Saturday, July 19, 2008

Am I Hot Or What?

Well, I think yesterday went well. HHH did a grand job blogging in my place! I never knew I was an "Oral Goddess", before, but if he says so, who am I to argue! We are going to Universal today, so I am doing this post Saturday night and am going to post it before we leave. Now, in keeping with the theme this week, (sex), I was thinking about me. Yeah, pretty selfish I know, but really, unless you are a narcissist, you don't think about yourself very often. For the longest time, I never really gave a thought about me. What I wore, how I did my hair, what make-up I applied...... nope didn't give it a second thought. I had a family to worry about, occasionally a job to attend to and those were my major priorities. What I really thought about my looks would fill up a thimble with room to spare. I didn't think I was "good looking" in any real sense of the word. Short, pudgy almost my entire life, teeth that aren't any sort of perfect due to parents who couldn't afford braces......... nothing to write home about. I always thought my strengths came from within. My sense of loyalty was unshakable once you had earned it. My love was unending if you had won it. My helpful nature was all yours for the asking. I was a "beautiful on the inside" kinda girl.
It's a hard thing, trying to photograph your insides. I tried once. It wasn't pretty. HHH tries to photograph my naughty bits all the time..... and no, those will not be on here. (Sorry hon!) It took HHH badgering me about taking more photos for me to start really taking more photos of me. I never really liked my photos. I always think I look like a parade float in them. But recently, I have noticed I don't look so bad. I have a good smile, laughing eyes, and I might not be as pudgy as I think I am.
I also read a post by on of my blogger friends, Jodi of Pink Tomato. She wrote about how she is her family's photographer also. (I take all the pictures, too.) She captures holidays, sports, family moments, and she isn't in very many of the pictures. When you think about it, what kind of legacy does this leave your children. When my grandmother died, she left dozens of photo albums, detailing the family history intricately! She was in at least 45% of them too. I know that my Grandmother was a looker because I saw a picture of her and my grandfather when they went out on a date. I know she was a domestic diva because there were countless photos of her in the tiny kitchen in their 3 room house making hearty meals for her 5 children and her husband. I know these facts because she let herself be in photos. Jodi is right. If I don't let myself be photographed, what will my kids show their kids? Yeah I'll be here to see them, but then I'll be and OLD( knock on wood, bang bang!) woman. I want them to know the hottie that got married on the Vegas strip. I want them to remember the girl in high school that was the drum major in a sparkly outfit. I want them to be able to show their children and their children's children who I was.

And then there's the fact that lately, I have gotten a few really nice comments on the few photos of me I have posted on here. Nothing creepy thank goodness, but encouraging enough that I have started to think, maybe I'm not the troll I think I am. I just say, as long as HHH thinks I am a hottie, oral goddess........ who cares right?


Finn said...

I think a lot of us feel that way. We just have to get over it and see ourselves the way other people see us.

You have a wonderful, infectious smile and a devilish twinkle in your eye. You look perfectly beautiful to me.

Christina LMT said...

You are an absolutely gorgeous [Oral ;)] Goddess, and don't let anyone tell you any different, ya hear?!

Putz said...

i don't think i will say anything, i wear my heart on a sleeve anyway, and so my feelings will be ocked away inside....i LOVE YOU BLONDEFAB, OOPS I WENT AND SAID IT ANY WAY DIDN'T I????????

Anonymous said...

You have a gorgeous face.