Tuesday, March 31, 2009


That's how I am describing today. One word: Hateful.

I was paired with two people today. The really fast lady from last Friday, and one of the other ladies who had been with the company for a while. They were great buddies. Chatty, laughing,..... um well chatty and laughing not including me. Oh, and the houses we did today..... huge, dirty, and confusing. Oh, and they had me clean in a totally different way than I was shown. That was a BIG help. (NOT) At one point in time, I was apparently going too slow for them because they took my mop from me and totally pushed me to the side. Yep, me.... the Queen of cleaning was sucking sweaty balls. Needless to say, I was having a crisis of faith in my skills. Yesterday I did so good working and having my boss check my work. Boss lady liked what I was doing, so why do I feel like such a troll when I work with the fast lady. For a while, I felt like they were purposefully giving me the hardest jobs in the houses we were doing so I would fail on purpose, but no one can be that mean. (I hope.)

Other than that, it just got better and better. Junior was being an ass when I picked him up, I burnt a bag of popcorn and stunk up the house, and I forgot to take anything out of the freezer for dinner. On the good side, I got a desk yesterday and we got it put together today. All of my stuff fits on it with room to spare. HHH also brought us home a glass coffee table that is held up with a resin elephant statue, plus some matching framed art. After a little rearranging, we got everything in and situated and I have found...........

I am running out of room in this small house.

Oh well..... maybe we can move stuff around some more.

Monday, March 30, 2009

It Was A Monday.

Yep, it sure was. We got up and got everyone going and I got to work and I had the unfortunate task of informing my boss that I was going to have to take all of next week off because my baby sitter backed out at the last moment. Yeah I found out that little gem on Friday afternoon. As it was, I rescheduled a Dr.'s appointment that was supposed to be tomorrow, but I figured that they could move it so I could work all 5 days this week and at least have one whole week on the next paycheck.

And, just in case you all think I can just plop the kids in a daycare or a camp,.... nuh-uh. Because of the Diabetes, I have to have the use of a nurse to administer shots, or at least a CNA! That was going to cost me BIG time. Like, $200 bucks a kid big. Um.... that would eat my whole two week pay check for a bill for 1 week!! Oh hell naw! I'll stay home.

So other than that, the day was uneventful with the exception of my boss decided to put all us new girls on a team today and then follow us after each job to check up on us. yep it was do or die time. We did good. We were on time, did a thorough job, and got back to the office on time! Yay for us. I guess I passed the test. I know how to clean piss and crap off of a toilet, pubic hairs out of the bath and shower, and dust and dirt off your knick knacks and floor.

I....... am...... teh.......AWESOME!

Now if I could just muster the energy to do that at my own home.

Are there things you do at work that you just don't have the energy to do at home too??

Sunday, March 29, 2009


I spent today with HHH and the kids. Relaxing, taking it easy, and picking up a mattress for Junior. There is no blog today, only Zoul!

I'll catch up tomorrow.


Saturday, March 28, 2009

Because I cannot Have Them....

You Are a Glazed Donut
Okay, you know that you're plain - and you're cool with that.
You prefer not to let anything distract from your sweetness.
Your appeal is understated yet universal. Everyone digs you.
And in a pinch, you'll probably get eaten.

Wanna see what you are? Go here......

Friday, March 27, 2009

Swimmin' Pools, Movie Stars.

Today was full of suck. I was full of suck. It wasn't that I really sucked, but that I was paired with someone who was really good at the job.

Oh, and we had to clean a 3 story mansion.

That REALLY sucked!

I started the day like any other. Got to work, started making preparations like always, and when I looked at the job book, I saw I was paired with someone I had never worked with before. This girl was Fast, or actually I should say Muy Rapido because she didn't speak English. Good thing I understand Spanish. We only had 3 houses today, but that first one was massive! It had 6 bedrooms, 5 bathrooms, a huge open air living room, large kitchen, breakfast nook, formal dining room, bar, master suite, 5 walk in closets, movie theater, wine cellar, lanai, office, pool, patio, and 3 garages. The art work was massive and beautiful. There were 10 flat screens that were 32" or larger. Oh.... and did I mention it sat right on the inter coastal with views of the Ringling Bridge and Causeway? I didn't? How silly of me. I took pictures.... but they're stuck in my phone for right now. The girl I was working with had cleaned this house before so she knew all the in's and out's. I, however, was completely clueless. I felt like a stone around her neck, dragging her slowly as she had to explain every little thing and nuance to me. This home was a very important client. I think we charge $300 for it. I wanted to get everything right. I sucked. I was also dehydrated after we finally did finish. Sheesh! What is with everyone leaving the A/C off?? Um... I need to add that to yesterday's list. If you want your cleaning people to work well, leave on the A/C so we are comfortable and can work with out sweating to death!

So, the rest of the day went on like that. We went to the other houses and the girl literally ran circles around me, and I am no slouch. The second house was so damn filthy, I didn't know what to think. Hair, dust, and trash were everywhere. The had a sink piled high with dirty dishes, and a dishwasher that was already full of clean ones. The bathrooms were atrocious, the bedrooms were too. It wasn't a big house, it was just trashed beyond all recognition. The last home was clean. It just needed maintaining. Still, it was large and took a while. By the end of the day, I was all sweaty, tired, and still dehydrated! Luckily, I have the weekend to recover.

Oh, and did I mention some idiot was beating on the door at 5:30am this morning? Yeah. Idiot was looking for the dealer who used to live here. HHH made short work of that. He can be very intimidating when woken up out of a comfy bed 30 minutes before he should be. So I was already dragging ass from losing the sleep from that. It made my day so much more enjoyable.

I am sleeping in tomorrow.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

A How To Guide For People Having Their Home Professionally Cleaned, By Blondefabulous.

OK. You know that I have been working these last couple of weeks for a green cleaning company. We go, we clean, we leave. Simple, right?


Every kind of conceivable thing has happened so far..... from the naked people to overly picky followers. I can usually tune everyone out now since I got the iPod, but some people are just OMGSTFU! Here is a short list of pointers from me on what you should and should not do when paying to have your house cleaned by a professional company.


I cannot stress this enough. If you are under foot, using the bathroom, showering, cooking, watching TV, etc, etc, etc.... it makes it harder for us to do our job. If you are still cooking, I cannot clean your kitchen, if you decide to take an hour long steam shower don't make that decision until AFTER we are done because I will not be able to clean your bathroom if your naked ass is still in it, if you are having company stay with you, please mention to them that we are arriving so they can get their hemorrhoid creams, herpes medication, and other such crap out of the bathroom, I don't need to see that. And while we are on the subject of company....


Why, why, WHY would you have strange people in your house the week we come to clean? It's not enough we have to wipe up your mess, pee, poop, and assorted pubic hairs, now we have to do it for you guests too? Um.... no. I am not in that frame of mind. Most customers have us come once every 2 weeks, and so schedule your friends and family to come on the days we are not going to be there. Last week we went to a home where the people were all sitting around shooting the shit while I was schlepping around all the dusters and cloths trying to clean around them. Bleck!


This sounds simple, but it isn't. Most people can't help but chat you up as you are trying to wipe up last night's dinner off of the stove. It's like we're some sort of bartender/therapist person or something. There's just one problem with that.... we are on a schedule. In the morning, our boss prints out the day's houses for us to go to and just how long each one is supposed to take. If we dawdle, we get in trouble, so stopping to chat is just not an option. Add to that the fact that we can overlook things that need a little extra attention if we are yammering away with you and voila.... house is still crappy even after we clean, so please, just find a quiet place to sit, or go for a walk, or camp out and watch TV in the family room. Just remember to lift your feet when we come through with the vacuum.


Today, I cleaned in a home of an older woman who had a personal assistant. As I was cleaning the kitchen, this "assistant" came up to me, introduced herself, and proceeded to insert herself in between the client and us. "Don't speak to the client, just to me.", was the gist of the conversation I got. (The woman ignored my iPod clad ears.) Um... I'm just a flunky lady, go talk up my boss. KTHNXBAI! It made me think, why is this woman controling the client. The client also had a personal nurse, a physical therapist, and some other person over while we were there. All of those people introduced themselves to me. I just wanted to clean the scum ring out of the kitchen sink. I don't want to know your business, (even though I kinda do through cleaning up after you and emptying your trash.) Keep it to your self, mkay?


This includes dirty undies, naughty items of a vibrating nature, any kind of media, printed or video, of a questionable nature, or any kind of paper work which is sensitive in nature. In my years as a house cleaner (from back in 2007) I knew about one clients adoption trials, another's alcohol abuse, someone's health troubles, and another's porn addiction. While I may do the dirty work of cleaning up your home, I do not want to handle your dirty business.(ie- used condoms, snotty hankies, and feminine hygiene products.) We see everything. We'll know everything.


If you follow me around the whole time I am there, I will never get anything done. If you have a list of things you want us to concentrate on, write it down or call the boss and ask her to put it on the invoice sheet for us to look at. It will get done faster and more efficiently that way. People always saying, "Hey can I show you something..." every 15 minutes throws off our rhythm and makes us take longer. Don't do it. It suck ass.

Well, that's all I have for now. I'm sure I will have more later. For now.... take these tips and if you can, hire some hard working girls to clean your home. We appreciate your patronage, just not your interference.

PS- the photo is NOT me!

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

I Have....

.... super hot, awesome, totally cool husband.

.... a job that will help support my family.

.... an awesome bunch of kids.

.... a craving for a gluten free cranberry orange scone.

.... a tea habit. With milk and sugar please!

.... two kids with type one diabetes.

.... one kid with Celiac's disease.

.... the ability to make cakes and pastry.

.... awesome blog friends.

.... a husband who has a gravity free, tight butt. (I'm jealous.)

.... dishes to do, but I'm avoiding them.

.... two dogs. One is insane, one is a dumb blonde.

.... one cat. One VERY fat cat.

.... a velvet Elvis painting. A real one, signed and everything.

.... a hankering for some Tazo "Brambleberry" tea.

.... a blog post.

What do YOU got?

Tuesday, March 24, 2009



Oh yes, this is the new game here in the Wetherington household. About a few weeks ago, Rebecca came home and we had to go out to fetch Morgan from ballet practice. While we were headed over to the studio, Rebecca suddenly screams out, "Punchbuggy! No punch backs!!!" and hauls off and and smacks me in the arm. I yelp and ask her what the heck she's doing. Rebecca explains to me that even though we have our family game of "U-Haul", the kids at school play "Punchbuggy" and she really wants to play that. OK then. We'll play "Punchbuggy".

Right now, it stands at me owing Rebecca 8 punches. I usually see the VW Bugs since I am driving, but I rarely punch because I am driving and in the traffic today is not very friendly. Just this morning I was almost wrecked twice. Some jerkoff in a fancy, schmancy Honda decided to wait until I was 15 feet from him to pull out in front of me while I was going speed. Dumbass! My truck would have torn right through his Foriegn piece of crap! (The 88 Chevys are very heavy in the metal and reinforcement department.)

So now we are all playing the "Punch buggy" game. It's cool we have family road games to play. Lately, We've been singing the songs from the iPod. Rebecca and I have "I'm Dominican" stuck in our heads from the Scrubs "My Musical" album. Then there's my son who can sing the "Soul Man" song from front to back. He even has a pair of sunglasses that he got from one of the strike crew members of the Blues Brothers show. Morgan hasn't picked a song to be her favorite, and HHH says he enjoys the silence. Party pooper.

What family road games do you play??

Monday, March 23, 2009

I Want Cookies!

And I want them now!

After cleaning the condo from hell with the 10 foot mirrored bathrooms and the picky ass woman who expected me to curtsy to her as she passed, I deserve cookies. Only problem is, I gotta get off my tired ass and make them myself...... whaaaaaaa! It just isn't fair.

In the mean time, I had to fight with a pug today to keep my duster. I had to balance on one foot and wipe down a shower to the lilting strains of "Maneater" by Nelly Furtado. I had to look like I knew what I was doing while the new girl watched me clean. I had to clean around people just to get stuff done. Let's talk about that last one....

If you call up a cleaning service, get an estimate, and make an appointment for your house to be cleaned, and pay ove $80 a pop or more to have said cleaning done, why the HELL are you going to be under foot and in the way? How the hell do you expect me to clean your bathroom when you are in it? I don't want to see your ass or any other body parts!!! The guy in the giant condo on Longboat Key decided he was going to take an hour long steam shower today AFTER we got there. AFTER!!!(They pay $225 a cleaning because the place is HUGE!) We don't just show up all willy nilly.... we are scheduled in advance so the people know we are coming and can be prepared. Nope. Not these people. I had to wait and wait to be able to finish the bathrooms. Then there was the lady last week. That was embarrassing. See, I had already done half of the houses bathrooms and needed to do the master bath. The door was shut to the master bedroom, so I knocked and announced myself with the standard "Housekeeping". No answer. I open the door and say again, "Housekeeping". Still no answer, so I head to the bathroom and announce again as I go in the door, "Housekeeping". Nothing. I walk into the bathroom and a lady is in the walk in dressing room topless. I excuse myself quickly and apologize. The woman wasn't mad and even laughed about it, but sheesh..... I don't need to see that.

So, like I said.... don't be under foot if you ask for a cleaning lady to come mop up your mess. This isn't some "Wink, Wink" sort of cleaning service.

Hopefully tomorrow will be less crowded.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

The ABC's of Me!

I stole this from Bluepaintred. I have been relaxing with the family and didn't really think of anything to blog about. Enjoy!

A - Age: 36

B - Bed size: Queen

C - Chore You Hate: Cleaning up the kitchen. I like messing them up creating wonderful foods.

D – Dad’s Name: Charles

E - Essential Start Your Day Item: A large mug of English Breakfast Tea with milk and sugar...... oh and a gluten free scone.

F - Favorite Actor: Right Now: Neil Patrick Harris. All Time: Sean Connery.

G - Gold or Silver: White Gold

H - Height:5'3" & 3/4. I had thought I was 5'4", but recently, at the DMV, a soulless instrument of torture marked me down as 5'3" and would not change it!

I - Instrument (s) you play: Flute, percussion, cello, violin, piano, and vocal.

J - Job Title: Mother, wife, & green cleaning crew.

K - Kid(s)
: .4

L - Like: Sorbetto, scones, tea, and HHH's gravity free fanny!

M - Mom’s Name: JoAnn

N - Nickname: Blondefabulous, Honey,

O - Overnight Hospital Stay Other Than Birth: At two years old, I had a terrible bout of stomach flu that required almost a weeks stay at the local hospital.

P - Pet Peeve: Loud mariachi music late at night, inconsiderate drivers, people who assume I am the clerk at what ever store I am shopping.

Q - Quote that you like:
"It's 107 miles to Chicago, we have a full tank of gas, 1/2 a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses. HIT IT!"

R - Righty or Lefty: Righty all the way baby!

S - Siblings: I have one insane, older, half-sister.

T - Time You Wake Up: 6am

U - Useful tool: lap top, digital camera, scum buster, large skillet.

V - Vegetable that you dislike: None. I love'em all!

W - Ways you run late: If the kids drag ass, or the hubby is running behind...... I don't like to be late.

X - X-rays You’ve Had: Ribs, ankle, back, knee.

Y - Yummy Foods You Make: Anything...... I'm a chef dammit!

Z - Zodiac: Cancer. My Birthday is July Second.

Saturday, March 21, 2009


Heh.... watched "Twilight" tonight. Hell, it was all I could do to keep my eldest daughter from dragging us down to Blockbuster today to go and get it! She practically floated over to the display and squealed with glee. I was rolling my eyes and sighing. I didn't know what to think....

See, I believe that vampire's do not sparkle. Vampires explode in the sunlight. Vampires aren't all emo to the point that I laugh my ass off. Vampires are smooth, suave, and mysterious. Vampires and people don't mix.....

This was definitely a teen girl movie. Oh and please don't yell at me that I have not given it a chance..... I watched it. All of it. Every. Last. Moment.

Um....... I liked "Blade" better. I liked "Dracula" better. I liked "Once Bitten" better.....But I guess that's just me. Vampires are old hat. See, I live with one. HHH has a natural, pronounced set of canine teeth. When he smiles, it looks like he has vampire teeth. Hell, I usually have to ask him to lay off the teeth during....ahem.... nocturnal activities. He has his own, built in Halloween costume. When he wrinkles his nose and forehead, he looks like an extra from the "Angel" series! Yummy right? Well I thought so. So much so that I married this Vampire.

So, I guess I really can't blame Rebecca for having a thing for the vampires in this movie..... like mother, like daughter, right? Just don't ask HHH to sparkle.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Jesus F*%#ing Crispies!!!!!

OMG! The clusterfuck that was my day today!

First, I still got up at 6am because even though I took the day off, and the kids had the day off from school, HHH still had to go to work. I got him up and going and then drove him to Saratoga Place. After I got back from that, I got Morgan and Junior dressed and while Junior and Rebecca were eating breakfast, I took Morgan with me to pick up my first paycheck! w00t!! I got $300 dollars! Not bad for 40 hours of work.... (yes I know other people scoff at that amount, but I am pretty happy about any sort of income!). I hoofed it back home to get the kids ready for the car service to pick us up at 9am for our 10am appointment at CMS. We have this appointment today because we were stood up by the car service last week. And we're waiting...... and waiting..... and waiting! I finally get twitchy at 9:30 and call the car service to confirm that we ARE being picked up. Nope. They aren't coming. The dispatcher that answered the phone says we weren't included on the fax sheet from CMS. What. The. Hell??? I get pissed and call CMS to tell them I was not happy being screwed over with the car service AGAIN, and that we are driving to the office, and not to cancel the appointment if we're late... we are on the way! Usually, if you're 15 minutes late they cancel you out and too bad so sad, you'll just have to reschedule. Um... I don't think so. Not if it is because of some pencil pusher's mistake that we are late in the first place! Time to go.

Here's the problem. I am shitty at finding places. Real shitty. Like get lost in a paper bag kind of shitty. So we all pile into Bessie(the truck) and head out. I decide that 75 would be the best option. It's not as direct, but it is less turns and twists. I get to 75 and BOOM. Stand still. A 5 car, multi crash accident has the place in a parking lot situation. F*%K! I call CMS again and confirm that we are on our way, do not cancel us! About 15 minutes later we get past the crap and start going speed. I see a sign that says the road I need is the next exit. I exit at the next off ramp and start looking for the doctor's office, which should be right at the off ramp, but magically isn't.Oh great. I call CMS again and the woman tries valiantly to direct me to the place. I see none of the landmarks she is describing. Nada. Finally, after 2 more calls to CMS, we ascertain that I am one exit to far away. I go back to 75 and look at the sign again that said for me to get off on the boulevard of hell. Oh it says that it's the road I need.... the DETOUR ROAD !!!!! F%#K!!!!!! (Right about now I started having a breakdown because I was lost, didn't know where to go really, and it is that time of the month. I must have looked like a psycho....)

Back on 75, I get to the REAL road, not the detour road,(f%$king detours!), and get off at the next exit and there is the office, right where I thought it would be if I had only gone one more exit instead of believing a crazy ass sign. Now, imagine if you will, the fact that I was doing all of this sans power steering. In Bessie. Yeah, I have mad upper body strength to do that! Bessie sprung a leak yesterday and I couldn't get the part until after the Dr. appointment. So we get into the office and get started doing all the good stuff we do at the endocrinologists. Some good news was the kids A1c #'s went down. We are shooting for 7% to 7.5%. Junior was 9% and Morgan was 10%. You have to understand, that that is a 1 to 2% drop for both of them from what they were three months ago!! Yay! After talking to the ARNP that sees our cases, we got adjustments and then blood draws and left. I am having Junior tested for Celiac's markers. It is a companion disease to Diabetes, so since his sister and I have it, we wanted him tested too. I believe in better safe than sorry.

It's now lunch time. We head over to Tamiami Trail and hit up a BK before going to Jungle Gardens. Yes, we went to Jungle Gardens to kill some time. It was a little pricey, but the kids were having a blast. They all fed the Flamingos, and this time, I didn't get accosted by one! My boobs were flamingo free! SO we futzed around for 3 hours, watching the birds of prey show, walking along the garden paths, feeding the Koi, and relaxing by the fountains. I even took them to the gift shop to get a little something . Rebecca got a small basket of shells and Morgan and Junior got a Ball in a Cup game. (It even looks like the one from Family Guy!) Finally it was time to go and get HHH from work. I let him drive home from Saratoga, but we stopped by Advance Auto to get the part we needed to fix the truck. Then it was time to go home. Ah... home! I hadn't seen it since 9:30am that morning!!

Of course, that's when I realized it was almost 6pm, and I hadn't even started dinner yet.


Thursday, March 19, 2009

Off To The Endo.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen...... we are off to the endocrinologist's office tomorrow(today). This was SUPPOSED to be done last Thursday while HHH was still out of work, but the car service that comes to get them never showed up! HHH called the CMS coordinator, but it was too late, so he took Morgan and Junior back to school and Morgan got to take the last of her FCAT's.

All of that being said, now I have to take off of work and go with them to the doctor. I hope that the car service will show up. I don't feel like driving. It has been a long week. I am tired. One good thing though.... the cleaning service seems to be doing well, and they are happy with my work, which means I will have work for a long while. It's the season down here. All the summering tourists are here and starting up their cleaning services contracts again. Whoopee! That means 8 to 9 hour days!!!! I'm psyched!

The iPod has really been helping my speed in cleaning. I loaded it with songs that are up beat and have a quick rhythm. I also put a few on there that are rather fitting for my situation.....("Happy Little Working Song" from "Enchanted") I have Elvis, Kiss, Michael Buble', Frank Sinatra, David Lee Roth, Wang Chung, Men at Work, and BTO, just to name a few. yeah, I know.... a very eclectic mix, but what can I say? I am nothing if not different. I must have looked really "different" when I was dancing in the shower while wiping the walls and the client walked in! Ah well, we all dance to a different tune....

I've gotta get some sleep. I still have to get up at 6:00am and drive HHH to work. The kids may be off tomorrow, but he sure isn't, and it feels good to be able to say that!

I need to buy that man a scooter!

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Still iPod-izing.

Crappy photo, yes I know, but I am still iPod-izing. That means instead of blogging, I have been scanning iTunes and downloading music. There is one good thing, I work better with music. I was faster and better at the job today.

HHH started his job today. he is working at a chi-chi apartment complex on the south side of Sarasota. A place there goes for $1300 a month+. He likes it so far..... but he only has day 1 under his belt. We'll see.....

OK, gotta go to bed. Real post to come next time. I swear.

You can trust me.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Monday, March 16, 2009


Holy crap, I am a tired woman today. We did 7 houses today. There was a new woman cleaning with us today. Hopefully, Boss Lady will concentrate on her and leave me to my cleaning. HHH made a great grilled Chicken Alfredo tonight. It was AWESOME!

** My daughter is trying to convince me to wait in line at Wal-Mart at midnight and get the "Twilight" movie. Uh..... I don't think so.

** Oscar is being chewy. He seems to like appliance cords that are plugged in. BUUUUZZZZZZZ!

** Sorry I haven't been answering the blog comments lately. When I get home I am usually sweaty and tired, so I go shower. The shower relaxes me, and I plop on the couch in front of the 54" TV and veg until HHH feeds me. Then it's time for the usual shows and after that I have just enough energy to bang out HHH... er..... I mean, my blog post, and then I go to bed. Sorry.

** The schools are putting it to us again. Now my daughter has a Choir competition in May. It costs $115 for her to go because it is at Busch Gardens. I have to have $50 for a deposit by March 19th. I got the paper detailing this today. (3/16/09) I have 3 days to come up with this $50 or she may not be able to go. WTF?? When I was in school, we sold a box of candy and boom.... we were there. It never cost us $115!!!! OMG!

** I am in need of a Bux fix like there is no tomorrow!

** I am lazy so this is why I have been doing so many bullet posts lately. Well, not lazy.... just tired from working all the time. Today was an 8 to 4:30 day. I get paid on Friday! Come to me, sweet compensation. I do have to say it has gotten less painful to do this stuff. I guess I am getting used to it. Go me!!!

** I'm gonna stretch out on the couch and watch BBT and HIMYM tonight! Veg city baby. I don't care if he's gay, Neil Patrick Harris is sexy!


Sunday, March 15, 2009


The day dawned bright and sunny. The breezes were light, and the air was pollinated. HHH, however, woke up and barfed. Yummy. The beach was once again, out of the question. We had planned on getting up early to go out there and stake out a spot, but alas, it was not to be.
Rather than go to the beach, after HHH was feeling better for his episode of vomiting, (Lucky bastard threw up ONCE and felt great.... jerk!) we went to Lowe's and Sam's Club. We were looking for something to cover the kitchen floor with. Right now, the floor is covered in old linoleum and it gets dirty FAST. I mean really fast. I scrubbed and washed it this morning, and I bet that the darn thing will be nasty again by Tuesday. We were looking for peel and stick kind of tiles. I've seen them..... they work well if you don't want to invest a whole lot of work and $$$. I don't know what it is, but where ever we live, I always want it to be a little better. We saw lots of stuff like picket fencing, planters, and gazebos. Once I start rolling in the paychecks, it'll be spring improvement time. I love to do the spring fling improvement thing.... ha ha, that rhymed! That begs the question.......

What projects do you have planned for spring??

Saturday, March 14, 2009


Today did not go quite like I planned. I'll elaborate....

#1- Wanted to sleep in since it was Saturday and my day off. Nope. Didn't happen. Some asshole who had mariachi music playing at impossible decibels pulled up in the neighbor's drive way and started honking at 5:30am. 5:30AM PEOPLE!!!!! What the hell is that shit? I tried to get back to sleep, but ended up just dozing fitfully. Assholes.

#2-Tried to go to the beach today. Nope. Didn't happen. We drove out there, but it was impossibly packed. We waited too late, and too late came at 10:30am. The lot accommodates 800 cars, and there STILL wasn't any room. It sucked major fanny.

#3- Got shit on in the back yard. Yep. That did happen. I was out back hanging out laundry, playing with the kids & talking to HHH as he grilled hot dogs for lunch and suddenly I feel this "plop" on my forehead and shirt. I look down and see bird crap on me. I feel my fore head and wipe bird crap off my face. Oh my GAWD!!!!! WTF is happening today!

#4- Got smacked between the eyes with plastic plates. Yep. That happened. I was trying to open the cupboard to get some plates for the kids to have their lunch on and as I did, SMACK! Right between the eyes. It was as if I was in some sort of comedy of happenstance. I kept waiting for either Seth Rogan or Jim Carrey to pop out of the door and start some sort of comedic scene. It was starting to feel surreal1

#5- Pinched my finger bad with the hot dog tongs. Yep. That happened. It hurt like a bitch. I think I said what I thought sounded like, "F*%k you you f*^king motherf%*ker and all of your f*%king family.", but actually came out of my mouth sounding like, "Oh fudge ripple tartar sauce with whipped cream on top!". I threw the tongs in the dish pan and snatched up the hot dogs by hand and slammed them on the plate.

(It is good to note here that the kids and HHH were REALLY starting to look at me funny. I can only imagine what I looked like as all this was happening.)

#6- Oscar can't poop with out making 5 and 1/2 turns. Yep. He does that. Looks like a little fuzzy whirling dervish too. I know that has nothing to do with me, but I just thought I'd throw that one in there for shits and giggles. Get it? Shits and giggles??? Oh come ON! I know you people are out there.... I can hear you breathing.

Oh....... I give up on this day. I'll start fresh tomorrow.

Friday, March 13, 2009


I see it everywhere now. Having been without so recently, I wonder why we, as a nation do not just pull together and help each other out. The multi million dollar mansions I am now cleaning reek of well to do and old money. Today I said on Twitter, "Yay for lazy rich people! They give me a job!!", and I meant it, yet I clean up the receipts for hundreds of dollars in wasteful spending, wasted food, money, and time. I have cleaned residences with signed John Lennon lyric sheets hanging on the walls. I have cleaned residences with signed sports memorabilia. (Buccaneer's stuff mostly), I have dusted Objects D'Art and I think about how much any of that might have cost. Then I saw the report about how Florida is one of the worst states for homeless children and families. We have thousands of kids who have no real home, no place that is stable. Hell, tomorrow there will be even more thanks to the foreclosure mess and the plummeting economy.... it's crazy! I dust these expensive and priceless items and think..."Selling just one of these things and donating the money to a program or charity that helps hurting and homeless people and families would do a whole lot of good." I don't know why I think these things... I am just grateful to have a job right now anyway.... But I remember those that helped me when me and mine were down and out.... and I want so bad to shake the rich and say..."Oh my God! help your fellow man!"

I sound like a communist, don't I?

Thursday, March 12, 2009

The Pestilence Had Gotten Me!!

Oh my goodness! I was not a well woman the other day. I had caught my bosses stomach flu and it was not pretty. I never threw up, but I had awful dry heaves that made me wish for death. (Not really, but close.) Between that and the trots to the restroom, I wasn't feeling very work worthy, I'll tell you what. Lucky for me HHH took good care of me..... making me soup, fluffing my pillows, writing my blog.

As for work, I went back this morning, but I only did 2 houses. I guess my boss thought I still looked like death warmed over. My boss is a strange woman. She is Hungarian, like two of the other girls. She eats organic, she is detail oriented, and I keep getting confusing signals. One day last week, I was driving in the car with her and she said quite plainly, "No personal phone call on company time unless it is a strict emergency." OK. I got the point. Then she proceeded to ask me if the women I had worked with the other day had been on their phones while in the car and homes. I felt very uncomfortable being asked to tattle on my coworkers on what was the second day on the job. I felt bad, but I didn't want to lie to my boss. I said I saw them chatting in the car, but I was busy in the houses so I was unsure if that had occurred. This got my boss all riled up! She immediately calls her husband,( who is part owner of the company with her.), and says she is going to fire the main offender and hire other people to work. Alrighty then. So that was on Friday. On Monday the phone offender is still working. Um... did I miss something? I thought Boss Lady was going to fire her? Then today, as I am riding with Boss Lady, she asks me again if I saw the offender using her phone on the job. I had to again answer yes, but that it was only in passing I saw that happening. Then she goes on to say that phone calls in the car is OK now, just so long as we're not lost. That is a total 180 from what she had adamantly told me on Friday. After that it was more interrogating about my co workers calling habits. It is starting to make me uncomfortable. I feel like I am ratting out the girls who have been with the company longer. I also do not want to make my new boss think I am going to side with the employees against her. I'm just a little unsure as to how to proceed here.

What do you think? Informal poll here please......

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

It's what happens when you're ill....

This is what happens when you're ill..YOU GET BLOGJACKED!! Hello bloggers, readers, and everyone else. Blondefabulous is under the weather due to a creepin' crud she caught from her new boss, so I've blogjacked her. And I know how you all just love reading what I have to say. Interesting bit of information I have been looking into the massage therapy school and it seems I can use my G.I Bill to pay for it. WOOHOO!! I've been driving all over gods creation looking for a new job they are just so few and far between. About a month ago I put in a resume' at an apartment complex and never heard anything back. Until now...They called me Monday and I interviewed Tuesday morning at 11:30 by 12:00 the boss was sending me to Quest diagnostics for a drug test. Now I am excited to be going to work, I can't get to excited because the position is only temporary. It seems the Maintenance Supervisor there had to take a few months off due to total knee replacement surgery. They were going to use their maintenance tech until he came back but the tech was in a very serious car accident and now will be out for several months. In my interview the boss lady did tell me that if for some reason the supervisor is unable to return that the full time position would be offered to me. If he does return then she would look in the company for me a job, only down side is it may be in Tampa or Clearwater. They do have properties in Bradenton so I may get lucky there. Now I just sit and wait until the background check to come back. Hopefully none of my indiscretions as a youth won't comeback to bite me in the ass. AGAIN!! Oh and the position is 50 cents more an hour than at my previous job. So keep your fingers, toes, eyes and whatever else you can think of to cross for me! I am sorry to inform everyone that I do not have any wild sex stories for you. My poor wife has been so drained from working she just doesn't have the energy to hang from the ceiling fan. LOL!! She has been doing a bang up job at work and I've been taking care of things here. Picking up the kids, cleaning house, doing laundry and having dinner ready when she comes home.( OK all together now..AAAWW)!
I think that's good for now, not to worry Blonde will return tomorrow evening. Have a great night day and weekend.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

The Inescapable Fact.

I can no longer deny the inescapable truth. I am getting old. By old I mean after 4 days of working for the green cleaning company, I have found aches and pains in places I didn't even know I had! I blame the 10 foot mirrors in some of these fancy schmancy places I've been cleaning. Like I said yesterday, who REALLY needs a bathroom that is walled entirely in mirrors? I don't ever want to see that many angles of my big ol' butt!

Back to the being old, Yeah, I feel about 60. Maybe 70. I know that after a while I'll get used to it, but damn it man! This is starting to wear thin. Today I worked with one of the girls I worked with my first day, and a new person who had apparently been on medical leave. We whipped out 4 houses in 7 hours. Not bad, but you gotta understand, one of those houses was my boss's house! Yep. The ultimate in tests for a new employee. I hope I did good. She didn't call us on the company phone and complain, but we'll see tomorrow when I go in and talk to her. As it is, I'm not feeling really well. I had gluten free lasagna, courtesy of HHH, but I am all bloaty and I feel sick to my stomach. I hope I haven't caught my bosses stomach flu. She had it the first day I went to work, and then I heard her whole family caught it from her. Since we cleaned her house today, I am hoping no errant germs have infected me.(I purelled extensively after we were done.)

I am now going to set up in my big comfy bed, surf the web and wait for "Reaper" to come on. Then I am going to bed.

Oh, and I am going to have a bowl of banana pudding that HHH made, Yum.

Monday, March 9, 2009

Why Do You Need....

-FIVE bathrooms????? Who needs five different places to crap in?

-Floor to ceiling mirrors? In the bathroom? Where you can see multi-dimensional views of you fat ass in harsh bathroom fluorescence?? Oh hell no! They are a bitch to clean, a bitch to wipe down, and I just don't see the practical use of it.

-A whole floor of a condo building all to yourself? If you have that much money, there are charitable organizations that could use the help right now. This was an older couple with a 4 bedroom residence with a private elevator in the front and the rear. We had to drive past 3 guard shacks, and go through 3 more security check points, AND get escorted to the elevator and in the elevator to the residence.

-A 54 inch TV? Oh please...... must you ask that question? Of course you need a 54" TV. We got one through Freecycle today and it is awesome. I am going through all our crap on Friday night and seeing what we have to offer up. It may not be a TV or a stereo or something cool like that, but I know we have stuff to put out there.

-A Toaster? And by Toaster, I mean one of those little Scion's that look like tiny toasters on wheels. Well, you need one so I can zip around in it looking cute! I got to drive the toaster to and from Siesta Key today. It was a touchy little thing, but it got great gas mileage. I must say, it's nice being trusted with one of the company cars on what was only my third day working for the company! I must be doing something right!!!

Sunday, March 8, 2009


Well, we have been here in the new house for a month now, and so far things have been going well. Aside from the mariachi being played loudly on the weekend, and the Jerry Springer-esque couple arguing with the guy's baby mama to the rear of our back yard, it's been nice. We put up a clothesline to save money on the electric bill, we have been letting the kids play in the back yard without worrying about them disturbing anyone, and we have discovered the beauty of that which is Freecycle Sarasota.

Freecycle Sarasota is a group where if you have anything you're not using, you post it on the freecycle message board and wait for someone to contact you about getting it. It also works when you need something and you can cruise the message board and see if anyone has the item you're looking for. The rules are simple. No resellers, don't no show if you make an appointment to pick up something, and post something every once in a while, don't just take. Lately, I have been looking for things for Juniors room. He sleeps on a high end air mattress that sits on a futon frame, but I'd really like to move him up to a regular bed. Right now, thanks to the freecyclers, my son has 2 bookcases and a nightstand. Most of the stuff on the boards seems cool. Nothing weird, and people are even helping re home pets.

We don't have much to offer on freecycle yet. I am going to go through the house next weekend and see what we have to offer up. Most likely old toys the kids have outgrown, clothes we don't wear anymore, and things we don't use anymore. That's the beauty of this... people will come and take things I no longer want and have no room to store in this 1 closet house! Yippee!

It's free! Free as a flea in a tree.


Happy Birthday to my tiny princess!
Much too cute for words, yet oh so grown up for only being 10 years old today.
So smart, so athletic, I remember when you weren't even two. The tubes and IV's that were coming out from everywhere, the doctors telling me you had almost died, you amazing comeback from the brink, like the wrestlers on WWE that you love to watch. No one and nothing can hold you down!
Now here we are.... 10 years have gone by. It seems like a blink of an eye, yet I am sure the next 10 will go by just as fast. What does the future hold? Will you be a prima ballerina? A wrestling diva? A chef? You probably could do all three!
Now you're a ballerina, a friend to many, & a survivor. You are the apple of my eye, my precious princess whom I love so very much. Happy Birthday sweetie. Momma and Daddy love you and can't wait for what come next!

Friday, March 6, 2009

Things I Have Learned Cleaning Up Other People's Crap!

Since we are taking the kids to Universal tomorrow to celebrate their respective birthdays, I decided to wuss out and throw some bullets out about what I have learned so far working for the green cleaning company.

*I am NEVER going to have a shower enclosed in glass... EVER! OMFG those things are nightmares to clean. The suck big donkey wiener! Water spot do not want to come off the glass and you have to scrub hard enough to get it clean, but not too hard so as to break the glass. Like I said..... suck ass city!

*People with enough money to afford a cleaning service are slobs! Yep... big slobs. Can't pick anything up for themselves.

*Most human beings cannot physically hit the hole in the toilet. Nope. I have seen more splash over in two days than the whole relationship I've been in with HHH, and that includes potty training our son. WTF is all that speckled pee all about?

*Hungarians can't drive very well. OK,.... that is a pretty broad statement, but after yesterday with the Hungarian Hurricane and today with my boss, who is also Hungarian, I am convinced that they just don't drive well ....at....all. I thought I was going to die at least 4 times yesterday. My boss was always driving 90 miles and hour and zipping the toaster in and out of traffic. I just put on my sunglasses and tried to think pleasant thoughts while taking deep breaths.

*Decorative rugs suck just as much ass as glass showers. Why do you have a rug that hurts your feet? Or one that resembles a skinned komondor dog? It's a bitch to vacuum, a pain to roll up and shake out, and all around a bitch in general. Tell those pricey home decorators to get a life and go buy a rug that feels nice AND compliments your decor. Nuff said.

OK, that's it..... for now. I am sure I'll have lots of blog fodder from this job. Stay tuned!

Thursday, March 5, 2009

It's Not Easy, Being Green....

I say that because I spent the entire day being green. I am now gainfully employed, and by a green cleaning company no less! If you were reading my tweets yesterday, you know that I got a job, kinda on the fly. I started today at 8am and didn't really stop. I was paired up with two of the regular ladies and as I got into the car I found out just how crazy the day was going to be. One of the ladies was Hungarian. The other lady was Spanish. Neither one of them spoke English with any real grasp of the language. The part of that situation that became so frickin' hilarious was.... the Hungarian woman who spoke little English and couldn't read it well either.....WAS DRIVING THE COMPANY CAR WITH US IN IT!!!!!!!! OMG I was wondering if we were ever going to get to any of the houses that were scheduled to be cleaned. First though, we had to go and gas up. Hungarian Hannah didn't know how to do that either. I had to show her how to use the fast pay thingy on the key ring. Once that was finally done, we were on our way.

We cleaned fancy houses. We cleaned Million dollar houses. We cleaned beach houses. Then we got here.....
(see photo)

The view from this condo was amazing. It made me want to buy lotto tickets just for the possibility of winning and being able to live in a place like that!

So after we were all said and done.... we had cleaned 5 places with a stop at a house from another day that the owner needed re cleaned because they didn't like the job the first time(I had nothing to do with that one.) In between jobs, I was treated to the Hungarian Hurricane, mostly getting lost, driving like a bat out of hell. She and the Spanish woman had maps to each house.... they just couldn't read them! At one point in time they asked me for advice, and I read the map correctly, AND gave them proper directions, but they didn't listen. The last time we got lost it took a good 20 minutes for them to find where we needed to be. I just gave up and Twittered from the back seat.(Ooooo, that sounded dirty!)

All in all, it was a good day. Hard work makes for a happy Blonde. I must have been doing an OK job because I was asked to come back tomorrow at 8am sharp! Perhaps tomorrow I'll get to do something besides bathrooms and floors!

It's definitely NOT easy being green..... but I'll give it a shot!

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Birthday Boy.

Today is Junior's 7th birthday. My baby boy is growing up, much faster than I had hoped. He's interested in girls, he gets A+'s on his spelling tests, he can ride a bicycle without training wheels...... where did the time go?
He's Daddy's little helper, Mommy's little snuggle bunny, and the apple of our eyes. When did he get so big?
He is smart as a whip. He loves roller coasters just like his father. He has tried out cheffing with me and done pretty good at it. He typically bothers the crud out of his sisters, but let someone try to hurt or be mean to either of them and he's right there telling those persons about themselves..... When did he become so responsible?
His personality borders on silly at times.... giggling at a joke or sing a song he's just made up in his head. He loves to take photos for Mommy. His happiness shines through, even though his life is weighed down with a chronic disease. He still persists in the face of adversity, no matter what. When did he become so grown up?
So here's to you William Jr..... Happy birthday to our special little guy! Many, many more to you sweetie. Momma and Daddy love you so very very much!!!!

Monday, March 2, 2009

How To Make A Sandwich... For Bluepaintred!

While I lived in Memphis, I worked at a little place called Miss Cordelia's. It was a nice place. It was located on Mud Island, which sounds yucky, but actually it was an island in the Mississippi that had million dollar homes, condos, and apartments.... VERY chic-chic. For lunch, the restaurant side of the place made sandwiches. My contribution was the Triple Decker Diet Wrecker... but I digress. One of my favorites was invented by the woman I studied cooking under. The Tuscan Sun. Above you will see the ingredients.

The Tomatoes and mushrooms were marinated and oven roasted for 2 hours. I bathed them in olive oil, balsamic vinegar, rosemary, thyme, and garlic. OMG I was dying smelling these cooking. The chicken is marinated in my secret marinade and then grilled. Yummy!!!
One of the things that really makes this sandwich pop is the pesto mayo. I L-O-V-E pesto mayo. It tastes good on anything. I like it a little stronger, but for the family I made it a little weak.
Now, when all the components of said sandwich are complete, assemble it like this...
1) Use a roll, like Kaiser or chibatta.
2) Spread pesto may on both sides.
3) Stack Provolone, chicken, mushroom slices, 2 tomatoes, & provolone on roll.
4) Brush top and bottom of sandwich with olive oil and squish it in a panini machine.
5) Cut in half and enjoy!
My kids love it! Morgan even had hers on the gluten free bread we have. It toasted up nicely. The cheese is gooey, the chicken is tender, and the herbed goodness is very satisfying.
So there is my contribution to your lunch time. Try it some time.... I bet you'll like it! One word of advice, roast the tomatoes and mushrooms the day before. If they sit over night in a sealed container in the oil you roasted them in, the flavors intensify and it tastes even better.

Oh man! Now I'm hungry!

Counting Down.

We are counting down here in the Wetherington Household. Counting down to the 4th and the 8th. That is when Junior turns 7 and Morgan turns 10, respectively. I often get accused of having twins. It happened the other day. Both Morgan and Junior are the same height and weight. They look almost exactly alike.... the same laughing eyes, same mischief making sense of humor, same disease(diabetes)....... it's hard some days to remember that they are actually 3 years and 4 days apart in age!

We are still working on getting jobs... any jobs right now, and HHH has gone off to do a try out(?) with an appliance repair company today. I am hoping he gets signed on after the end of the day. It makes anywhere between $30 to $60 an hour, but I won't hold my breath. I did that for the other job and then they did an "enhanced" background check and that fell through. Sigh..... The only problem with neither of us having any $$$ right now is.... I can't buy my birthday boy and girl a gift. They will understand and accept a cake and a nice family dinner, but I wonder if we are letting them down. Are they sad that mom and dad are kind of sucking at the parenting thing? I know when I broke the news to Rebecca back in January about HHH being fired, she began to cry at the thought of having to move again, possibly away from the friends and teachers she had grown fond of. She was really upset about possibly having to change schools and leave the dance and gifted programs. Having no $$$ means I won't be able to go to the first chorus concert. The school is charging $3 admission for it. I don't remember my school EVER charging to get in to any of our band concerts. I was floored. Maybe someone will take photos that I can get copies of. Still..... is she disappointed in me for not being able to go?

When it comes to the birthday dinners, I am letting the kids pick what they want. Morgan has chosen BBQ ribs w/all the fixin's. Junior hasn't decided yet. What has been bothering me was yesterday, I asked the kids what flavor of cake they wanted for their birthday, and what kind of decorations did they want. You will remember that I make beautiful cakes..... Ace of Cake style cakes. What do my darling sweeties ask me to make for them? Frickin' Funfetti!!! What the hell is that shit? I have made wedding cakes, birthday cakes, multi tiered cakes, homemade buttercream icing cakes....... how could they possibly ask me to do a Pillsbury box o crap???? I was a little offended, but like I said... I unable to do much else for them right now. Funfetti it is.

Yesterday it was brought to my attention by an anonymous commenter that I should be grateful for being able to spend my children's birthdays with them, not lamenting that I cannot give them a lavish party, and that there is a family right now who would give anything for a healthy mother to be with them. SHAME ON YOU! You didn't leave your name... and that may have been a good thing. No one liked your comment as it pertained to Lisa. After having heard the news last Saturday, I spent the weekend loving my kids, spending time with them, and cherishing my family even more than the day before. I AM grateful for my family. Who's to say that any of us won't get hit by a bus tomorrow and no longer be here to tell our loved ones just how much they mean to us? I don't want to give my kids a "Super Sweet"-esque birthday party... I was just trying to take them to the local skating rink for an afternoon of family fun with their friends. Even now, the family dinner will still make them some of the happiest kids around. They have had to live without, twice now..... so don't think for a minute they aren't thankful for every little thing they receive.... whether it's a big old party, or just a home made card and a cake from mom. Next time... leave Lisa out of it OK? That was just way uncool. Yes I am a little complainy and, oh yes... a little whiney right now.... but it's how I work through my crap. I thought that was what people did on their blogs? Like I said when it occurred, this is the SECOND time this has happens to our family... not just me.... my FAMILY! So forgive me being a bit unhappy with my kids having to do without the small comfort of a party with their friends on their birthday. It just sucks ass.

So that's it for now. I hope anonymous will still come back..... I don't mind differing views. Bring 'em on. Hopefully by the middle of the week th EX will have made a payment on the back support he owes and we'll be able to get a gift for the kids to go with their dinner and cake. Photos of the cake will ensue... even if it is a Box cake. {shudder]

Sunday, March 1, 2009

What Can You Do....

.... When you have two birthdays coming up in the same week?

....When both of those birthdays are for your children?

....When both of those birthdays might get pushed back because we don't have any money to throw a party?

....When no one seems to want you for a job? Any job. Even a dish washing job!

....When your friends are too busy since you have moved to actually spend some time with you?

....When you just wish the world would stop being a jerk to people who should still be here but are not?

....When you just want to sleep but can't because you're too worried about your problems?

....When what you are looking forward to most is cooking a roast?

....When you want to treat your kids to some fun but you're broke?