Monday, October 27, 2008

Why I Had Kids.

I was young, but in my 20's. I wasn't married ....yet, but I was engaged. I had a job..... but it wasn't what I wanted to go do with my life. My children were all a surprise from Karma.... all except Junior. HHH and I planned him. Still, I do not know a single time in my entire life when I did not want my kids. Not a single one. Not when I was in the midst of my divorce from the Ex, not when Morgan became desperately ill and was later diagnosed with diabetes, not when my Ex and his Mom and Dad decided it would be fun to call DCS on me at least once a week to the point that DCS said they would bring them up on charges if they did it again without cause, and not when we were homeless, poor, and hungry. I have always wanted my children. ALWAYS!

Now, it seems, Nebraska has a law in place that says anyone can give their children up, as long as they are under the age of 18, at any safe haven designate shelter, like a church, hospital, police station, or fire station. If you are tired of your kids, can't deal with what it takes to be a parent, and really want to be free.....heck just take a drive through America's heartland and dump your kids off in The Husker State! That's what one Georgia mother just did. http://tinyurl.com/5f65dy She drove from Smyrna, Georgia with her 12 year old son and dropped him off at a Lincoln, Nebraska hospital. Just took him for a 1000 mile drive and dumped him. How do you do that? I have no idea. I cannot wrap my mind around it. Even at my most frustrated and frazzled, I haven't wanted to get rid of my children. What do you tell a kid as you're making that drive?

"Well son, it's been a hard 12 years, and you're OK and all, but Dad and I are really wanting to have some alone time, and you're just getting in the way. So, I am going to drop you off over here in Nebraska, and if our plans change, we'll come look you up, OK?"

What does that do to a child's psyche? How does that affect them for the rest of their lives? Can they even recover from hurt like that? How much therapy does it take to make someone not feel like they were thrown out like a piece of garbage? A whole damn lot I say. Those parents......wait, I'm not going to say it. There may be something horrible happening at home that made these people do this, but dammit man..... I was freakin' HOMELESS and I found a way to keep everyone together.

I feel sorry for these kids..... but a part of me is glad Nebraska had this problem with their law. What would have become of these kids if there was no where for them to go?

The world is frightening..... and it isn't even Halloween yet.

8 comments:

kvegas911 said...

If I was to give Kate up I might as well have my heart ripped from my chest and curl up and die. Until I became a mother I didn't know what it was like to physically feel missing someone-even though she's just at Mom's house while I'm at work or asleep in bed when I want to cuddle her in the big bed with me and her Daddy. I just can't fathom it. I don't know how anyone could not want their child. I mean, this isn't exactly giving up a baby for adoption here-I have no problem with that.

Blondefabulous said...

KVEGAS: Now that the news media has picked up on the whole story, it seems that the 12 year old is a problem child with a juvy record a mile long. This mother was at her wits end after the boy got in trouble yet again and when he called her bluff of "I'll take you to Nebraska and leave you there!", well.... she got in the car and did it. Nebraska is sending the child back to Georgia, however, and now maybe he will get the help he has most probably been denied before. Why does it take a blow up like this for parents with problem kids to get help??

Finn said...

I think the law was meant for people who have unwanted pregnancies or who are struggling (possibly with PPD) with their babies. The idea is to keep the kids from being left in dumpsters or in the street.

Not everyone is cut out to be a parent. Not everyone should be a parent. At least the kids will be safe this way.

metalmom said...

In PA we also have a safe haven law and it also says "drop off the kid, no questions asked" (I believe it's about infants)

For some reason, I keep reading about girls who drop their baby off at a firehouse, police station or hospital and having charges brought against them for abandonment. Isn't that what the safe haven act boils down to in the first place? Abandonment? If some of these disturbed kids are afraid of interrogations and charges, they will continue to use the dumpsters. I just don't understand why agencies take decent measures, and then screw them all up.

Blondefabulous said...

FINN: I get people wanting to leave infants at the hospital. Your emotions are all roiled up and the teen mothers may actually be smart enough to realize that they may not be able to give the baby a good life, but the parents dropping odd the older kids? That one has me....

METALMOM: I don't understand why we prosecute women for giving up their babies. They are trying to do the right thing and we are prosecuting them for it? WTF is that all about. I am just saddened by the older kids getting left behind. They may have problems, but as a parent, you committed to you kid your time and love to help them through those..... to take it back is just cruel.

Tug said...

I read about this, too...one dad gave up ALL his kids, up to 17 years old! I also saw that Nebraska is changing the law because it was meant as a safe haven for infants...

This world scares me sometimes. OK, a lot.

Blondefabulous said...

TUG: You and me both!

Ms. Florida Transplant said...

The next thing you know, there's going to be a match.com for kids and parents that get tired of each other!