GET LOST!...in a book!

Here is what every parent dreams about...... Your kid reading a big ole book instead of being plopped down in front of the TV, computer, game station, etc.......

This is my daughter, Rebecca, wading through the Half Blood Prince, which will be out in theaters November 21st, right before her birthday. I see a trip to the theaters for her birthday.....

So, Um.....Yeah. Something Like That...

Still ill, still feeling like poo, I am going to have to face the fact that I need to lay off the internet and start dealing with being sick. Like now apparently. Don't worry, my internet peeps! I will be back. I just have to start concentrating on getting better, and getting the kids ready for back to school. That starts in a few weeks here. (THANK GOD!) I can't wait!

See you soon.

My Boobs Are HUGE!

Holy Jebus! I am not feeling so hot right now. My fever is coming back, my aches and pains are back, and to top it all off..... I am in my pre-about to start mode. How do I know this?

MY BOOBS ARE HUGE!

Not run of the mill, large breasted, well endowed huge, but OMG they were already a 40 D and not in my premenstrual state huge, but holy mother of God how am I going to put on any of my shirts huge! Ugh. So I am sick, and I am so trying to ignore it. It isn't working though. I feel icky! Thanks again honey!

Anyway, back to my boobs. They are ginormous. I must have went up 2 cup sizes in the span of a day and a half. HHH has been hypnotized by them. I bet if I asked him with my boobs to rob a bank and go get me 50 frapaccino's he would right now.... as long as he got to rub my boobs. This is a new occurrence for me. I didn't start having this happen until about 2 years ago. Right about when my Celiac's started coming to the forefront, I started having heavy menstrual cycles. REALLY heavy. Also I started having hot flashes. Now this was when I was 34, so I wasn't thinking anything about nature trying to make an early exit on me. Hell, I didn't think I would even be in that arena till I was in my 40's considering that my Mom didn't start her change until she was 45. I thought I had time, I thought I was OK for a few more years.

Nope. When I put my symptoms down for a nurse friend and coworker of mine, she took one look and said, "Oh! You must be peri-menopausal!" WTF?!? Who he hell are you calling peri-menopausal? Not me! But oh yes, it was me. I was sweating like a whore in church at all kinds of odd times! I was bleeding like a stuck hog at that time of the month. MY BOOBS WERE INFLATING TO UTTERLY FLABERGASTICAL SIZE! What was that fresh hell? Nobody mentioned to me that when I entered the period before my period would stop on me that my BOOBS would go completely haywire! So I am sitting here, sick, inflated, whining about my tata's while HHH is sitting next to me DROOLING over my BOOBS and trying his damndest to get me in the sack so he can get his hands on my massive mammaries! Of course, after his last two posts, what did you expect?

I oughta let him suffer, and shake my jubblies in front of him unmercifully but not let him touch..... it would remind him of his days bouncing at a tittie bar!

I Can't Think Of A Title....

Blogger is acting like it smoked some bad crack, so if this looks weird, it ain't me, OK? I still don't feel well and can't seem to string two thoughts together so here goes....

HHH GOT A REAL JOB! Yes people he sure did! Finally, after almost 8 months of searching and interviewing and worrying, he finally got a job. It is for a Temp agency that supplies people for Apartment Complexes who need someone for a few months here and a few months there. It is also for twice what he has been making working for our landlord. I have been thinking about our landlord and he is almost a slaver the way he works his people. He pays them next to nothing and if you become behind on the rent or your car payments, he say, "You can come work for me." andthen works the person to death. not nice really.

ALL MY KIDS ARE SICK. Dang HHH for bringing the pestilence home! Now we all have it. Rebecca is the latest victim of the fever and sniffles. I had to give her some Tylenol last night so she could get comfy and fall asleep. I hope this crap will be gone soon!

MY HUSBAND IS A HORN DOG! But I knew this when I married him. It was one of the things that attracted me to him. That and his smokin' hot bod! Of course now that he writes for me on Thirsdays, you all know that he's a horn dog, so this isn't big news.

MY ELDEST DAUGHTER WANTS TO WORK AT UNIVERSAL. Yep. She wants to be in the Beetlejuice show as either the Bride of Frankenstein or Hip and Hop. I think it's great that she has things that she wants to do in life. This brings the count up to 7 different things she wants to do when she grows up. Surfer, veterinarian, Massage Therapist, Olympic Softball Player, Singer, Dancer, and now Theme Park Entertainer. My other daughter just wants to be a wrestling diva on the WWE. I am a proud mother.

I'm tired and I need a nap, but I have laundry and dishes to get done. However, the "Producers" is playing in the DVD player, (Lane/Broderick version), and I may just veg on the couch for a moment or two

The "I'm Sick For The Weekend" Cop Out Post!

This is my cop out post because I don't feel good. Hopefully I'll be feeling better soon.

ARE YOU AN ATTENTION WHORE?

You Are An Attention Seeker

You're only human, so you can't help but want a little attention every now and then. You love the spotlight, but only when it's well deserved. You'd hate to be known for the wrong thing. And you also don't mind sharing the spotlight. You can easily give someone else credit or a complement. You know there's enough attention to go around, and it makes you happy when your friends shine. You come across as: Friendly and interesting People may wrongly think you're: A little more modest than you actually are!

http://www.blogthings.com/areyouanattentionwhorequiz/">Are You An Attention Whore?

Man What A Day At The Emepgenc y Depa tment >.

I am sitting here, vegging out on the couch, watching Last Comic Standing, and reflecting on the days events. It was a complete pisser today. HHH helped me out with the post, but after he left for work I started having a downhill run. Junior was slowly getting sicker and sicker as the day progressed. First he started off with a slight cough, then he started sniffeling, then he was running a fever! ACK!! Then right as lunch was being served, (PBJ's) He said he wasn't hungry. WTF?? My kid who eats everything that isn't moving isn't hungry? Oh yeah, he is sick! I try to put him in a hot shower to break his fever and then the puking started! Oh yeah, my kid looked like he was in a exorcist movie. I KNOW I didn't feed him anything green. And why does it look like he is barfing up raisins? I don't even have raisins in the house!!!!! So I decide it would be a good time to see where Juniors blood sugar was at. Wouldn't you know it..... he was 86. Under 100 is not good for him, and after the intense puking session, Junior didn't want to eat or drink anything that would help raise his sugar level. Super Mommy decides this would be a good time to call the pediatrician! So, I get Dr. Apu's office on the phone and the nurse that answered said for me to bring him immediately I hang up, call HHH to tell him what's going on and start dressing Junior to head out. The phone rings again, I answer, and it's the doctor's office again. They are saying for me to take Junior directly to the ER. This was in case they had to sink a line and give him fluids intravenously.. I was figuring they would have to do that anyway since he wasn't eating or drinking.

(OK, if this seems a little messed up in the sentance structure or such, like I said before, I'm watching Last Comic Standing....and the Girls Next Door are on it!)

Back to Junior. HHH gets home and we all jump in the car and I speed off to the hospital. We get to the ER and there are no clear signs pointing to where we need to go. There is a sign that says emergency entrance.....but only for ambulances! WTF people!?! I finally Drop HHH and Junior off at the main entrance and go park the car and come in after him with the girls. The lady at the desk says, "Oh we're just doing a little construction. Go through the doors and hang a right. OK. Got it. We were looking for a sign. ANY SIGN, and the above picture was what we got. EMEPGENC Y DEPA TMENT >. That was the ONLY SIGN in the entire frickin' place. What the hell, people? HHH presses a little doorbell looking thingy and a disembodied voice asks what we want and we say we have our son who needs to be seen. The voice says go wait in the waiting room. OK. There was no one else there so we figure it won't be long, but after 5 minutes of nothing, I check Junior's sugar again and he is now 77! I go back to the doorbell looking thing, press it again, and tell the disembodied voice that my son is diabetic, rapidly dropping in blood sugar, and is running a high fever and puking! That got their attention! I got a nurse out there in 5 seconds! They immediatly took Junior and HHH back, and the girls and I waited. And Waited,....... and waited. Then, we got one of the triage nurses popped out of the door and asked me some questions about Junior's insulin intake for the day, what he ate, when onset of symptoms was, yadda yadda yadda..... And then we waited and waited some more. Then triage nurse comes back and says that Junior is doing better and his sugar is coming back up with the adminstering of apple juice. It also seems like Junior has a small ear infection,...... which may have been caused by 4 consecutive rides on the bilgerat barges. (Super Mommy feels a little guilty right about then.) Anyway, long story short, HHH and Junior emerge from the ER with graham crackers, stickers, and a script for antibiotics. We go to Wall to Wall Mart, put it in for filling, and head back to the house. I get Junior comfy on the couch, turn on some freaky cartoon called "Chowder", and start on dinner. Now for the rest of the night, it's sugar checks, Tylenol, and antibiotics! No sleep for us, Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!

If I feel light headed,......I'll just go to the Emepgenc y Depa tment >.

The Second Post!! What's the World coming to?

Remember people. This is HHH posting for me. He was so well recieved last week, I decided to make him a Thursday feature for as long as he wanted to do it. Just be warned, you may find out more than you ever eanted to know about us. He's REALLY open that way! Enjoy!

Well it is official I have now been upgraded to an every Thursday posting. GO ME!! Thanks to everyone who came by and read all about my views on Blondefabulous. So for my second post I'm going to talk about whatever pops into my head. I've already discussed my oral goddess and how she is the only one who makes my toes curl. I was home sick from work today, actually my entire crew was home sick. Seems very X-Files to me. Nothing serious though sore throat, coughing, and some minor aches but enough to keep me and the crew home. I was treated to rubdowns, small naps and homemade chicken soup. I got to rest all day and after dinner I went to lay back down. Blondie came into check on me and I started feeling frisky. I had already stripped my clothes off. She closed the door and locked it and climbed up in the bed between my legs and proceeded to.....make the world spin faster. WOOOHOOO!! Well after an hour and a half of full on carnal bed quaking ,head board shaking, box spring breaking, drenched in sweat and other bodily fluids we hit the showers. I tell you folks this woman is amazing. What really sucks is she took the kids to Universal on Tuesday and I didn't get to go because of work. Now being unable to go wasn't the crappy part but what was is that I didn't get my handjob on the rides. You gotta love a chick who isn't afraid to be naughty in a public place (now before you go all judgemental we were very discreet and kept it in the pants). You should see us when we get crazy on our webcam. LOL! Whats really good is that our relationship is so open. She doesn't mind when other women check me out, she has even shared me with another woman (I know every mans dream come true) told you she was awesome. So you ladies that read her blog and need a little something something just let her know. LMAO! She does tell me that I have a heavenly TONGUE!! Ok Ok I need to get on a new subject. She will kill me when she finds out I'm giving away all my dirty little secrets. Hint Hint Size 13 shoes and great big hands. So here it is my second post, I know its not as long as my first post but this was kind of sprung on me at the last minute. Well I've been writing for an hour and this is all I've come up with. Guess you can tell who the writer in the family is. That's ok I'm content with being eye candy, a boy toy, a hot piece of ass and her HOT HUNKY HUBBY! Have a great day everyone and be sure to show my oral goddess your love. On a side note I send Lisa over at clusterfook my warmest thoughts and my prays. Keep fighting and never give up. Good bye everyone.

HHH

When Will I Learn???

OK, so the kids and I headed back to Universal today, sans HHH. Some may say that that would be the formula for disaster, but in fact, the day went rather well.

I got everyone up at 6:30am, mostly because I had topped out on my sleeping allowance. (I had been asleep since 6:30 pm the day before.) I told the kids that they needed to get up early because Mommy had checked the weather online and that it had said there would be late afternoon thunderstorms.(Not really a lie. I did check the weather online.) After gathering up everything we needed, (more on what all that was later...), we headed out the door and on to the road. It takes us about an hour, maybe an hour and a half to get to Universal and the traffic gods were with us again this morning. Only bump in the road was a recycling truck whose bales of flat cans had broken open and was scattering cans all over the road. Made for an interesting ride on I-4. We arrived at 8:45am and got decent parking this time. We get everything together, lock up, and go to enjoy the parks.

We started out at IOA. Of course we hit up Seuss Landing first, and that early in the day meant the place was deserted. We were bebopping through there and went on to the Trolley, then we ditched the rhyming town for Marvel Island and SPIDERMAN! W00t! I love the Spiderman ride. I can't wear the 3-d glasses that they give you for the ride without feeling like tossing my cookies, so I end up watching the other riders in my car. Some of the reactions are comical at least, hilarious as hell at best! This one lady almost peed her pants! My kids can't get enough of it! That was another ride that was almost deserted....well, deserted for those of us with Express Passes. OMG I love those little things! So we do the Marvel thing and then back track back to Jurassic Park. On Sunday, I promised all of my kids we would go back to the rock wall climb and they could all take a turn. It's just $5 each, right? No big whoop. Well, my little monkey man gets up there and goes to town. He waited and took on the Difficult path for the climb and after a few sputtering attempts, goes right up there and rings the bell. Morgan does well too. Rebecca....well, she had a bit of trouble. She kept going sideways and not staying on her path. After multiple tries, she finally gets up to the top and rings the bell........and then she looks down! She almost freaked out! The guy was telling her to let go, but she was trying to climb down. It was funny, but does that make me a craptastical mom for laughing at my child? If it does.....I'm in some real trouble!

So then we moved on from Jurassic Park to Toon Lagoon. It was getting hot and we figured it was time to cool off. We got a locker and put away all our valuables and then hit Express line. It was hard to get to, what with all the tourists and tour groups trying to squeeze in, but we got in. And here is where I have to talk about something I hold near and dear to me. My PERSONAL SPACE! It seemed like none of the foreigners that were at the park had any concept of it! Whereas Sunday was Latin American Tour Group Day........Tuesday was European Day. While we were in line for the Bilge Rat Barges there were these Swedish guys behind us. Ugly Swedish guys. CLOSE, ugly, Swedish guys! Eeeeek! They were all up on me like white on rice, and not to cop a feel, or be gross, or whatever...... but they just didn't have any concept of what was MY personal space and what was THEIR personal space. And to top all this off, they were enchanted with the wet women getting off the ride. (The water was VERY cold!) How do you not bust out laughing when you hear 5 guys who sound like the Swedish Chef saying " Boornde, schwornde, schwedesh yurnden... TITS!!!!" Yep. Seems like the only word in English they knew was tits. Glad they got put on a different boat than us, cause I wouldn't want them to have a complete infarction when my rack got wet!! Ha ha ha ha!

We rode the the barges 4 times. We got completely soaked. It was fun! Now what do you do with a dripping wet family of four? Why, you go and change into the dry clothes that SUPER MOMMY packed into the bag!!! Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I am the bomb diggity! This morning I had packed dry goods for everyone, right down to the undies! We trotted off to the Comic Book Cafe and changed in the bathroom there. Now that we were dry, we had some lunch and decided to head over to Universal Studios and hit a few of the rides there. Man, that might have been a mistake. Universal was twice as crowded as IOA. We hit Jimmy Neutron, then caught a Beetlejuice show. While we were in there, it started to cloud up. It was then decided that we were going to hit MIB, Simpsons, and ET and call it a day. MIB was another experience in personal space issues. This time it was German Teens. I was waiting at the free lockers to rent one out, and the girls in front of me started having trouble. The touch screen stopped responding. This was apparently the German teens signal to start pushing forward and smacking their gum in my ear! R-U-D-E! I waited through them rubbing all up on me and chewing gum like a damn cow for about 10 minutes, then I gave up! I wrapped our bag up and put in in the stroller we had rented at the beginning of the day, and in we went. Cut to more German teens behaving badly,(Line cutting, screaming at each other, more gum smacking....), and we get on the ride. Cut to end of the ride and OMG the sky looked like shit. It was black and there was lightning, so we called it a day. We made our way to the exit, confident that we had spent the day immersed in family love, fun, and more love.

Of course the drive home was annoying because I-4 is always clogs up at the least sign of rain! I ended up following a flat bed semi loaded with Bees. Yes, Bees. Hives upon hives of Bees! Don't know where they were going, but the truck made a great blocker for me to follow through the traffic. Eventually we arrived home safe and sound and our day of family fun was ended. It was good to get out with the kids. We hit a lot of the playgrounds in the parks that we usually skip since they are always too crowded on the weekends. Everyone had a great time. I am finally posting at 11:30 at night!

I am having images of the "Close Talker" Sienfeld episode running through my head. Can't figure out why.......

My Feet HURT!!!

Oh yeah! I am feelin' the foot pain this morning! We walked from 9:30 am till 10:40pm. We met up with the BIL and his family around 4:30pm. He didn't get his crew there until late,( because he has a small army!). I was very nice and even offered to take care of my baby niece while the SIL went and enjoyed a ride or two with her husband and kids. That's Junior and I on 1 Fish 2 Fish. He delights in getting me wet on that ride! HHH just runs away saying, "I'm going to hold our bag." and leaves me with three kids who are chomping at the bit to ride! Thanks hon.
The kids love Seuss Landing. We always go there first to start out our day.
Now here is my resident little monkey man, Junior, doing the rock climb. He was absolutely awesome! he made it to the top TWICE! There were a few times he lost his footing, but he had mad arm strength and pulled himself up until he found a foot hold again. He did so well the first time, the guy running the rock climb let him go again for free!
I mean, look at this kid! He is ringing the bell! Other kids that got on the wall after him were having problems keeping a hold of it, but not my boy, no sir! he kicked major butt. Hmmmm.... maybe my kid can be Spiderman after all!
So, all in all, it was a great day. The kids had tons of fun, the fireworks were awesome, and traffic wasn't too bad. One thing I was not happy with was the amount of foreign tour groups that were clogging the parks. I mean, it's ok that these people are trying to have a nice vacation, but the people who run these groups pack as many customers in a tour as possible. These groups were averaging 45 to 70 people at a pop and when they all would go on a ride, or go see a show, the thing would be clogged up for almost an hour trying to get them all in and they didn't understand the concept of no bags/backpacks on some of the rides, and they smelled like they NEVER TOOK A BATH IN THE LAST MONTH!!! What the hell is that all about? I can understand if they don't have a good source of running water where they live in their home country, but here even the crappiest of motels have hot and cold H2O for showers! Use it people!

Oh, and deoderant is not optional either!!!!

Am I Hot Or What?

Well, I think yesterday went well. HHH did a grand job blogging in my place! I never knew I was an "Oral Goddess", before, but if he says so, who am I to argue! We are going to Universal today, so I am doing this post Saturday night and am going to post it before we leave. Now, in keeping with the theme this week, (sex), I was thinking about me. Yeah, pretty selfish I know, but really, unless you are a narcissist, you don't think about yourself very often. For the longest time, I never really gave a thought about me. What I wore, how I did my hair, what make-up I applied...... nope didn't give it a second thought. I had a family to worry about, occasionally a job to attend to and those were my major priorities. What I really thought about my looks would fill up a thimble with room to spare. I didn't think I was "good looking" in any real sense of the word. Short, pudgy almost my entire life, teeth that aren't any sort of perfect due to parents who couldn't afford braces......... nothing to write home about. I always thought my strengths came from within. My sense of loyalty was unshakable once you had earned it. My love was unending if you had won it. My helpful nature was all yours for the asking. I was a "beautiful on the inside" kinda girl.
It's a hard thing, trying to photograph your insides. I tried once. It wasn't pretty. HHH tries to photograph my naughty bits all the time..... and no, those will not be on here. (Sorry hon!) It took HHH badgering me about taking more photos for me to start really taking more photos of me. I never really liked my photos. I always think I look like a parade float in them. But recently, I have noticed I don't look so bad. I have a good smile, laughing eyes, and I might not be as pudgy as I think I am.
I also read a post by on of my blogger friends, Jodi of Pink Tomato. http://www.pinktomatos.blogspot.com/ She wrote about how she is her family's photographer also. (I take all the pictures, too.) She captures holidays, sports, family moments, and she isn't in very many of the pictures. When you think about it, what kind of legacy does this leave your children. When my grandmother died, she left dozens of photo albums, detailing the family history intricately! She was in at least 45% of them too. I know that my Grandmother was a looker because I saw a picture of her and my grandfather when they went out on a date. I know she was a domestic diva because there were countless photos of her in the tiny kitchen in their 3 room house making hearty meals for her 5 children and her husband. I know these facts because she let herself be in photos. Jodi is right. If I don't let myself be photographed, what will my kids show their kids? Yeah I'll be here to see them, but then I'll be and OLD( knock on wood, bang bang!) woman. I want them to know the hottie that got married on the Vegas strip. I want them to remember the girl in high school that was the drum major in a sparkly outfit. I want them to be able to show their children and their children's children who I was.

And then there's the fact that lately, I have gotten a few really nice comments on the few photos of me I have posted on here. Nothing creepy thank goodness, but encouraging enough that I have started to think, maybe I'm not the troll I think I am. I just say, as long as HHH thinks I am a hottie, oral goddess........ who cares right?

The Hubbys Post!!

Just so you all know, HHH is guest posting for me today. In an effort by him to try and understand just what it is I see in this, he is going to dazzle you with his literary prowess. I have no control over this train....... so enjoy the ride! ~B~





Hello all! This is Blondes Hot Chunky Hubby! I decided to get into this blog of hers and do a guest post. Give you a view of my darling wife from my point of view. I will be the first to admit I don't know much about the blogging world but I do know that this makes her happy and if my hottie nympho is happy then so am I. I've known this woman for 8 wonderfully long years and each day is a brand new experience. We have had our ups and downs (boy there have been some downs) but the ups have been so good. She stood by me when no one else would. I know everyone says they have the best wife in the world but I will disagree with them because my wife is at the top of the lists hands down. We start off by talking about our meeting. When we met I was fresh out of the Navy (with a part time job as a male dancer), and I weighed a solid 175 lbs..Hell I was so hot I had a woman pay me for sex but only once. Anyway enough of that back to her. We met when a guy I used to beat up in high school wanted to suck up to me and get me a job. Like I said I was fresh out the Navy and needed the cash so I went down and applied for the shift managers job. Well long story short I got the job and we started workin together. Things were going well and after about 2 weeks of casual flirting, making googoo eyes at each other... Things escalated into hot mind blowing sex...wooohoooo!! Now I know she is gonna hate me for telling everyone this but before we met I was a naughty boy and several women had taken a ride on space mountain, although not one woman had ever succeeded in making me orgasm from oral sex only. Not one ever. Until her. OH MY GOD!! Fast forward to 6 months later and we arrive at my lame proposal of marriage to the Oral Goddess. I went down on one knee and asked for her hand, luckily she said yes. Now I know she has blogged about our failed attempts at getting married and finally the actual wedding in Las Vegas so I will fast forward again to today. I'm sitting across the room from this amazing woman doing my best to give the world an idea as to how much I love her and cherish her and as to what a wonderful person she is. A wise man said several yrs ago that she was the best thing to ever happen to me and I will have to agree because I was on a slippery path when I got out of the service. I was drinking and partying and going crazy I probably would have ended up in prison or worse dead had she not came into my life. Just another thing I'm grateful for. There have been nights when I lay in bed and I will just watch her sleep. How did I get so lucky, what did I do in a previous life to deserve this angel? OK so I guess I haven't done a very good at telling you about her as much as I talked about how good she is to me. See I told all of you I suck at this but none the less I made my attempts and I thank you for allowing me to step in and speak my mind. And to my wonderful wife, my Oral Goddess, my hottie nympho, I LOVE YOU BABY AND I ALWAYS WILL!!!

This One Time, At Band Camp....

OK, I am a confessed band geek. (Married to a hunky jock!)I have played an instrument ever since I was 10 years old. I began to play classical flute in the 5th grade, and all through out high school and college. In high school, I also began to play percussion, mainly mallet and auxiliary percussion, not as classy, but it was a more valued part of the band.

Now in all this time, I never had any problems when I was marching. Never was ran over in parades, never had an equipment malfunction, in fact the closest I ever came to having a serious problem in band was when I was at my first UF away game to Tennessee for the UF vs. UT game at Death Valley. After the game, myself and the other two female mallet players had gone back to our tour bus to change before the rest of the guys got back. (It was college, remember? Guys were horn dogs!) Whilst we were in a state of change, we see that the crowds are starting to filter past where we have the buses parked. Rowdy crowds. REALLY rowdy crowds! See,.... we had just lost the game 45-3, and they were liberally downing alcoholic drinks in celebration. We had closed the doors behind us when we got on, but they were still unlocked so everyone else from FDL could get on. Suddenly, I look up and see the doors open, and these two HUGE dudes carrying drinks stagger on to the bus!! I am talking majorly drunk, up to no good guys. The first one licks his lips turns to his friend and drawls out, "Lookie here..... what have we got to ourselves, heh heh heh." I turned cold, really cold. One of the girls ran to the lavatory and locked herself in it first thing, leaving myself and the other girl out in the open. (Thanks hon. Appreciate it!) Thoughts are reeling through my mind at 90 miles an hour. Thoughts like, will anyone hear us if we scream with all that racket going on outside the bus, am I really going to become a freshman statistic on my first away game, can I fight back..... on and on and on. As jackass number 1 starts down the aisle,something in me snaps. Oh hell no, I don't think so! Not this little blond girl! (I like to think this is when I began to be blond and fabulous!) I turned and stared daggers at the two yokels and at the top of my lungs hollered, "WHO THE HELL ARE YOU, WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT, AND WHY THE HELL ARE YOU ON OUR BUS???" This surprised the first guy who stopped dead in his tracks and the other guy smacked into his back. While I was saying that, I had been stomping towards them. Apparently, an assertive woman was a surprise to these two Neanderthals, as they were now speechless. I had no idea what I was going to do next, but luckily I didn't have to come up with another plan because the guys from the percussion section finally showed up back at the bus and the two biggest drummers snatched Cleedus and Bubba off the bus and proceeded to beat the shit outta them. I breathed a sigh of relief and started shaking. I had to sit down. I almost threw up. I didn't feel fabulous. I was seriously relieved that the girls and I were alright. This was the closest I had ever gotten to being really hurt in band. I thought I was lucky, because most times you don't get hurt in band, unless the bus you're riding on wrecks, or you get heat stroke from being out in the sun too long. Then I saw this on CNN.

http://tinyurl.com/6m9w85

OMG! There was a ceremonial changing of command at a military base in Kansas and the guy they hired to parachute in to the ceremony HIT THE BAND THAT WAS PLAYING!!! The guy took out two Sousaphones, a total of 4 guys, and oh my God.... being a musician is dangerous now. One of the guys who was hit has a broken jaw, anther has a broken leg..... oh and the skydiver? He's OK. yep just a twisted ankle. WTF is that crap! Go watch the video.... I wince every time they run it on CNN.

I guess football players aren't the only ones who can be hurt on the field anymore...

Sometimes The World Can Just Freakin' SUCK!

Yeah, it can really be a bitch sometimes. A freakin' PMS bitch on 'roids! If you have kept up with my blog, you know that I and my family am no strangers to life having the option to put teethmarks in your ass. We have had devastating job loss, homelessness, shut offs, you name it. Hell, even family has been a bitch to us even when we needed help the most! Here are a few examples I have found from yesterday..... There was a single engine airplane crash at the airport yesterday. 6 Minutes after requesting clearance to take off, the plane clipped a tower and crashed into a fiery ball on the grass. No one survived. What really gets me is that this was an Angel Flight. The pilot was an 81 year old man who donated his time, plane, and the gas(that must cost alot!) to fly sick people to the doctors they so desperately need! The passengers were a woman in her 40's and a 15 year old boy. The woman had just endured a gruelling round of chemotherapy at a local hospital and she and the teen were on their way back home to their family.
Or how about this? Abby Wambach, soccer star and Olympic athlete, had her dreams of a gold medal in China completely dashed yesterday when, during a game with Brazil, she violently collided with another player and totally broke her leg! She broke both the tibia and fibula. Snapped. Clean through. The medical staff for Team USA are saying it will take 12 weeks to heal, and the Olympics are in 3 weeks. How much of a bitch is it to break your leg during the final tune up game before you go to represent your nation? Apparently a huge one. Abby was the leading scorer for Team USA too. The other players will have to step it up to make up for the loss to the team, but no one can make up for the loss of the chance to compete for Abby.
Or how about this..... One of the bloggers I very much admire has a crushing blow dealt to her yesterday. Lisa from Clusterfook http://clusterfook.com/ has cancer. And not just your run of the mill cancer....noooooooooo she has fuck you, it has come back 3 times, nobody knows what the hell this shit is cancer. At the beginning of this week, we from the blogosphere were sending all our good thoughts and Karma her way because she was having a CT scan done and going in for a 3rd round of chemo. It didn't work. The cancer has gotten worse. The doctor stopped treatment. Fuckity fuck! This is a woman who has already been through the wringer twice before, and now this shit? Like I said, it sucks. She has 2 beautiful children who are in danger of losing their mother, a husband who is in danger of losing his wife, family who is in danger of losing someone special. I want to do something, to be able to say something besides,"I'm sorry.", but I don't have any words that can make it better, no magic pill that will cure everything. I just have hopes and wishes and my Karma that I am currently trying to send her way along with the rest of the bloggers who know her. I just discovered this wonderful person, and it isn't fair that she is having this happen to her. Ahhhhh, but there in lies the rub. The world is not fair. The world is one big bitch that will get you if you aren't looking. so make sure you keep an eye out for her.

If you have a few minutes, check out Clusterfook. http://clusterfook.com/ Read back a little like I did. You'll see a wonderful person, a great mom,.... a human being. Then, if you can, there is a link on the left for donations. Let's help out someone who needs it. Lets show the world that we can be there for each other, no matter how much of a bitch she can be!

O.M.F.G.

Holy Crap! have you seen this? I was blown away when I saw this on CNN! I have been to this beach and swam in it's waters, and seeing this just freaks me the heck out. Now, I am a Florida girl, born and raised. I have been swimming in these waters since I was a child. I can particularly remember going to the beach one summer weekend with one of my best friends from high school, Gloria. A slight, shrinking girl who did not know how to swim very well. I told her that it was a breeze to swim in the ocean. I educated her about rip currents, rogue waves, swimming near life guard stations, the basics, and off we went. Only after we were in the water did she ask me about marine animals, namely sharks. I didn't think about sharks much. I knew that that close to shore the beasties would be following bait fish through the surf, but the chance of them actively stalking a hapless swimmer through the waves was just Hollywood nonsense. I voiced this to Gloria and we went about splashing and trying to attract the eye of the tanned surfers that were showing off just down the waves. Then.....I saw it. A dark shape in the water, riding the wave like Moondoggie being cheered on by Gidget. No, not a shark, but a HUGE stingray!!! By huge I mean that even distorted by the water, the wing span of this behemoth was at least 6 feet! Of course, Gloria screams bloody murder because, with the trajectory of the wave, the stingray is coming RIGHT FOR US!! Then out of the corner of my eye, I see one of the surfers angle his board in our direction. He ditches off of the wave he was riding and heaves his board skyward, where it lands between us and the stingray! The surfboard knifes into the water and startles the ray, which turns on a graceful dime and heads back out into deeper water. Sighs of relief ensue and both Gloria and I decide to work on our tans for the rest of the afternoon. We thank the random surfer that happened to notice our plight, and head back to the safety of sand and sun.
So I see this photo and the others like it and ask myself, "Self, is this going to make you not want to go to the beach anymore?" and I say back in my sassiest of tones, "Hell naw! I am a Florida girl and we are just neighbors to these animals. Respect is the key." It still makes me wonder what the girl in the photo said to herself when she saw it.

ZOMGWTFIT!!!! comes to mind......

More Sex..... But Fuzzier This Time.

You have all met my cat, Fluffawuffagus, right? The giant hairball that thinks he's a dog? Yeah, him. Well, last night I was watching TV and keeping up with Twitter and the damn cat just will not leave me alone! I figure he was pissed that I left him with the dog all weekend, but no..... the damn thing is horny! There has been a female cat prancing around the the front yard for about a week now and I think she has caught the attention of good ole Fluffy.

So, last night I am just nonchalantly watching TV, HHH was IM-ing his brother on the computer, and then suddenly Fluffy jumps up on the back of the couch. OK, no biggie. Then he decides he wants to be a lap kitty. Still OK. The he decides to bite me and try to get it on! WTF??? Cat got tossed across the room! I guess he was trying to tell me he wants to go outside and make nookie with his new fan, but man, find a different way to do it! Ewwwwww! Funny thing is, he's fixed. Been fixed since he was less than a year old. He has no ideas what sex is, but he just KNOWS he has to go outside and meet this girl cat! I bet she'll kick his ass if I do let him go out..... hmmmmm...... maybe I will let him out when it stops raining!

As for sex in the human world, I didn't get any last night. HHH and I were just a little off. I wanted a nooner, and he waited till 11:37pm to get in the mood. Didn't make for a night of sweaty passion, but everyone needs a night off once in a while, I guess. He was entertained with what I had written yesterday. After reading it, he said, "But you still didn't talk about our sex life! You just talked about why you don't talk about our sex life!". Ha ha, sorry honey.... like I said, no one needs to know just how much of a freak I am! I'll just leave it at I have a very active love life and that's that!

On the non-sexual front, I have been seriously enjoying the Woopra that I finally got installed on here. I finally can see how many hits/visits I get and can talk to the people who go to Blondefabulocity. Funny thing is, not many people want to chat. They just want to remain shadowy lurkers, reading posts in relative anonymity. C'mon people! Tell me what you like or dislike! I need feed back to make my site better, more enjoyable. You know you want to talk to me! TALK TO ME!!!!!!

OK, desperation over. Man I have got to get out more often. Human interaction is good! I hope to be getting out of the house soon. I applied for a few jobs in Orlando online and maybe I'll hear back soon. If HHH is having no luck, I have to start trying. He can stay home and be Mr. Mom, no matter how much he hates it!

I just hope he can cook like me!

No, Honey, I Am Not Posting About Our Sex Life...

I know I have mentioned before that I am married to a hot, younger man. He is referred to as HHH on here. He sexy, oh so sexy, and still in is 20's! Yes, I am robbing the cradle, thank you very much! Your applause is greatly appreciated!

He is great. It's nice to have a man who is obsessed with sex around the house. Now that I am arriving at that point in my life where my sex drive has kicked in to high gear, having a man who can oblige me is VERY convenient. And, oh, does he have energy and imagination! One thing he does not get into,.... is my blogging. He has no clue why I do it. I try to explain that it's cheaper than therapy, I get interaction with people I admire, IT'S CHEAPER THAN THERAPY!, but he just nods, says, "that's nice dear." and goes about his merry way. Until recently, he hadn't even read my blog..... but now he does, and there in lies the rub I find myself in. He asked me why I don't blog more about our sex life.

I blog just about everything. I blogged our kids in school, my Mom being a fucktard, our becoming homeless, our becoming even MORE homeless, my illnesses, my kids diabetes, doctors, awards, bikes.......you name it. I even blog funny or outrageous crap I see on the Internet or TV,(and we all know there is tons of funny shit on TV.). But when it comes to my sex life, I have always taken a "less is more" kind of approach

He just doesn't get the fact that I don't want everyone to know what a freak I am. Yep, bonafide freak, right here! I like sex. Hell I love sex. I divorced someone because they told me that they only wanted sex maybe twice a month! If I could have an entire weekend of nothing but wild, hang from the light fixtures sex I would. Hell, I was being naughty with HHH at Universal on the Cat In The Hat ride. ( I was feelin' up his lap bar!) I just am a little tactful when it comes to writing about it. And when I say I am a freak, I'm not just talking about weird positions,..... I am talking full on, toys, clothing, lotions, and other such things. HHH, at one point in time, worked for a hot shop(code: Sex Shop), in Memphis, and I loved his employee discount! I had whips, costumes, toys, you name it! It was soooooo cool. And having a man who would liberally use these implements of pleasure on me was even more cool! So, it's not that there is anything to write about, just that I don't write about it often. Usually, when I do mention our sex life, it's in hushed tones with.......ahem......uh.....cough.....stuff like that. HHH thinks I should give up all the juicy details. He wants me to be more straight forward, more open. This from a man that screams at me, "Why the hell did you blog about THAT!?!", when I blogged about our troubles earlier this year. So, if I were to go by his rules, I can blog about our sex life all I want, but I cannot blog about the rest of our life. Not. At. All. Doesn't make sense to me either.

So now, I am wondering if I am holding back a little so that you, my readers, don't think I am weird, or strange, or something even worse. Or maybe I am enjoying a great thing at home and don't want a line at my front door......either way, HHH is a hot piece of ass that I enjoy on a nightly basis, and maybe.....if I get really inspired, I'll tell you about it........someday!

Snap Back To Reality, Oh There Goes Gravity...

Well, yesterday was a big, fat dose of reality after a weekend of fun and frolic. Nothing like spending 3 days in a world of make believe to make your real life seem like complete poop. The house was trashed from a weekend of me not being there to clean it, I had to catch up on the laundry and get it hung out on the line, and there were dishes that needed to get done. Also, the ants I blogged about before JUST WON'T DIE!!!!! I am so tired of these things! Bug spray only gets rid of them for a day or two and they are just coming out of the woodwork, literally! I get the bathroom sprayed down, vacuumed up, and back in order and I go out to the clothes line to hang out the wash.
The laundry is something else that bothers me. The out building for this house has washer/dryer hookup's, but they do not work. I have my washer in the kitchen with a water hose from outside hooked up to it coming in from the window. It is a very rigged up sort of situation. There is no where to hook up the dryer, so I have a copious amount of clothes line hooked up between the house and a large wooden post. Well yesterday, as I am putting the clothes on the line, one of them breaks and everything on that line goes down for the count. Great. Now I gotta wash them again. Then I look over, and there is an ant trail leading to the house on one of the other lines. I just can't win! So I'm standing there, clothes on the ground, ants trotting merrily to my house on my clothesline, and I just lose it. I'm now officially 36 years old, I live in a town so small there are no available jobs, HHH hasn't gotten anything back on his resumes he's been handing out online, and my house is falling apart due to bugs and age. Nothing like a breakdown outside where the neighbors can see it! Whoo hoo! I went back inside and finished off my little "break down" in there. HHH had cleaned up the kitchen for me, and the kids had taken care of their rooms and the living room for me. I sighed and hoped it would get better. It has to get better. We have already been on the bottom of the barrel. We have already been homeless, broke, ill, etc.... There has to be an up escalator around here somewhere, right? God, I hope so!

Then, as I was surfing the web, I saw this woman on CNN.com. This woman is 80 years old, and still stripping. Not the shake your moneymaker kind of stripping, but burlesque. Stripping in it's most artistic form. Now If I am feeling old, that must just be my fault, because this just goes to prove you're only as old as you feel.

I wanna look this good when I am 80! A little wrinkly, but still in shape.

A Weekend Recap.

Alright people! Here's a recap of the weekend! If you were following me on Twitter, I kinda kept everyone updated on what we were doing, what was going on, and where we were. From HHH feeling like he got food poisoning, to the rain, to the gigantic thunderstorm last night..... I twittered it all, and HHH thought I was a big fat dork for doing it! (He just doesn't get it.)
One thing I didn't twitter was the indulgence of my coffee habit at Starbucks. OMG! I live in BFE, so to get good coffee, I have to wait until we are going somewhere that has a Starbucks, or a Dunkin Donuts. This is strange because up until a year ago.....I HATED COFFEE! Hated. It. I couldn't stand the smell, it was way too bitter, and no amount of sugar, cream, milk, you name it could make me even entertain the idea of drinking it. Then, we started to have all the problems I have been blogging about. The moving from Memphis, the not being able to find a place, my parents saying they'll help then turning their backs on us, job loss, etc..... I was down in the dumps one day and as I passed a DD, I thought about that commercial they had playing on TV...."Treat yourself to a Frappaccino...." So I did. A chocolate one. The coffee taste was strong, bitter,...... but I didn't mind. It was something affordable I could treat myself to. It wouldn't break the bank to have one occasionally. Then, I tried one from Starbucks. O. M. G. That was heaven! The coffee was stronger, there was whipped cream and drizzled chocolate, I had to learn words like Venti, and Grande! I felt so pretentious just being there. So now, I have a small habit that I so indulged in Orlando this weekend. I indulged "other" things too....

I don't know what it was, but I was feeling frisky as a teenager yesterday. Not at all like a 36 year old mother of 3. We made our way over to IOA and started out at Seuss Landing like always.... and on the Cat In The Hat ride...... um...... I was being naughty with HHH. Not the smoochy, necking kind of naughty, because with the spinning whipping motion of that ride you'd knock each others teeth out, but the groping, touchy feely kinda naughty! Heh heh, HHH was in heaven! Awwww c'mon! You know you've all done it! Then we went and did it again on Spiderman! Naughty, yes I know. But I was on vacation......

We also got galaxy defender almost every single time we went on Men In Black. Last night, towards the end of the night, we were going on MIB and every time we went through, something was malfunctioning. First time was one of the monster areas where monsters are supposed to pop up, then was the end where Will Smith tells you your scores, last was the part before the end where Will Smith is on a Jumbo Screen in the faux Times Square....... We decided to forgo a 4th trip. With our luck, the entire ride would have stopped and we'd have been stuck in there. We decided to see the last Beetlejuice show instead.

Oh and that was an experience, let me tell you. The Sunday crew for that show was the dregs of the talent pool apparently. The guy playing Beetlejuice was a fat, uncoordinated mess! At the beginning he goes out into the audience and warms up the crowd, and this guy couldn't even ad lib a joke or two beyond the scripted stuff. It was just kinda sad. Then, in the middle of the show, I see this flashing light beyond the stage set. I lean over to HHH and ask, "Is that heat lightning?" He leans back to me and says, "No that's lightning lightning!" As if to punctuate his sentence, A huge strike of lightning hits and the subsequent boom of thunder that followed separated the Floridians from the tourists. The tourists jumped out of their seats, us Floridians just sat and said, "Oh that was a good one." The funny thing was, it started to rain right as the show was playing, "It's Raining Men". After the show was over, the storm was hitting pretty hard and there was hail. The ushers told everyone to stay put till the worst was past and we could leave without getting fried by the lightning. It was about 20 minutes and then the storm passed. We decided to leave the park all together and not stay for the fireworks and laser show.


So, all in all, I had a good weekend. From Brendan, to the fireworks, it was a cool time! Hopefully we'll get to do it next year too......Oh Brendan......

My Birthday-Day Two.

Well, if you have been following on Twitter.... today was a day of ups and downs. First off, HHH was sick. Not just cough cough, hack, sneeze sick, but "Oh my God! What did I eat that is trying to kill me!" kind of sick. I tried to cut the trip short, but he wouldn't let me. He convinced me that he just needed some fresh air and some cold water and he'd be better. OK. No Problem. We went to the park and started in Seuss land like we always do. Then we went to the Sinbad show. It was so cute. There was a guy who had gone ahead and made a deal with the show admin..... he had his girlfriend picked out of the audience during pre-show, and towards the end of the warm up, he stopped and asked her to marry him. All together now......."Awwwwwwww!"
That's her saying yes.
While at Sinbad, the rains came. It rained and rained and rained some more. When it finally stopped, we decided to go back over to Universal. We hit the BeetleJuice show a few times and the kids got to get his autograph!

We stayed for the fireworks show they were having. I turned to HHH and said, "Oh look! A pair of HUGE blue balls!" He didn't see my humor in that joke. Oh well. It was a good presentation, showcasing many of Universal's top movies of all time. We had a good vantage point to watch it. We decided to drive home tonight, because I needed my bed. The one at the hotel was really hard. And there were a bunch of kids staying in the room next to ours that sounded like they were either having group sex or a murder. Either way, my kids didn't need to hear it!. We'll drive back tomorrow for the last day of my birthday celebration!

I SAW BRENDAN!!!!!!!

Well, we got to see Brendan Fraser .......Finally! Whew! The traffic Gods were with me as we zoomed down the interstate towards Universal! And after killing time becoming Galaxy Defenders twice in a row, we went over to watch the Beetlejuice show and then it was time for the show to start. First, they did a little preview of how the movie was made on a big jumbotron screen and then a guy came out and started throwing t-shirts to the crowd. He also was doing a trivia quiz and when people answered correctly, they got a prize pack!
Then........BRENDAN CAME OUT!!! Whoo hoo! He looked soooo fine!! he was all joking and funny. He really seemed to be excited about plugging the movie! He even slipped in a plug for the "Journey To The Center Of The Earth", although I don't think he was supposed to!
This was the guy who won the trip for two to the movie premier in Hollywood! HHH and I entered for it, but didn't win.
Isn't he such the hottie. He even had a Q & A with the audience. So nice!
And here we have the chair. The chair that became a BIG problem for me after Brendan left the stage. See, after he left, there was that guy again who was throwing t-shirts. The t-shirt guy got on stage and threw out more shirts. Then he left the stage and everyone started to leave. No big. I wanted to go up to the front before we left and take a picture of this chair for my blog, right. Well, Rebecca and I got up there and I took the picture...... and then the t-shirt guy's minions came back with a whole case of t-shirts!! Everyone who had turned to leave now turned BACK around and trampled/crushed us! I was blocking for my daughter and ended up losing my breath and couldn't breathe!

I went down on one knee, and tried to take some deep breaths, but I was getting woozy and Rebecca was trying to fan me.... Finally, the people started to back off, but I still couldn't breathe and still felt dizzy, so a REALLY nice guy from the promotions department came over and helped me to my unsteady feet and over to where they were staging a med station, and got me a bottle of water and somewhere to sit that was air conditioned. And the best part of it was.........BRENDAN WAS BACK THERE!!!! Yeah...he was back there but I didn't get to see/talk to him. He had "people" surrounding him. I wonder if he got to go have fun in the park? Probably not. He'd get mobbed.
This is me driving to the park!
This is the Mummy Car they had out by the stage area.Here is some of the pre-show clips they were showing.
That's Brendan and t-shirt guy on the jumbotron. Brendan was just yummy!!!

Once again,.......yummy! It was a good time. Eventually, I started feeling better and I met up with HHH in the gift shop(he had taken the two little ones to the arcade while Rebecca and I were out in the crowd.), and we went about our merry way and went to ride the Simpsons(which totally was banging into the wall of the ride.) Then there was a HUGE lightning storm and we decided to leave. Unfortunately..... so did everyone else, and seeing as how it was 5pm in Orlando, I-4 was a complete parking lot.......in the rain....... and the lightning. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeee! Still, I had a great time, and we have two more days to enjoy! More later!

Friday Photo Fun Fest!

This is the Friday photo .........for now. Until I get to the park and snap a few of Brendan.

I SEE YOU!

Yes.

I can.

I have Woopra now. I have it installed properly and I am looking in at who comes to my blog. No worries though....I won't become one of those "stalker" kind of people who pops up every 5 minutes to ask you how you experience is going and if there is anything I can do for you...... I don't think I am that desperate.

Have I mentioned that I am going to go see Brendan Fraser tomorrow? Oh. I have? Well, just in case you missed it.... He's going to be at Universal Studios Orlando tomorrow at 2pm to plug his new Mummy movie coming out soon. I'm sure there are a lot of places he would like to be, but I'm glad his contract includes a stop here in hot, muggy Florida!! The kids are going to bring our DS with us to the park because there is supposed to be a wireless connection to a DS hub and you can play the new video game that is coming out with the movie. Cool right? I thought so. I hope it stays nice out there weather wise. Being as I was raised in Florida, I am used to the summer cycle of unbearable humidity in the mornings and rain showers in the afternoon. It was just how it was..... My kids are starting to learn this weather pattern now that we are back in Florida. In Memphis, the rain was a bit hit or miss, and we got the bulk of it in the winter/spring.(you know, tornado season) Made for a dreary winter, it did. I digress though, ...

I am not what you would call a "techie" sort of person, so for me to get this going is a big deal. Karl over at Secondhand Tryptophan had offered to help me get it installed the last time I had lamented on Twitter that I couldn't get it right. (Thanks Karl!) I figured I should give it one more try by myself before calling in the cavalry and what do ya know? The third time was the charm!

So now I can see you, all you lurkers! I can even chat with you if i happen to be looking at my stats while you pop on!

Don't be alarmed.... that pop up box is just me saying hi!

Brendan, Brendan, Brendan, Brendan,......

Have I mentioned I am going to see Brendan on Friday?? No? Oh my, how could I have forgotten!

Mmmmmmmmmmm..... such the hottie!

Yeah, this was a completely pointless blog post, But I just like looking at the man!