Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Monday, April 14, 2014

Not Funny.



You know that thing where you freak out because your Lady Times are late, then they kind of happen, but they don't happen, and then you think you might be preggers at 41 years old and you're all "Oh hell no!" because you do the math and if it is really going that direction you'd be 60 years old as a mom at a High School graduation, so you take like FIVE pregnancy tests with them all saying "Not Pregnant" but you don't know whether to believe it or not because of the whole almost non existent last lady time you had but then suddenly you have a lady time that's a week and a half early and basically the Niagara Falls of lady times so you count your blessings and do a happy dance blaming it on menopause getting a jump start on you till you think back to when the whole thing started and you realize....

The whole shebang started on April first. 
Your body just played the biggest April Fool's Day prank on you ever!

Well played Aunt Flo...... well played.

Saturday, April 12, 2014

Generous

Someone I have only met in person 3 times in my life decided to donate $250 to my Tower of Terror running fundraiser. 

Some people just restore my faith in humanity when it becomes shaken by folks like the jackass that tried to run me over a week or so ago.

If you'd like to make a donation as well, my website is here. I'm running for the Noah's Light Foundation, which researches & helps pediatric cancer patients!



Go #RunFatGirlRun GO!!

Monday, April 7, 2014

#RunFatGirlRun!

That's my hashtag. 

I've been using it ever since my first race at Disney. Several folks have been asking why I am degrading myself by basically calling myself fat. I have never looked at it that way. I have been a bigger woman most of my life, starting when I was 11. My sister left for the Army and I didn't realize I was replacing her with cookies. It went on through High School until I had a summer that was PACKED with club and camp activities. Being on a constant run kept me from stuffing my maw with food. I was a size 9 those next 3 years. My sophomore year in college saw a rise in the scale. Later when I began to have kids things went even higher. I started roller derby when I was 36 and got into the best adult shape of my life, but once I retired the pounds came back. What can I say? I enjoy good food. I'll never be sorry about that.

So I started running.... well, walking/running. I'm not the fastest, but I get along pretty well. I'm a big woman, still I can complete a 5K. I'm practicing for a 10 mile run in October for a children's cancer charity! I don't give up. I push and keep going. I am proud that I'm fat, but I run anyway. You can glance at me and dismiss my effort all you want, I don't give a shit.


  • I want to live life to the fullest! 
  • I want to eat that dessert! 
  • I want to drink that fruity umbrella drink!
  • I want to dance as I run down the road!
  • I want to sing when I run!
  • I want to tell other people I meet running that they rock my socks off!

I can do ALL THOSE THINGS even though I'm fat.  My #RunFatGirlRun hashtag is about all that and more! I can be fat, and live. I can be fat, and love. I can be fat, and run. The only thing that can stop me is me, and I'm not gonna let THAT happen.

So, #RunFatGirlRun is my way of embracing who and what I am, a human being who has a bit more padding in places! Take it or leave it, but my using that hashtag takes away the power of those who might call me fat derisively. 

#RunFatGirlRun

(If you would like to sponsor me with a buck or two, my donation page is here. All the money I raise will go to the Noah's Light Foundation for children with Brain cancer.)

Friday, April 4, 2014

The Natural Progression.



Twat Waffle + Pink Taco = Waffle Taco!

Since every Taco Bell I've ever been to has employed nothing but complete DICKS, I see this as their natural progression.

Monday, March 31, 2014

Squirrel Shenanigans


We have all met Mr. Chippy, yes? 
Good.


They are a cute bunch. I started feeding them Cheez-Its in an effort to keep them from getting in to the attics in search of food. Now they are in the habit of knocking on the front door when they're hungry. Yesterday I didn't have any Cheez-its. All I had was Keebler Fudge Stripe cookies.


Apparently that wasn't a problem.

So now that I have given a squirrel a cookie, I'm waiting for him to ask me for a glass of milk!

Friday, March 28, 2014

Let Them Eat Cake!

Made a birthday cake for a dear friend's grandson. He's turning 2! The photo is from the dry run of putting it together. The pineapple will get fondant fronds coming out of the top of it tomorrow after it gets transported to the party site! Everything is edible too, with the exception of some straws & toothpicks that were needed for structural support. This turned out pretty good. I made it in one day.

ONE DAY!


Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? 

I DO!!!