Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Hi! Long Time No See!

Hello all! yes it is another bright and shiny day here at Casa de Blondefabulocity! Well, it's a day anyway. I am watching the Olympics again, watching Phelps kick major ass, and I saw his little back story that they run on the racers between races. It got me to thinking.... what's my back story? You all know that I am debating about whether or not to go to the Kick Off Party in Land O Lakes because I just don't know if I want to tell my back story to anyone. Yeah I can be myself....that's not the problem. It's the inevitable, "So what have you been doing since college?" question that I am dreading most.
What have I been doing? Hmmm..... well I was a dumbass and got pregnant, then married the daddy when I knew in my heart that it wasn't right.(That's what I get for listening to my mother!) I got several menial jobs because my husband at that time was convinced that AMWAY was the way to invest any of our hard earned money we had extra. I basically supported our family and eventually had two more "birth control babies". I divorced #1 and started dating HHH who was patient enough to wait 4 years until I was ready to marry again, and in those years had not one but two children be diagnosed with type one diabetes, learned to be a cook and chef, and dealt with living in a state I came to despise! During all of this my health, both mental and physical, had been constantly up and down, till finally I found out I had Celiac's as well as my daughter having Celiac's. That took out entire food groups for us! I am a bread eater! A lovely roasted garlic loaf tempts me more than a dessert! Nope. Gotta give it up now. Bah! And then that leads me to moving back to Florida, HHH losing his job because of a trifling bitch, and us becoming homeless. Oh yeah....I so want to share that!

I want to take a moment to say, as I am watching the Women's Gymnastics Finals, that the Chinese girls they have there look like they are 10 years old! WTF??? I thought that you had to be at least 16 to compete? Is China cheating? I don't know.....

OK, back to the matter at hand.....where was I? Oh yeah, my back story. Anyway, there is no way I can go there and tell these people that. OK, yeah you all are saying, "Well, just don't tell them the cruddy parts!" But then there would be HUGE holes in my past......eh, I don't know. Maybe it is the thing about going out on my own and interacting with people that is getting to me. I don't have friends. Due to the nature of HHH's jobs, (apartment community maintenance) we move quite a bit compared to most people. You have to go where the jobs are, and with the kids constantly needing me at school or at home, I never really made friends. I read all the blogs and envy those that say, "Oh I went out with the girls last night!" or "Went to see a movie with my friend." Yeah, I don't get that. I pack my entire existence into my family. Sitters are few and hard to come by and expensive as hell if I can't get family to sit for me. (two diabetics require someone who is schooled in needles and care.) This party would be me, on my own, no HHH or kids to direct the conversation to. And we only have 1 car that HHH takes to work every morning and doesn't get home with until 6:30 at night. Am I interesting enough to keep up a conversation with? Can I hold my own with other people? I just don't know. HHH says I can. He was kind of angry with me Tuesday after he read my post. He was saying, "Hell, you watch CNN, surf the web, and talk with people on the net all the damn time! Of course you can make good conversation." Le sigh........ I am still up in the air, which is why I have put a poll on my blog. Vote me on or off the island, so to speak. So far everyone is telling me to go, go, go! Someone even voted for the "Lie your ass off!" choice! Ha ha, don't think I will be doing that, but I have till Saturday to figure out what to do. How the hell am I nervous to go and meet up with people I have known before, but was a-okay with going to meet Brendan??? Bah... whatever....just go and vote for what ever you think I should do. Maybe I should go just for the blog fodder it would give me. But I have decided I will abide with whatever is voted on, so go and vote away! I am at your mercy!

Damn those Chinese girls look underage! They just showed the Chinese women's team next to the American Women's team and the difference was startling!

So that's where I am. Debating parties, looking for open house dates for school, and getting sleepy because it is 11:15 pm Tuesday night and I am trying to keep to my "Write your post the night before" promise I made to myself. Oh, and if you get the chance, check out http://www.avitable.com/2008/08/12/huge-announcement/ and see what he has going on for his Halloween party!

And Nirvana STILL needs vacuuming. I hate ants.


lady jaye said...

You really should go to this party. I think twill do wonders for your self esteem as well. No one there is going to have a perfect life. Just think you have a beautiful family a HHH and are as far I can tell very happy most of the time. Not everyone has those things. There may even be alcoholics and drug addicts among that group that show up at the party. If you have all these fears I guarantee the otehrs do as well.

Putz said...

that was sort of a rant....a positive / reflective rant....you have so much to work with....nogh said

Bec said...

At reunions... say as little as possible - Your story - have a wonderful family and am international internet goddess. And then follow it up with something like Have you met HHH? Isn't he the yummiest? I'm getting a drink, who wants?'
Remeber, you are the person they all want to be.

Blondefabulous said...

LADY JAYE: Yeah, yeah I know. It's just...oh heck I guess I'll go.

PUTZ: Yes a rant, but just a small one.

BEC: The thing is, HHH is keeping the kids at home and I am going by myself. Just me with a big old spot light on me. I do like the international blog goddess though. That sounds good!

Avitable said...

You're going to come to my party, right?

blondefabulous said...

AVITABLE: Yes Adam! I am planning on it! Hope you like pirates!

Avitable said...

Arrrr, matey!