Tuesday, July 29, 2008
See you soon.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
MY BOOBS ARE HUGE!
Not run of the mill, large breasted, well endowed huge, but OMG they were already a 40 D and not in my premenstrual state huge, but holy mother of God how am I going to put on any of my shirts huge! Ugh. So I am sick, and I am so trying to ignore it. It isn't working though. I feel icky! Thanks again honey!
Anyway, back to my boobs. They are ginormous. I must have went up 2 cup sizes in the span of a day and a half. HHH has been hypnotized by them. I bet if I asked him with my boobs to rob a bank and go get me 50 frapaccino's he would right now.... as long as he got to rub my boobs. This is a new occurrence for me. I didn't start having this happen until about 2 years ago. Right about when my Celiac's started coming to the forefront, I started having heavy menstrual cycles. REALLY heavy. Also I started having hot flashes. Now this was when I was 34, so I wasn't thinking anything about nature trying to make an early exit on me. Hell, I didn't think I would even be in that arena till I was in my 40's considering that my Mom didn't start her change until she was 45. I thought I had time, I thought I was OK for a few more years.
Nope. When I put my symptoms down for a nurse friend and coworker of mine, she took one look and said, "Oh! You must be peri-menopausal!" WTF?!? Who he hell are you calling peri-menopausal? Not me! But oh yes, it was me. I was sweating like a whore in church at all kinds of odd times! I was bleeding like a stuck hog at that time of the month. MY BOOBS WERE INFLATING TO UTTERLY FLABERGASTICAL SIZE! What was that fresh hell? Nobody mentioned to me that when I entered the period before my period would stop on me that my BOOBS would go completely haywire! So I am sitting here, sick, inflated, whining about my tata's while HHH is sitting next to me DROOLING over my BOOBS and trying his damndest to get me in the sack so he can get his hands on my massive mammaries! Of course, after his last two posts, what did you expect?
I oughta let him suffer, and shake my jubblies in front of him unmercifully but not let him touch..... it would remind him of his days bouncing at a tittie bar!
Blogger is acting like it smoked some bad crack, so if this looks weird, it ain't me, OK? I still don't feel well and can't seem to string two thoughts together so here goes....
HHH GOT A REAL JOB! Yes people he sure did! Finally, after almost 8 months of searching and interviewing and worrying, he finally got a job. It is for a Temp agency that supplies people for Apartment Complexes who need someone for a few months here and a few months there. It is also for twice what he has been making working for our landlord. I have been thinking about our landlord and he is almost a slaver the way he works his people. He pays them next to nothing and if you become behind on the rent or your car payments, he say, "You can come work for me." andthen works the person to death. not nice really.
ALL MY KIDS ARE SICK. Dang HHH for bringing the pestilence home! Now we all have it. Rebecca is the latest victim of the fever and sniffles. I had to give her some Tylenol last night so she could get comfy and fall asleep. I hope this crap will be gone soon!
MY HUSBAND IS A HORN DOG! But I knew this when I married him. It was one of the things that attracted me to him. That and his smokin' hot bod! Of course now that he writes for me on Thirsdays, you all know that he's a horn dog, so this isn't big news.
MY ELDEST DAUGHTER WANTS TO WORK AT UNIVERSAL. Yep. She wants to be in the Beetlejuice show as either the Bride of Frankenstein or Hip and Hop. I think it's great that she has things that she wants to do in life. This brings the count up to 7 different things she wants to do when she grows up. Surfer, veterinarian, Massage Therapist, Olympic Softball Player, Singer, Dancer, and now Theme Park Entertainer. My other daughter just wants to be a wrestling diva on the WWE. I am a proud mother.
I'm tired and I need a nap, but I have laundry and dishes to get done. However, the "Producers" is playing in the DVD player, (Lane/Broderick version), and I may just veg on the couch for a moment or two
Saturday, July 26, 2008
|You Are An Attention Seeker|
You love the spotlight, but only when it's well deserved. You'd hate to be known for the wrong thing.
And you also don't mind sharing the spotlight. You can easily give someone else credit or a complement.
You know there's enough attention to go around, and it makes you happy when your friends shine.
You come across as: Friendly and interesting
People may wrongly think you're: A little more modest than you actually are!
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Well it is official I have now been upgraded to an every Thursday posting. GO ME!! Thanks to everyone who came by and read all about my views on Blondefabulous. So for my second post I'm going to talk about whatever pops into my head. I've already discussed my oral goddess and how she is the only one who makes my toes curl. I was home sick from work today, actually my entire crew was home sick. Seems very X-Files to me. Nothing serious though sore throat, coughing, and some minor aches but enough to keep me and the crew home. I was treated to rubdowns, small naps and homemade chicken soup. I got to rest all day and after dinner I went to lay back down. Blondie came into check on me and I started feeling frisky. I had already stripped my clothes off. She closed the door and locked it and climbed up in the bed between my legs and proceeded to.....make the world spin faster. WOOOHOOO!! Well after an hour and a half of full on carnal bed quaking ,head board shaking, box spring breaking, drenched in sweat and other bodily fluids we hit the showers. I tell you folks this woman is amazing. What really sucks is she took the kids to Universal on Tuesday and I didn't get to go because of work. Now being unable to go wasn't the crappy part but what was is that I didn't get my handjob on the rides. You gotta love a chick who isn't afraid to be naughty in a public place (now before you go all judgemental we were very discreet and kept it in the pants). You should see us when we get crazy on our webcam. LOL! Whats really good is that our relationship is so open. She doesn't mind when other women check me out, she has even shared me with another woman (I know every mans dream come true) told you she was awesome. So you ladies that read her blog and need a little something something just let her know. LMAO! She does tell me that I have a heavenly TONGUE!! Ok Ok I need to get on a new subject. She will kill me when she finds out I'm giving away all my dirty little secrets. Hint Hint Size 13 shoes and great big hands. So here it is my second post, I know its not as long as my first post but this was kind of sprung on me at the last minute. Well I've been writing for an hour and this is all I've come up with. Guess you can tell who the writer in the family is. That's ok I'm content with being eye candy, a boy toy, a hot piece of ass and her HOT HUNKY HUBBY! Have a great day everyone and be sure to show my oral goddess your love. On a side note I send Lisa over at clusterfook my warmest thoughts and my prays. Keep fighting and never give up. Good bye everyone.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Monday, July 21, 2008
The kids love Seuss Landing. We always go there first to start out our day.
Now here is my resident little monkey man, Junior, doing the rock climb. He was absolutely awesome! he made it to the top TWICE! There were a few times he lost his footing, but he had mad arm strength and pulled himself up until he found a foot hold again. He did so well the first time, the guy running the rock climb let him go again for free!
I mean, look at this kid! He is ringing the bell! Other kids that got on the wall after him were having problems keeping a hold of it, but not my boy, no sir! he kicked major butt. Hmmmm.... maybe my kid can be Spiderman after all!
So, all in all, it was a great day. The kids had tons of fun, the fireworks were awesome, and traffic wasn't too bad. One thing I was not happy with was the amount of foreign tour groups that were clogging the parks. I mean, it's ok that these people are trying to have a nice vacation, but the people who run these groups pack as many customers in a tour as possible. These groups were averaging 45 to 70 people at a pop and when they all would go on a ride, or go see a show, the thing would be clogged up for almost an hour trying to get them all in and they didn't understand the concept of no bags/backpacks on some of the rides, and they smelled like they NEVER TOOK A BATH IN THE LAST MONTH!!! What the hell is that all about? I can understand if they don't have a good source of running water where they live in their home country, but here even the crappiest of motels have hot and cold H2O for showers! Use it people!
Oh, and deoderant is not optional either!!!!
Saturday, July 19, 2008
It's a hard thing, trying to photograph your insides. I tried once. It wasn't pretty. HHH tries to photograph my naughty bits all the time..... and no, those will not be on here. (Sorry hon!) It took HHH badgering me about taking more photos for me to start really taking more photos of me. I never really liked my photos. I always think I look like a parade float in them. But recently, I have noticed I don't look so bad. I have a good smile, laughing eyes, and I might not be as pudgy as I think I am.
I also read a post by on of my blogger friends, Jodi of Pink Tomato. http://www.pinktomatos.blogspot.com/ She wrote about how she is her family's photographer also. (I take all the pictures, too.) She captures holidays, sports, family moments, and she isn't in very many of the pictures. When you think about it, what kind of legacy does this leave your children. When my grandmother died, she left dozens of photo albums, detailing the family history intricately! She was in at least 45% of them too. I know that my Grandmother was a looker because I saw a picture of her and my grandfather when they went out on a date. I know she was a domestic diva because there were countless photos of her in the tiny kitchen in their 3 room house making hearty meals for her 5 children and her husband. I know these facts because she let herself be in photos. Jodi is right. If I don't let myself be photographed, what will my kids show their kids? Yeah I'll be here to see them, but then I'll be and OLD( knock on wood, bang bang!) woman. I want them to know the hottie that got married on the Vegas strip. I want them to remember the girl in high school that was the drum major in a sparkly outfit. I want them to be able to show their children and their children's children who I was.
Friday, July 18, 2008
Hello all! This is Blondes Hot Chunky Hubby! I decided to get into this blog of hers and do a guest post. Give you a view of my darling wife from my point of view. I will be the first to admit I don't know much about the blogging world but I do know that this makes her happy and if my hottie nympho is happy then so am I. I've known this woman for 8 wonderfully long years and each day is a brand new experience. We have had our ups and downs (boy there have been some downs) but the ups have been so good. She stood by me when no one else would. I know everyone says they have the best wife in the world but I will disagree with them because my wife is at the top of the lists hands down. We start off by talking about our meeting. When we met I was fresh out of the Navy (with a part time job as a male dancer), and I weighed a solid 175 lbs..Hell I was so hot I had a woman pay me for sex but only once. Anyway enough of that back to her. We met when a guy I used to beat up in high school wanted to suck up to me and get me a job. Like I said I was fresh out the Navy and needed the cash so I went down and applied for the shift managers job. Well long story short I got the job and we started workin together. Things were going well and after about 2 weeks of casual flirting, making googoo eyes at each other... Things escalated into hot mind blowing sex...wooohoooo!! Now I know she is gonna hate me for telling everyone this but before we met I was a naughty boy and several women had taken a ride on space mountain, although not one woman had ever succeeded in making me orgasm from oral sex only. Not one ever. Until her. OH MY GOD!! Fast forward to 6 months later and we arrive at my lame proposal of marriage to the Oral Goddess. I went down on one knee and asked for her hand, luckily she said yes. Now I know she has blogged about our failed attempts at getting married and finally the actual wedding in Las Vegas so I will fast forward again to today. I'm sitting across the room from this amazing woman doing my best to give the world an idea as to how much I love her and cherish her and as to what a wonderful person she is. A wise man said several yrs ago that she was the best thing to ever happen to me and I will have to agree because I was on a slippery path when I got out of the service. I was drinking and partying and going crazy I probably would have ended up in prison or worse dead had she not came into my life. Just another thing I'm grateful for. There have been nights when I lay in bed and I will just watch her sleep. How did I get so lucky, what did I do in a previous life to deserve this angel? OK so I guess I haven't done a very good at telling you about her as much as I talked about how good she is to me. See I told all of you I suck at this but none the less I made my attempts and I thank you for allowing me to step in and speak my mind. And to my wonderful wife, my Oral Goddess, my hottie nympho, I LOVE YOU BABY AND I ALWAYS WILL!!!
Or how about this? Abby Wambach, soccer star and Olympic athlete, had her dreams of a gold medal in China completely dashed yesterday when, during a game with Brazil, she violently collided with another player and totally broke her leg! She broke both the tibia and fibula. Snapped. Clean through. The medical staff for Team USA are saying it will take 12 weeks to heal, and the Olympics are in 3 weeks. How much of a bitch is it to break your leg during the final tune up game before you go to represent your nation? Apparently a huge one. Abby was the leading scorer for Team USA too. The other players will have to step it up to make up for the loss to the team, but no one can make up for the loss of the chance to compete for Abby.
Or how about this..... One of the bloggers I very much admire has a crushing blow dealt to her yesterday. Lisa from Clusterfook http://clusterfook.com/ has cancer. And not just your run of the mill cancer....noooooooooo she has fuck you, it has come back 3 times, nobody knows what the hell this shit is cancer. At the beginning of this week, we from the blogosphere were sending all our good thoughts and Karma her way because she was having a CT scan done and going in for a 3rd round of chemo. It didn't work. The cancer has gotten worse. The doctor stopped treatment. Fuckity fuck! This is a woman who has already been through the wringer twice before, and now this shit? Like I said, it sucks. She has 2 beautiful children who are in danger of losing their mother, a husband who is in danger of losing his wife, family who is in danger of losing someone special. I want to do something, to be able to say something besides,"I'm sorry.", but I don't have any words that can make it better, no magic pill that will cure everything. I just have hopes and wishes and my Karma that I am currently trying to send her way along with the rest of the bloggers who know her. I just discovered this wonderful person, and it isn't fair that she is having this happen to her. Ahhhhh, but there in lies the rub. The world is not fair. The world is one big bitch that will get you if you aren't looking. so make sure you keep an eye out for her.
If you have a few minutes, check out Clusterfook. http://clusterfook.com/ Read back a little like I did. You'll see a wonderful person, a great mom,.... a human being. Then, if you can, there is a link on the left for donations. Let's help out someone who needs it. Lets show the world that we can be there for each other, no matter how much of a bitch she can be!
Thursday, July 17, 2008
So I see this photo and the others like it and ask myself, "Self, is this going to make you not want to go to the beach anymore?" and I say back in my sassiest of tones, "Hell naw! I am a Florida girl and we are just neighbors to these animals. Respect is the key." It still makes me wonder what the girl in the photo said to herself when she saw it.
ZOMGWTFIT!!!! comes to mind......
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
I know I have mentioned before that I am married to a hot, younger man. He is referred to as HHH on here. He sexy, oh so sexy, and still in is 20's! Yes, I am robbing the cradle, thank you very much! Your applause is greatly appreciated!
He is great. It's nice to have a man who is obsessed with sex around the house. Now that I am arriving at that point in my life where my sex drive has kicked in to high gear, having a man who can oblige me is VERY convenient. And, oh, does he have energy and imagination! One thing he does not get into,.... is my blogging. He has no clue why I do it. I try to explain that it's cheaper than therapy, I get interaction with people I admire, IT'S CHEAPER THAN THERAPY!, but he just nods, says, "that's nice dear." and goes about his merry way. Until recently, he hadn't even read my blog..... but now he does, and there in lies the rub I find myself in. He asked me why I don't blog more about our sex life.
I blog just about everything. I blogged our kids in school, my Mom being a fucktard, our becoming homeless, our becoming even MORE homeless, my illnesses, my kids diabetes, doctors, awards, bikes.......you name it. I even blog funny or outrageous crap I see on the Internet or TV,(and we all know there is tons of funny shit on TV.). But when it comes to my sex life, I have always taken a "less is more" kind of approach
He just doesn't get the fact that I don't want everyone to know what a freak I am. Yep, bonafide freak, right here! I like sex. Hell I love sex. I divorced someone because they told me that they only wanted sex maybe twice a month! If I could have an entire weekend of nothing but wild, hang from the light fixtures sex I would. Hell, I was being naughty with HHH at Universal on the Cat In The Hat ride. ( I was feelin' up his lap bar!) I just am a little tactful when it comes to writing about it. And when I say I am a freak, I'm not just talking about weird positions,..... I am talking full on, toys, clothing, lotions, and other such things. HHH, at one point in time, worked for a hot shop(code: Sex Shop), in Memphis, and I loved his employee discount! I had whips, costumes, toys, you name it! It was soooooo cool. And having a man who would liberally use these implements of pleasure on me was even more cool! So, it's not that there is anything to write about, just that I don't write about it often. Usually, when I do mention our sex life, it's in hushed tones with.......ahem......uh.....cough.....stuff like that. HHH thinks I should give up all the juicy details. He wants me to be more straight forward, more open. This from a man that screams at me, "Why the hell did you blog about THAT!?!", when I blogged about our troubles earlier this year. So, if I were to go by his rules, I can blog about our sex life all I want, but I cannot blog about the rest of our life. Not. At. All. Doesn't make sense to me either.
So now, I am wondering if I am holding back a little so that you, my readers, don't think I am weird, or strange, or something even worse. Or maybe I am enjoying a great thing at home and don't want a line at my front door......either way, HHH is a hot piece of ass that I enjoy on a nightly basis, and maybe.....if I get really inspired, I'll tell you about it........someday!
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
The laundry is something else that bothers me. The out building for this house has washer/dryer hookup's, but they do not work. I have my washer in the kitchen with a water hose from outside hooked up to it coming in from the window. It is a very rigged up sort of situation. There is no where to hook up the dryer, so I have a copious amount of clothes line hooked up between the house and a large wooden post. Well yesterday, as I am putting the clothes on the line, one of them breaks and everything on that line goes down for the count. Great. Now I gotta wash them again. Then I look over, and there is an ant trail leading to the house on one of the other lines. I just can't win! So I'm standing there, clothes on the ground, ants trotting merrily to my house on my clothesline, and I just lose it. I'm now officially 36 years old, I live in a town so small there are no available jobs, HHH hasn't gotten anything back on his resumes he's been handing out online, and my house is falling apart due to bugs and age. Nothing like a breakdown outside where the neighbors can see it! Whoo hoo! I went back inside and finished off my little "break down" in there. HHH had cleaned up the kitchen for me, and the kids had taken care of their rooms and the living room for me. I sighed and hoped it would get better. It has to get better. We have already been on the bottom of the barrel. We have already been homeless, broke, ill, etc.... There has to be an up escalator around here somewhere, right? God, I hope so!
Then, as I was surfing the web, I saw this woman on CNN.com. This woman is 80 years old, and still stripping. Not the shake your moneymaker kind of stripping, but burlesque. Stripping in it's most artistic form. Now If I am feeling old, that must just be my fault, because this just goes to prove you're only as old as you feel.I wanna look this good when I am 80! A little wrinkly, but still in shape.
Monday, July 14, 2008
One thing I didn't twitter was the indulgence of my coffee habit at Starbucks. OMG! I live in BFE, so to get good coffee, I have to wait until we are going somewhere that has a Starbucks, or a Dunkin Donuts. This is strange because up until a year ago.....I HATED COFFEE! Hated. It. I couldn't stand the smell, it was way too bitter, and no amount of sugar, cream, milk, you name it could make me even entertain the idea of drinking it. Then, we started to have all the problems I have been blogging about. The moving from Memphis, the not being able to find a place, my parents saying they'll help then turning their backs on us, job loss, etc..... I was down in the dumps one day and as I passed a DD, I thought about that commercial they had playing on TV...."Treat yourself to a Frappaccino...." So I did. A chocolate one. The coffee taste was strong, bitter,...... but I didn't mind. It was something affordable I could treat myself to. It wouldn't break the bank to have one occasionally. Then, I tried one from Starbucks. O. M. G. That was heaven! The coffee was stronger, there was whipped cream and drizzled chocolate, I had to learn words like Venti, and Grande! I felt so pretentious just being there. So now, I have a small habit that I so indulged in Orlando this weekend. I indulged "other" things too....
I don't know what it was, but I was feeling frisky as a teenager yesterday. Not at all like a 36 year old mother of 3. We made our way over to IOA and started out at Seuss Landing like always.... and on the Cat In The Hat ride...... um...... I was being naughty with HHH. Not the smoochy, necking kind of naughty, because with the spinning whipping motion of that ride you'd knock each others teeth out, but the groping, touchy feely kinda naughty! Heh heh, HHH was in heaven! Awwww c'mon! You know you've all done it! Then we went and did it again on Spiderman! Naughty, yes I know. But I was on vacation......
We also got galaxy defender almost every single time we went on Men In Black. Last night, towards the end of the night, we were going on MIB and every time we went through, something was malfunctioning. First time was one of the monster areas where monsters are supposed to pop up, then was the end where Will Smith tells you your scores, last was the part before the end where Will Smith is on a Jumbo Screen in the faux Times Square....... We decided to forgo a 4th trip. With our luck, the entire ride would have stopped and we'd have been stuck in there. We decided to see the last Beetlejuice show instead.
Oh and that was an experience, let me tell you. The Sunday crew for that show was the dregs of the talent pool apparently. The guy playing Beetlejuice was a fat, uncoordinated mess! At the beginning he goes out into the audience and warms up the crowd, and this guy couldn't even ad lib a joke or two beyond the scripted stuff. It was just kinda sad. Then, in the middle of the show, I see this flashing light beyond the stage set. I lean over to HHH and ask, "Is that heat lightning?" He leans back to me and says, "No that's lightning lightning!" As if to punctuate his sentence, A huge strike of lightning hits and the subsequent boom of thunder that followed separated the Floridians from the tourists. The tourists jumped out of their seats, us Floridians just sat and said, "Oh that was a good one." The funny thing was, it started to rain right as the show was playing, "It's Raining Men". After the show was over, the storm was hitting pretty hard and there was hail. The ushers told everyone to stay put till the worst was past and we could leave without getting fried by the lightning. It was about 20 minutes and then the storm passed. We decided to leave the park all together and not stay for the fireworks and laser show.
So, all in all, I had a good weekend. From Brendan, to the fireworks, it was a cool time! Hopefully we'll get to do it next year too......Oh Brendan......
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Well, if you have been following on Twitter.... today was a day of ups and downs. First off, HHH was sick. Not just cough cough, hack, sneeze sick, but "Oh my God! What did I eat that is trying to kill me!" kind of sick. I tried to cut the trip short, but he wouldn't let me. He convinced me that he just needed some fresh air and some cold water and he'd be better. OK. No Problem. We went to the park and started in Seuss land like we always do. Then we went to the Sinbad show. It was so cute. There was a guy who had gone ahead and made a deal with the show admin..... he had his girlfriend picked out of the audience during pre-show, and towards the end of the warm up, he stopped and asked her to marry him. All together now......."Awwwwwwww!"
That's her saying yes.
While at Sinbad, the rains came. It rained and rained and rained some more. When it finally stopped, we decided to go back over to Universal. We hit the BeetleJuice show a few times and the kids got to get his autograph!
Friday, July 11, 2008
Then........BRENDAN CAME OUT!!! Whoo hoo! He looked soooo fine!! he was all joking and funny. He really seemed to be excited about plugging the movie! He even slipped in a plug for the "Journey To The Center Of The Earth", although I don't think he was supposed to!
This was the guy who won the trip for two to the movie premier in Hollywood! HHH and I entered for it, but didn't win.
Isn't he such the hottie. He even had a Q & A with the audience. So nice!
And here we have the chair. The chair that became a BIG problem for me after Brendan left the stage. See, after he left, there was that guy again who was throwing t-shirts. The t-shirt guy got on stage and threw out more shirts. Then he left the stage and everyone started to leave. No big. I wanted to go up to the front before we left and take a picture of this chair for my blog, right. Well, Rebecca and I got up there and I took the picture...... and then the t-shirt guy's minions came back with a whole case of t-shirts!! Everyone who had turned to leave now turned BACK around and trampled/crushed us! I was blocking for my daughter and ended up losing my breath and couldn't breathe!
This is me driving to the park!
This is the Mummy Car they had out by the stage area.Here is some of the pre-show clips they were showing.
That's Brendan and t-shirt guy on the jumbotron. Brendan was just yummy!!!
Once again,.......yummy! It was a good time. Eventually, I started feeling better and I met up with HHH in the gift shop(he had taken the two little ones to the arcade while Rebecca and I were out in the crowd.), and we went about our merry way and went to ride the Simpsons(which totally was banging into the wall of the ride.) Then there was a HUGE lightning storm and we decided to leave. Unfortunately..... so did everyone else, and seeing as how it was 5pm in Orlando, I-4 was a complete parking lot.......in the rain....... and the lightning. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeee! Still, I had a great time, and we have two more days to enjoy! More later!