Wednesday, January 28, 2009


Just so you know.... it's happening all over again. HHH has been fired from his job and we have to move in 7 days. I don't know what to say. I don't know what to feel. I am pretty much numb right now. We filed our taxes this week.... but that will take too long. Apparently, HHH broke a part that cost over $1000 to fix. He didn't do it on purpose, it just broke in the course of fixing something else. It happens. In this economy though, I guess the complex couldn't afford it happening. He put in a call to the owner and is hoping to hear something back about it, but I doubt that will happen.

I think I'm just going to hop the bridge next time I'm there and go swim with the dolphins. I give up. You can only be a loser for so long before it makes you do sad, terrible things. Lady Karma must be really mad at us to have the same thing happen exactly one year later. Oh well..... I'll sleep with the fishes... they'll have me.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Bullets Over Blondefabulous!

Eh, what can I say? I have been fighting the good fight for Morgan today and I am just tired. So what you get is a bullet post about what was going on lately....

-Schools need to seriously look into Celiac's Disease! I'm just saying. Yanno, because I went to have a meeting with Morgan's math teacher about her grade in mathematics this grading period. She went from a C to a D and I was wanting to get to the root of what the problem was. Tuttle ES includes timed tests in it's curriculum. Basically, the kids get 100 math problems on a sheet and are given 3 minutes to complete as many as they can in addition and subtraction, and 5 minutes for multiplication and division. Morgan has been failing them all miserably! She understands the concepts of the mathematical process to get the answers, but she just is not that fast at it. I looked at her grades for all her other tests and quizzes and if you take out the timed tests,.... she has a solid B+! I tried to explain to her teacher that it isn't because she can't do it, it is the Celiac's affecting her thought processes! I even brought information printed from web sites that the doctor's had suggested to me! The school is still going to make a huge deal out of it by making me get yet more forms filled out by the doctors. They already have her diagnosis in her file in the nurses office! Sheesh!
-I need a! The end of the week is approaching and I should be hearing if they have "room" for me on the bus to Junior's field trip. This is just such bull shit! If they would just get one of the nurses to go, I wouldn't be having this problem in the first place! Because schools are so under funded, and so short changed, I know they can't afford it, but to single out my son and say he won't be able to go because his mom can't ride with him and then to suggest that we take the added expense of a cab on our own is just ridiculous! Let's just single out the diabetic kid even more than he has to be! Bad enough he has to have mom go in the first place, now he won't even get to ride the bus with the other kids? Someone get me a lawyer and fast! I got some free publicity for them, but GOOD!
-I am in clothes I haven't worn in years! Oh yeah baby! The gluten free diet, plus the addition of the bridge is working out really well! The weight isn't dropping off as fast as I would like it to, but I imagine this is safer than those diet pills that offer 40 lbs gone in 3 weeks! Yeah, I like my organs healthy and not fucked up thank you very much! I have been wearing jeans and pants I haven't worn since we first moved down here in 2007! I can't believe how far I let myself go when I was depressed about our $$$ problems and job problems and then our housing problems. At least I am working it all off, and as a bonus, every once in a while when we are at the top of the Ringling span, we'll see a pod of dolphins swimming happily along. Can't beat that for entertainment!
-HHH can be sadistic! Yep. He was going to send Rebecca out to take the trash to the dumpster, but wasn't going to tell her about the 3 raccoons that were rummaging through it at the time! I guess he wanted to see if the daughter was as cool, calm, and collected as the mother when it came to wild animal encounters. My money would have been on not. I bet she would have run screaming from the dumpster just as fast as she could!
-I am tired. I had on my "Hot Blogging Mama" clothes and shoes all day today and my feet are sore. I forgot how long it took to get used to walking in heels. I haven't really done it in a while. So now, intrepid readers, I am going to go put on my comfy jammies and go lay down to watch TV with HHH!

Have a great evening!

Monday, January 26, 2009

Public Internet Access Etiquette, The Blondefabulous Way!

Lately, I have been going down to the pool to do my blog posting. It is pretty nice down there. By 6pm everyone has gone home, there's lots of peace and quiet, and I can get a blog post out in a little under an hour. Unfortunately, there are a few individuals that try to ruin a good hot spot for the rest of us, and for those lost souls, I have written out....

The Blondefabulous Guide To Using The Internet Hot Spot.

Don't hog up the entire Computer room!
I understand that you are an up and coming young person and you have a really great SOCOM or WoW or COD game going on with your buddies in 5 other countries, but for God's sake, rope your shit in a little so someone else can use the community computer room too! I took my kids down to the Community computer room today because Rebecca had to research a project, the other two had homework, and I needed to help all of them at once. We get to the room and there are 2 computer stations for residents to use, then there is a table for those of us with lap tops. On said table is some guy who looked like he was about 21 playing one of the above games. He had all his shit spread out all over the table so it was almost impossible for me to set up on it with my lap top to help the two younger kids while Rebecca used the desk top at the work station. Dude wasn't even apologetic about it either. Fucking douche!

#2- Realize that if I am blogging away, I am in a zone.
I was at the pool last night and I was doing my thing, writing away without a care in the world. I finished and got up to leave and as I did I saw there was someone I knew sitting at one of the tables. It took a moment to register, but once it did I said hi and went on back home. I thought all was well till I found out today that he went to my friend and said, "Well Blonde must be pissed off and hate me because she didn't say two words to me at the pool." Hey, cunty motherfucker..... If I was busy, I was busy! Did it ever occur to you to say hi to me first? Was that something that didn't blip on your radar? Obviously not. Oh and I did say two words to you. I said "Hi ___." as I walked past you.

#3- No one wants to see your giblets!!!
Oh my GAWD! No one here wants to see you play with yourself in public! If you are that hard up to show off your nonexistent goods to the Internet, you need some serious help. I'm not talking what people do in there houses, mind you, I am talking out in public like at Bux, a library, or say... HERE AT THE POOL! Case in point, right now there is some dude sitting on a lounge chair that I normally sit on, (but now will never ever do so again), rubbing his crotch and clicking away on his lap top! Can we say Eeeewwwww! I knew you could! Dude! Take that shit home and do it there. That's just nasty.

#4- Always bring raccoon repellent.
I added this one on after what happened the other night. See, I was sitting in my former lounge chair reading blogs, writing my own blog, and just cruising the Internet when I got the distinct feeling I was not alone. I looked out over the pool, but it was deserted. There was no one around. I thought I was just being a dork so I went back to blogging and then I heard a noise. I thought, well maybe someone is in the fitness center. I turn my head to the right to look and see a huge ass raccoon on his hind legs,........ READING over my shoulder!!! OMFG!!!!!! I was almost close to having a conniption fit! I didn't though. I was very still, turned my head back around and went on with what I was doing. (You may remember that I Twittered about it after it happened.) The raccoon must have gotten bored because he dropped back down to all fours and casually sauntered off like he owned the place. I was flabbergasted! WTF man? So now I guess I need to have either a snack for the guy or some raccoon repellent.

There are probably more rules we could all come up with. If you have a good one, leave it for me as a comment. As it is, I still get more blogging done here than at home right now. It just seems to go faster when there are no distractions... you know, other than Mr. Crotch Rubber over there! LOL!

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Welcome To My Sexy Party, ,,,,,

Well, it wasn't MY party. I went to one of those "Pleasure Parties" at my friend, Ms. M's house today! It was funny as hell. Here's why...

When we were living in Memphis, HHH had several different jobs. One was for a fencing company until he hurt his hand and he couldn't do it anymore, then he got the job as a groundskeeper and eventually moved up to being a maintenance man, and he also worked in a pizza place for a while as well. One of his more SPICY jobs was in a local "hot" shop called Crystal's. I say "hot" shop because pornographic media and toy boutique would just be giving away too much! LOL! He was hired to work there kind of as muscle because sometimes the male clientele would get a little too fresh with the shop girls that ran the register. It was a good job. The hours were steady, the pay was decent, and the employee discount was AWESOME!!!!!!! We had more stuff than I knew what to do with. Our sex life was already hot, then add in some of the toys and outfits HHH brought home to me and whoo-hoo! We were burning up the place! We had toys of all sorts, lotions, lubricants, whips, restraints, masks, outfits, bustiers, etc, etc, etc..... It was cool! I was the envy of a few of my female coworkers at the restaurant! I would even help HHH make sales by either talking to someone on the phone about my experience with a certain product, or showing my work friends a few small goodies, (can we say pocket rocket? I knew you could!) and bringing it to them very discreetly so no one else would know. It was fun!

As all good things are won't to do though, the owners of the place started to become a little demanding on HHH's time. The "hot" shop was actually a second job for us to be able to get a little extra money for bills and Christmas. It wasn't ever supposed to be something that took over all of HHH's time. Eventually he had to turn in his resignation and concentrate more on the maintenance side of his work. I think that the owners of that little shop lost a very good worker that day. HHH was great with everyone who came in there no matter who they were. He was also very knowledgeable about the products, ( the stats on a certain product like what it was made of, how to care for it, how to extend the battery life, & what was a comparable product for less/more $$$.) While I was sitting in Ms. M's living room listening to the sales girl ex toll on the wonders of the Reving Rabbit, I was once again transported back to the past and I heard in the back of my mind HHH's deep voice saying, "Oh honey!! Look what I brought you!"

I smiled.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Everybody Come And Play......

Throw all of your cares away...
Let's go to the mall......TODAY!

Ha ha ha I love "How I Met Your Mother" !! I have that song there and the "Hey Beautiful" theme song as my ring tones! If I could get the "Big Bang Theory" theme as my ring tone too I'd be set! As it is, the Bare Naked Ladies who sing it will be doing a weekend in Universal for Mardi Gras so I will settle for that.... I hope they play it. I like the whole thing plus I love the show too!

What sitcom TV themes would you have as a ring tone??

Friday, January 23, 2009

So A Blonde Walks Into A Bar....

Hi everybody! That title there was a little misleading. No jokes to share.... I am just taking it easy because mother nature has knocked me on my ass this month. No idea why, but it's bad to the point I can't get out of bed and while I'm there I can't do anything! (HHH is not a happy camper!) I guess I will eventually go to the doc and see what's up.... last time they said it was just the peri-menopause and my body trying to shut down the old baby factory, but a second opinion can't hurt! While I have been gone, here's what's been occurring....

The school is trying to screw my kids over again! Yep. I got a note saying I have to find a ride to the next field trip destination. Seems parents are not allowed to ride with their children. Sure. No problem.... except the only reason I am even going is to take care of Junior while he is there, both on and off the bus! The school can't and won't pay for a nurse or nursing assistant to go with Junior or Morgan on their field trips, so I go with or my kids get excluded from the trip all together! Now they are telling me if I want Junior to go, I have to drive in another vehicle, or take a cab, and take Junior to his destination and back to school that way. He won't get to ride on the bus either. WTF chuck?? I already went on 2 trips with the kids this year and there were no problems then.... why are we having static now? So I have to wait till the end of next week when the final head count will be in and see if there id "room" for me to go with Junior.... if not, it's a cab or nothing. Just so you know, I am already in contact with an attorney. This is bull shit! This is going to turn my kid into "Oh, that's the diabetic kid who always has to ride with his mom. What a dork!" I can see it now. It's bad enough he has to have me go and can't have a classmate as his partner... now he can't even ride the bus with his class because of this shit? i don't think so. Wish me luck....

My fitness endeavors have been paying off! I don't own a scale, but I am fitting into clothing that was really tight before! I am really excited. Ms. M and I have been walking the Ringling bridge on Monday's, Wednesday's, & Friday's! It has been kicking my ass, but we have been out there. In the rain, in the cold, and in the wind! We even went during this freak cold snap!

That's another thing!! What in the sweet holy fuck is with this weather! I have said it many a time on Twitter and I am going to say it again.....FUCK YOU AL GORE, AND ALL YOUR GLOBAL WARMING BUDDIES TOO!!!!! I have been freezing my ass off for the last three days! We actually had to turn the heater on. It's madness, I say!!!! Utter MADNESS!!!!!!! I live in southwest Florida for a frickin' reason, and that reason is because it is warm! Hell, it's tropical. I love tropical! Sweat baby, sweat! I'm just glad the temperatures are supposed to go back up by next week. This crap sucks icy, stinky balls and I, for one, can do without it.

Well, that's all I got for now. I may be in and out for a few days.... like I said, this thing is kicking my ass but good. Take care, my intrepid readers, and know that Blondefabulous will never be down and out for long!

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

The return of HHH...

Hello everyone and welcome to the latest installment of the Hot Hunky Hubby Hour! OK well maybe not an hour but a good 5 or 10 minutes worth of reading I'm sure. First off thanks to all for the get wells I received. It sucked major ass being laid up for 9 days and not be able to do anything. Although I wasn't totally incapacitated I did manage to keep Blondie busy! (*wink wink nudge nudge*) Things have been going really well for me I'm staying busy at work. Just recently I had the opportunity to acquire a new vehicle, I will pick it up on the 30th of this month. It's not the prettiest girl on the block but she runs and that's what counts. $250 for a 1988 Chevy Silverado Ext Cab. Wooohooo No more walking! I don't know whats been up with me lately but I have been in rare form it's like I cant get enough of this hot woman. Must be something in the water, damn just thinking about it makes me wanna stop typing, rip her clothes off and have mad passionate sex with her. I have had to scale back though I'm on call this week and you wouldn't believe what a buzz kill it it is to have your woman warm and in bed with you, when all of a sudden in the distance you hear...BEEP BEEP BEEEP! UGH!! It's ok though, 2 more days and I get to pass it off to the next guy in line and then watch out Blondie!! I'm also happy to inform everyone that my brother is finally getting off his ass and gonna pay me the money he owes me. So instead of the $300 he owes me, I'm gonna end up with $200 and a cute pain in the ass Chihuahua. Mardi Gras is quickly approaching at Universal and there are quite a few bands that I'm looking forward to seeing and with the new car I'll be there just as much as I can. The voodoo juice they make there is Freakin' Sweet! Ok so it wont take very long to read this but just wanted to give my extremely beautiful, mind-blowing Oral Goddess a night off from blogging and to give everyone a peek into the twisted mind of HHH. And if I don't see ya again..Good Morning, Good Afternoon and Good Night!!

Monday, January 19, 2009

Say Ahhhhhhh.

Today Junior and Morgan had a dental appointment. Now, we have been to the dentist before, but that was catch as catch can because of HHH having to change jobs and us having to move quite a bit. Also, when we lived in Memphis, the CMS up there was, oh shall we say, lacking. Getting appointments there took 6 months or more. The only times we went to the dentist was when I could pay for it out of pocket... and that wasn't often!
So we get going for the appointment. I had never been to this dentist, but our CMS coordinator made the appointment for us, and
I was OK with it. She had made our other appointments before this and all those turned out great. I should have known something would be amiss when the car service arrived late. It wasn't our usual driver. We get to the dentists office and it is in an old building from the 1960's. I'm talking old. (Sorry to anyone born in the 60's.) I find the directory and locate the office upstairs. We get up there and there is a tiny door that is scratched and dented. Hmmmm..... We get inside the office and it looks OK inside. The waiting room is small, but there is a beautiful seascape mural painted on the walls, a Pac-Man arcade game in the corner and plenty of chairs. There are also numerous signs on the walls. Signs about being late and being rescheduled, or don't touch the mural, and turn off your cell phone, or don't leave the office or we'll skip your appointment, etc, etc, etc..... Seems a little control freakish to me. I go up to the receptionist and give her our appointment card and she hands me a sheaf of papers to fill out. I fill out the first one which is just the usual contact information and medical information. The second one is an explanation of their policy as pertaining to treating your child. Words like Papoose boarding, holding down, and no drugs litter the page. Finally, at the bottom it says "NO PARENTS ARE ALLOWED BACK WITH THE CHILDREN." Um, yeah... I don't see that happening, but I'll talk to the receptionist. Then the next form is about how the dentist feels that children are a gift from God and a bunch of other religious mumbo jumbo. Call me crazy, but if I go to the doctor, I want there to be medical talk... not conversion to other religion. I finish filling out the forms and go up to the desk to give it to the rather happy looking woman behind the counter. I explain about how I am not kosher with the not being in the room with the kids thing. She pastes on a waaaaaaaay to happy smile and says, "Oh well that is just our policy and we make no exceptions for it." I just can't do that. Sorry. I am an over protective mama. I call Jenn at CMS and leave a message for her that I am not in agreement with this dentists policies about treatment. I had to leave a message because the office was closed for MLK day. I basically say I need to be there for my kids while they are undergoing something scary and new, and could we please find a different provider that will work with that? Then I call the car service to come back and get us.
I gather up all our belongings and bid the receptionist adieu and we go downstairs. While we are waiting I start to look around at the other offices in the old, decrepit building. There are two more DDS offices, a holistic medical center, an accountant, and two "Women's" centers. Um yeah. Next to two dental offices that cater exclusively to children there are not one but TWO abortion clinics. Don't get me wrong, I think we as women have a right to choose..... but the juxtaposition of those next to the kids dental offices.... it just didn't fit! I guess the rent must be controlled or something. Whatever. Either way.... I'm not going to bring my kids back there anyway.
So that was the day. We came home and the kids went outside and enjoied the sunshine and the cool breezes. I called HHH and explained what happened and we both agreed that it was the right thing to do for our family. We'll get Junior his new smile one way or the other.

Sunday, January 18, 2009


I can't think of anything to say.

I could talk about how I wish the w-2's would get here so we could file our taxes and get the money back so we can buy a car.

I could talk about how the kids and I have a dental appointment tomorrow. Chauffeured town car there and back.

I could talk about how the kids are driving me absolutely batshit nuts!

I could talk about my BIL calling to check on his dog that is now our dog and how he's now trying to get us to buy his mini van from him. *sigh*

I could talk about how excited I am for Tuesday to get here!

I could talk about how hot HHH has been lately. Whew..... that man just may be the cause of my many hot flashes this week!

So, like I said, I can't think of a thing to say. That just must be the Sunday talking.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Oh Yes It's Ladies Night.....

And we're feelin' right!

Ms. M and I went out to dinner last night,(Friday). It was quite an evening. We tried to go to the Olive Garden first, because with my new vigilance in keeping to the gluten free diet, I figured I could eat lots of salad! Oh. My. GAWD! I know it was Friday night and all, but Jebus! The place looked like it was under attack by an army! We couldn't even get a place to park anywhere near it. After making a loop and almost getting hit by someone in the parking lot, we decide that perhaps the Olive Garden is just not in the cards. Little did I know that Lady Karma had a plan for us. We decide we still want Italian and go to our next option, Carrabba's.

We drive over to it, with some difficulty,(Ms. M's navigation system tried to take us to a boat dealership and say that it was the restaurant.), find a place to park, and go inside. It was packed as well, but not as much as the O.G.. People weren't sitting outside freezing their asses off. The hostess says it'll be about 60 minutes and we say OK and head to the bar. I get a red wine, and Ms. M gets a Malibu and mixer. We are drinking and laughing and basically enjoying ourselves, where as most everyone else there is sour and pissy. They all want to know WHY they haven't been seated yet, and they want to know RIGHT NOW! The Hostess tried to explain over and over again that she can't make the other diners get up and leave before they're ready, but to no avail. I have worked restaurant and so has Ms. M, we know that the people who bitch and whine the most are the ones who are made to wait the longest, no special treatment. It's just how it is..... sucks to be you, but you decided to go out on the busiest night of the week and you then want to blame the wait on the staff? F*ck that! You get what you ask for, live with it.

Ms. M and I were feeling good. We were laughing and joking with the hostess staff and the waitstaff. We sang and drank and we were having a great time just waiting for a table when suddenly one of the hostesses comes over to us and says VERY quietly..."The tall tables in the bar area are first come, first serve, and the people right behind you are eating dessert and about to leave!" Ms. M and I take this as a sign that having a good attitude will bring good things, and we start watching for that table to leave. It took the diners forever to finish a little itty bitty dessert, but finally they get up and leave and we start moving over towards the table. At one point I thought it got snaked out from under us, but no it wasn't. Because we thought it had been snaked, we turned our backs on it, but the we heard the hostess say, "Oh these ladies have been waiting patiently, seat them there!"


We sit down and proceed to have a delicious meal. A glorious meal! A GLUTEN FREE meal! (at least for me!) How, you ask, did this get accomplished? It's simple, you see.


I was freakin' amazed!

t was if the heavens opened up, and Lady Karma shined down upon me! I was amazed. I had a wonderful Steak Bryan, which was topped with goat cheese and sun dried tomatoes! Yum! It went really well with my red wine! There's nothing better than a good steak and a good glass of wine!

After the dinner we went home. We tried to do a little shopping, but it was after 9 and everywhere we wanted to go was closed. Of course there was also the fact that we had left ALL of the kids, both hers and mine, with HHH for the evening. Yes, you did read correctly. HHH had 6 kids he was watching for the evening while Ms. M and I went out. What a great Hubby! I thanked him properly the next morning!

And so ended my little evening of fun! It was nice to get out with a girlfriend and have an adventure. I haven't done it in years. Just remember, be nice to your servers and hostesses..... it pays in the long run!

Friday, January 16, 2009

Lusting For Brilliance.

It happens every year. With the turn of the seasons, the catalogs arrive and I am once again sucked into the wonderful/terrible world of organization.

That photo up there is from the Pottery Barn's spring catalog. I saw it and my little heart went all a flutter. The cork boards...... the magnetic calender .....the recharge station with whiteboard! OMG! I am in love! Unfortunately... it is a dream that is never to be. Why, you ask? Well for one, the organizational masterpiece they have pictured in their catalog would come to a cost of $459 dollars BEFORE tax and shipping. Then there is the little fact that I would have to rearrange one entire wall in my living room for this masterwork of organization! Um..... I could possibly do that, but I'd still have to get together the almost $600 bucks to buy the stuff! Then there's the little matter of getting HHH to put it all up for me. Yeah..... that's gonna take a while. If he works for a living doing things like putting up shelves and leveling drywall and such, he's sure as hell not going to want to do it when he gets home for the day!

I think it is the idea of being organized. The abstract thought of a place for everything, and everything in it's place! I like that. I like the clean lines, the neat angles...... I like the fantasy. Too bad it is all just a fantasy. A beautiful fantasy made of clouds and ethereal light. How do I know it is just a fantasy? Well, let's look at the imaginary family that is in this organized alter....

This family contains Chris, Dave, Mel, & Jane. The family has a grocery list that contains arugula, eggs, and brown sugar. What grocery list of a family of four has ever just had 3 items on it? And that particular combination of items? I was a chef and I cannot think of a single dish I can make with those three items. Then there is the letter bin to the left middle, that holds, not letters, but a Bon Appetit magazine, a map of Central Park, and a few notebooks to more than likely jot down thoughts and errant sonnets that pop into their heads. Uh.... yeah. Right. Then there is the calendar. Those people have so much going on it is ridiculous! A bridal shower, a movie night, dinner with friends, spring break, two birthdays, the wedding that is presumably for who ever the bridal shower was for, then Gramma and Grampa coming to visit! OMG!! I would just collapse with exhaustion! Yeah, there may be people who are actually that busy, but I just can't jive that with this wall looking so completely organized. My wall would look nothing like that AT.....ALL! My wall would be a jumble of appointment cards, phone numbers, and memos. I would have the linen photo board at the top filled with photos of kids, animals, and HHH. It would not have any rhyme or reason as the imaginary family does. The menu board, however.... would be filled out weekly. That's just me though.

So I guess I will stick to my system I have right now. I run through the clutter on the desk I have every couple of months or so. I toss what's old and save what's new and next. I rearrange and refile, I dust and wipe. I will, however, still drool over the catalogs as they arrive, touting the organizational skills in their products, and making me lust in my heart for their sleek brilliance.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Just Leave Already!!!!!

I know you've all heard the comedy routine by one Jeff Foxworthy, the one about... "It's the President! He's on EVERY channel!!" Yeah, that one. Of course, Mr. Foxworthy was referring to a time when there was basically 10 to 12 channels and if there happened to be a news conference, or a State of the Union address, we were all screwed. Well, some things never change, like tonight. (It's good to note here that I like the programing on the regular networks. Like ABC, NBC, FOX, & CBS.)

Tonight I was ready to watch the new episodes of "Bones", "My Name Is Earl", and catch up on "CSI" since Grissom is leaving the show this episode, but NOOOOOOOOOO! Mr. Run The Country Into The Ground had to have his last hurrah. He had to have a last word. Never mind he has been doing interview after interview, photo op after photo op...... he has to torture us one more time with his, "I think I did good." spiel. Hell, in one interview, Bush even admitted that when he gets out of office, his finances will be "great"! Oh goody! Lets piss off everyone else who doesn't have a job or steady financial income by screwing us over, then taunting and bragging about it. I am beyond glad that dumb ass is exiting the Oval Office. Say what you want about who is going to be president, but GWB sucked ass and embarrassed the country many times over. See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya!

So, back to the TV thing. The shows were all fucked up. Earl was old then instead of "Kath & Kim" they had the new Earl. Fox didn't even try to put Bones on. Instead, they put on an episode of "Kitchen Nightmares". CBS shortened the first half episode of CSI so they could start the second half on time at 9pm. So basically, the whole night was shot except for CSI. It is excellent. It is scary. I'm going to miss the Grissom character but Petersen is doing the right thing. Leave at the top of his game before he becomes a William Shatner, doing trade shows, lousy recording albums, and autograph signings at $50 a pop. I guess if I had to choose, the CSI episode is the one I really wanted to see tonight. GW is lucky he didn't f*ck that up.

So come on January 20th!

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

I'm Done.

Yep. Done. Over. Finito. Gone.

I am done with the Wal-Mart I have currently been doing my pharmaceutical business with. There is no returning.

Ms. M and I went walking today. It was a bright, cold morning. The sea air was ripe with anticipation, expectation, and low tide. The winds were brisk, the clouds were few and we were walking along. After our early morning jaunt, we hit up Starbucks for one of their new teas. (I am addicted to the London Fog.) Then.... we had to go to the Wall to Wall Mart to get two scripts I had called in the night before. I get in the always long and slow moving line, wait my turn, and get to the counter only to be told, "They aren't ready. Come back in 15 minutes." Fine..... Ms. M had some shopping to do anyway so we walk around the aisles and gather up the stuff she needs. I let 20 minutes go by, just for good measure, and go back to the pharmacy department. The line is even LONGER now. Great right? Well, I didn't think it was so great! I get to the front of the line AGAIN, and ask about the scripts AGAIN! I get a look of bewilderment along with a "You need to come back in another 5 or 10 minutes." OMG! WTF??? By this time, Ms. M had paid for all her purchases, taken them out to her van, and come all the way back in the store to find me! I am fuming. I feel like Dave when he was having all those airport issues in December!!

So then Ms. M and I kill ANOTHER 10 minutes puttering around the pet department and I go back and get into the long ass fucking line AGAIN. I get to the front and the clearly clueless woman says that only one of the scripts are ready. WHAT!?! Oh you have got to be kidding me! I ask what is going on, why it isn't going through and pull out all the cards and information sheets I have from the CMS place. The woman goes back into the filling part of the pharmacy and then some magic happens and now, finally, after an hour.... I get my prescriptions. Oh Hallelujah , and praise Jebus! I figure Lady Karma must have been in the shower or something and saw my predicament once she got out and fixed it rightly. We grab my shit and get the hell out of there as fast as possible.

So that little expedition led me to my new decision of.... I AM MOVING MY SHIT TO ANOTHER PHARMACY!!!!!! I am calling Jenn, my CMS coordinator, and asking her where I can take my kids prescriptions to. Anywhere! We only started using Wall to Wall Mart because the CMS in Okeechobee said it was the one they used because the billing was less complicated for them. Well, we aren't in Okee in anymore and I am TIRED of Wally World's shit. There is no $20 card that will make me stay there another moment! Even if it is a different Wall to Wall Mart.... that might be better. I'd prefer somewhere else though, as I am constantly frightened by the denizens that inhabit the place!

Like I said, I'm done.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

When Free Is Not Free.

The other day, I was on one of those sparkly comment sites looking to get code for a nice, "Happy New Year" doohicky to put on a few of my MySpace friends comments. I found what I was looking for and copied the code I needed and then before I got the A-OK, there was a flash up on the screen. It said, "Would you like a free copy of ESPN: The Magazine? I thought I had clicked on the "NO" box, but lo and behold, a week later, a copy of ESPN: The Mag showed up in our mailbox. What ever. It was supposed to be a trial copy anyway... no harm in looking it over. Unfortunately, issues kept showing up. One every week. Then a BILL showed up. A bill for the subscription I did not ask for. A bill asking me to pay for 12 weeks or more of a magazine that, while entertaining and informative, I DID NOT ASK FOR! And before a few of you say it, yes I could have taken the time to point out their mistake..... but it was their mistake and I am a busy mother of 3.

This incident leads me to think that any and all offers of a "free" issue, book, video, you name it, isn't really free. Yeah, I'm naive like that. I think that if you are advertising something as free.... then free it should be. Don't tell me something is free then send me a bill. That's just bad manners. (This kind of includes those "free" mailing lables/calenders people send you for fund raising.) What would the magazine companies do if I sent them a bill for my time reading their publication when I didn't enjoy it or even ask for them? Imagine.......

"Hi, is this "Vapid Clothes Horse: The Magazine"? Yeah, I need to get the address to your accounting offices because I need to send you the bill for my time. Why, you ask? Well, I spent my time on your atrocious rag and it wasn't even worth using the pages to wipe my ass with when I ran out of toilet paper. Yes I did read the entire thing. No, I did not enjoy it. Please remit your $$$ promptly. Thank-you."

I see that going over well. What I want to know is, what makes this a profitable way to do business? How is sending out more than the complimentary issue of any magazine going to increase your profits? Materials, postage and labor has to be costing them major dollars, and in this economy, the money ought not be wasted! Do people actually PAY for magazine subscriptions they do not want and were not requested in the first place? I they do, they're morons. It would be like going to the store for just a gallon of milk, and having the cashier ring up cookies, chocolate syrup, and brownies, then making you pay for it all without any say so. It's stupid. It's harassment. It borders on bullying! I will not be a part of it.

So now, I am not using the same site anymore for my flashy, blingy comment graphics. I'm not tech-savvy enough to make my own, but you can be darn sure that where ever I go to get my comments now, I won't be checking the option to those supposedly "FREE" items. The experts are right... there's no such thing as a free lunch, or magazine issue, as it were.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Fitting In.....I Does It.

Oscar has done remarkably well fitting into the family unit that is the Wetheringtons. He's already helping HHH pick new and interesting bumper stickers on MySpace to send me......
Oscar and Toby are both doing really well on their newly formed, tag team napping squad.
Oscar's begging face is at maximum cute level. If he does it while wearing one of his funny shirts, I would give him the contents of the fridge!
So, as you can see...... Oscar has become one of the family! We all love him. He is 100% a different dog than when he arrived and now that he's here, we can't imagine life without him.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Time For... Another Day Off!?!

Wait??? What???

What do you mean my kids are out of school again? We just went back on Monday and now they are out again? WTF is that all about? I have things to do, laundry to wash, floors to clean, bridges to walk...... I can't be having to step over 3 kids under foot moaning about, "MOM! I'm bored!" I just can't. It has to be grounds for munchkin homicide!!!

No, really though, why are we having more time off right after winter break? I would think the conventional wisdom of the educational system would be to have the kids in for as many days as possible. I even got a note from Juniors teacher saying he missed a few more days of school than she was comfortable with and to try to keep him in school more during the spring semester. (Some of these missed days were because of her not heeding my warning about Junior sitting next to other sick children. He caught all manner of plagues!) So with these lofty goals in mind, I am at a loss for why we are not sending our progeny into the school tomorrow.

So I get up and look at the school calendar I have on the fridge and I see the little date circled and I check the key to see what it says the day is significant for. It is "Professionals" day. Hrmmm..... They are taking the day off to celebrate being professional. If they were a little more professional, they'd be in school teaching my children so I can go out and get a decent pedicure, or at least clean the house and put it in some semblance of order! It is bad enough that HHH is home with a bum ankle, but now I have 3 other, smaller humans who are all, "MOM! I'm hungry!", "MOM! She won't die so I can play!!", "MOM! I don't wanna do chores!". Hmph! Stupid school.

So that's all I got for today. I'll be walking the bridge w/Ms. M cause HHH will be watching all the kids. See... I knew he'd come in handy!

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Mission Accomplished.

My little warrior. Protector of cake!
Middle J blowing out the candles!
Middle J with Morgan saying the cake is awesome!
The cake that took 4 days, and $57 for materials that would have cost $300 in my old bakery/restaurant just to make a little boy feel like he was the most important kid on the planet!


Friday, January 9, 2009

Almost Done.

I would write more, but I'm tired. So very tired. Special thanks to HHH for making the Piranha Plant and the Boo for me. His artistic skills were a blessing. Tomorrow is B-Day. I'm not putting it together until we get to the party site. I don't want any mishaps. I'll bring my icing kit and put it all up when we get to the mini golf park. Ms. M is really happy with the cake. She is keeping it a surprise from Middle J. He'll show up after we have it put it together. There will be more photos tomorrow. Ms. M was also kind enough to buy Mo and I a gluten free cake mix so we could partake of the party as well. Imagine that. A baker, who spends so much time creating delicious confections, who can't taste ANY OF IT!!!!!! Yeah, welcome to my new life as a gluten free parent.

Anyway, like I said, there will be more photo's tomorrow! I can't wait!!

Thursday, January 8, 2009

The Ladies Man, Part 2.

Here's my man. My "Little" man. My little ladies man. He has been so cute lately. There is a little girl in his class that he likes. He, coming from the stock that he does, has been much too suave and debonair for a 6 year old. He holds doors for her, and brings stuff for her from home like small toys. Lately, he has taken to waiting for her to come out of the school, then he has been letting her ride his bike. It is too cute. Today, Junior rode his new scooter to school and he waited for his little girlfriend to come out . First, he got Ms. M's new puppy so he could get her attention. Then he showed her his new scooter. Then, and this was the part that was so frickin' cute...... he puts his helmet ON her head for her. I was there with Ms. M and Mrs. J going "AAWWWWWWW!" Ms. M even said that my boy is not a stupid kid. He knew EXACTLY what he was doing. So then Junior was running alongside of her and I said, "I wonder why he doesn't carry her backpack for her?" Junior heard me and bolts over to her and takes her backpack for her so she can balance better. It was so cute.

So there you have it folks..... That has to be true love, elementary school style.

True love is a little boy who will be seen carrying a "My Little Pony" backpack!

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Fondant Frenzy: Chomps & Womps... Oh My!

Uh, yeah. Those right there, are my versions of the Chain Chomp and Womps from the Mario games. Tomorrow I am going to attempt the Piranha plant and the Bullet Bill. Ah...... the fun of cake!

Mo and I went to the doctor today. We went to see Mo's new gastro doc and see how she's been doing. I warned him that last year was pretty rough for us and that we weren't always in a position to get gluten free stuff for her to eat. So far, for the new year, we have been doing really good. Lots of rice, potatoes, veggies, and lean meats. It seems to be working. Tomorrow I am going to the health foods store to get some gluten free cake mix so I can make Morgan some cupcakes for Middle J's birthday party on Saturday. I am bound and determined to make this work. I just thought, "Hey! Instead of burgers and fries... we'll be steak and potato girls!" Anyway, there isn't any medication you can take, no special pills or inhalers....... just stop eating gluten foods. So that's what we are going to do. I was especially proud of Mo when we went to have her blood drawn. She didn't flinch, jump, or cry! She let the phlebotomist draw the vial of blood and as a reward, she was given a Ballerina Barbie! I was blown away! A doctors office that gives away dolls and toys? What won't they think of next? Also, the car service CMS sent to take us to and from the appointment was the total bomb! We rode in style in snazzy Lincoln Towncars! It was awesome.

So I have plans for tomorrow. Tonight though, the mario music won't stop playing in my head!

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Have A Nice Trip Next Fall.

HHH has a problem. He slipped down the stairs at work. He twisted his ankle. He is now on crutches and has two prescriptions for pain and swelling. He is laid up till Thursday when they can do a check for tendon damage. How fun!

So, I will be having a man underfoot for the next two days. Well maybe not underfoot, but in bed and hogging the TV, Wii, and the computer. I'm sure he'll be OK.

Ms. M and I went to Game Stop to look for a figurine to go on top of Middle J's cake. We found a nice one too. It was a little Mario in the go-kart he drives in that Mario Kart game! PERFECT! To make that great find even better? IT WAS A REMOTE CONTROLLED KART!!!!! It was awe..........................................some! (Barney style!) SO I made the final sketch of the cake for Ms. M's approval. She liked it. Then I showed he what it would look like with an asymmetrical tilt to the cake layers. Totally awe.................some! (In Barney style, yet again!) Maybe I can get a job on Ace of Cakes..... yeah, probably not. I won't hold my breath. Tomorrow I will start on the cut outs for the sides. I gotta make little Goombas, Bullet Bills, and Piranha Plants!

Time to suit up!

I Hadz A Sleep.

Oh my goodness. I fell asleep after dinner while watching the Simpson's. That was at 7pm. I got up with the alarm this morning at 6am. I have now slept for 11 hours and I feel completely refreshed. I am still yawning a bit, but I think that is because of the amount of sleep I got. Now I am sitting here wondering if it has anything to do with what I did yesterday. I'll explain...

Yesterday, Ms. M and I went out and walked the bridge. Don't ask be the name of the thing... I don't remember. What I do remember is it is 1.3 miles in length and has a 15 to 20% uphill grade. Ouch. We drove to the park on the other side of it, and parked the van. From there it was a short walk to the large side walk ran alongside the span. I was almost out of breath going up the darn thing! Me! The woman who does a mile in the morning to and from the school, then another mile in the afternoon to and from the school again. I almost couldn't keep up with the conversation I was having. We did make it to the top and then back down. That was all well and good, but we had to turn around at the bottom and go right back up it again! We made it back up it too, and for a treat.... we went to Starbucks as a reward.

I. Am. In. Love.
I am in love with the new tea lattes they are doing now! Ms. M and I got the "London Fog". It was totally awesome. It was a blend of teas with Earl Grey being the top note in the flavors, steamed milk, and then I added some Splenda to it. It was creamy and yummy and I am in heaven! The best part about it was if we picked 2% milk for the latte, it only comes to 150 calories for a tall. Awesome again! I can't ever drink anything bigger than a tall anyway. So, we got our Bux and made our way back to the complex. Ms. M dropped me off at my place and we made plans to meet up and walk to the school later with Mrs. J.

On the Oscar front, yesterday was our first school walk with him. He did FABULOUS! I was very proud of him. He even pooped outside. Granted it was on the sidewalk, but I had a baggie and I picked it up! No nasty sidewalk for us. All the kids loved him, and when we got back from the school Oscar passed out for about an hour. That made dinner easier since he wasn't under foot constantly while I made it. I had a HUGE sinus headache and I took some medicine for that, but after I ate... I passed out myself! I was asleep and I woke up after what I thought was a couple minutes, but it had actually been a few hours. I changed into jammies and went back to sleep and here we are now..... with me writing my post right now, at 6:45 am instead of having it already done last night. They say exercise makes you sleep better. I guess they were right!

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Now It's My Vacation!!

Oh thank the Lord, the kids are back in school!!! I am sending mine to the showers to scrub off 2 weeks of winter break, (Oh they showered during, but just not as good as I would have liked.), and get ready for bed. Tomorrow the schedule begins again. 6am to 3:15pm, Monday through Friday. I can deal with that. Ms. M and I are going to go walk the bridge here in Sarasota after we get the kids into their respective educational institutions. I'm up for it. It's all part of the "do little things" speech I gave in yesterday's blog. If I change a few things here and there, I will quite possibly lose weight! I already get miles a day by walking to and from the school twice a day. It is a half mile there and another half mile back. That will be a great warm up for the actual walk. I know one thing I am going to like about school being in most of all. No more Manhunt! At least, I hope no more Manhunt.That's the game the little bastards have been playing that ends up with kids peeping in our windows and basically causing ruckus up here! Maybe I'm just old....

Another development is Morgan is going to start taking insulin at school. The prescription that Wall to Wall Mart, (Who hasn't answered my email yet, fuckers!) was for an insulin "pen" and the needle caps that go with it. Apparently, this kind of insulin delivery system is the only one allowed by Sarasota Schools. Why my daughter can't do her own shots at school with her regular stuff is beyond me. She knows how to draw up her own shots, she just needs adult supervision to watch. But nooooooooo. We have to do it their way. Desiree, the school nurse, is very good with both Morgan and Junior.... so I am sure we won't have any problems.

So tomorrow, I may have to get up early, but I will be humming "It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year" under my breath....... and maybe doing a little dance too!

Saturday, January 3, 2009

New Year..... New You.

Well, the new year has officially begun. I say this not because it is already January 3rd, but because the Special K commercials, the Gym Membership commercials, and the work out video commercials are all flooding the TV. Hell, when Ms. M and I were in Wall to Wall Mart, they had huge displays of work out DVD's and exercise equipment! I guess the weight loss race is on for all of America. What really gets me is none of these commercials, products, and spokespeople say very much about just being healthy. You know, "I'm OK, you're OK, we're all OK.... but if you feel like you may want to drop a few pounds, or maybe work on getting a little more muscle tone, let us help you." Most of the advertisements are full of impossibly thin women and buff, burly men who swear by what ever product they are touting being the reason for said buff thinness! Then there are all the magazines. There's Cosmo, Mademoiselle, Glamour, and all the rest telling me they have the super duper secret to diet success, or that they have the key, life changing ingredient to making me thinner and happier. The actual diet centers that advertise are a little better. Most of them say they want to make you healthier in the new year, but they still show tiny women in stretchy spandex. If I am going to go to one of these places I most definitely do not want to be standing next to the toothpick woman during the weigh in. WTF man?? I also don't want to go to the gym and have to do the elliptical next to the young hot thing from the local university who has her ecologically friendly water bottle, iPod, and matching bandanna and ponytail holder along with her little tank top and shorts that proclaim she is a "Hottie" on the back of her little, gravity free, non existent ass! (Oh my, did I rant for a bit there?)

Right now, I am over weight. I know it. I am pretty OK with it. The parts of me that aren't OK are my knee, that I still have bits of 13th Street and 39th Avenue in Gainesville, FL in it. It complains about hauling my fat ass around every once in a while. My back, that still goes out on me every once in a while, most recently during a wonderful morning of absolutely amazing sex with HHH. It isn't happy with me being a little rolly polly. Then there are my feet. After a day in a theme park, they are barking at me. They are just as happy about hauling my fat ass around as my knee. God only knows what my insides look like. At my last check up, I had normal blood pressure, normal heart rates, and normal cholesterol's.... but how long can I keep that up? How long will Lady Karma let me get by? At 36, I don't think I should be pushing the envelope to much more..... so I am just going to say for this year, I'd like to change just a few things, like drinking more water, or really trying to stick to the Gluten free diet like I should be. I don't want to go all out, gung ho, and head first in to the new year.....

I just want to nibble my into it a little at a time.

What are you guys doing?

Friday, January 2, 2009

How Hard Could It Be?

Get your minds out of the gutters! I don't mean that.... I was talking about trying to get a prescription from the Wal-Mart pharmacy! Holy crap, I started out trying to get this script filled last year for goodness sakes..... and it took till 2009 to finally get it! Wann know why, well here ya go.

I started out, actually on December 19th. We had gone to the Endocrinologist and got the kids switched over to Sarasota's CMS. The Doc said Morgan needed to have her meds adjusted and then wrote out a prescription for the insulin click pens, (which is the only insulin device the school will allow), for her to take to school. It was right before our trip to Universal so I didn't get it filled right away. We had until winter break was over to get it. Everything was cool, or so I thought. Enter Monday, the 29th. Ms. M takes me up to Wal Mart to drop off Morgan's prescription. The woman takes it and says it will be around two hours before it can be filled. OK, no problem. We run a few errands and flit about town and then come back to pick the insulin and needles. I get to the front of a VERY long line, (There must be a geriatric home close by because there were more little old ladies there than at a knitting and Metamucil convention!), and am informed that the pharmacy didn't have the needles so I would have to come back for that on Tuesday, the 30th. Fine. I could deal with that. We get home and I open the bag and see..... needles, not insulin! I freak out and call the pharmacy asking what is going on. Come to find out, the cashier was mistaken about what they were out of at the time and that they had everything under control. OK again. Since it was coming up on New Years, I couldn't get a ride back to the store until New Years Eve. They were closing early that day and it was a freaking mad house on the roads so I decided to wait until 2009 to go and get the insulin. The Pharmacy was closed until January 2nd, so we loaded up with all the kids and went back to the Wal-Mart. I get there, wait in ANOTHER long line to get the meds my daughter needs and then we go on our merry way. Ms. M and I, along with all the kids go do some more shopping at another store, make our way back home and I go to unpack the bags and...... NO INSULIN!!! Just an empty bag stapled shut with the drug interaction warning paper inside!!! What the fuck, Wal-Mart?? Why can't I get my daughter's life sustaining insulin? (Not really, I have back up meds for her and Junior.) I call yet again and am greeted with a woman who sounds apologetic and tells me that if I come back before 7pm, I will be able to just go to the drop off window and get Morgan's meds. I call Ms. M back and ask her really nicely if she will run me back up to the pharmacy. Ms. M called Wal-Mart a few choice names and said sure, she'd drive me back. I get there again and we both go in and while I am waiting in line, she checks out the 75% off deals. I get to the window and see the woman looking at me like I have cooties of something. I explain that I was the irate woman who was searching for her daughter's insulin. The girl at the window didn't seem to care much, she goes and gets the insulin and says, "Oh, this has been happening all day. Next time remind the cashier that she needs to check the fridge." Um.... how is that MY job? It isn't. It is Wal-Mart's job. I wrote a not so nice email to Wal-mart and filled out my survey checking off the "Strongly Disagree" answer most of the time. The only thing that made the trip not a complete and total bust was the fact that the 75% off sale started today and we found some great bargains! We saw $200 pre lit Christmas trees for $50, and lights for $ 3. Hell, Ms. M got $100 of stuff for $31! Unfortunately, we took about two hours to do all this and HHH was kinda pissed at me when I got back. Oops. I apologized and handed him the bag of discount candy I had gotten.

So I am seriously thinking that I need to switch to the mail order pharmacy that CMS uses. It just isn't worth the trouble I keep having to go through. I am waiting to see if I will get a response to my email. I probably won't. Wal-Mart isn't exactly concerned about their customers or employees. I'm just glad my daughter didn't need the insulin right away. She would have died before she got it!

Wal-Mart sucks ass. That is all.

Oscar Speaks!

Here is our new addition, Oscar, with Ms. M's new puppy, Cuddles. Cuddles is a girl. Oscar and Toby pretend she has cooties and were running from her.... I was trying hard not to pee myself while I watched !

At one point, Cuddles was talking back to Oscar while Toby looked at both of them with a confused look on his face. We just figured Toby couldn't understand "Chihuahua-nese.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Oh Hot Damn....

This is my jam........

OK not really, but it sounded funny right? Ha... yeah it did. Anyway, today went really well. I woke up around 9:30am and got up to a cute ass note from HHH saying how I was the bestest wife and how much he loooooooves me and how he's glad we are together in 2009, and to wake him up because he would love to have breakfast with me! What an "Aaaaaawwwwwwww!" moment right? Yeppers, and then after I saw that, I went and made cinnamon rolls for breakfast. He woke up before I could get them done so we could have breakfast in bed, so we all had breakfast in the living room and started surfing the channels for the Rose Bowl Parade. I love the Rose Bowl parade! The bands, the floats, the excitement! Who cares who's playing in the actual football game, (unless it's Florida in some strange turn of events.) I just want to see the amazing floats and the unusual ways that the builders use plant material to make the things on them. While that was going on, I started the New Years feast. I had to short boil the black eyed peas, let them soak, and then put them on simmer. Then I got the yams ready, and started on the greens. I got out the ham bone I had wrapped up and trimmed off ham from it to put in the peas so they would taste awesome. Then I made fried chicken and corn muffins. We had invited Ms. M and her family down again and we all had a great time watching TV eating and after everyone was stuffed beyond the normal boundaries of regular pants, the adults got up and played Wii bowling! Oh yeah.... we looked like complete dorks. Then we all played tennis and REALLY looked like dorks!

So after we got done doing that, I asked Ms. M who was making the cake for Middle J's birthday next week. She gave me a panic stricken look and I asked her if she'd like me to make it. So we sketched out a two tier vanilla cake that will be covered in fondant where I will make a little road and paint the cake with scenes from Mario Kart. Yep. Middle J is obsessed with Mario. So I'm going to go tomorrow and check out the cost of the stuff to make it. It is technically around a $300 to $350 cake, but I told her I'd do it for materials. She provides it.... I'll make it! I love doing big involved cakes. I get my ideas from that show. Duff is my hero! Bigger, Louder, Better! Hell yeah.

So the new year has started out good so far, and I am looking forward to making Middle J's cake, and so far I am happy and expectant for the future. Hope everyone else's New Year's went as well as mine did!