#1- I'd really like to NOT be homeless this year. This is a no brainer. In the past two years our family has been homeless TWICE because of job loss in this shitty economy. While this has made our family closer, it is just too damn stressful. This past time was stressful to the point that I was seriously intent on ending my own life rather than see my children out on the street....... AGAIN! Lucky for me I had a large net of intarwebz friends who helped our family and encouraged me not to end things with the dolphins. Now things are better than ever and I'd really like it to stay that way.
#2- Please lay the hell off my friends! Once again, a no brainer. If I thought my life was so sucky that I wanted to end it all, I know people who have dealt with way worse that I could have ever thought of!!! One lost her husband and father this year. Another had friends in terrible situations this year all the while dealing with their own demons. Another passed away from this world!! Still another almost lost her family to a tornado! Death, job loss, weather calamities, other crap.... come on damn it! Can we have a little good now? I really would like for my friends to have good this year.
#3- Can the world be a nicer place this year? People bombing people. People shooting people. People dying in natural disasters. People just committing random acts of violence against others for the sheer joy of doing it. Why? We all need to take a collective chill pill and calm the fuck down. Just because you don't believe in what I believe, or I don't see things from your perspective doesn't mean we have to beat each other into a bloody pulp! Can the world in general please just mellow out?
#4- Mo' Good Economy. Kind of like Mo' Better Blues only not. I figure the more cash flow America has, the better everyone will be doing. More jobs, more money, less unemployment, less homelessness. I guess it kind of goes along with suggestion #1.
And that's all I have for you for now. I won't keep you much longer, I know you're antsy to get off to those parties. Just a suggestion for you though. Change the diaper, you smell a little ripe. Can't pick up chicks if you're smelly! Now go out there and have fun, just remember I am right here and ready to lay the smackdown on your candy ass if you even THINK of fucking around!
Good. Just so we understand each other.