this faster than with a wimpy screw driver.)




After the shelves are up and the clothes are hung, you put in the new 27" flat screen TV a resident at your husbands complex gave him. They said they didn't need it anymore because they had just purchased a 42" flat screen. You also freecycle the 32" regular TV you have because it's just good policy to pass on the good vibes. The 32" went out in just under an hour.












You give your Hubby large, wet kisses and other such things for coming home with a giant chocolate bunny for your Easter gift! The damn thing is bigger than Oscar! What did I Twitter about the other day about having lost weight and looking great? Huh.... that may be put on hold. Then again, Aunt Flo is going to come visit in the next few days, so maybe a copious amount of chocolate around the house isn't a bad thing!!!



You also water the lovely Tulips you bought because you couldn't stand the thought of them dying alone and unwanted in a giant, ugly Wall to Wall Mart. They are going to be pink and white. Oh, and useful chef hint... save your egg water from when you boil your eggs for coloring. The calcium that leeches in the water from the egg shells is an excellent source of nutrients for your house plants.


You also buy your pooch a new baby/toy because the little monster split the last one open at the seems and ate out all the stuffing. Oscar won't be shitting right for at least a week!








And that, dear readers...... is what you do with your free Saturday.

Friday, April 10, 2009

P&F


My kids have a new favorite TV show. It's called "Phineas & Ferb". It's about these two step brothers who are figuring out what to do while on their summer vacation. Their older sister is charged with keeping an eye on them, and while she sees all the out of this world stuff they come up with, somehow it all magically disappears right before the mom comes home! The sister looks like a crazy person and the boys are scott free!

Sounds cool, right? Yeah, I guess it is, but I can see a few problems the Disney channel might have given us parents.

#1- My kids could get themselves arrested.

How, you ask? Well, the kids on "P&F" do things like build a time machine, a space port, the flying car of the future, etc...... I have never built anything like those, but I imagine it would require things like plutonium, uranium, or some other radioactive compounds that are pretty hard to get a hold of. If my kids started looking around on the Internet and asking questions about how to get that stuff, it wouldn't be long before the FBI, CIA, and HSA was at my door arresting all of us and giving us an all expenses paid trip to Gitmo. Not exactly my kind of summer vacation.

#2- My kids could get arrested- part 2.

How, you ask again? Well, those boys on "P&F" are constantly driving something. Cars, Monster Trucks, Chariots, etc..... They're maybe 10 at the most? Not legal driving age at all. I don't need my kids trying to imitate souping up the new van we just got and going out to do a demolition derby. There have been too many kids in the news lately for just that reason, just not in a Disney program.

#3- The kids could do something that will hurt them.

How, once again? Well "P&F" build things like roller coasters, giant water slides, over sized mini golf courses, etc.... and when they go through the motions of using these things, it is just mind boggling how they aren't smashed to bits or flattened like a pancake!(Yes I do know it is a CARTOON!) Last thing I need is Junior or Morgan thinking you can really build a water slide with a huge gap in the middle and you will actually fly across to the other side unhurt. Ain't gonna happen. I studied physics in HS & college. I know a splat fest when I see it.

All kidding aside, it isn't a bad show. It has a positive message and encourages imagination and activity. The kids have the theme memorized and can sing it at just hearing a few notes..... um, maybe that isn't a good thing. In fact, it borders on mind control.......

RUN EVERYONE! THE MOUSE IS TRYING TO TAKE OVER OUR YOUTH AGAIN!!!!!!

Thursday, April 9, 2009

My New Desk.



















I forgot to tell you.... I got a new desk. We got it the day I twittered about going on an Odyssey for a desk, Cold Stone, and potato wedges. It's bigger than the last one, so there was a lot more room for all the crap I accumulate...... medical records for the kids, family albums, and well..... you see all the junk on there. And under there. AND on top of there. I am a desk pack rat!

One other totally unrelated thing..... tonight , HHH and I were watching "Bones" and we suddenly heard this huge crash outside in front of out house! It was so loud, Oscar began barking and going bonkers! I just thought it was one of the giant trucks (that illegally use the small road in front of our house for a short cut) bouncing over the rail road tracks. I got up to look and across the street someone had smashed into the large tree, knocked half of it down, and sped off without even stopping! Yes, hit and run is alive and well here en la Calle Ocho. There wasn't any property damage to the neighbor's house, and most of the tree fell into the road, so HHH and I went back inside and found that we had missed the end of "Bones". Asshole idiot made me miss who had done it. Guess I'll have to find out tomorrow when it goes online.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Sugar and Spice.....

I realized it a while ago, back when I was in High school, and I became comfortable with it. I adjusted who I hung out with, what kind of things I participated in, and how I lived my life. I dressed the part, acted the part, and basically.... it was just me.

I was and am a Tomboy.

There. I said it. It feels good to get that off my chest! Whew!

OK. All kidding aside, I have never been what one would call a "girlie girl". Oh I wore dresses in HS, I have heels, purses, make up, and all the trappings of the female life, but I just haven't felt the need to wear all that stuff every day of my life. Up until I discovered designer purses, I never really carried one. I never carried one in HS. Ever. I have make up, but unless I am going out or have a Dr. appointment or field trip, I just don't wear it. I have a ton of high heeled shoes, but if I am not going out on the town, (and that isn't very often at all), I just don't wear them. I have a grand total of two skirts in my closet. One doesn't really count because it is a skort. I have no dresses. I have plenty of slacks and dress pants. I have sensible 1 inch heels in a neutral color. I probably have more University of Florida clothing than anything else!

Oh, and speaking of UF, let's discuss the fact that I am also a sporty girl. Yes a sports crazed, football fanatic. I can discuss strategy and plays. I watch the draft and the signing day shows. I L-O-V-E ESPN. (Except when they hate on UF.) I also follow NFL, NCAA Basketball, MLB on occasion when the Indians are doing well, and I was glued to the Olympics. Russ from Dad's Who Mock can tell you I can hold my own in a sports discussion.

Then there is my language. My speech. The things I say. Let's just say sometimes it isn't exactly feminine. I have been known to say "I'm taking a piss." or "I gotta go drain the girl lizard." when referring to going to the bathroom. Originally, it was to get the attention of a male driver so he would stop for a bathroom break thus releasing me from my bladder induced nightmare. Me saying "I gotta take a piss" really loudly snaps the male from his driving induced coma. Or when dinner is ready, I'll burst out with a hearty, "Chow Time!!!!!" June Clever I am not. I've never really been a girls girl..... I've mostly always been a guy's girl. Always.

I was friends with more guys than girls. Always. They liked the fact that they could talk to me and be themselves and I wouldn't be all, "EEEWWW!" or "Oh that's gross!". They liked being able to ask me about what to do with their girlfriends when the waters were choppy in their relationships. It wasn't long before I wasn't too popular with those girlfriends. A lot of my time was spent trying to prove that I wasn't a threat to those relationships. How they thought I was, I'll never know. They were all done up to look like barbie dolls, I was in torn jeans, t shirts and Reebok's.

Today things aren't very different. With the exception of liking to carry a purse now, I haven't changed very much. I'm still a guy's girl. HHH likes that about me....... I think? The other day I answered his question of where I was by hollering out..."I'm taking a piss.... be right out!" and got from HHH..."TINKLE..... You're taking a tinkle!" Tonight I was discussing it with him and I think he just realized that .......

"HE DIDN'T MARRY A GIRLIE GIRL!!!"

How could he have missed it? It was always there. The love of football...... the way I dress...... the way I talk...... how did HHH not see it?

I laughed at him when I realized he didn't see me as a tomboy. We have been together for almost 9 years, married for 5 of them, and he never saw me the way I have always seen myself. I never thought I'd be seen as pretty, or fancy, or even frilly! It's sweet that HHH sees the girly and nice. I feel better about myself as a woman when my husband thinks I am feminine. Weird, right?

Maybe there's some sugar and spice in there after all!

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Money Shot!

Get your minds out of the gutter! I'm just doing a bullet post.

-- Today is the second day of Spring Break. OHMYGAWDPLEASEKILLMEANDBURNTHEREMAINSSOMYSOULWON'TBETRAPPED!

-- Tomorrow is another Doctor Appointment. Just a Pediatrician visit for a small physical. While I am there I will make an appointment for Rebecca to get her 7th grade vaccinations. She needs a booster for her Tetanus and perhaps her MMR. We'll see.

-- Rebecca broke my Treasure Island dice. The one from the casino HHH and I got married at. The one we got the same year we were married. The one I have been cherishing and protecting through every move we have ever had. *sniff, sniff* A moment of silence please.

-- I burnt my tongue on a taco shell tonight.

-- House blew my ass away last night!

-- I am making lamb chops tomorrow. I have been marinating them for 36 hours in a honey soy ginger sauce. Tomorrow they will be grilled and served with veggies that have been tossed in a light balsamic vinegar and olive oil and maybe some cous cous. HHH is singing the "Lamb Chop's Play a Long" song......

That's all I got. The kids have scrambled my brains.

Monday, April 6, 2009

God Help Me!


It's Spring Break here and I am in utter hell. I should be at work, but I do not have a sitter for the week. You will recall that I blogged about that last week. Well, today was day 1 and the kids have officially driven me nuts! I woke up not feeling well, (damn the hidden gluten in foods I love!), and then Junior would not leave me alone. He crawled in bed with me and at first it was all cute and adorable,...... but then he took over the TV remote and I was treated to a day of SpongeBob, Teenage Robot, Chowder, and Johnny Test! It was brutal. Then there was the constant whine of "I'm hungry! I'm Hungry! I'm Hungry!" I guess without the structure of the school day to keep them occupied, their stomachs took over and decided the kids had to eat every hour on the hour. I had to nix that idea. It would screw with their diabetes and sugar levels too much.

Add to all that the fact that it was rainy and dreary outside so I couldn't even kick the kids outside to play and the day was shot before it began. I had wanted to do a few loads of laundry, clean up the kitchen, wash and dry all the floors in the living room, and even vacuum off the new sofa cover we had bought to cover the couch in. We even got two throw pillows! (I had been watching HGTV.)

So now I am hoping that tomorrow is going to be a better weather wise. I know it's going to be chillier, but we can handle that. (Um, Spring? Any day now!!!) I'd steal the car from HHH, but he has an appointment with a little old lady I clean house for at work. When our team was there last week, she had asked us to screw a lamp back on to the wall. I went and looked at it and noticed it needed drywall anchors to keep it up or it would just fall off the wall again. My team leader asked me to tell her we don't do that sort of thing, and to soften the blow, I gave her HHH's number and told her he could help her with small maintenance jobs around the house. She called today. She has about 4 small jobs she needs done. She can't do them herself because she had a terrible accident and has a neck injury. (She seems a VERY independent woman.) So tomorrow at 4:30pm, HHH is going to go over and inspect the jobs she has for him and then make a list of what he is going to need. He's also going to see if any of the surplus from the apartments can be used to save her some money. HHH is just a good person like that.

So that's it for now. I'm going to go and finish watching "House". Something big is happening,(No Spoilers!) Catch you tomorrow!!

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Siesta Key Beach.

We got to the beach today. Even got a great parking space! We had our choice of spots on the beach and set up a little farther back from the shore since the tide was coming in. Then it was sand castle time!!!!














HHH made a sand sculpture turtle. I made some star fish and guppies from the molds we got from Wall to Wall Mart. Oh, and I made a castle wall that said "I Love Will"



























The kids had a good time. It was actually good that we got there early. Once it hit around 11am, the beach started getting really crowded! We packed up and left by 11:30 because we couldn't even see the water any more because so many people had camped out between us and the ocean. It was OK though. We had been watching a few clouds heading towards the beach and if it decided to spring shower on us, we didn't want to be out in the open.

All in all, it was a good time. Now to grill up a few steaks, enjoy a gluten free beer, and watch Wrestlemania on pay per view.

Sigh.............. the perfect Sunday.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Sunny Days, Sandy Waves......


Tomorrow we are going to the beach. HHH is off of his on call duty, it is supposed to be 85 degrees and almost a cloudless day! We are getting up early to assure ourselves a good spot and decent parking.

I'll have photos later!

Friday, April 3, 2009

Whoo & Hoo!

It's Friday yo! Time to kick back and relax. BBQ with the Family and watch movies and wrestling on TV. (Yes I did say wrestling.) Oh,.... and we're also going to have a yard sale.

HHH was told the other day to empty out the abandoned tenant storage unit at his work. The managers said, dump it, donate it, do what ever he wanted with it, so HHH brought it home and we are going to sell it for a little extra cash. The things these people leave behind! HHH works at a new complex in one of the Snazzier sections of town called Palmer Ranch. I guess money isn't a big concern out there, because they left clothing from places like Ann Taylor, Baby Phat, Marc Ecko and Apple Bottom. There were small home appliances, assorted dishes, bedding, and decorating accents. I was amazed that someone would leave behind things that were still in excellent condition. There is a whole baby decorating ensemble that looks brand new! So anyway we're going to have a sale and anything that doesn't go is going to Goodwill.

Nothing like a little $$$ in your pocket courtesy of people who can afford it. Plus, it will help with the bills that all seemed to come in right around the 31st. It just always seems to go that way, huh?

Thursday, April 2, 2009

My Kids RAWK!!


Grades came out! My eldest got straight A's, Morgan has improved her math scores, and Junior brought up his handwriting marks! Everyone did great and HHH and I are so proud of them!

Today was OK. It started out a little rough though. Apparently the Spanish girl that was riding in my team on Wednesday ratted me out to the fast woman, (here on out to be called Quickie.), that dogged me Tuesday. I had mentioned to them that I was humiliated when Quickie took the mop out of my hands and pushed me out of the way. The Rat must have called Quickie right away... damn I need to brush up on my Spanish! Of course, Quickie went to Boss Lady first thing this morning. So anyway, I got to have a "chat" with Boss Lady about how I shouldn't be upset, just understanding of being corrected. I just nodded and smiled, but in my head I was saying "Fuck You!" Boss Lady wasn't there to see how I was made to feel stupid the entire day. I am just going to have to keep my mouth shut around these ladies if they are as gossipy as it seems.....

Who knew being a cleaning lady would involve so much drama? All I know is that tomorrow is Friday and also payday. As I have stated before earlier this week, my sitter has cancelled for spring break so I have a week to relax and clean my own house for a change.

Oh and the van drives like a dream. A/C is da B-O-M-B!!


Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Motorin'......

We are back in business when it comes to driving. We had to trade in Bessie the Truck for a little newer vehicle. We ended up getting a 2005 Dodge Grand Caravan in the Midnight Pearl Blue color. It's really nice and this is the first time we have had a mode of transportation that was dated in the current decade. I am excited! It has A/C, a radio, a CD player, dual sliding doors, and a rear A/C. We took it out around the town to try it out extensively, and unfortunately, we decided to give I-75 a go. BAD IDEA!!!!!! There was a huge accident that had the freeway backed up for miles. One lane out of three was closed down. When we finally got up to the accident site, it was brutal! The body was still laid out on the side of the road next to the crumpled shell of what used to be a Honda Odyssey. The roof had already been peeled back, but apparently to no avail. We moved along and went to Target. No sense rubber necking.... it does nothing but slow people down. While at target, we got a CD to see how the player worked. It's kind of touchy, but it did OK.

So now we have more reliable transportation. On the down side, we have a car payment again. BLARGH!!!! Well, it's the price you pay for something that has a working power steering pump. Yeah.... Bessies went out about two weeks ago. I was OK up until I tore something in my left elbow last Wednesday. Yep. Pain in the old elbow. It isn't as bad now, but I can definitely feel it when I am working. Hopefully I'll be getting better as we go along.

Speaking of work, it went better today. I worked with two other girls I have worked with before. They like me and think I do a good job. We were ahead of schedule all day and finished an hour early! HA! Take that mean speedy woman.

So that's all for now. More later.