Sunday, July 27, 2008

My Boobs Are HUGE!

Holy Jebus! I am not feeling so hot right now. My fever is coming back, my aches and pains are back, and to top it all off..... I am in my pre-about to start mode. How do I know this?


Not run of the mill, large breasted, well endowed huge, but OMG they were already a 40 D and not in my premenstrual state huge, but holy mother of God how am I going to put on any of my shirts huge! Ugh. So I am sick, and I am so trying to ignore it. It isn't working though. I feel icky! Thanks again honey!

Anyway, back to my boobs. They are ginormous. I must have went up 2 cup sizes in the span of a day and a half. HHH has been hypnotized by them. I bet if I asked him with my boobs to rob a bank and go get me 50 frapaccino's he would right now.... as long as he got to rub my boobs. This is a new occurrence for me. I didn't start having this happen until about 2 years ago. Right about when my Celiac's started coming to the forefront, I started having heavy menstrual cycles. REALLY heavy. Also I started having hot flashes. Now this was when I was 34, so I wasn't thinking anything about nature trying to make an early exit on me. Hell, I didn't think I would even be in that arena till I was in my 40's considering that my Mom didn't start her change until she was 45. I thought I had time, I thought I was OK for a few more years.

Nope. When I put my symptoms down for a nurse friend and coworker of mine, she took one look and said, "Oh! You must be peri-menopausal!" WTF?!? Who he hell are you calling peri-menopausal? Not me! But oh yes, it was me. I was sweating like a whore in church at all kinds of odd times! I was bleeding like a stuck hog at that time of the month. MY BOOBS WERE INFLATING TO UTTERLY FLABERGASTICAL SIZE! What was that fresh hell? Nobody mentioned to me that when I entered the period before my period would stop on me that my BOOBS would go completely haywire! So I am sitting here, sick, inflated, whining about my tata's while HHH is sitting next to me DROOLING over my BOOBS and trying his damndest to get me in the sack so he can get his hands on my massive mammaries! Of course, after his last two posts, what did you expect?

I oughta let him suffer, and shake my jubblies in front of him unmercifully but not let him touch..... it would remind him of his days bouncing at a tittie bar!


Finn said...

I hear ya'. The boobs do funny things when the hormones begin to wane. Makes no damn sense to me.

I say... enjoy the attention!

pinktomato said...

LMAO !!!

henry3 said...

How about a pic of those huge boobs next time. wink wink