Friday, December 7, 2007

Nutcracker Not So Sweet!

Oh Please Kill Me! Alright, maybe I am exaggerating, but I am a wore out woman! Whew! I was a little misinformed about the days events and how they were to unfold, so let me walk you through the small hell that was the Kindergarten Field Trip to the Nutcracker.....

I drove the kids to school this morning since I had to be at the school by 7:30am to sign in at the office. I get to my son's room and go in and low and behold.... No Ms. Duncan! She is conspicuously absent and there is another woman in her place. It looks like they drug this lady out of retirement to come here! I am thinking.... Man, I bet Ms. Duncan dipped on this on purpose! Now, I am just there to care for my son. He is a diabetic, and since the school can't afford to send a paid medical assistant with him, I go instead. I haven't been fingerprinted or anything as is required by the school to be a general volunteer, so I wasn't supposed to have charge of any kids other than my son. This poor lady who is now in charge of 19 Kindergartners is telling me that there will be another parent along with us and he is supposed to help. Dude never shows. Finally we hear that he is meeting us at the theater. OK. We go to get in line and start for the bus. Wait a minute?!? I gathered from the permission slip it was just my sons class........oh no...... it is ALL the Kindergartners. OMG! It is about 100 of them, en mass, all whining, talking, chattering like little monkeys! Lord give me strength!! I am trying to help unobtrusively. (Stay in line. Don't hit him. Use the potty before we leave, etc) But I am being further relied upon by the Substitute for more pressing duties, ( Bathroom monitor, Lunch patrol, etc...)

We get on the bus and the next snafu occurs. There is only 1 bus for the nearly 100 Kindergartners. There was a mix up at the bus depot and they only sent 1 bus and driver. So we pile in 3 classes at a time, and the poor driver has to make several trips! To top it off, there is a 3 car wreck on Ocean Blvd and we have to detour around it. We finally get there and start moving into the theater. For some reason, we are being sent to the balcony. The cheap seats. The teachers start to question why this is occurring since they had to send in the money 6 weeks in advance! It seems a few Montessori schools came up and paid that morning to get seated on the front rows! Bummer. Damn those snooty schools!

We wait a bit and I am answering a bunch of questions about when does it start, who is going to dance, yadda, yadda, yadda and finally the Dance Mistress comes out to announce the start of the show. Luckily for me, they are only doing 2 of the acts. Unluckily, Junior goes low in the middle of the first act and drops to 50! I start ripping into his lunch and force feeding him his Skittles from the lunchable we brought for him. He comes around and we watch the end of the first act. They have a quick intermission before the next act. The second act commences and the kids are much rowdier than in the first one. Make a note: Do not give kids even 5 minutes to get fidgety and cranky! Who thought it was a good idea to take 100 kids with attention spans the size of a gnat to a classical ballet?? Maybe 1st graders, but 5 and 6 year olds?? Not a good idea. So they get done watching the show, and my son is saying he's hungry. that's when it comes to me that the kids missed the morning snack time because we were on the bus. That's why Junior dropped so rapidly during the first act.

We gather all our little melon-heads and head out the door and begin walking to Flagler Park to have lunch outside picnic-style. We get everyone in a circle, as are all the other teachers, and we begin eating. That's when The Substitute says "Who has to use the restroom? Go With Mrs Wetherington!" I went over to her to tell her I wasn't an actual volunteer and I didn't want to get her in trouble with the administration, but seeing as how the real volunteer just showed up for the Ballet and ate lunch and left, she has no choice but to press me into service. I make numerous bathroom runs, trash runs, and then...... OMG! The Substitute asks me to take the kids who are done to the play area. THE PLAY AREA! There are already about 50 kids in the area running around like crazy! So I take my 11 from the class and head over and I thought I was just going to watch them from outside of the play area, Noooooooooooooooooooooooo! My kids are running around and I have to go in to watch them! I am in my Mom clothes! Nice low heeled sandals, mom jeans, and a linen shirt. i was not expecting to break up sand fights and push swings! I finally look up after a few minutes, and there is the Substitute watching me keep all the kids in line! Wait!?! Isn't what they pay her for????? By now I am tired, worn out and pooped! I did have all the kids counting to 25 and singing and liking me.... but I digress. The Substitute blows her whistle and calls the class to the gate of the play area. We start to shake all the sand off the kids and gather up the lunch boxes. We get everyone on the bus, and boy are they tired, cranky, and still sandy! We get to the school and I decide to pull all mine out and just call it a day and go HOME! I feel bad for Substitute, but I gotta go. I was only supposed to be mom to my kid, not all of them! I guess I should just pay the $29 to get the finger printing done and not have to worry about getting anyone in trouble.

So now I am tired, The day is over, except for the town Christmas Parade tonight, and i have the pictures posted on my Flickr . I still say the teacher called in on purpose. Hell, I would have too! Would you??


Russ said...

Whose brain cramp was it to send kids that age to a ballet, again? As an adult, I can barely focus that long on a ballet (I like classical music, but ballet just isn't my cup of tea). Would you at least get paid if you got registered as an assistant?

Blondefabulous said...

Nope, It's all strictly volunteer work. I go because if there wasn't someone able to check on my diabetic son's condition during said field trips, he would automatically be excluded. They can't afford to pay someone from the school to go......but we can vote 41 million more for war! Go figure!

Russ said...

Well, that is more of Federal government thing vs state government, but I understand what you are saying.