Monday, February 2, 2009

So Long, Farewell, ..... and you know the rest.

I want to say how sorry I am to my kids and my husband. Sorry I couldn't help keep us together. Sorry I couldn't help keep us stable. Sorry I couldn't make us a happy family with a stable home.
Perhaps it was too much to wish for a happy home, a nice life, and a steady income. perhaps it was my fault. I did promise what ever Deity that was listening that I wouldn't speak to anyone and I would keep our family to ourselves. Unfortunately, I made friends and my kids made friends. We apparently made enemies too.
I found out today that one of the women who works in the office for this complex actually got drunk at the complex Superbowl party and danced around singing, "Hooray! HHH has to move! Good riddance!" Yes, it seems we were well liked.
So, I am giving up. Please save all the peppy speeches about "you can do it", and "If you made it before you can make it again." and all. I have heard everything. The facts as they are now basically are...

1. We have to be out by Feb. 4th. No if's, and's, or but's or we will be REMOVED from the property by the police.

2. We have no money. HHH's brother was supposed to come and give us the last $200 he owed to us. He has not. See, he already got his tax refund. He spent it on Motorcycles, concert tickets, and other such fluff, but when it came time to help out his brother who helped him... we got the old Fuck You. Thanks, and if you are ever in Wauchula Florida and meet a guy named MICHAEL WETHERINGTON...... kick him in the nuts for me as hard as you can. Then kill him. I'm not kidding.

3. We have no where to stay. We were going to bunk up with Ms. M until someone told the office and that was when HHH learned that we had to be completely off the property. Let's all make sure the family with 3 kids, 2 of them special needs has to sleep in their truck. We appreciate it.....ALOT!

4. Until our taxes come in we have no way of paying for anything. HHH gets his final check Wednesday and that will be it. We are screwed. I can't even afford to rent out a ghetto crack house!

So you see, kind reader.... things are fucked up beyond all recognition. I am grateful for all your support, but good wishes will not give my kids a roof to sleep under. Kind words will not give me a fridge to keep their insulin in. I need either a room to bunk down in, or a 1000 bucks until my taxes come in. Unless either one of those things happens (which they WON'T!!!) we are sleeping in the truck. in a dark parking lot. ALONE. And I just can't do that again. I can't. I am done.

I am done.

I'm sorry to all of you who thought I was stronger. I'm not. I have been beaten down for the last 13 years now. Over and over.... again and again. Seeing happiness only to have it snatched away in a cruel jest. I love you all. But I am done.


I'll miss you.
Muah.

Love, Blondefabulous.....AKA-Nicole.

I just can't be fabulous any more.

19 comments:

HoosierGirl5 said...

Please call me or e-mail me if you want to come stay with me in Indiana. I'm serious.

J.

Carmichael205@yahoo.com

Tug said...

YES, you CAN do this. What you CANNOT do, is leave your kids & hubby behind feeling guilty as hell. If you don't want to live for yourself...do it for your kids. HoosierGirl5, if you've got her #, please call her!

GingerSnaps said...

Nicole,
STOP IT. Right now. You can't let assholes in this world get you to the point of giving up and jumping off a bridge!

Are you REALLY going to let other people and circumstances get the best of the fabulous YOU???

NO. You are not.

You are better than this.

Please go to the nearest Emergency Room IMMEDIATELY and tell them that you are at the point of no return and you need help.

Please. We care about you. I am 800 miles away from you and I can't come and pick you up...otherwise, I would.

Please do this for yourself. Come on and get yourself together. YOU are worth it because goddammit, we say you are.

Love you,
Ginger

Karl said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Karl said...

So sorry to hear this. You're all in my prayers. Please try some churches. They can help. I've been there.

Rachel said...

You cannot do this.
You cannot do this.

I can't say more than that. I hope you are not serious, you already have better options, just from commenters.

Don't do this to your children or your loved ones.

Suicide is not the answer.

God help you, I am praying for you right now. I hope that you haven't done what you're obviously threatening to do.

Please call someone.

Bluepaintred said...

Please.
What do you think will happen to your kids if you jump
Huh has to work so who will watch over them? Your nasty mean family?
You don't have to be fabulous, it isn't your fabulousness any one cares about, it's YOU.
Go to the hospital they have the power to not only help you with your dangerous though AND they cH help you, huh and the kids with temp housing
Don't give up

Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] said...

Please stay strong for your kids.

Geeky Tai-Tai said...

I'm very sorry to hear about this. You will get through this. All of you are in my prayers. Please take the advice of the previous commenters. There are good people in the world, and they want to help you.

Nicole said...

Okay so it's not a thousand dollars, but you get your refund what? Friday? Okay so I have probably just enough spare $$ to get you a room at a no tell motel for a week! So it's in a crappy neighbor hood - it beats the truck. Call ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
941-504-5355 so what if the rest of Fabulousdom calls too - I'm an hour away and might be able to kind of help. It's not much but it's what I can do for you guys. I feel as though it's inadequate, but please call me anyways!

OMM said...

Ok, I've got an idea. If Nicole can set up a paypal account, and link it to her checking / savings account, we can all contribute $5, $10, whatever. While we probably can't all contribute $1k, if we all give nickels and dimes, it will get them through this.

Would anyone else be interested in making this happen?

Paypal is fast and secure. However, it'll take a day or so to get them set up.

Nicole: Set this up immediately. I'll contribute, and so will everyone else.

GingerSnaps said...

Sure, I can't donate much, because I'm unemployed right now, but I'll throw in a little. A bunch of "littles" will add up! :)

Avitable said...

Nicole, you may have legal rights to stay there a little longer than you think. Landlords have very strict laws about kicking someone out.

Call a lawyer. Use http://www.martindale.com and look for a local lawyer who does real estate or landlord/tenant law and call them.

Miss Britt said...

I have absolutely nothing constructive to say here.

I just want you to know that you matter to someone.

Geeky Tai-Tai said...

I would definitely contribute.

Hilly said...

I'd donate a little bit too.

Besides that, my heart is with you.

Nicole said...

i'M IN FOR THE DONATION!! oops sorry about the caps! I've been trying to get a hold of Nicole to give her $$ anyways!

phinz said...

Set up the paypal. I'm in. And praying.

HoosierGirl5 said...

I will gladly contribute. Just tell me when and where. I'll keep checking back.

J.