Thursday, September 3, 2009

The Wrap Up.

Boss Lady is leaving tomorrow. I have to get her to the airport at 5:30pm so she can get some dinner and check in for her flight. It has been a whirlwind week. I feel like she just got here! I like being able to ask her questions and such whenever they come up. There's only so much you can communicate through email.
Today was interesting. Boss Lady had us meet with the other owner, J and we all went for coffee at C'est La Vie, a french pastry shop located down town. That was great and all, but I HAVE CELIAC'S DISEASE!!! There was NOTHING in that shop for me to eat. I had to politely decline when they offered me something. I didn't even get coffee because I had drank what equaled a pot of coffee already that morning. Shaky much? Yeah.... so I watched these two beautiful, amazing women snack on fresh fruit and creme' tarts while sipping cappuccinos and all I was having was water. I felt so freakin' out of place. How did I, a stay at home mom who only got this job to begin with because her husband got laid off suddenly find herself as manager of the whole damn thing 6 months later? It has to be a fluke. The other shoe hasn't dropped yet. I have to have been mistaken for someone else.
So anyway, there I was, sitting in a chic french bistro, watching my two bosses nibble french tarts, and I felt ....... frumpy, dorky, and gauche'. Sigh..... even when I am successful, I feel like I'm a failure. Well, maybe failure is too strong a word. How about we replace that with "Not Successful"? Yeah, that'll work. Even when I am successful, I'm feel not successful. At least that's the way I felt at the table today. Oh I was able to talk shop with them, answer questions, ask ones of my own, but I just got the feeling I didn't fit in. It was the same way I felt in High School when I was in the AP classes. I never fit in there either.

OMG! Speaking of high school and not fitting in.... I got my invite and itinerary for my 20 year HS reunion. Oh my sweet fuck! 20 years? Really? I am so freakin' old! Now I am deciding if I want to go to the reunion. There are maybe a hand full of people I care to see there and everyone else could fly off a cliff. I probably won't go. It would involve seeing my parents, (Who basically wrote me off last year.) and that may cause tension.

I have issues, huh?


Putz said...

you know blonde i have to say something to you....i have noticed traits of greatness in you all along, whereever you have been and whatever you were doing and especially with your kids, so i am not at all surprised...and i see greatness in becky too....telll her that, and i am mad because no one in utar is going to hear big O talk about education lady said after they throw the bum out then maybe i will let my 11 mormon children listen to hem as a hasbeen

Mrs. Holly Hall said...

Here is some unasked for advice:

When you start feeling that you don't belong at the grown up's table, when start feeling that you not sucessful

tell yourself to shut up.

and don't believe yourself.

Somehow you have a loop of words in your head that says, 'i'm not any big deal, i am not sucessfull . . . "

again, tell it to shut up.

Cause it's lying and not serving your purpose in life.

Which is to be blonde and fabulous.

so yeah, don't believe everything that you think and feel. Take a deep breathe and enjoy your good fortune. Cause you are indeed, very much, a woman in charge.

and that you can believe :)

phinz said...

Sometimes we are our own worst enemies . . .
BUt that's when it's time for your friends to step in and set you straight!
You are such an inspiration to me (and many others, no doubt). You are ALWAYS there when ANYBODY needs something and you are the world's best cheerleader for everyone, so be one for yourself!

You DO belong at that table with those women! Don't let clothes and being able to eat pastry become a dividing line! I'm sure they didn't see it that way since they kept you in the conversation and asked you questions that they did know answers to--and they're the owners. What a great compliment to you that they trust YOU with the day-to-day running of their business! You are a GREAT asset to them and they know that, as we all do.
They wouldn't be ABLE to have those clothes and pastries without you--and don't you forget it!

phinz said...

that was supposed to be "questions that they did NOT know the answers to"--sorry!