Tuesday, November 11, 2008

That Clown Tried To Kill Me!

Well, not per se.... but it surely felt like it. Here let me explain......

Today was Customer Appreciation Day at the Clownburger (aka-McD's). They had a buy one, get one free for their Big Mick's and one/fourth of a pounders. HHH went and acquired two of these such sandwiches for us to share at lunch time, (when he finally got lunch. If you follow me on twitter you saw what occurred.) We ate the sandwiches and HHH had to return to work. I have to say that I wasn't impressed with McD's after all this time. We hadn't been to a McD's in about 2 and a half months, and I didn't miss it at all. All was well and right with the world.

Then came 5pm.

I was cooking up chili dogs and potato wedges for dinner and I felt a terrible rumble. The kind of rumble I feel when my stomach is going to revolt on me from both ends. I only feel like this when I am about to have an attack from my Celiac's. So, I disappear to the bathroom to emerge a few minutes later. It wasn't pretty. I felt like crap. I also had to wash up, finish dinner, and ride with Ms. M to pick up Morgan from Ballet class. (HHH was playing Wii with Junior.) I leave everything on the stove for HHH to baby sit, and I run down stairs to Ms. M's van and we start off to the school to get Morgan. Halfway there I feel the rumble again. I am having a totally banal conversation with Ms. M, but in the back of my mind I am having a completely different conversation with my body. It went something like....

Me: "Hey Body! Knock this crap off! I have friends now and I don't need to gross out her and her family!"

Body: "WTF ever! You're the one who ate Clown Burger today! What in the world made you think I'd actually keep that in my system and not shoot it out as fast as possible?"

Me: "Oh I don't know. I thought that it would be a treat since we hadn't had McD's in forever."

Body: "And you felt better when we didn't eat there huh? Make the connection Blondie!"

Me: "OK. OK, we'll never eat there again, but for right now could you please hold any and all bodily functions till we pick up Mo and get home?" DO NOT DO THIS TO ME NOW!!"

Body: "Heh, heh! We'll see....."

I was not a happy camper, but I don't think I let it on. We got to the school, picked up Morgan, got back and ran up the stairs. I just made it. I am talking JUST made it. One second more and there would have been a MAJOR problem. I am not very happy when the Celiac's acts up, but add that to an entire revolt of my body to a major fast food company and my life sucks lardy, sweaty balls. And to top it all off, I still had to have chili dogs for dinner.... I didn't feel like making anything else.

Stupid clown.


Finn said...

Ah, so it's the clown's fault...

This reminds me of once when I was eating potato chips and Mister asked me if he could have one. I said no and he got pissed at me. He forgot that he can't each anything fried because of his Crohn's Disease. One would think this would be something he wouldn't forget given he gets the same reaction as you did.

DutchBitch said...

I say slip some laxatives in the clowns drinks for a week or so... ya know.. payback.. ;-)

Hope you feel better soon!

Trukindog said...

So it's no clown burger or BEER for you then huh!
THAT SUCKS DARLIN, although we'ed probably all be better off without clown burger.

Ms. Florida Transplant said...

Wow, that sucks. Hope you're feeling better!