Tuesday, June 30, 2009

I'm Blue!!

HHH got me a spa pedicure tonight! It was pure bliss!

I went for an electric blue. I thought it was a summery kind of color! Then, I slipped on my sparkly heels and we went to Starbucks for a tea lemonade.

Sometimes, my evenings are made of WIN!

Monday, June 29, 2009

Pool Party!

Tonight, we went to what is going to be our future home in August for a pool party being put on by Verizon to hype their FIOS system. They had hot dogs, potato salad, chips, drinks, candy and watermelon. There were door prizes like a TV we were ineligible to win cause HHH works there, and other prizes such as recycling bags, hats and t-shirts. It was fun. I got to meet some of our soon to be neighbors, the kids got to swim, and I didn't have to cook for dinner!
Too bad it was a dry party because I would have L-O-V-E-D to be sipping another screwdriver. The temps had dropped since the rain that morning and it was beautiful.
So it was a really cool evening. Apparently Verizon will go out and court the people in the more affluent neighborhoods, because they sure as hell don't do BBQs here in the barrio!

Discrimination much??

Sunday, June 28, 2009

People Suck!

Yes, I know. That is a very broad statement, but there are enough sucky ones to make me have to say it every once in a while. Like today for instance.

I thought we had found Oscar another home. I told the woman on the phone that he isn't going to be all happy that we are giving him to a new home and that she would have to take at least a week or two to get used to him and vice versa. She said she was OK with that so I asked her what time she could come by to get him. Then she proceeded to give me some sob story about how she is afraid to drive for long distances and could we meet each other half way and yadda yadda yadda. Sigh, fine, where would she like to meet? She said there was a mall HALFWAY between us that we could meet in the parking lot. Fine, I get the directions from her, load up the kids and start off. And I'm driving...... and driving.......AND DRIVING! WTF man?!? Then she calls me and asks why I'm late, and I say it is a little farther than I she said while describing some landmarks and she tells me I am really close and it won't be long now. OK. I hang up the phone and I'm driving...... and driving......AND DRIVING! WTF!!??!! Now I am calling her, a little exasperated, asking if it is really much further and she assures me it is in the next block... and it was. I get to the parking lot and find the car I was supposed to meet up with....... and she isn't even in it. No, the only reason I drove that freakin' far was because the woman said she was scared to drive, AND SHE DIDN'T EVEN DRIVE THERE! Oh hells nah! It was her husband and her son (Who could have driven to Sarasota), and the guy met Oscar for 5 minutes, decided he didn't want him, gave me $5 for gas and drove off.


It turned out, the directions the woman gave me was to her hometown. Not halfway, not even part way but all the way to where she lived. The lady lied, I wasted my time and gas and all we got was $5???? I frickin' HATE people. I wouldn't be so angry except I told the woman on the phone Oscar has to have time to warm up to you. He isn't some Scooby Doo clone who is gonna bowl you over with kisses and love right away. He's a chihuahua. They are nippy and snippy by nature. It took us 2 weeks till Oscar decided we weren't going to hurt him and he could trust us, so thinking a chance meeting in a parking lot for 5 minutes is going to tell you all you need to know about a dog is just stupid. Maybe it's good Oscar didn't go with them. They were probably shitty dog parents anyway.

So now I have a migraine from the driving and the pissed offedness, I am making dinner, and doing laundry. HHH lined up someone else to come and look at Oscar tonight. A woman who has had chihuahuas before and knows they take time to warm up to you. She says no matter what, she wants Oscar and she's willing to work with him.

That's all I ask. A good home for my good friend.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

The Sh*t Has Hit The Fan!

OMG! The drama that has been going on at my job has been so frickin' hilarious. First of all, my boss J has sold 80% of the whole thing to a partner/investor. The woman was actually a consultant J brought in to analyze the business and give pointers on how to maximize profits. She liked the business so much, she invested her own money in it and now I have a new boss named L. L isn't around much though. She is splitting time between Michigan and Florida for something or another, so they had hired JJ to run the offce while J and L are gone. JJ does oll the scheduling and office work and the very first thing L and JJ did was to have all us employees sign new papers like new I-9's, W-4's, and confidentiality/non-compete contracts. That last one is important due to this next little tid bit of information. One of my co-workers was telling us that she had to go to part time because she had a tumor on her ovary and her doctor told her she had to cut back her hours. Alrighty then. Unfortunately, it turns out she was faking. She actually started working for another company or herself, not sure which, and she stole 2 of our best clients to boot! Needless to say, J,L, & JJ are PISSED! Oh, and remember that confidentiality/non compete contract we signed? Yeah, now they are going to sue former coworker for $5000.00 because she stole the clients. Yep. One of the clauses in the contract was if we quit and told another company about our work dealings, or stole clients, we would be sued for $5000.00 in small claims court.

Holy dollar signs Batman!!

Then, to make this even juicier.... JJ is going to be leaving us next month. Seems she doesn't like the house cleaning game. She has met a gentleman, got engaged, and is going to go work with him in his accounting firm. More power to her, but now S, my coworker that started the same time as me, is going to be moving up the ladder from Team Leader to Office Manager, and she wants me to take her place as Team Leader. I went through this tango before where they asked me about being Team Leader, but said I took too many days off because of my kids Doctor appointments. Well, I have to take my kids to the doctor or they might die, so that wasn't an option, so I passed on it then. Now S says she can work around me taking doctor's appointments off for the kids, and I'm gonna lay off the going on field trips thing so Mo and Junior can start exercising their independance without Mama Hen pecking and scratching after them. So I may be taking a leader position after all. Whee hee go me.

To top all this off, S keeps gossiping to me all the juicy goodies she gets from JJ because those two are thick as thieves. Nothing personal to S, but I don't wanna know who is getting fired, who is under observation, yadda yadda yadda..... it makes me uncomfortable. Still, maybe some strategic info on my part can help me to secure that Team Leader position. An extra buck an hour might be worth doing a little recon.

Oh and we are going to be moving again, this time by choice. We can't be jacked up this time either because we will have a regular lease. The place is bigger than most starter house and comes with a detached garage. I can't wait. I am so damn tired of Mariachi. I embrace other cultures, but there are limits.

HHH & I have reached ours. La Cucaracha is gonna get stomped!

Friday, June 26, 2009

So I Have This "Little" Problem......

I am apparently addicted to technology.

I know I am addicted. I am at peace with it. I know it looks weird when I am basically physically attached to my cell, lap top, and wi-fi spots. I bought a new cell phone based on the fact that it had a bigger screen for me to surf the web on it! My outlook on life some days comes down to, "Man, I am so gonna blog this when I get home.", or "I have to Twitter this!". That's OK. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Half to three quarters of America are just like me..... I just never realized how bad my addiction was till tonight.

See, we were on YouTube as a family, watching old Weird Al videos that were actually parody's of Michael Jackson songs(Fat, Eat It, etc...). From there we went to other Weird Al songs(UHF, Smells Like Nirvana, etc), one of those being "Amish Paradise". Sarasota has a rather large Amish population. It seems weird, but we do, and HHH started teasing Rebecca saying we were going to convert to being Amish.


Smartass kid! And she was TOTALLY serious. HHH just dissolved into fits of laughter. I sat there a little red in the face. Was my love affair with all things Internet really that obvious?? I guess so. Even my kids make fun of it.


Hi. My name is Blondefabulous, and I'm an Internet addict.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Um..... Say What?

First I was working at a house when I saw this on the client's TV.......

Then I got home to see this.

Um..... WTF Universe? These people kicking off makes me feel really frickin' old, and I didn't need any help in that department seeing as how the close side of 40 is approaching next month for me! I am so totally looking over my shoulder right now.

As one of my Twitter friends said,... "MJ and Farrah are gone, now who is gonna finish out the trifecta for the day?"

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

How To Not Heat Up The Kitchen In The Summer!

Basically, start with a slab of ribs, in a pan covered in tinfoil.
And a large grill, heated up to 350 degrees.
Cook slab of ribs slowly, OUTSIDE, away from your house so the house doesn't heat up with excess heat. This is especially important if you live in Florida and it is now getting to be 99 in the shade.
Most important is your grill must have a temperature gauge. That will help you cook the ribs at the right temp so they don't dry out.
After the ribs have cooked through, take them off the pan and lay them out on the grill to finish.
Lightly brush on a coating of your favorite BBQ sauce. I say lightly because if you put on too much it will burn and burnt ribs taste like ass. Major BBQ fail!
Make sure you make some sides to go with your ribs, (that cooked outside and not in the house thus heating up your home to uncomfortable sauna like temperatures). BBQ beans are a good choice. So is cole slaw, potato salad, fries, and garlic toast.
And there you have it! Dinner cooked outside, a home that didn't get to 85 degrees at 5pm, and an easy clean up to boot!

(also, a photo post is waaaaaay easy to do when you are stuffed full of BBQ.)

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Newly Wed, Artistically Dead.

When we go to a house and clean it, I take in all the surroundings. I look around and notice the dust catchers, the furnishings, and the carpeting. When we go into a home of a newly wed couple...... you can just TELL they have just started out in life. It's not the brand spanking new appliances in the kitchen, fresh from their wedding wrappings, it's isn't the furniture that looks like it just came off the showroom floor.......

It's the lack of artwork.

Newlywed homes have none. Literally. The only thing I ever see in these honeymoon hideaways is photos from their wedding. Photos from the chapel. Photos from the reception. Photos in the photographer's studio. They are EVERYWHERE! These people don't have any other art work, not on the walls, not on the end tables. It isn't like they can't afford it. They pay my boss to let us come over and clean. It's sweet that they want to surround themselves with the happiest day in their lives, but at some point, the honeymoon is over and they are gonna say, "Wow, the walls are pretty empty."

I am making this suggestion.

Instead of registering for a useless toast server, or gravy boat...... instead of buying a gift card that newly weds will spend on useless kitchen gadgets....... buy them art for their wedding. Real art, not crap from that guy who sell pictures on the side of the road. Lithographs and paintings. The $150 you were going to blow on that stupid ass fondue set you KNOW they are never going to use would be better spent on a master's replica of a Renoir or a Matisse. Part of what makes a house a home is the art both on the walls and on the tables. With our help, we can keep the newly wed from becoming artistically dead.

Unless of course, you happen to own a Picasso,(like the one couple we clean for.), ..... then you got it made!

Monday, June 22, 2009

Monday Was Fun Day.

Why yes, it was. I was off from work due to the fact that several of our regular Monday houses were on vacation. So, with nothing to do and time to sleep in, what happened? Our frickin' neighbors were up at 5am and let their kids run screaming through our yard. Well that riled up our dogs and we were all up and at 'em. After the dogs got settled down it was then time for HHH to get up for work. Then after that I tried to settle down for a short nap and that just didn't gel either. Isn't it always the way that when you can sleep in, you don't get to, but when you have to get up early, you fell like your never gonna wake up? Just par for the course, I guess.

So, I spent the day pretty much watching movies on TV and doing laundry from this weekend. We had a lot of damp clothes from doing the water rides and they were beginning to smell. So I lazed around the house, kicked back, sent naughty texts to HHH, and basically didn't do diddley! Tomorrow it's back to work as usual.

Now, I am off to bake a few cupcakes and watch some wrestling.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Father's Day Follies.

Oh man. Today was fun. I say this sarcastically, but really, we did end up having fun. The kids were being dorks.... and that is always par for the course. I was trying my damnedest to get HHH to have a good time, but between lines at the food places, VERY smelly tourists, and several rides breaking down, it was difficult at best. A few of the highlights were...

**Watching grown men scream like little girls when a plasti/resin shark head popped out of the water at Jaws.

** Having a margarita. Really. It was waaaaaaay too hot out there today.

** Being picked at the Beetlejuice show for some crowd participation, and totally surprising the actor guy by slipping him my card and saying "Call Me!" when he was expecting me to be shy and embarrassed! Gotcha!!!

** It was practically empty in both parks today. The holiday made it almost empty in there. Waiting times were almost nil and with the express passes we were basically walking onto every ride. God bless express passes!

On the margarita front, Universal has the shittiest policy when it comes to drinking on the property. You can buy a drink in one of the parks or in CityWalk, but you basically have to consume it right away. You can't go from park to park with it, can't leave with it, basically you can't enjoy it. The thing that gets me is, when they stopped me from going into IOA with my margarita, THERE WAS A BAR NOT 500 FEET INSIDE THE GATE SELLING THE EXACT SAME MARGARITA!!! Um, why do I have to throw mine out? So I can pay $8 for another one? Uh, no. Stupid!

So the weekend was OK. HHH had a good time. We made good time on the drive home and that's all she wrote until my birthday.

Now I am off to aloe up my shoulders.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Saturday In The Land Of Make Believe.

It was hot.

Like Africa hot.

Tarzan couldn't take this kinda hot.

But really, we live in Florida, so we knew what we were getting in to. Basically, the plan of attack was simple. Go to the regular rides first, shows next, then finish up on the water rides last. Good plan. We stuck to it and did almost everything. I say almost because we skipped the bigger roller coasters. The park was packed with people who were there to go to the LL Cool J concert later that evening. Hopefully tomorrow it will be a little more sane. A few things we saw today....

** A woman who did not want her hair to get wet on the Bilge Rat Barges ride, so she had on 2 shower caps. Um....IT'S A WATER RIDE, DUMB ASS!

** A couple who were riding Jazzy's. Each one of these folks was at least 450 lbs! There is almost NOTHING to do here that doesn't have a weight limit. Aside from the shows, (There are like 7), everything has weight and height requirements that will exclude you if you weigh over 300 pounds. Plus.... it was frickin' 100 degrees today with a heat index of 110! Those people had to be so uncomfortable, yet they were there with their family scooting along and holding everyone else's crap while they went and had a good old time. I just didn't get it.

** I will NEVER let my kids run around a theme park in just a teeny bathing suit or their underwear. I just shake my head at this when I see it. Yeah, little Billy getting wet was funny, but striping him down to his skives and letting him moon God and everyone in Universal is just creepy. You have no idea if the guy on the bench next to you is a predator, or just a PTA Dad! Plus, if you remove the clothes, at least put on sun screen. Way too many burnt up kids out there today!

** Universal won't let me drink my adult beverage all the way to the parking lot! Major suckage! We got a hurricane from Pat O'Brien's on the way out to the car and as we were approaching the people movers, there were two Rent-a-Cops that stopped me and motioned that I had to drink my drink before I could leave. WTF?? I wasn't driving. I wasn't intoxicated already. I wasn't doing anything! I guess it's more of an open container thing and all, but having to slam that whole hurricane made for a drunky Blondefabulous! Well, not drunky, but at least silly tipsy!

So there ya go. Day one of the Father's Day weekend here in Orlando! Stay tuned! More fun to come. If you want to see the photos I uploaded to flickr today, click here.

Friday, June 19, 2009

My Squeeze.

This past Tuesday was HHH's & my 5th wedding anniversary. Wow. 5 years. Most if the family on both his and my side said we wouldn't make it past 2. Thanks for the encouragement ya'll! In celebration of this auspicious occasion, we are headed out, yet again, to Universal Studios. We are also going to be celebrating Father's Day, HHH getting a permanent position at his current job, and HHH getting a raise along with said current position! Yep. Lot's to celebrate!

So, like I said yesterday, Happy Anniversary HHH! I really love you honey! Glad we could prove everyone wrong and keep it together!

Nya, nanny, nya nya!

Thursday, June 18, 2009


Yes, ladies and gentlemen.... we have our winner for the first ever contest here on Blondefabulocity.

It's Mommielicious

Hooray, cheers and all that! Yes Nicole, better known on Twitter as Mommielicious, guessed that this week held the special occasion that was my anniversary! My 5th wedding anniversary! So, for guessing this great and wonderful occasion, she wins a beautiful Las Vegas pin! Yes, Vegas.... Sin City. What happens there stays there, and what happened there 5 years ago was mine & HHH's wedding at the fabulous TI. It wasn't cheesy or anything! Promise! And we even had it broadcast over the Internet so the people who couldn't come to Vegas could still watch. We spent a glorious week in the gambling den, at the pool, at the bars, at the slot machines...... It was great. We flew home married and happy..... and we still are!

So thanks to everyone who participated..... all 5 of you! Maybe my next contest will be more fun! And Nicole...... call me so I can get w'you to find out how you want me to send your pin!

Oh, and HHH honey........ I love you so very, very much! Happy anniversary sweet heart!

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Better... And Your Last Hint!

OMG yesterday sucked! I hate the stomach flu! Unfortunately, having to go into 3 to 4 different houses every day leaves you 3 to 4 times likely to pick up someone else's cold of flu germs. Today was pretty good. C was with me and we had 4 houses that were pretty easy. The first two had no one home, although the second of the two was weird because we had to chase off a herd of deer that was eating the decorative shrubbery in front of the house. Never seen that before. Also, it was weird in the second house because I know for a fact the people went up to New York state until August, but there were dirty dishes, crumbs everywhere, and dirty foot prints in the shower! Me thinks the house sitting service is availing themselves of the clients house w/o permission! Eeeewwwwww!

Anyway, I was pretty much at half strength the entire day, which made cleaning stuff twice as hard today. Glad most of the houses were really clean. If we had had one of our regulars that are usually really dirty, I think I would have passed out. I was still just that tired today. Good for me the kids have a doctor's appointment on Thursday and I basically get to rest all day. The good old Endocrinologists is tomorrow... time to play, "What are we changing the insulin levels to this time?" Here's hoping that their A1c's are good. These kids ping pong their sugars all over the place.

And now, for the last hint of the week. I've had some good guesses so far, so keep them coming. I'll announce a winner on Friday. For the record.... you aren't supposed to guess what the hint is about, but the special occasion the hint has to do with pertaining to this week.

HINT #4-
Get enchanted by the beautiful Sirens of TI® as they lure a band of renegade pirates into their cove with powerful and captivating melodies. The clash between the mesmerizing temptresses and their rebel prey transforms this 17th century story into a 21st century revelry of song and dance, seduction and danger. Experience the excitement nightly in Siren’s Cove at the front entrance of Treasure Island Hotel and Casino.

And there you go. Last hint. I'll also put up a photo of the prize on Friday as well.

Good Luck!

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Blargh..... and another hint!

I have spent the last day in bed and in the bathroom.

I have apparently picked up a bug from one of the houses we cleaned yesterday.

I have barely been able to move.

I haven't eaten.

I haven't really slept.

I forgot to blog.

So here's hint #3 since I was ill for #2.

HINT- It has to do with Pirates, and bandits missing an appendage!

So there you go. Keep the guesses coming!

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Next Week.

I am going to be busy this week.

Monday- Call Dr. Fatmi and cancel appointment because of .....
Tuesday- Take Rebecca to Orthopedist and get progress report on her wrists.
Wednesday-Work, work, work.
Thursday- Take Junior & Morgan to Endocrinologist for their 3 month check in.
Friday- Work work work some more.
Saturday- Wash all of the clothes, clean the house.
Sunday- BBQ for HHH because it's FATHER'S DAY!

See? Busy busy busy. And in the midst of all of this there is something special that is going to happen. Like Father's Day isn't special enough, right? To make this even more fun..... I am announcing a contest. But only for my regular readers. I'm not going to put it anywhere else but right here on this blog.


You have to guess what special event is happening this week, and Father's Day is not it! If you have been keeping up with my blog, you may have an inkling of what the event is. I'll lay down hints and put up my email addy, and on Friday, I'll pick a winner! What can you win, you ask?

Why a beautiful pin. One that will be a hint on Thursday. As for today's hint.....

One king Suite Sensational pillowtop bed with lighted and padded headboards"

There ya go! Hint #1. Like I said, email your answers to nicolewetherington1972@yahoo.com. First right answer wins the mystery prize.

Good Luck!

Saturday, June 13, 2009



It's a fun game. I never really got into it, but HHH likes it. We own the "Here & Now" edition of it. In school, I learned that a monopoly was when one entity owned all the outlets of a certain business. Like when there is only one bank, or there is only one car dealership. Without competition, there can be no price wars and then only one person decides how much something costs and how big the supply can be. It just isn't fair.


In real life, a monopoly sucks. Many utility companies have monopolies on the services they render. There's only one electric company for your town. You can only get your clean water from the city you live in. Granted, these people are overseen by various governmental offices so they can't really gouge the hell out of us, but you get my point. Monopolies are alive and well in the year 2009.

And it SUCKS!

You see, I tried to rent some games from another monopoly today. One you all know as "BLOCKBUSTER VIDEO". Seems they have a new policy about how you are allowed to rent their games. Your credit card on file must be able to take a charge every 7 days. This means that every 7 days, BLOCKBUSTER VIDEO is going to run your card for $1, and if, for any reason, your card comes back as rejected or unable to process, you are suspended from renting any video games from them till such time as they can run it for that errant $1.


As we were up at the counter going through the motions of renting the two games for the kids, the gangly clerk in need of a suntan informed us of this "new" policy. Because of BLOCKBUSTER VIDEO having screwed us over before by charging extra and over charging our credit cards, we got a pre paid credit card and now use it for all our memberships like the one at BLOCKBUSTER VIDEO. That way we can't be over charged or erroneously charged for stupid crap, then having to wait for weeks to get the money re credited onto the card. We pay in cash at the store and go on our merry way. Now, thanks to the new policy at BLOCKBUSTER VIDEO, we will have to keep some cash on that card at all times. Needless to say, I was not pleased. I refused to give them another card and walked out of the store without the games, much to my children's disappointment. As I fumed in the car on the way home, I started thinking about it....... BLOCKBUSTER VIDEO pretty much has a monopoly on the home entertainment business when it comes to movie rentals and games. Unless I want to shell out $50 every time my kids want a new game to play, I am going to have to bend to BLOCKBUSTER VIDEO'S whims. I have to bend over and take it like a man because BLOCKBUSTER VIDEO had basically run everyone else out of business! Oh sure there are a few mom and pop places still left, but in the grand scheme of things, we're screwed. No lube...... no $100 left on the nightstand.

Monopoly. It's wrong for a reason.

Remember to take some lube with you the next time you go to rent a video game.

Friday, June 12, 2009

Friday Follies!!

I'll make this quick since I know ConFab is this weekend and no one is going to be reading blogs anyway. I am so jealous. I would have liked to go, but we spent all our available $$ on that debacle of a weekend just past, and now we're saving for my birthday weekend.

** Morgan got her Jury report from the Sarasota Ballet. She passed with an 80 out of 100 possible points! I am so proud of her! She has been invited back for next years company when it starts back up in August! I am excited. This program has helped her confidence grow by leaps and bounds and i can't wait to see how she does next year!

** Rebecca goes back to the Ortho on Tuesday to see how her wrists are healing. We are REALLY hoping that the cast will come off and a brace will be substituted in it's place. 2 weeks ago, I asked all of you out there to send us good juju so her cast would come off then.... but to no avail. I think some of you people weren't even trying! I NEED GOOD JUJU PEOPLE!!

** Morgan got her FCAT scores back this week. She has scored in the 4th and 5th grade levels for both math and reading. I find the math scores especially ironic because she has had C's all year in math because the school subscribes to a curriculum that includes timed tests. Basically, they give the kids a sheet with 100 problems on it and give them 3 minutes to solve as many as they can. Morgan was always getting F's on those, but A's on the regular chapter tests. I knew it was the timed tests that were screwing her grade over. Now I have the proof! The Celiac's makes it hard to do the fast paced tests for her because it messes with your brain chemistry. I had the same problems in school too. Glad to see Morgan has been vindicated!

** My idiot fuckwad BIL is on the phone asking HHH for money. Ain't gonna happen asshole!

** The new Office Manager at work is making waves and the ladies I am working with don't like it. The Hungarians who used to have free reign over what & when they worked are no longer able to call the shots and it is pissing them off. I'm waiting for the inevitable meltdown that will be happening soon.... very soon.

** HHH has to work this weekend. I am going to be cleaning and relaxing this weekend. I'd rather be at ConFab. That is all.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Cracker Jack Box.

That's where I am convinced most of the drivers down here got their licenses! No one seems to know what a turn signal is, there is absolutely no use of courtesy when changing lanes, and everyone here is color blind. Cissafireheart already wrote a post about her driving companions up north, but I thought I'd add a few things to her list. Here goes....


I just don't see how people can ignore the big red signs at the end of the street. Honestly! I have seen plenty of accidents and near accidents because of this. And this isn't the texting/chatting/emailing people.


Red means stop. Simple, succint, and to the point. Take you foot off the fucking gas and hit the brakes. The yellow light before the red means you need to slow your ass down. Once again.... simple.


If the crosswalk signal is showing the little white people, that means I get to go across the street. It does NOT mean you can cut me off, turn in front of me, or try to run me over because you are in a hurry. Take a chill pill and slow the fuck down.


I get all the rights and privileges afforded to any other vehicle. I am allowed to ride on the road. I follow all the signs and signals. I stop for stop signs. I yield for yield signs.... you get the drill. I would appreciate it if drivers would stop cutting me off, skipping me, and generally treating me like I'm not there. If I have to follow the road rules, so do you.


I know most of my rules have to do with me riding my bike, but this one is special. See one day, as we were in the toaster, we got stuck behind this shitty conversion van from Ohio. It was doing.... I kid you not, 2 MPH! The reason for this lack of speed? The man's wife was literally hanging out the passenger side window with a handy cam filming the water and the harbor. OMG! If you want to take pretty pictures and video, stop at the park that was on the side of the road and do it from there! Do not get me squashed by the giagantic 4 wheel drive behind me.

Ok, that's all I have for now. I didn't go into the whole "Text/chat/email while driving thing, only because that would take up a whole post by itself! As I have fully commited to riding my bike to work all summer, I am sure I will have more to blog about later on. Toodles everyone, and let's be careful out there!

Wednesday, June 10, 2009


Man, I'm tired today. Didn't have monster houses like yesterday, and there was 3 people on our team which made time go by quickly. I don't know...... I'm just sleepy! Maybe it was the 10 foot glass windows I had to clean in the last house. A feat for me considering I am 5'4" tall. Me, the ladder, and the squeegee had a good old time.


Oh, in other news...... I got a photo of mine used on Davezilla.com. I must warn you... it is a little scary, but not as scary as when I had to see it in person! I'm known as Nicolette on there. Some of the comments so far have been really funny.


OK, I'm getting a scone and some tea and going to bed.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Ew. Just Ew.

Tuesday dawned bright and cheerful.... promising a new day filled with surprises, all of the bad, but still..... My day started off with me getting up at about 7:30am, Relaxing in bed till about 8am, then, just as I was going to the kitchen to toast up a gluten free scone..... my cell phone goes off. It's the New Office Manager. She is asking me why I am not at work right now. Ummmm...... because the new partner, L, told me I didn't have to be in until 9am, that's why. Come to find out that L didn't tell NOM she told me to go in at 9 so, oops, I'm late. Not really though, cause it wasn't my fault. So I get ready and hop on the bike to go into work. Turns out I didn't miss much. The first client forgot to leave us a key under the mat and the other team couldn't get in. The next two houses were OK. The first one had the sweetest little Dachshund in it. So cute! The last one though.... sucked major ass. The above photo is of the kitchen in the place. OMG! The photo doesn't show all the food all over the floor, or the coffee grounds and beans all over the counter. The sink was full of food and water and some sort of spoiled milk. It was horrible.
The floor in the dining room was no better. Old food everywhere, dishes left all over, smudgy food hand prints on every surface. Most everything was covered in a thick layer of dust, and there were cobwebs everywhere. The kids room had a layer of toys on it that I had to shovel up into the nearest toy box, under which I found used pull ups moldering underneath. My partner had chosen to do the bathrooms, (poor lady), and all I could hear was Hungarian curse words peppered with the phrase "More money!" It was terrible.

What was supposed to be a job that would only take an hour and a half, took us 2 hours and 5 minutes! I was not amused. You may think it was a party weekend for this family, but no. It's like this every time we go there. I have been there before and it was a shit hole than too. These people only have us come once a month, but really it should be once a week! It is so damn nasty. And the kicker today was the woman came home as we were on the ass end of cleaning for her and said, "Oh I know it was just awful in here. I just don't clean, so lord knows I need the help." She laughed as she said it, but I really hope she considers us coming more often. As it was, we went back to the office after that house and I told NOM she needed to charge those people more for the cleaning we did. There is no way with it being that shitty inside it should only be $80!

After I got home, I instantly got in the shower and proceeded to exfoliate my whole person. I just felt icky. Like that house was still stuck to me.


Just ew.

Monday, June 8, 2009

Ooooooo.... Gifts!

Lookie what I got today! My Zulugrass necklace I won from Eco Child's Play!It is totally awesome. And I quote from the back of the presentation card...

" Have fun designing with Zulugrass Beaded jewelry made by the Masai women of Kenya.Natural dyed grass beads mixed with glass beads, stretchy, fits all, durable, lightweight, water resistant, colorful, and fun! Zulugrass jewelry is versatile and eco-friendly. Give the gift of opportunity! This jewelry helps employ the women of Africa. www.zulugrass.com."

It's color is dark honey #206. It looks really cool and the grass beads don't feel like any grass I have ever walked on! The glass beads with it are amber in color and I bet if I had had it this weekend, it would have looked bitchin' with my sundress! Thanks Wenona, for the wonderful addition to my jewelry collection. The Eco friendliness of it also fits into my new job as well. Now all I need are some bamboo fiber t shirts and some hemp shorts and I'll be all set!

(PS- This makes for two things I have won so far in the last two months, if you're keeping score. Any more luck like this and I'll be on the next flight to Vegas!)

Sunday, June 7, 2009


** I find it weird that the interpreter for the hearing impaired sign that the Beetlejuice show has loud music and pyrotechnics. What do they care? They can't hear anyway!

** It is pointless to try and drive in the rain when everyone else thinks rain = STOP! Useless waste of freeway space.

** If there is a small accident on the side of the road, EVERYONE will slow down to an almost dead stop. Another useless waste of freeway space.

** I tend to scream obscenities at the people in the above two instances.

** Tourists will always stop at the point of a walkway that has the least amount of space across and block the way so no one can get by, thereby creating a back up of sweaty, smelly people.

** I hate my husband's family.(But not Pops.)

** A grown man, outside in a thunderstorm, will jump a good two feet in the air when lightning strikes the roller coaster he is walking next to. I watched and laughed my ass off. I was indoors at the time. (Blondefabulous ain't stupid.)

** Our family always gets "Galaxy Defender" when we go on Men In Black. ALWAYS! Even my 7 year old son can score over 100,000 points. The ride car seats six people, and our family only has five,so we usually get a single rider with us. My tiny ballerina scored 214,775, where as the adult male single rider that rode along with us only scored 1500!

** My new favorite word is "Fabboobulous". DamamaT made that up just for me!

** Next time I go to Orlando,(which will be next month for my birthday!!) I would like to meet up with some Orlando bloggers. I never get to go and meet anyone! I'm glad I got to meet Mommilicious back in December, yet I'd like to meet a few more of you guys!

Saturday, June 6, 2009

It's Official....

Both of HHH's brother's can kiss my ass and choke on a fart!

We got a hold of Middle BIL finally at 9PM. We finally got an answer to why he wasn't on the plane on Friday. His car was broken down.


WTF?? He doesn't call. He doesn't email. He doesn't give any indication that he isn't coming. We were paying for E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G! He wasn't going to have to shell out for a damn thing. He couldn't take a fucking taxi??? The kicker of it is, he didn't want to fly down here because he didn't want to leave his wife and child without transportation, but HIS CAR IS STILL BROKEN NOW, EVEN AS WE SPEAK!!!! It has been broken this whole time, and it would still be broken even if he flew his ass down here.


I just don't get it. I thought family was more than just a word people used to describe a group of people who had the same last name. I thought family stuck together. I thought family cared about each other. So far all family has shown us is that they are rude, stupid, and jerks. We've been used, and taken for granted.

Can't do it any more. Sorry, the emotional bank is closed for the duration and there will be no bailout coming. This just keep happening over and over again. I think it's time for the Blondefabulous clan to circle the wagons and say fuck it. Tomorrow, we are going to go to Universal and it's just going to be us. No BIL's, no weird FIL's girlfriend, (who by the way is a PRIZE), just HHH, myself and the kids. We're gonna do it our way, to quote the Chairman of the Board, and we're gonna have fun!

Family be damned! Right now, the only family I have is HHH & the kids. Oh and you, dear readers!

Friday, June 5, 2009

Weekend Follies.

I don't know why I expected anything better of HHH's other brother. Maybe it was just wishful thinking on our part. This morning when HHH called the airline to check and see if the plane was running on time, we found out that HHH's brother WAS NOT on the flight! Um.... Whisky, Tango, Foxtrot???!!!??? We paid $211 for his plane ticket! We had plans for buying him a 2 day/2 Park ticket! We were going to take care of his food and lodging all weekend! OMG! I am so pissed off right now. We didn't get a call. We didn't get an email. Nothing! We had this whole weekend planned so HHH's Dad could celebrate his 50th birthday with all 3 of his sons and now it's ruined. Dad sounded so upset when he found out that Middle BIL wasn't coming. I'm just pissed because the whole situation made HHH cry. He DOESN'T cry often, so when he does, it's big. He misses his brother and I hope the fucker is proud of what he's done.

OK, bad family aside. We went to the park today and caught a couple of rides. We tried to see the Beetlejuice show, but it got rained out. Since it was a typical Florida afternoon, (read:thunder storms), we went over to Margaritaville and had a late lunch and a very LARGE margarita on the rocks. Yum! We also got the souvenir photo and key chains! What can I say, we're touristy! The margarita also came in a souvenir glass, as you can see from the photo above.

So, now tomorrow we are meeting up with fuckwad BIL and Dad and come hell or high water we are going to have fun damnit!

Many photos and video will follow.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Hey Now, I'm A Rock Star......

Holy crap!I was just Karl's guest on Talkshoe! If you don't know who Karl is...... where the heck have you people been? Under a rock??? He has a radio show every Thursday night at 10 PM eastern and I am really hoping that I wasn't a boring guest!

Tomorrow will be busy. Don't know if I can post, but I know I will be Twittering, so keep tuned in!

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Just Stuff

I have a lot going on this week, so you'll have to bear with me on this....

**The photo above is where I was working to day. A four story beach house that was lavishly appointed and luxed up to the max! It even had a POOL on the roof! I guess if you have money there are worse places to live! The funny thing was, these people weren't home because they had left on vacation. Um.... with a view like that, I'd feel like I was on vacay everyday!

**This is the weekend that we are going to Universal for HHH's family get together. We are getting up bright and early Friday morning, picking up Middle BIL from the Tampa airport, and heading to Orlando! If anyone wants to meet up for drinks that night, shoot me a comment or an email! On Saturday, HHH's Dad and the fuckwad BIL are meeting us at the parks and family fun will ensue! I expect to be tired and funned out by the end of the day. On Sunday, we are going up to HHH's Dad's in Lake City since he has to go back Saturday evening for a prior engagement. That was he'll get to see Middle BIL some more. He hasn't seen him in 6 years! After that it's back to Sarasota for one more night and then we go to the airport Monday evening to bid Middle BIL a fond farewell.

**I am going to be featured on Secondhand Radio on Talkshoe! Yes Karl had a last minute opening and lo and behold, I snagged it! I always said I had a face for radio..... now I can prove it! I just hope I don't bore everyone to death. (All 2 of them!) A whole hour of me may only last 10 minutes!

**I have been riding my bike to work every day and so far I believe people are idiots when they drive! They don't pay attention to the traffic signals, they ignore pedestrians and bicyclists, and they don't pay attention to anything but their cell phones and iPods! I know this because I almost got ran over 5 times this week so far. I'm gonna see if I can go for seven tomorrow!

**The new office manager decided to try and hassle me about needing the 18th off for my two kids Diabetes clinic. I told her it was not something I could get out of, and she suggested that if I changed the kids diet, they would be "cured" of their diabetes. Um.... 'scuse me? I have been on the diabetic, then diabetic+Celiac diets since Mo was 16 months old and Junior was 2 years! I think by now if a low sugar/low carb diet was going to "cure" them, it would have worked by now. I know eating well will help with a host of ills, but a non working organ in you body is not one of them. Still, I smiled and said thanks for the day off.

**According to Wii Sports, I am 29 years old. According to the calender, I will be turning 37 on the second of next month. *sigh* Make the aging S-T-O-P!

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

The Return Of Oscar.

He's back, ladies and gentlemen! Oscar is returning to the household!

Why, you ask? Well, apparently he has been biting the youngest child of the woman who took him. The little girl is 5 and still a little grabby when it comes to pets. Oscar has always been a little nippy when someone grabs him (a remnant of having been tortured by BIL's 4 kids), so I guess we will be getting our 8th back. The woman is bringing him back tomorrow afternoon. With the kids home from school, I won't have to worry about him getting bored I guess. I am glad she called me because one of my stipulations of giving Oscar to her was if, for any reason, she could no longer keep Oscar, she had to call us back asap so we could take him back.

First chance I get, he's getting his nutz cut off! I bet that will settle him down real quick!

So, welcome home Oscar. I have missed you!

Monday, June 1, 2009

Awww Damn It!

Well..... we got good news, and bad news today when we beat ass over to Becca's orthopedic appointment. (I got out of work late.) The good news is she is healing really fast. The doc predicted that she would only be in a cast for two more weeks! I guess all that extra calcium I have been shoving down her gullet has been helping! The bad news is, she got another cast, not a brace. This means that at Universal this weekend, no roller coasters and NO WATER RIDES!! Nope. None, and it is going to be in the 90's on Saturday!

She did get to pick a new color cast, so that buoyed her spirit. She went with Hot pink. She also informed me that she doesn't want anyone to sign this one because, "I want it to stay pink and pretty!" OMG what a girly girl!
She kept the old cast, because all of her school friends signed it for her. It was better than a yearbook! I did promise her that if she got cast again, I would take her to Claire's in the mall and buy her some of those Arm covers. Have you seen these? They are like gloves, but they go over your lower arms. She swears they are the B-O-M-B, but I'm not as convinced. A promise is a promise though.

On a funny side note, the other two kids are none too pleased with Rebecca getting all this attention from her broken bones. Usually our world revolves around them and their Diabetes and Celiacs, but now someone ELSE is getting all the medical attention and they are not thrilled. Junior keeps trying to get attention and Morgan is trying all of her "cute" tricks. Tonight, Morgan broke out with, "No fair! She's only getting all the attention because she's broken!" I laughed and laughed!

And so ends another day in the Blondefabulous household. Now, if you will excuse me, I am going to enjoy a movie and some Lisbon Lemon Talenti Sorbetto! Thank you Publix for carrying this necessary item. It is $2 cheaper than at Whole Foods!